back to article First 'adult' app for Google Glass planned 'within days'

It had to happen. An app developer at the more risqué end of the market tells El Reg it has already started developing for Google Glass after getting its hairy palms on some of the new hardware and will have an application ready before the end of this week. "We should have something out in a couple of days," MiKandi cofounder …

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  1. Cliff

    Chat roulette just got scarier!

    Then again, if someone wants to take the power of a phone (best of breed currently have quad core 1.6GHz or so) and make an augmented reality nudifier, I could see there being a market for that...

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: Chat roulette just got scarier!

      >augmented reality nudifier

      The TSA and major airports have been using them for quite some time already. Unfortunately for the security agents they see what people actually look like.

      1. mmeier

        Re: Chat roulette just got scarier!

        The face of the guy manning one was great. He had a limited view of the people going in and first in the scanner was a really attractive female (Think Jessica Biel). He was basically slobbering. A few persons behind came a slighly "bigger" guy (Think Fat Bastard from Austin Powers)

    2. SuccessCase

      Re: Chat roulette just got scarier!

      A can of worms has just been opened. Not sure it's going to help the Google cause if when you are walking through an airport and someone wearing Google Glass looks at your children, you are unsure if they have an app loaded that is scanning faces in the hope of identifying hook-ups. Regardless of the practical risk (which is in all honestly likely near zero), it still nevertheless crosses the creepy line.

  2. ChrisM

    I can has...

    X-ray specs?

  3. MrDamage Silver badge
    Coat

    There is

    a (f)app for that.

    I'll get my coat. Its the one with the kleenex and moisturising cream in the pocket.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: There is

      Careful leaving that lying around. Someone might put some Deep Heat in the tube of moisturising cream...

      1. Jedit Silver badge
        Joke

        "Someone might put some Deep Heat in the tube of moisturising cream..."

        That's OK - the cream is for his elbow.

  4. Simon Harris

    Male pornstar app

    Maybe an app that detects when the gyros measure a pitch of about -90 degrees (all relative to posture, of course) and warps the image presented in the glass to magnify the lower centre area.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: 'when the gyros measure a pitch of about -90 degrees'

      Surely all the chips would fall out?

      [Does it show I'm counting down to my hols?]

  5. Herbert Fruchtl
    Paris Hilton

    Adult app

    Am I the only one who thought "Microsoft Excel"?

    PH for no reason whatsoever.

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Joke

      Re: Adult app

      Actually you can do rude things with a spreadsheet - add together a column of 69s for example!

    2. Crazy Operations Guy

      Re: Adult app

      I saw a macro someone had made that used an Excel spreadsheet as a photo viewer by making all the cells 1px by 1px with no borders, it would then color in each of the cells to actually print out the image. Just give it some porn and there you go...

  6. pewpie
    IT Angle

    Google Glass?

    Oogle Arse.

    1. GrahamT
      Coat

      Re: Google Glass?

      Better yet, drop the first two letters of each word:

      Go gl

      ogle ass

      1. pewpie
        Thumb Down

        Re: Google Glass?

        Better eh.. Maybe better in your yank-owned psyche.. But please don't attempt to infect mine with such trans-atlantic tripe.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    The Christening

    Welcome aboard Google Glass! You're officially "Internet Ready"!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Accesssories

    Couldn't this company make a range of useful attachments... such as a strap to keep them on your face (like rock climbers etc wear)..... I am sure reg readers can come up with other attachment ideas on their own.

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Re: Accesssories

      Yup - give the app, a miniature fan to stop it from steaming up..

      1. Simon Harris

        Re: Accesssories

        and image stabilization in the camera/video overlay to cut down on the motion blur when you're being a bit vigorous!

  9. dssf

    hook in some servos so the

    RealDolls can prance around in full animatronix glory before the your-ass-is-glass google glasses.

    RealDolls can be made more fun by manufacturing them with "hidden" birthmarks, scars, pimples, and other "easter eggs" so that wearers of Google Glasses can "hunt" for the marks.

    OTOH, Google Glasses might come in handy for certain types of surgeons and even for obstetricians. The plumbing, wiring, and entertainment circuits can all be one.

  10. LinkOfHyrule
    Paris Hilton

    Glass can also enhance a couple's foreplay

    There was a time when it was only certain kinds of specially shaped glass objects that could do that!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Glass can also enhance a couple's foreplay

      Imagine what wearing Google Glasses and socks could do.

      1. thefutureboy

        Re: Glass can also enhance a couple's foreplay

        It's business, it's business time!

  11. Steve Brooks
    Paris Hilton

    new technology

    Don't really see this argument as valid, yes porn is often the front driver of new technology use, but surely this doesn't qualify as new technology? It's just old technology all wrapped up nicely. When few people were using computers and online payments and etc the old dear from down the road still caught the bus to the shops to purchase her unmentionables, now she justs orders them online to avoid the embarrasment of displaying her intimate stuff in front of that 15yo checkout guy. The technology has become mainstream, it's not new by any means, and the mass of ordinary users is using it for ordinary things.

    Now full lifelike 3D holograms? Yes I can see the porn mad jumping onto that....we not literally of course, you will fall through, but it's likely that porn will be the ultimate driver behind the holodeck, screw this accident investigtion, picnic's, old serial re-enactments you see on start trek, we all know the first thing you do when you get your hands on a holodeck is fire up the entire membership of the beach volleyball association and leap in hands akimbo!

    Paris just because...I mean it's a fricking holodeck, why not?

    1. Steve Brooks

      Re: new technology

      Yes yes I know, that was slightly sexist, I realised that after posting it, it's not only men who view porn!

      1. Raumkraut

        Re: new technology

        > Yes yes I know, that was slightly sexist, I realised that after posting it, it's not only men who view porn!

        And it's not only women who play volleyball, you know...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: new technology

      "Paris just because...I mean it's a fricking holodeck, why not?"

      Taste!

      I would not stick anything of mine anywhere near. It'd come out more sticky than it went in!

      We know where THATS been.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: new technology

      An acquaintance of mine gave up her normal job to work full time in the porn industry. No sign of much new technology she tells me apart from some applications of iPhone and iPad.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: new technology

      "screw this accident investigtion, picnic's, old serial re-enactments you see on start trek"

      You should get yourself down to Quark's

  12. peter 45
    Happy

    Let me guess

    A hi-tech version of the 'x-ray' specs to see through clothing that used to be advertised 30 years ago.

  13. This post has been deleted by its author

  14. Richard Wharram

    Wife enhancer app v0.1

    Takes off a few pounds and a few years and also comes with extensions to the Glasses arms which wrap around and into the ears to attenuate the distracting yabber.

    1. GitMeMyShootinIrons

      Re: Wife enhancer app v0.1

      I'd buy that for a dollar!

      1. Richard Wharram

        Re: Wife enhancer app v0.1

        69p actually.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Wife enhancer app v0.1

          Mummy hears what daddy doesn't say.

          Daddy doesn't hear what mummy says.

  15. frank ly

    "While they may crack the whip ..."

    I'm working on an app which includes that sort of thing.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A better use of Google Glass

    What if we compel every single idiot who tells us that "we should have nothing to hide if we're honest, law abiding citizens" to wear one 24/7 for a month, hooked up to a website that makes what they see and hear available for all?

    Given that Google's Schmidt is one of the loudest voices in that corner, I think he should have been doing this already. I mean, a more perfect beta test is hardly possible, and if that doesn't creep out anyone who originally believed that "nothing to hide" meme they don't *deserve* any privacy.

    It may also provide imagery that will put people off porn for life, but I digress :)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    X-ray?

    X-ray specs?

    As Frank Skinner used to say "I don't need x-ray specs to look at the bones in my hand, after a couple of days everyone will be able to see the bones in my hand".

  18. Nanners
    Childcatcher

    So over it already.

    You gotta be some kind of ass to walk around like that.

  19. Teiwaz

    Peril Sensitive Sunglasses? ala HHGTTG

    Somebody should put together an app that tints the google glasses on detection of anything the user might find offensive, that way all those overly touchy people will no longer have any reason to complain.

    'Find your neighbours actions/religion/sexual proclivities offensive - There's an app for that!!'

    Maybe a set that detects if you're feeling depressed and give the world a nice rosey pink tint.

    1. Steven Raith
      Thumb Up

      Re: Peril Sensitive Sunglasses? ala HHGTTG

      Dude, I think you just created the template for the Daily Mail Glasses app!

      Steven R

    2. John H Woods Silver badge

      Re: Peril Sensitive Sunglasses? ala HHGTTG

      Did you miss the Guardian's April Fools joke this year? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EceOlpgJk_c. 100 seconds in.

  20. El Andy
    Joke

    Lets face it, we all knew Google Glass wearers were predominantly going to be a bunch of pretentious w*nkers anyway. So pretty much target market.

  21. Matthew 17

    This could get all a bit 'Strange Days'

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yaXPx6xWEQ

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      Re: This could get all a bit 'Strange Days'

      Hopefully without the "guro/snuff" parts.

  22. Salts

    Raspberry Pi Does it Cheaper :-)

    http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1f607z/owners_of_a_raspberry_pi_what_do_you_use_it_for/ca7an5w

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What stupidness

    Hey if you're dumb enough to buy this crap, you deserve to get fleeced.

  24. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    I, for one, support this opening of new markets!

  25. ItsNotMe
    Coat

    Way to go Jennifer...

    From LinkedIN:

    "Previously served as marketing manager and PR of InnerVibe, Inc., specializing in adult sexual health products. InnerVibe is a brand that believes in enforcing a positive and healthy outlook on sexuality. Our line up of pleasure products are designed specifically to be female and couple friendly and advocate intimate, natural pleasure.

    InnerVibe advocates a positive approach to sensual adventures through social media and community building on Facebook, Twitter and our InnerVibe website by bringing sensual discovery into everyday conversations."

    http://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifermcewen

    Mine's the one with the Velcro front closure.

  26. THECADMAN
    Coat

    Go Away

    Gives a whole new meaning to the term "Beer Goggles"

    Coat Obviously !!

  27. THECADMAN
    Coat

    Go Away

    Or should that be "Bare Googles"

    Coat Again !!

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