back to article Japanese firm lifts lid on Android-controlled toilet

Japan has been at the cutting edge of toilet design for decades and has one of the highest rates of smartphone penetration on the planet, so it’s perhaps fitting that it has now combined the two by introducing a hi-tech Android-powered loo which enables hands-free toilet action. Japanese lav-maker Lixil has unveiled the Satis …

COMMENTS

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  1. LaeMing
    Happy

    Choice of words!

    "Smartphone penetration" may not have been the best phrase to use in this context!

    1. LarsG
      Meh

      Better

      Better watch out for malware and viruses, the lid might close at a most inopertune time.....

      Or it might harvest your 'information' to sell at at a later date.

  2. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. jerry 4

    I was able to try this toilet out at Akihabara Expo 2012.

    After a long night partying with too much beer, sake and "expo girls", I played a very long game of Angry Turds on this baby.

  4. Khaptain Silver badge
    Happy

    Carefull

    Bring on Candid Camera when they have a secondary controller.

  5. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    "a bidet-like spray"

    Didn't watch the vid but does it finally come with a video targeting system to actually spray the part you want to spray?

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Re: "a bidet-like spray"

      You mean, for those that lack enough muscles to move *themselves* into the target zone?

      1. Ian Yates

        Re: "a bidet-like spray"

        Seriously? This is a remote controlled toilet and you think the idea of a targetting system for the spray is daft?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "a bidet-like spray"

          you think the idea of a targetting system for the spray is daft?

          You sit on a toilet, you're not glued to it. The problem with implementing a variable there is that it will be more often wrong than right, plus the fact that not everyone is enamoured from looking at themselves in that way..

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Argh..

    The first hacking of this app will up the jet power so it cleans all the way to your teeth..

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: Argh..

      That might actually prove to be very popular with the S/M crowd.....

    2. David Hicks
      FAIL

      Re: Argh..

      They're already relatively powerful. I made the mistake of standing in front of a loo with one of these jets, and as I was finishing my business I wondered "what does this button do?"

      A nozzle emerged from the rear of the bowl and sprayed up, out of the bowl and all over my shoes.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Argh..

        A nozzle emerged from the rear of the bowl and sprayed up, out of the bowl and all over my shoes.

        I must congratulate you. That's the most convoluted excuse for poor aim I've seen so far :).

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ah what a great topic

    It feels already like friday

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    G-Poo

    and now the evil-empire will know exactly what your bowel movements are, there is no escape ;-)

    Most likely though they'll just send you adds for hemorrhoid cream or imodium whilst you're on the lav.

  9. Dire Criti¢

    So now one can...

    ...catch a virus from a toilet seat!

  10. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    Does it have a button "Old Faithful"?

    If so, look for the Bergholt Stutley Johnson label

    1. Graham Dawson Silver badge

      Re: Does it have a button "Old Faithful"?

      Surely a BSJ would also be 150 feet tall and somehow made from bergamot and rice?

  11. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Joke

    I can't wait.....

    for the CRAPple version, the iPooed.

    I like the bidet option, It'll help keep your androids clean.

    If your phone crashes, will it take a core dump?

    1. Joe User
      Trollface

      Re: I can't wait.....

      Note from Apple's lawyers: We have a patent on shit.

  12. Horridbloke
    Thumb Down

    Open standards...

    This toilet should do HTML 5.

  13. Bomberb

    Just love this :-

    'iPhone users will have to wait a little longer to use the toilet as developers are still going through the motions on the iOS app.'

  14. AbortRetryFail
    Joke

    User accounts

    Using your phone as a user token is an advance on previous generations of toilets like this that had their own UI and required you to identify yourself. Which brought a whole new meaning to the term "logging on".

  15. frank ly

    "Wipe my arse."

    "I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that. You could try asking Siri."

  16. Jack Project

    On the Apple bog only certain turds are allowed.

  17. Ben Rosenthal
    Go

    If too many people drop their phones while using it, it might end up being a flash in the pan.

  18. Neill Mitchell

    Brings a whole new meaning to force close.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Errrr, "voice" recognition?

    I cannot wait to see what errors "voice" recognition might make....

    "OK, I'll call you MPPPRRRBBBBTTTT!"

  20. David Paul Morgan
    Mushroom

    reminds me of the punchline of an old joke...

    "Miss, Miss! Yoshi wants a f*rt but doesn't know the code number"

    (... and I once did drop my HTC Wizard in the sink and it took 2 weeks to dry out properly...)

  21. Bottle_Cap

    methinks

    El Reg just going through the motions in this article...

  22. Kubla Cant

    Anal-retentive

    a toilet diary feature to ... keep track of water and electricity bills

    Reduce your water and electricity* bills by cutting down on your craps. Now that's what I call anal-retentive.

    *As my current toilet is powered entirely by gravity, I don't see how I can reduce its electricity consumption.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It should remember user profiles and behave accordingly.

    Some like to gaze at their master piece before it gets devoured by the auto-flushers. (Most of these devices do auto-flush, BTW.)

  24. crayon

    @Evil Auditor

    The interface seems to allow you to control the aim on at least 1 axis (front-rear).

  25. crayon

    It seems the app allows you to keep a diary of the shape and colour of your turds as well. Someone must find this handy.

  26. Katie Saucey
    WTF?

    Wow

    I have no idea what half that video was trying to explain, but my soul is scared.

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