back to article Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of users

Facebook has been defending its user metrics after some recent market reports unfavourably suggested that fatigue had set in for some of the 1.15 billion folk accessing the free content ad network. A representative at the company emailed its advertising partners – Facebook's real customers – with some smelly old stats from …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Peak Facebook ?

    *If* Facebook has reached the stage where it can no longer generate "new" accounts (despite spamming the hell of out non-Facebook friends of Facebookers) then it has to be able to demonstrate it can *effectively* leverage the existing userbase to prise open their wallets.

    Welcome to the late 1990s ....

    1. Busby
      Joke

      Re: Peak Facebook ?

      Don't be ridiculous as Zuckerberg keeps telling investors exponential growth can be maintained they just need to partner up with active SETI.

    2. LarsG
      Meh

      True

      Facebook does have s*it loads of users, but they all ignore the ads.

      Zuck needs to think about this, the more the ads become 'in your face' the less the user will like it.

      He should be caressing his customers not sticking a poker up their ar*ses.

  2. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of users

    Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of Lusers

    There: Fixed it for them

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of users

      "Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of Lusers"

      More that Facebook has loads of subscribers but no idea how many deal with adverts in some way or another.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of users

      s**tloads of fake accounts ...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of users

        S**tloads of s**t.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of users

      My dog can't read so the ads are useless to him.

  3. Big_Ted

    Ahhh But

    Is that 20 Million individuals logging in a day or 1 million users logging in 20 times a day.

    FB needs to tell us how many users log in a day not how many logins there are.....

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Ahhh But

      Given that the vast majority of web users will never explicitly log out I think you get an idea.

      Also: "daily mobile active users in the UK stood at 20 million" seems to pretty clearly state 20 million users. If I login to my bank 3 times a day I'm still one user.

      Telling you how many logins is not useful at all, I haven't logged in for weeks but I load the page most days.

  4. AMB-York Silver badge

    Mobile users

    Does the figure for mobile uses include those who interact with the site, or does it also include those with a facebook app that automatically logs them in each day?

  5. Dave 32
    Unhappy

    And, how many of those (L)users actively suppress the ads, or passively ignore them? How many of those users have disposable income to blow on the advertised goods, versus being 12 year olds spoofing their age, and with no money? How many of those (L)users have the attitude that "I'd never buy anything from a company that advertises on a site like this!"

    Dave

    P. S. How long before FB succumbs to the dark side, and starts allowing pr*n images, to attract even more (L)users?

    1. liam burrows

      Adblock Plus

      Adblock Plus makes Facebook usable for most people.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Adblock Plus

        "Adblock Plus makes Facebook usable for most people."

        ... who use facebook. For the majority who don't use it, there's nothing that could possibly make it useable.

  6. Amorous Cowherder

    What do they class as active? Logging in? Pulling pages? I'm sure some people have FB apps set to on full auto-login and auto-update, doesn't mean they actually used the site as such. Most important for the ad-men is to know if people actually looked at the page content. Auto-logins and auto-updates are useless to the ad-men trying to sell ad-space to their clients.

    1. fandom

      Clicking an 'I like it' button anywhere in the internet probably qualifies.

  7. Chicken Marengo

    Free content ad network?

    Get a new proof reader, you appear to have transposed a couple of words there

  8. dssf
    Joke

    They May be Cooking the Books, Baking in New Users

    They May be Cooking the Books, Baking in New Users

    In a bid for a seminally novel way of boosting new business.

    This could be a "Corporate E-Z-Bake Oven" to profits....

    Adding "gusto" and "spunk" to the growth, synergies, and low level of duplications, and eggstreamly high "active node count", hahaha

    http://mashable.com/2011/08/01/facebook-expecting-option/

    Now, to keep the daily ticker/status higher, they'll offer to select, upscale parents a "FLOGIN -- Fetal Login" apparatus, to "display 'baby's' heartbeat and love of Facebook..."

    Talk about being "hooked at birth", hahaha. But, inactive users will internally be spoken of as "denoded", "lost connections", "latent reconnects", and "delayed packets" in the "stream of consciousness that is OURS".

    First, babies were mostly "accidents". Silly people are "hatched". If the spawn of Satan, dropped out of a jackal's ass, hahaha. Now, babies will be "uploaded" then "downloaded".

    Maybe Facebook will design and patent a premature "Borg Maturation Chamber", and Palo Alto will be the neural plexus? Facebook will "link and connect" people from -- not cradle to grave , but -- fertilization to decomposition...

    Maybe some enter, prising, uninvited, un-end-vaded Swedish Swimmers will sneak in some "ball cutters" at the company's next all-male swim fest?

    1. dssf
      Joke

      Re: They May be Cooking the Books, Baking in New Users

      Oh, in that "vein", fb can claim "we have shOtloads of new, blank slate users coming down the shoot, hahaha

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