Eugene Kaspersky and the KGB man that never was

Bletchley Boffinry calling Kapersky Labs

"His motivation techniques are somewhat unusual. He owns a bone taken from a walrus penis which he used to jokingly wave around to inspire the troops carrying out the grunt work of anti-virus analysis during our visit to the firm's Moscow HQ in December 2003."

A Prime Incentive in Deed, indeed, Eugene/EU.gene. :-) AI QuITe Immaculate Conception.

And would you have a Passionate Interest in Virtual TelePortation, Eugene. A Jump/Jumper/Jumping Jack Flash into Quantum Leaping and Virtual Reality for Real Controls with Absolute Omniscient Powers that Be?

@ amanfromMars

>>That should of course be Kaspersky Labs

That should of course be your most exoteric (sic) message yet. What's up?

bit of a cliche

I don't read any paper regularly and The Guardian is a long way from perfect, but the Grauniad thing belongs to the days of hot metal typesetting - they're more likely to make the same mistake many others with spellcheckers do - use "roll" when they mean "role". And its still more intelligent than the Mail,Sun etc.

@Matt

"The Baculum is a unique bone found in the penis of most mammals. This bone aids in copulation when mates have only a short encounter and need to perform quickly. The Baculum is sometimes referred to a “hillbilly or mountain man toothpick” and can be utilized as a coffee stirrer. The largest Baculum in the mammal kingdom belongs to the walrus, which can reach a length of 30 inches."

So not only do they exist but you can also buy them:

http://www.skullsunlimited.com/baculums.html

I don't think I need to explain Paris on this one...

@Matt

Beer is indeed more popular in Russia than vodka. Vodka is traditionally drunk when friends visit, and is usually accompanied by pickled vegetables. While vodka is also the preferred choice amongst binge drinkers, beer is drunk at all times of the day by ordinary people. If you travel on the Moscow metro during the morning rush hour for instance, quite a few people will be having a bottle of beer on the way to work. Kiosks sell beer twenty four hours a day, and many people will have a bottle at lunch time or on the way home. The Moscow mayor has tried to enforce a ban on beer drinking for metro travellers, mostly for image reasons as we're not talking about people getting bladdered, but I'm not sure how effective it's been.

@Joe

Nearly there

"In the arctic, walrus penis have bone. In Kaspersky labs, walrus penis bone YOU!"

There is something not quite right...

...when your boss walks around the office boning everyone...

Seventh Heaven? IT's certainly Global Communications HQ.

"There is something not quite right......when your boss walks around the office boning everyone... By Anonymous Coward Posted Friday 15th February 2008 12:26 GMT .....

That must one for the Classics Library, El Reg. :-)

Nice One, AC, but you're obviously not looking at IT from the boss's perspective.

For Continuity.... and/or Change ..... and 4AI Change2 into Virtualised Perceptions

"Ah, he's still got it." ...By teacake Posted Friday 15th February 2008 14:33 GMT

IT's in the Genes, teacake. The Prequel for SQLs

a nummkullpudgeaghalftoomtch

what's the matter Neil, don't you read the guardian?

No-one ever says...

ftoomtch