back to article UK mulls ban on tiny mobiles to block prison smugglers

UK police and government officials are considering a plan to block the sale of small mobile phones designed to look like car key fobs after confiscating an increasing number of the mini-mobes from prisoners. Car key fob phone Phone too popular with prisoners "A range of techniques – including body orifice security scanners …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. corestore

    How in hell do you go about banning phones on grounds of *size*?

    You can't legislate that!

    "The National Trading Standards Board has also asked British retailers to stop selling the tiny telephones. It also points out that such small devices are "electrically unsafe meaning they could cause fires and injure consumers through electrocution."

    I call undiluted BS. What, phones smaller than a certain size can't be made safe?

    Cretins.

    1. M Gale

      Governments can legislate whatever the hell they want. They're the government.

      Howinhell else do you think it's illegal to sit in the middle of London with a victoria sponge upon which has been iced the words "PEACE"?

      Hopefully this stupid shit won't happen, but it wouldn't be the first time that the government has done some really stupid shit. Remember the ban on broadcasting anything said by Gerry Adams? Because apparently that'll stop the bombs going off.

      Oh, no it won't, it'll just persuade the news broadcasters to use voice actors.

      1. Grogan Silver badge

        "Governments can legislate whatever the hell they want. They're the government."

        Only because people are too pussy whipped by authority to do anything about it.

    2. LarsG
      Meh

      Could this be a plot instigated by the phablet manufacturers?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Illegal?

      Hand guns were made illegal and there are more in circulation than before.

      Relax was banned on the radio so everyone bought it.

      Banning it will just increase sales.

      1. Great Bu

        Re: Illegal?

        It's true, until I saw this article I didn't even know these things existed, but now I want one !

        1. Evan Essence

          Re: Illegal?

          Talk about Streisand effect! I'd never heard of these things, and now I want one.

        2. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Illegal?

          I'd seen AMPS phones this small 20 years ago but never saw a GSM one. Now I want it.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Illegal?

        Your logic is flawed because you have not made a cause and effect case.

        Handguns were made illegal because of their increasing use. Whether making them (more) illegal has slowed down the rate of increase or not is a moot point, but you cannot assume that the increase is caused by a ban.

        1. M Gale

          Re: Illegal?

          Handguns were made illegal because of their increasing use.

          Handguns were restricted beyond all reasonable belief and made incredibly hard to use legally because of a psychopathic fuckwit who shot up a school.

          A psychopathic fuckwit who was properly licensed and belonged to a gun club. The new laws would have done approximately fuck all to stop another Dunblane.

          But hey, a few politicians managed to wave their wangs all over the telly and take advantage of emotionally damaged mothers and fathers to promote their own agenda, so that's alright then.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Illegal?

            Handguns were restricted beyond all reasonable belief and made incredibly hard to use legally because of a psychopathic fuckwit who shot up a school.

            ...and no-one has done it since.

            1. M Gale

              Re: Illegal?

              ...and no-one has done it since.

              Those laws would have, and will do, nothing at all to stop another Dunblane.

              Besides, I'm sure people said what you're saying, after the various restrictions on rifles after Michael Ryan decided to turn Hungerford into a war zone. August 1987. I'm old enough to remember it, are you?

              They'll say it when the next fuckwit shoots someone up and we're all banned from owning peashooters.

              Give me a length of pipe no longer than your arm, and an ammo belt of craftily modified syringes, and I'll blowdart an embolism into you from across the street or further, which is about as accurate as you'll get with a pistol anyway.

              Guess we'd better watch out for those plumbers.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Illegal?

                Those laws would have, and will do, nothing at all to stop another Dunblane.

                However no-one has done it since.

                Besides, I'm sure people said what you're saying, after the various restrictions on rifles after Michael Ryan decided to turn Hungerford into a war zone. August 1987. I'm old enough to remember it, are you?

                Yes I am. You perhaps forget the more recent loony in Whitehaven who thankfully only had a shotgun rather than a semi-automatic assault rifle.

                Where the law doesn't prevent it, it does at least reduce the damage.

                1. Eddy Ito

                  Re: Illegal?

                  Where the law doesn't prevent it, it does at least reduce the damage.

                  Bird committed suicide in the woods. Perhaps he just ran low on ammo and needed the last round for himself or perhaps he had momentarily come to his senses long enough to end it permanently. The law didn't "reduce the damage" to 12 dead and 11 injured. The law didn't prevent any deaths at all since there was nothing in the law that stopped him from continuing.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Illegal?

            A psychopathic fuckwit who was properly licensed and belonged to a gun club.

            The psychopathic fuckwit in question was known to be unstable, one gun club refused to accept him and told the police that he should not be granted a firearms licence (which should have been the end of it), but was still granted one. The official who was responsible for that is the real fuckwit and as far as I am concerned has blood on his hands.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Illegal?

        Never heard about these little boys till I read this article. Two on order now for my evil twins, less than £80 the pair...result

        1. CommanderGalaxian
          Big Brother

          Re: Illegal?

          "Never heard about these little boys till I read this article. Two on order now for my evil twins, less than £80 the pair...result"

          Mehe - that's you on a watch list now!

        2. Havin_it

          Re: Illegal?

          >Two on order now for my evil twins[…]

          You bought one for each testicle?

      4. Jim 59

        Re: Illegal?

        Hand guns weren't banned as such, just the owning and selling of them in most circumstances.

        Likewise, the Relax record wasn't banned, only playing it on the BBC. If it had been banned the shops couldn't have legally stocked it.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Flame

      Totally Agree

      What complete and utter bullshit. Let's ban 7 inch tablets and go back to PC boxes the size of server rooms on the grounds you can't smuggle one up your ass into prison.

      Who are these unaccountable wankers that keep making stupid decisions that treat the population as if we are all nursery school kids that cannot be trusted ?

      1. monkeyfish

        Re: Totally Agree

        Let's ban 7 inch tablets and go back to PC boxes the size of server rooms on the grounds you can't smuggle one up your ass into prison.

        Wait, what? You can fit a 7 inch tablet up your arse?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Totally Agree

        You are Goatse and I claim my five pounds

    5. g e

      I didn't even know those things existed

      Want one, now!

      Oh and how does the 'electrocution' thing work on something with no more than 5V inside it? Did they put a dirty great voltage doubler inside for shits n giggles?

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > How in hell do you go about banning phones on grounds of *size*?

      Simple, you take each phone sold in Britain and see how if it can be inserted into the Home Secretary's arse.

      The one's that will go in are banned.

      1. Simon Harris
        Boffin

        "Simple, you take each phone sold in Britain and see how if it can be inserted into the Home Secretary's arse"

        BSi should ratify the Home Secretary's arse as the British Standard for phone sizing.

        I'd pay for that standards document, if only for the appendix with diagrams of the test procedures!

        Err.. maybe not... I just remembered Theresa May is Home Secretary - if the diagrams are too accurate I'd want to gouge out my eyes with blunt spoons afterwards!

        Eye protection is strongly recommended ------------------------->

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "BSi should ratify the Home Secretary's arse"

          I'm not sure about this. I'm inclined to agree that the physical phone doesn't come under the scope of CCITT, and probably not even the IEC, but surely the BSi should only standardise something that applies across the entire EU, or is indeed a worldwide standard..

          If this is made an ISO project that would probably help, but then we would need a table of equivalents - what is the US or Chinese equivalent of the Home Secretary? Perhaps they should concentrate on getting an EU Directive - there must be some EU wide agreement on the equivalent job titles for the shittiest job in Government.

          I volunteer for the relevant national committee. As someone with some experience in statistics, I will be delighted to spend days discussing the proper statistical approach to designing the perfect Head of Internal Security Rectal Model. Will it be time variant as postholders change?

          Alternatively if something more directly practical is envisaged, we will need to work out the retest procedure every time there is a change of Head of Internal Security, and how we track all of these small devices so that the owners can be instructed to present them for testing. And what they do with them afterwards. We really do not want any more outbreaks of C Diff than can be helped.

      2. Scott Pedigo
        Coat

        "Simple, you take each phone sold in Britain and see how if it can be inserted into the Home Secretary's arse.

        The one's that will go in are banned."

        Or you could just compare them with his head, since that fits.

    7. Vimes

      Just to echo what has already been said. They're the government. They can do whatever they want. If anybody asks 'you and what army?' they just have to point out of the window and say 'that one'...

      That said the government here seems to have problems with understanding that the majority of the world is not under their control (just look at their reaction to the Guardian and their copy of the leaked files - trying to explain to them that copies exists elsewhere had no impact at all).

      You ban them here, but how can you stop them being imported?

      I wonder if there's a way for UK networks to block the use of such handsets on their network. Is the EMEI number linked to a make and model for example?

      If getting this information is possible through this or other means then it would raise some interesting questions as to why the government prefers to opt for mass surveillance of mobile users in order to implement filters 'for the children' rather than stop children from using smartphones that are clearly inappropriate for them to use.

    8. Psyx
      Facepalm

      I'm failing to see why prisoners having things they shouldn't have - in a supposedly controlled, secure environment - should result in nobody else being able to buy said item.

      Who's being punished here?

    9. James Micallef Silver badge
      Facepalm

      The government "can" legislate that, but it would be both utterly nuts AND it would also be utterly unenforceable.

      If the issue is with prisons, then just block the signals inside the prisons* then it doesn't matter at all what size phones prisoners might or might not have.

      * if this is currently not legal, legislate to make it legal - at least that's legislation that is both sensible and enforceable

  2. Sooty

    I have a large mobile phone, in the best possible case I have to charge it up every few days. In a prison I'm sure there must be some way to stop anyone who smuggles a phone in to stop them getting at anything that would let them charge it.

    Although, if they do manage to smuggle in a charger as well, that makes it a bit harder, especially with a uk plug!

    1. Purlieu

      They don't need to smuggle chargers only charged-up batteries.

      My phone lasts 3 weeks on one charge (not all phones are iPhones/clones)

    2. browntomatoes

      Look up something called the "ThinCharger" (awesome for traveling light within the UK). A UK plug-based charger doesn't need to be that big.

      1. Big-G

        Look up the definition of 'charger' in Henri Chariere's book, "Papillione" ! Pretty sure this was written before we had mobile phones.

    3. Wize

      Many of these are text only. Those phones could be on standby for days. Even longer when turned off as you down want it to go off when the guards are around.

      Some modify some of the electronics in their cell to charge them too. Hit the right spot in your cell's TV or radio and you might get something close to the charging voltage.

    4. Alan Brown Silver badge

      chargers

      According to media, are normally smuggled in sans-plug and used by poking wires into shaver outlets or light sockets.

      I just keep thinking of Papillion.

    5. TwistUrCapBack

      ps2

      Playstations are allowed in prisons and mobiles are charged through usb. All ps2s are supposed to have port blockers installed but rarely do. Enforcing this would be the easiest way to curb mobile use as iv yet to see a charger that would go up someones ass

  3. Purlieu

    What has it got to do with

    SOCA ? Since when was selling/buying a small mobile phone a serious organised crime.

    SMMT ? They only resemble key fobs, auto makers don't make them. Doh, doh and thrice doh.

    1. The Mole

      Re: What has it got to do with

      I imagine the reason SOCA are involved is the fact that many of these phones aren't used to call family at home but instead to continue running their organised crime empire whilst behind bars.

      As for the key fobs, whilst the auto makers probably don't manufacture them, they are the people who commission and aprove the design and no doubt own exclusivity and probably the copyright for the design of their particular models.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What has it got to do with SOCA?

      Want some serious organised crime? There's an agency for that!

      1. CaptainHook

        Re: What has it got to do with SOCA?

        I want comically organised crime... is there an agency for that?

        1. Justicesays
          Joke

          Re: What has it got to do with SOCA?

          The Lafia

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Pint

            Re: What has it got to do with SOCA?

            "I want comically organised crime... is there an agency for that?"

            "The Lafia"

            Oh very good, sirs... Beers are on me

            (and I've always wondered about... disorganised crime)

      2. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: What has it got to do with SOCA?

        IIRC the Manchester Serious Crime Squad was responsible for perpetrating most serious crimes in Manchester during the 1970s.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What has it got to do with SOCA?

          Given that a Commons Select Committee want to ask some questions of the head of SOCA about why he didn't prosecute bent private investigators employed by e.g. firms of solicitors, and indeed claimed that to reveal the perpetrators would in some way breach their human rights (firms of solicitors have human rights?), perhaps not a lot has changed.

          Quis custodiet &c.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And in other news...

    Low-cost flying cars have finally gone into mass production. However they are banned in the UK because of the risk they could be used to break prisoners out of jail.

    1. leaway2

      Re: And in other news...

      ......and cake. It may have a file in it.

      1. hplasm
        Coat

        Re: And in other news...

        Cakes are now being detained at Heathrow.

  5. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Jammin'

    > prison officials confiscated 7,000 phones and SIM cards from prisoners

    What's so hard about installing electronic jamming equipment to make whatever phones do find their way in, useless?

    We know from the prevalence of drugs in chokey that it's impossible to stop people (whether vistors, guards or other workers) from bringing in illicit goods, or even tossing them over the walls. So surely a better solution - assuming the authorities want one that works, rather than one which merely placates the whiners - would be to remove the service that the phones rely on.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Jammin'

      Teach them to spell "Faraday". :D

      1. James Anderson

        Re: Jammin'

        Cage already in place.

    2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Jammin'

      Jamming would be a problem for all the legitimate phone users, like prison staff.

      Better to install pico/femto cells in the prison so that all phones have to connect to them. Then just configure the authorized phones (and they could be tapped for good measure). Prisoners' phones will just sit permamently on "emergency calls only", they can enjoy the irony of only being able to call the police...

      Even that could cause problems for passers-by, although prisons probably don't have too many of them.

      1. Richard 22
        Thumb Down

        Re: Jammin'

        Some prisons certainly have passers by - some being pretty much in the middle of residential areas. Wakefield prison for example. Having Pico/Femto cells which all phones within the walls exclusively saw, and none of the phones outside could see would be a pretty awesome trick.

        1. Roland6 Silver badge

          Re: Jammin'

          .Having Pico/Femto cells which all phones within the walls exclusively saw, and none of the phones outside could see would be a pretty awesome trick.

          Simple install the Pico/Femto cell inside the Faraday cage!

      2. M Gale

        Re: Jammin'

        Jamming would be a problem for all the legitimate phone users, like prison staff.

        Why do prison staff need their mobile phone while on duty?

        No, really. When I was working for UK Census 2001, I was not allowed within a country mile of anything like sensitive information with a mobile phone. Even pens had to be approved in case they contained a recording device. There are some types of employment where extra restrictions do apply, and I think "prison officer" really should be one of them.

        That or just ban everyone from having a teeny phone. Yeah, that makes sense.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Jammin'

          Technically jamming a phone signal is illegal, and only a few buildings are granted a licence to jam.

          Such as the buildings that were used by Project Atlas.....although they also had armed army guards that would search you for shits and giggles.

          Oh how we laughed when they realised that you didn't need a recording device, just a pair of step ladders and you could see through the windows........I laughed so hard that I was asked to leave........

        2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

          Re: Jammin'

          Why do prison staff need their mobile phone while on duty?

          That's a valid point, and it certainly would be surprising if it were permitted to a warder on duty, but prisons have administration staff, break rooms, etc. It would seem harsh to require all staff to cut themselves off as soon as they go through the gate.

          1. Jamie Jones Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: Jammin'

            "but prisons have administration staff, break rooms, etc. It would seem harsh to require all staff to cut themselves off as soon as they go through the gate."

            I, and I'm sure many others here, have worked before in secure areas where phones are not allowed. It's not unreasonable to expect similar restrictions in a prison environment.

            There's nothing stopping the break rooms and offices from having fixed line phones....

            How on earth did we manage before mobiles? :-)

      3. Evan Essence

        Re: Jammin'

        > Better to install pico/femto cells

        Far too technological and subtle. The authorities want a solution where they can throw their weight around, just... because.

      4. personal use
        Thumb Up

        Re: Jammin'

        Jammin, i totally agree with you.

        This solution is really the best. For above a year i m looking for devices that can can do that job. Have you got any suggestions?

    3. Bogle

      Re: Jammin'

      Just to pick a single point, it's not impossible to stop drugs getting into prison. Just look at how it's managed by the Health Service in the secure mental hospitals where you *really* don't want the inmates self-medicating. It's more due to a lack of resources and, reputedly, motivation. Medicated prisoners aren't as much bother, generally.

      Same for mobes, really. Just a lack of resources to tackle the problem and a tacit recognition that it's really not that huge an issue.

      1. James Micallef Silver badge

        Re: Jammin'

        " It's more due to a lack of resources and, reputedly, motivation."

        It's a lack of resources in the sense that guards' pay is probably shit and some of them will happily top it up for closing an occasional eye or two.

        It's true that jamming might have unintended consequences outside prison walls, but really the jamming is only reqlly required in the internal areas of the prisons - cells, canteen, laundry, shower etc. In the outside areas, jamming would have a lot of spillover to the outside but should not be needed because that's where you'll have more guards actually looking at the prisoners.

        At least, that's my take from the various fictitious TV/ movie prisons I've seen. Are real prisons anything like what we get to see on Prison Break? Or Porridge?

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Jammin'

      The prevalence of drugs in prison is almost certainly because, whatever the Home Secretary might think, prison officers realise that they keep the prisoners quieter than they would otherwise be.

    5. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Jammin'

      "What's so hard about installing electronic jamming equipment to make whatever phones do find their way in, useless?"

      Stopping the jamming signal at the prison walls. (Same argument applies to using jammers in movie theatres but they can be designed to not leak RF)

      New Zealand installed jammers in most prisons and neighbours have been complaining loudly ever since.

  6. ratfox
    Facepalm

    Not gonna work

    1) even if they are made illegal, prisoners will still get them.

    2) making devices illegal to the general population just so prisoners cannot get them is retarded.

  7. Nigel Brown

    As far as I'm aware..

    drugs are illegal, doesn't stop them finding their way into prisons does it? Hand guns are illegal, still plenty on the street.

    As has been said before, the only surefire solution is to render the phones useless by crippling the signal.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: As far as I'm aware..

      So just have the prisons put up in teh building iI work in, problem solved they'll never get signal again.

    2. Uffish

      Re: crippling the signal

      I've been in several hotels (real ones at motorway service stations) that completely blocked cellphone coverage inside the building but didn't interfere with cellphone use 5 meters from the building. Mind you they were new buildings and I haven't yet tried to disable whatever it is that blocks the signal, might be a tougher problem in an existing prison.

      1. Evan Essence

        Re: crippling the signal

        Faraday cage? Metal tinting on the windows?

        1. hplasm
          Coat

          Re: crippling the signal

          Bars on the windows?

      2. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: crippling the signal

        "I've been in several hotels (real ones at motorway service stations) that completely blocked cellphone coverage inside the building but didn't interfere with cellphone use 5 meters from the building"

        Moden building techniques work quite well at shielding rooms. Foil-backed plasterboard makes a pretty good radio-stopper, as does metal-filmed double glazing.

        It's a real bugger for trying to make wireless coverage work reliably.

    3. Ben Norris

      Re: As far as I'm aware..

      Drugs don't have to give off a signal to work though. A few mobile signal detectors around the prison and you can triangulate exactly where phones are being used and go confiscate them. Or would that be far too easy?

  8. Natalie Gritpants

    Where do I get one?

    Motorola F3 owner here but they've stopped production and sometimes it's a bit of a squeeze in the pocket with a set of car/house keys.

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Second hand from a prison yard sale?

      BTW: What is the name of the counterpart to SOCA who investigate humorous crimes?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Second hand from a prison yard sale?

        don't know who investigates humorous crimes, but frivolous crimes are the remit of a bunch of miserable FOCAs.

    2. Alan Edwards
      Happy

      Re: Where do I get one?

      eBay. I just put "world's smallest mobile" (or whatever the text was in the BBC article) into the search.

      They all seem to have Bluetooth, FM radio and a Micro-SD slot, probably because they are all based on the same chipset. Sorely tempted by the flip one based on the BMW key.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't jam the signal

    Install some bigass speakers and have loops of speaker wire located about the place.

    The aim is to make it so that you can locate who has the phone (just triangulation based on signal strength at the coils) but ALSO so any mobile phone use at night keeps everyone awake through that annoying interference you hear on a car stereo. A couple of nights of that at an annoyingly loud volume and suddenly mobile phone users are at risk of a shanking so demand drops. If they're not beaten/stabbed by the prisoners you know they're a man of importance too and worth further investigation!

  10. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. wowfood

      Re: The question is:

      Because there are a number of cases already where people have been sent to prison for stalking / rape / assault, and then gone on to contact the victims via phone / letter / email, just to let them know that even behind bars they can get to them.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. nichomach

          Re: The question is:

          Because the prison service get a kickback from the monopoly supplier of prison phones, calls on which cost about 5 times the cost of a call from a payphone outside.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: kickback from the monopoly supplier of prison phones

            Do they still run that dreadful scam in NHS hospitals?

            1. VinceH

              Re: kickback from the monopoly supplier of prison phones

              "Do they still run that dreadful scam in NHS hospitals?"

              Well I was happily using my phone a lot while in hospital for a few days last November.

              However, that was in the far corner of a ward, and there were no significant medical gizmos especially close to me while I was there, other than when they wheeled around the machine to check patients' pulses, bp, etc.

            2. Alan Brown Silver badge

              Re: kickback from the monopoly supplier of prison phones

              Some try to, but the NHS has already said phones are fine.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: The question is:

          That's collective punishment, isn't it?

          That's the whole idea of prison, punishment for doing something bad.

          You don't send a kid to his room so he can play on his smartphone, call fred down the road and chat, or go on the internet to play videogames. You send them there as punishment, take away the smartphone, and unplug them from the network. It's not that they have no access to phones at all, it's that they only have access via the approved of means.

    2. MainframeBob

      Re: The question is:

      To prevent a convict from giving orders to his hirelings that fill in for him so his drugbuissines can run?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The question is:

        Couldn't we just cut their hands off?

    3. keylevel Silver badge

      Re: The question is:

      Because they use them to continue running "The Business".

  11. John H Woods Silver badge

    Simple solution ...

    ... just ban crime, then nobody will have to go to prison in the first place.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: Simple solution ...

      That already exists, but it is only valid for MPs, certain business people, some members of the police force and anyone on David Cameron's payroll.

  12. Chris G

    There is too much Democracy

    So a relatively small percentage of the population is doing naughty things with tiny phones and the fuzz and the morons in government, in order to save the prison staff having to look in unpleasant places for these phones decide to ban them?

    Regardless of what the rest of the population may think; 'Don't like that! Ban it!'

    Some of the most serious organised crime is against the people.

    If the prison authoriies would like some hints on creating telecoms dead zones I am sure Spanish operators will be able to give them some hints as they are experts at it!

    As TechnicalBen says a Faraday Cage should do it, there is already a lot of metal and wire around prisons, electrify it.

  13. tkioz

    So law abiding citizens are being punished because of the actions of criminals? Yeah that's right... NOT.

    I'm all for mobile signal blocking (god only knows why they didn't do it before hand) in prisons, but banning tiny phones because of one segment of the population is just nuts.

    Honestly there are a lot of places I would accept blank mobile phone jamming, it needs to be made easier to legally do.

    Maybe leave open one channel for 'approve' phones for people with demonstrable need (doctors on call for example), but they need to prove it to get their phone working in jamming zones.

    1. JaitcH
      Thumb Up

      Schematics for jamming cell handsets are all over the InterNet and are on sale for about Fifty Pounds.

      1. tkioz
        Unhappy

        Yeah and they are also illegal as hell (at least where I live)... One cinema wanted to jam mobiles and got into a fair bit of trouble over it.

    2. BrownishMonstr
      Joke

      But when you think about it, phones are getting bigger. Who wants small phones these days?

      1. Alan Edwards

        Me, for a start. On a smartphone, 4-inch is about right, the 5-inch plus ones are definitely too big.

  14. JaitcH
    WTF?

    "electrically unsafe ... they could cause fires and injure ... through electrocution."

    What sort of 'engineer' do they have to give them this advice?

    Since when has ANY cell handset, ever used a voltage that is hazardous? Next they will threaten inmates with charges for using unapproved radio equipment - that sure will make them shake in their boots.

    And where does Cameron and Company suddenly get all these powers to destroy computers and ban things from sale?

    It's high time Plod and ACPO got back to REAL crime fighting - they have enough crooks in the ranks of Plod to keep them busy for years.

    1. Great Bu

      Re: "electrically unsafe ... they could cause fires and injure ... through electrocution."

      I dunno, reading the descriptions on Amazon for some of these handsets and none are described as 'Arseproof' or even 'Arse Resistant'.......

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "electrically unsafe ... they could cause fires and injure ... through electrocution."

        There is a company called Durex that makes special covers for them.

    2. Suricou Raven

      Re: "electrically unsafe ... they could cause fires and injure ... through electrocution."

      They don't have the power to ban tiny phones. That would require an act of Parliament. But there are certain legal tricks that can be used to achieve an 'indirect' ban. In this case, by noticing that these tiny phones are often in violation of trademark laws or don't have all the legal boxes ticked on their electrical safety checks - so a ban is simply a matter of strictly enforcing existing laws in an area which would otherwise be considered too trivial to bother with.

      Another example could be seen in the national porn filtering scheme. Forcing the ISPs legally to block pornography would, again, require an act of Parliament - that'd be a long, awkward process, but it could be done. A simpler way is to just threaten them with it: Cameron just stated that he doesn't *want* to go through the legislative hassle, but he will if the ISPs don't do as he asks voluntarily. As they would rather have a filtering system they can run themselves than have to deal with likely arbitrary and confusing guidelines from an act, it's in their best interests to give in.

      This type of political sneaking is much more common in the US due to their split-layer government. The US congress, state congress, local officials and the courts are often pushing contradictory agendas and constantly trying to find ways to outmaneuver each other.

    3. Don Jefe

      Re: "electrically unsafe ... they could cause fires and injure ... through electrocution."

      The kind of engineer that thinks symbolically destroying a few HDD's will prevent access to secret information.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "electrically unsafe ... they could cause fires and injure ... through electrocution."

      They have to be charged, probably quite frequently, and I very much doubt that the Chinese import very small chargers have any kind of safety testing. The "CE" on a lot of that stuff just stands for "Chinese Export".

      The chargers have to be connected to 230V somehow, and the rest follows.

  15. chris 17 Silver badge

    Lost liberty for the rest of us too?

    So because prisoners have a desire for something small and shiny, the powers that be think its acceptable to stop the public at large getting access to them. What next, non prisoners banned from buying iPhones, going to festivals, concerts or football matches because prisoners can't?

    Sounds like the nonsense from those advocating dumbing down exams or banning competitive sports so that 'all kids are equal'

    Prisons are there to restrict the liberty if criminals, not the public at large!

  16. Gwaptiva

    Ban spoons!

    They have been used by prisoners to dig tunnels...

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Does this mean my old Motorola v3688

    Is now illegal?

  18. Dr_N
    Thumb Up

    The ban stick

    If there is a problem, don't try and resolve it, just hit something with the ban stick!

    Works every single time!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fire in the hole!

    If these things are electrically unsafe, then they could cause a real pain in the arse.

    Bummer.

  20. Ross K Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    That'll Teach 'Em

    Yeah, prosecute prisoners found in possession of mobile phones... I'm sure they'll be quaking in their boots.

  21. codejunky Silver badge

    ???

    Wasnt there a plan to jam phones in prisons? What happened to that plan?

    I thought prison was punishment for those inside. Not the reason to punish the outside

  22. Frankee Llonnygog

    But can you get a phone ...

    ... in the shape of a fork?

    1. Frankee Llonnygog

      Re: But can you get a phone ...

      Given the story context, excuse me if I don't say thanks for the thumbs up

  23. Timfy67
    Big Brother

    Wouldn't it be easier...

    Forgive my ignorance if there is a good reason not to but... wouldn't it be easier to simply block the mobile coverage rather than try to keep phones out?

    http://www.signaljammerblocker.com/adjustable-cell-phone-gps-wifi-jammer-blocker-us-version-p-448.html

    (not affiliated to the above link... first hit on google!)

    1. Not That Andrew
      Thumb Up

      Re: Wouldn't it be easier...

      This was what I was wondering, and I was about to post about. it's a sad reflection on our government that their first reaction to any issue is legislation. Cell phone jammers are not exactly esoteric devices.

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Re: Wouldn't it be easier...

        Cell phone jammers are not exactly esoteric devices.

        No, but getting the jamming signal to work perfectly up to the prison walls, and stop dead right there, requires some pretty esoteric physics.

        1. Not That Andrew

          Re: Esoteric physics

          That's true, but surely you wouldn't be using one big-ass jammer but a whole bunch of smaller ones, which should make that problem smaller, I would assume.

  24. dan1980

    A typical government response.

    Being in Government would be an ace job - you'd never need subtlety, intelligence or even a working knowledge of the issues at hand or technology in use. All you is need is a big hammer do deal with all those problematic nails you keep seeing everywhere.

    The ineptitude of our various governments (no different in Aus) would make for truly amusing fare but for the fact that these monkeys have unprecedented control over our lives and seem infinitely more concerned with looking tough than with being effective.

    It'd be like if you took your car to the mechanic because you had a misaligned wheel and when you came to collect it they presented you with a scooter instead. When questioned they'd explain that the wheel was too difficult to fix so they sold you car to the scrap yard and that'll be $7,000 for the scooter, please.

  25. monkeyfish

    Is this a UK or US based article?

    Apparently in the UK these tiny mobes are causing some concern, but the reason for this is partly because a 15 minute call costs $17 from some US prison payphones, and that's a lot of laundry duty.

    So how much does it cost from a UK prison? Not as much as that I'll wager.

    1. Argh

      Re: Is this a UK or US based article?

      2 weeks ago, the FCC put a cap on prison call rates of $3.75 for 15 minutes, so very soon it will no longer be that much in the US either.

      Not sure about the UK, but I found an article from 2008 saying it's about 11p/minute and complaining that this was too high.

  26. This post has been deleted by its author

  27. Carl W

    I don't get it

    These are phones disguised to look like car remotes. Why would a prisoner need a car remote?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I don't get it

      Seems to be the obvious question nobody is asking.

      Would be better disguising a phone as a TV remote.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Asks retailers to stop sales"

    Ah, the standard British State method of compliance. "Be a pity if something happened to that Macbook Pro. Better just have a go yourself with the angle grinder." "Be a pity if you were stopped for 9 hours every time you went through an airport. Better just stop writing about things we don't want discussed."

    And now "Well, as we see it , everyone's a potential criminal, so it's just a matter of time before everyone spends time inside. As we don't allow phones inside, maybe best to stop their distribution them outside too."

    Where would we be without such thoughtful plods making up policy as they go?

  29. zooooooom

    Tiny!

    If they can't stop tiny mobes, does that mean they can't stop tiny lockpicks, files, and drugs? Oh dear, thats something of an admission...

  30. Pen-y-gors

    Car key fobs?

    So prisoners could have a phone disguised as a car key fob, which the screws apparantly wouldn't notice - errrm...why would a convict need a car key while in chokey? I'm sure it's not THAT easy to come and go. Traditionally one hides in the luggage space of a visiting bus, rather than driving ones own BMW.

  31. DrXym

    Law abiding criminals

    Criminals are criminals because they break the law. Banning a small phone is not going to stop them being used in prisons and it deprives their use for numerous other entirely legal applications. It's another thing entirely if particular phone models are unsafe, but that can be handled by trading standards laws.

    A smarter solution would be to install passive and active measures in jails to disrupt communication and identify where calls are originating from. The authorities could also compel phone networks to ensure that coverage in prisons is as weak as possible and to provide active assistance in monitoring and blocking calls/texts suspected to be from prisoners. e.g. if a particular IMEI is identified as originating from prison to install an intercept or block it.

  32. David Lewis 2
    Facepalm

    Rather than a Jammer...

    Why not install a cell site in every prison to ensure any calls are routed through it?

    Then all the calls from the prisoners (aka potential terrorists) can be captured & sent directly to GCHQ/NSA!

    Simples.

  33. ukgnome

    OOOH credit card sized.....

    http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/micro-phone-our-amazing-device-is-now-available-with-bluetooth-4-0-ble-tracking--17

    For a cool device that is credit card sized....

    1. Evan Essence
      Thumb Up

      Re: OOOH credit card sized.....

      Nice.

  34. Arachnoid

    Alternately

    They could alternately scan for emei numbers within the building then have the local servers ban them within minutes.

  35. Robin Bradshaw

    Sigh

    One of the few cases where GCHQ should be intercepting and analysing calls to attempt to collect intelligence on criminal activities and they arent.

    Turn a blind eye to the phones and listen in and catch them out doing naughty things.

    The government really are as thick as pigshit when it comes to technology arent they?

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Coat

      Yeah, but it would seem that there are these pesky things called Rights where prisoners are concerned, and it would seem that governments are more concerned with the rights of people who have been locked up than the rights of people who haven't yet.

      Hey ! Maybe that's the solution ! Let's all get ourselves locked up, then they won't spy on us anymore !

      Hmm. Something tells me that won't be a good as it seems.

  36. mnestis
    Facepalm

    Diguised as key fobs?

    Are we in the habit of letting prisoners drive around in BMWs anyway? I think car keys would probably be considered suspicious.

    These devices are probably illegal under existing law anyway, because of the blatant TM infringement.

    This government legislation might well explain why Kirk was stuck with a huge brick of a communicator in the 23rd century. At least they managed to get it sorted for the 24th...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Diguised as key fobs?

      What was the film where the inmates restored a car? Lock Up wasn't it?

      Not sure if that is a common thing in the US.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thank Goodness for an Alert and Tech-Savvy British Government

    Phew! It's a good job the authorities are on top of (dangerous) new technology.

    I'm relieved that the government has quickly stepped in to ban these potentially dangerous devices. It'll make it much harder for the incarcerated to smuggle mobile phones into prisons. After all, there were 7,000 devices confiscated last year anyway, so we don't want mobile phone access in prison to move from relatively easy to totally ubiquitous. Oh, and to those that say people could simply board a cross-channel ferry, buy a bunch of phones on the continent, and then bring them back into the UK - get real. Ordinary people might do that, but criminals wouldn't because they're not clever enough.

    Well done David. The country salutes you and everybody else in the party.

  38. spencer

    Actually looks like a useful phone

    Does anyone have a link?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Actually looks like a useful phone

      Try a popular auction site and search for : keyfob mobile

      Lots of goodies there :)

  39. Moktu

    Thanks UK Gov

    Seeing that money is also smuggled into prisons, maybe you might want to look at bannng that too.

    As it is I've just ordered a Zini minature phone, because they look like cool little toys.

  40. Evan Essence

    The National Trading Standards Board has also asked British retailers to stop selling the tiny telephones. It also points out that such small devices are "electrically unsafe meaning they could cause fires and injure consumers through electrocution."

    The National Trading Standards Board is "a group of senior and experienced local government heads of trading standards representing all trading standards services across England and Wales. The Board was established by the Government to improve the enforcement of laws intended to tackle rogue traders operating both regionally and nationally who are causing harm to consumers and legitimate businesses."

    It also points out. So what was their main argument to British retailers? I mean, within the terms of their remit, of course. What was their main argument concerning consumer and business protection?

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why do prisoners need car keys?

  42. mark l 2 Silver badge

    What about all the watches with phones built in, surely they just as small as these car fob phones, i bet they wouldn't consider banning those especially if the rumored Apple iWatch appears as they wouldn't want to risk upsetting some big businesses will deep pockets for lawyers

    1. Evan Essence

      Anyone who remembers The Man From U.N.C.L.E. knows they have to ban pens as well. Open Channel D...

      Oh, and shoes too, of course, as Get Smart afficionados know.

  43. Simon Harris

    Ban anything...

    with rounded corners.

    Because they're much more comfortable to stick up your arse than something with sharp ones!

  44. Don Jefe

    Cutting Out the Middle Man

    If UK prison guards are anything like those here in the US they are the middlemen for shady internal transactions. If prisoners have their own phones the guards can't demand their cut and they lose their access to more blackmail information.

    Plus prisoners might need to speak with the OB/GYN of the guards the they impregnate:

    http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2013/04/29/inmate-charged-in-baltimore-prison-scandal-guard-he-impregnated-face-federal-judge/

    1. Don Jefe
      Happy

      Re: Cutting Out the Middle Man

      I just noticed the URL in the link I posted is terribly designed. The inmate did not impregnable the federal judges face.

  45. tony2heads
    Mushroom

    Key fobs??

    What use does a prisoner have for a key fob anyway?

    Anyway I suggest that many mobile phones can be fitted inside a 'Chatham Pocket"; tablets perhaps not.

    Icon - In case the batteries have a problem

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Key fobs??

      Exactly. But it requires thinking beyond the end of the nose to consider taking key fobs off prisoners rather than banning the sale, to anyone, of something that looks like a key fob, because it just might find its way to a prisoner.

    2. Alan Edwards
      Thumb Up

      Re: Key fobs??

      No sure if the people asking this question are serious, but here goes anyway...

      The phone has to be smuggled into the prison somehow, most likely by visitors. I'm guessing there are mobile phone bans in the visitors rooms, but no-one is going to look twice at a BMW remote on a keyring, even if you turn up in a '96 Corsa - could be for the wife's company 320d.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Meanwhile in a parallel move...

    the government has asked bakeries and supermarkets to ban the sales of large cakes.

    SOCA said " There have been several instances of prisoners receiving hacksaws and files transported inside sponge cakes, fruit cakes and in one case a battenberg".

    A spokesman for the institute of bakers said "We are now cooperating with authorities on this subject. We are looking to switch to croissants, donuts and french fancies in the short term which we are reliably informed can only contain snout and icing filling. In the long term we are looking to selling only pre-cut cakes in government defined dimensions."

    Mr. Kipling was not available for comment.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    am i the only one seeing this. Why the hell would prisoners need car keys in first place?

    1. Benjol
      Trollface

      Eh, no, by my reckoning, you're about the fourth or fifth

      1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

        Yup. And every one of them got a downvote.

        I wonder why ? It still is a valid question.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Coat

          Wondering why the downvote

          Maybe its prisoners protesting that they don't get cars to go with their keys.

          Or maybe some one is trying to fob us off when we ask this question.

          Don't all laugh at once. I'll get my coat

  48. Savvas X

    protection of interest

    This is just protecting the interest of the private company that is providing telephone services to inmates, at obscenely inflated rates. They can do this because of the captive [pun intended ] client base. Capitalism, not security. Security would be providing cell coverage with the capability of monitoring any call. But wait, they do that already to the general public ...

  49. Haku

    VERY VERY VERY LOW METAL CONTENT

    is a feature posted on the first eBay listing I clicked on, I wonder why they mention that... ;)

    I sorta want one now I know they exist.

  50. John Ruddy

    What about the obvious?

    Why dont they just block mobile signals within the prison grounds? Surely thats easier?

    Or do they want to make sure the prison guards can all stay on twitter?

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Megaphone

    There is a project to implement technical cell phone control in prisons - but it is not simple or trivial.

    The cost to faraday shield prisons would be huge and probably pointless - there are easy solutions to bypass physical shielding.

    Electronic methods are just as hard. Imagine the media outcry if members of the public outside the prison boundaries discovered that their calls had been monitored by prison officers or simply jammed due to security concerns. It is very hard to manage controlled RF coverage within a specific area - if environmental conditions change, then the covered zone could grow or shrink by large amounts. The same applies to RF triangulation - there are too many reflective surfaces and distorting materials to accurately localise a transmitting device quickly, and a simple external aerial on a wire would provide a prisoner enough time to disappear a phone somewhere secretive.

    However, there needs to be a legal framework for such communications control as well as the technical solution. Currently no jamming is legal - there needs to be some legal method for this to occur, even for the government.

    So the fastest approach to reduce the supply of these small phones are via the routes suggested - electrical safety and trademark law. It is intended to slow the supply of these devices _until_ technical measures can be taken to prevent the use of these phones in prisons.

    There is no requirement for staff or visitors in a prison to use mobile phones - goes with the territory.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about banning noisy motorcycle and car exhausts that ruin people's quality of life? Naa, didn't think so. Generates too much money for the UK motor industry.

  53. Stevie

    Bah!

    Isn't everyone overthinking the "problem"?

    Just squelch cell reception in the prison for Bell's sake!

    Gordon Bennet!

  54. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    One big problem

    A few years ago I read about a guy who was updating his Facebook status using an LED, homemade battery made from zinc, carbon and lemon juice and a momentary switch.

    On the Rx end was a simple telescope.

    Good luck blocking light, this only got detected because someone reported Morse code flashes from a particular prison window when driving past at night.

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about

    3G GPS trackers on a key fob, great for tracking down the scumbag that nicked the car...

  56. Smig

    "The National Trading Standards Board ... points out that such small devices are 'electrically unsafe meaning they could cause fires and injure consumers through electrocution.'"

    Another example of state sponsored Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt.

    Insurrection and revolution are an option.

  57. Stingy
    Facepalm

    Am I the only person who has noticed that prisoners don't have car keys, so disguising your phone as a set of keys isn't very logical.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like