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back to article ULTRASONIC BOLLOCK BLASTERS help Hawkmoth battle The Bat

In a development whose scientific importance would be difficult to exaggerate, it has been discovered that hawk moths emit powerful ultrasonic pulse beams from their genitals in order to intefere with the sonar senses of predatory bats hunting them. As any fule kno, bats emit high-frequency sound pulses when hunting in …

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  1. frank ly

    Lateral thinking

    I would think that small animals would be able to produce ultrasonic farts, because of small size, resonant cavities and structures, etc. Has this been investigated?

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  2. Gray Ham Bronze badge
    Pint

    Known this for years ...

    It works! I use moth balls in my wardrobe, and I have *never* had any bats in there.

    Thanks, Lewis, this cheered me up no end, just in time for the weekend!

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    1. Ken Y-N
      Reply Icon
      Alien

      ...whilst I have kept bats in my bollocks

      And moths have been the least of my worries.

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    2. Graham Marsden
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      @Gray Ham - Re: Known this for years ...

      Or the bats have taken one look and thought "Jeez, if those are the moth's balls, how big is the bloody moth?!"

      (Badoom-Tish!)

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      1. JoshOvki
        Reply Icon
        Coat

        Re: @Gray Ham - Known this for years ...

        It works for lions too!

        (Mine is the one with the moth balls in the pocket, you can't be too cautious)

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  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Wrong thread

    And there's me looking at the title and imagining a new super-villain terrorizing Gotham City.

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  4. Natalie Gritpants

    "Not sure how the females do it"

    Once knew a lady whose fanny farts could rattle windows. She was batty as well.

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    1. Eddy Ito
      Reply Icon

      Re: "Not sure how the females do it"

      I would think that with females at least the source would be obvious even if the mechanism isn't known. Surely the sound emanates from the G spot roughly seven octaves above middle C.

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      1. The last doughnut
        Reply Icon

        Re: "Not sure how the females do it"

        According to my extensive research, the shrieking sound is emitted from an orifice about 0.5m up from the G-spot

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  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    new ultra sonic anti-eavesdropping pants

    Come and get them! Available for all kinds of bollocks, new tinfoil-lined ultrasonic anti-eavesdropping pants. They work absolutely wonderfully against NSA, CIA, GCHQ and all other pesky eavesdropping acronyms. Wear them on your bollocks or on your head for best results! Be a guaranteed hit with the ladies!

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  6. Chris G

    Nutsong

    Record this wonderful natural sound and modulate it down to audible levels, then mix it with some generic chillout music and sell it to the same hippiesthat buy whalesong ?music?.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Thumb Up

      Re: Nutsong

      add pan pipes and your onto a winner, ambient mothball vol.1

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    2. Rampant Spaniel
      Reply Icon

      Re: Nutsong

      If you can get anyone to buy a recording of a moth having a tommy tank I will be impressed! Get it on itunes and see how many sales you get.

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  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Finally ...

    ... a clear and unambigous proof of intelligent design after all.

    What else could the reason be?

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    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Uh, survival ?

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  8. LinkOfHyrule
    Happy

    What a load of old bollocks!

    You must be "bat shit" crazy to come up with an article such as this!

    Joking aside the headline does remind me of the Sunday Sport - now there was a newspaper! Except I think for legal reasons it wasn't actually published as an actual 'news' paper!

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    1. sabroni Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: for legal reasons it wasn't actually published as an actual 'news' paper!

      I remember it always having a "registered with the post office as a news paper" message on it somewhere. (Not sure why it registered with the post office, but surely I couldn't have made that up.....)

      There was a time ("double decker found on moon") when it was actually quite funny, before it just became the cheapest and least graphic of the grot mags....

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      1. LinkOfHyrule
        Reply Icon
        Pint

        My interesting fact abut it is obviously completely made afterall! Fitting really!

        I have only ever read it the once back in the 90s - found a copy in my dad's mag rack! I remember thinking "I have never seen so many adverts for sex lines outside of Soho phone boxes!"

        I was also reminded of the Sport earlier this week watching the DVD of Bottom Live and seeing Eddie "reading" it!

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      2. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: for legal reasons it wasn't actually published as an actual 'news' paper!

        Because IIRC there was a lower postage rate for printed stuff that was registered as a newspaper with the good old PO - you just had to put "printed paper - reduced rate" on the address and ensure that there was enough sticking out of the wrapper (usually rolled up) to be checked. As it was cheaper than letter rate, slipping a few pages of correspondence between the pages was not unknown ...

        But that was a long, long time ago.

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  9. Chris King
    Coat

    Natural ECM ?

    Not so much "Wild Weasel", more "Wild Weevil" ?

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  10. Jefe Mixtli

    A plea to Mother Nature.

    Moths: Hey, we're getting tired of being eaten by bats!

    Mother Nature: What do you want me to do about it?

    Moths: We want ultrasonic, sonar-jamming TESTICLES!!

    Mother Nature: DONE!

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    1. Don Jefe
      Reply Icon
      Happy

      Re: A plea to Mother Nature.

      I figure it must have been more of a poorly defined feature request type thing.

      - We need something to stop bats from eating us.

      : How do you want to do that?

      - I don't know dammit, you're supposed to be the tech guy. Figure it out.

      : Ok... We can get something out for the next generation, but it'll probably be bollocks.

      - Whatever, just do it.

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh, I'm uppper upper crust, high society

    God's gift to ballroom notoriety,

    And I always fill my ballroom - the event is never small

    The social pages say I've got the biggest balls of all

    (because if AC/DC cannot jam bat's sonar I don't know what can....)

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  12. Kubla Cant

    Disappointing

    I expected "ultrasonic bollock blasters" to be something the moths used to zap the bats bollocks. I pictured the bats flying away with their legs (if any) crossed.

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  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Chiropteran...

    This particular term is used in a number of Japanese Manga / Anime series, notably Blood: The Last Vampire, for vampire-type creatures - no doubt because of the link between bats and vampires in many branches of vampire lore.

    So, based on some of the previous comments, we have to ask whether this discovery going to lead to the creation of a new vampire myth - that playing with yourself will protect you from becoming a tasty snack for nocturnal visitors of the fanged persuasion? :p

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  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Do moth balls hang low?

    Do they swing them to and fro?

    Can they tie 'em in a knot?

    Can they tie 'em in a bow?

    Can they throw 'em o'er their shoulder like a Continental soldier?

    Can moths do the double shuffle when their balls hang low?

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