back to article iPhone 5: the fab slab to grab

I have decided that the iPhone 5 is fantastic. Not that I own one, mind you. It’s just that the commentators slagging it off probably don’t own one either, so my ignorant opinion is just as valid as theirs. It is, of course, the tallest iPhone ever: OK, a bit of realism first: you can take hyperbole er… too far. A couple of …

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  1. eSeM

    Eh! WTF

    Desperate for news today?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Eh! WTF

      http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/

      Now tell us the maps app is anything but complete rubbish.

    2. Bob Vistakin
      Facepalm

      Re: Eh! WTF

      http://goo.gl/oy7Gr

      1. bdam
        FAIL

        Re: Eh! WTF

        Siri, do you have any examples of the dramatic effects global warming is having on the environment?

        http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/32188743730/apparently-belgrade-serbia-has-no-rivers

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Eh! WTF

      Yeah it's pageview whoring 101 - when in doubt, write an apple article. It doesn't even have to be good, fanbois will lap it up and haters will hate it. You can't go wrong!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    "As for the people complaining about the new Maps app, you’d think they’d never used the previous one, given how ignorant they are about how utterly rubbish it was. How anyone could use it to find out where they are or where they were going is a mystery. Invariably, it would indicate that I was walking along a street parallel to one I was actually on."

    Uhm, isn't that a case of the iPhones GPS not being able to figure out exactly where you are rather than the maps application not knowing where places are?

    1. JDX Gold badge

      >>Uhm, isn't that a case of the iPhones GPS not being able to figure out exactly where you are rather than the maps application not knowing where places are?

      Surely there is no excuse for GPS not getting your position to within 1m these days?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Quite so, but I gather from the article that the reporter is trying to say that Apple aren't as bad by pointing at "faults" in Google's map application. My point is that it's not the apps fault if the GPS can't hack it, that would be down to the iPhone.

      2. Adam T

        GPS

        According to iOS 6 Maps (on a 4S), I'm floating around a 100m area in a hot air balloon. I'm actually sat at my desk, slowly rotating around in my chair.

        Didn't do that with iOS 5, so it suggests it may not be just the GPS hardware.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: GPS

          "Didn't do that with iOS 5, so it suggests it may not be just the GPS hardware."

          Yeah, not saying that the GPS is the issue with maps on iOS 6. Saying that it's probably the reason for the article writers issue with Google maps.

      3. David Ward 1

        @JDX "Surely there is no excuse for GPS not getting your position to within 1m these days?" if you understand how GPS works then yes there is the age old exuse of physical possibility.

        1. AndrewInIreland

          Indeed, if the phone cannot see the GPS satellites then it cannot triangulate using that method. If there are no geo-located WiFi stations, then it can't use WPS. And CPS using cell tower triangulation is only accurate to 20m-50m.

      4. Mike Moyle

        Re: "Surely there is no excuse for GPS not getting your position to within 1m these days?"

        One would think so, wouldn't one...?

        Unfortunately, Google Maps/Latitude on my Samsung phone is spotty. Half of the time it can tell the difference between my sitting in my living room or in my bedroom (top floor of a wood-frame house, near the top of a hill), the other half of the time it tells me that I'm somewhere in a circle of 1/2-mile radius centered on a highway off-ramp a mile away.

        So, they ALL can be crap, sometimes.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @Mike Moyle, GPS doesn't work in a house.;..

          That is why it is not always reliable, when it can it uses WIFI to help figure your position, but GPS won't usually work inside a building, even a wood frame house..

          So it is probably falling back in nearest Mobile tower..

          If it does sometimes get your exact location when in your house, then great, but until your outside don't rely on your phone to find you closer than a few hundred meters..

      5. Robert E A Harvey

        >Surely there is no excuse for GPS not getting your position to within 1m these days?

        It's still very dodgy in city canyons.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I must be missing something...

      I've always found the Google Maps app on iOS5 is excellent (and I use it a lot). I have no intention to upgrade to a poorer experience.

      1. jai

        Re: I must be missing something...

        I've always found the Google Maps app on iOS5 is excellent (and I use it a lot). I have no intention to upgrade to a poorer experience.

        but the point of the article is that you should really be comparing the maps app on iOS6 to the maps app on iOS1 - or rather, the very first time that google release maps.google.com to the world.

        1. John Robson Silver badge

          Re: I must be missing something...

          > but the point of the article is that you should really be comparing the maps app on iOS6 to the maps app on iOS1 - or rather, the very first time that google release maps.google.com to the world.

          No - Look at what the iPhone1 was - a well engineered device. OK, it had a few foibles (cut-n-paste anyone?) but it came out the gate in a good state.

          If Mr Jobs had been alive I don't think the new maps would have made it out of the door.

    3. Steve Evans

      Plus most of his examples involve stepping out of a large building with I presume only a wifi guided lock as the GPS has only had a view of the sky for a few seconds.

    4. Velv
      FAIL

      The new Apple Maps are an iOS6 feature and are not limited to iPhone5, and the actual application is remarkably similar (oops, copyright?)

      What is lacking from Apple is the back end data - the "satellite" images are of a substantially lower quality (they might even be satellite) and the cartography has places in, well, the wrong place. I've used the Google Maps app on the old IOS quite happily - was the blue dot always EXACTLY where I was - no. But the quality of the image was sufficient to figure out where I was. Under Apple, I could hardly tell the buildings from the roads for my neighbourhood.

      Hopefully Apple will invest some of their HUGE fortune in some better data.

  3. nigel 15
    Paris Hilton

    This may be tongue in cheek...

    ...but the actual iPhone 5 review on El Reg by David Phelan was in reality more gushing fanboi apple porn than this.

    1. Grikath
      Pirate

      Re: This may be tongue in cheek...

      Indeed.. But then again that review was so unlike the ...fairly critical.. stance the Reg has towards overherrrmm.. "fervently marketed" shyeerrm.. "products of dubious innovation of fruity derivation" that it might well have been intended as satire.

      1. sabroni Silver badge

        Re: This may be tongue in cheek...

        Or, maybe, and this is a total shot in the dark but try and bear with me and see if it's at all possible, the person writing the review really liked the phone?

        1. nigel 15

          Re: Re: This may be tongue in cheek...

          Or, maybe, and this is a total shot in the dark... - have you read the review? I would say he loved it. in a very special way. hell i don't even love my wife that much.

          1. sabroni Silver badge

            Re: have you read the review?

            yes I have read the review. I don't think it came over as particularly OTT.

            I am a little concerned for the state of your marriage though. Maybe you should get an iPhone...

            1. Robert E A Harvey
              Coat

              The state of his marriage

              >Maybe you should get an iPhone.

              Maybe he should give her one.

              1. sam bo
                Happy

                Re: The state of his marriage

                "Maybe he should give her one."

                Intentionally ambiguous ?

                1. Robert E A Harvey
                  Happy

                  Re: The state of his marriage

                  There's no such thing as a single entendre.

                  whatever works best, I reckon.

        2. Alistair Dabbs

          Re: This may be tongue in cheek...

          I couldn't really say whether I like the 5 or not: I don't have one.

  4. stu 4
    Gimp

    that bird on ifix

    would get it.

    that is all.

    1. sabroni Silver badge
      Stop

      Re: that bird on ifix

      stu 4. Is that your age?

  5. Andrew James

    option to lease ...

    Hows this idea work then? Pay a lot more every month and not get to sell the phone for £350 this time next year?

    1. dotslash
      Trollface

      Re: option to lease ...

      yes, but the other thing is, since the iphone 5 is crap, you won't be able to sell it for £350 in a year, you'd be lucky to search for, navigate to, and convince a shop salesman to trade it in

    2. CCCP

      Re: option to lease ...

      Have to agree with you there Andrew.

      Taking out a contract is not leasing in any normal sense of the word. Just deferred payment.

      You still pay, dearly, for the fecking things, just on a monthly basis.

      And if someone half inches it, you still owe them the full contract cost. This is partly why the UK mobile insurance market is worth £263m (or so YouGov says).

    3. ravenviz Silver badge
      Gimp

      Re: option to lease ...

      That's why I wait until I can get the 'latest' model for under £200 and SIM only contract. My 3GS is just fine!

  6. Stephen Channell
    Gimp

    But it might be Colchester!

    You clearly don’t appreciate the effort Apple has gone to too ensure that all the photographs were taken during the day!

  7. Fihart

    T-Mob Treat Van a scam

    Offered 10 picture texts FREE ?

    When you sign up for the "freebies" you have to confirm by texting the number 1000.

    For which T Mobile charge £1.

    Now that's not quite free, is it ?

  8. Robert Grant
    Meh

    After all that...

    ...he still ends up getting a 5. Is this just a parody of the iPhone buyer's mindset? Is the writer evoking the paradox of the modern man in the 21st century? I see what is right, and I acknowledge it, but I do what is wrong?

  9. Mark Thomas 3
    Thumb Up

    Doesn't matter

    dm;gi

  10. The New Turtle

    What a curious non-story. This is no substitute for another BOFH tale you know.

  11. Wibble
    Happy

    Article request for El Reg...

    Could someone write a review of the best phone packages to get with an *unlocked* smart phone please.

    I'd really like to see packages researched for 1 month rolling contracts and 12 month contracts, for all SIMs: SIM, SIM x 10^-6 and SIM x 10^-9

    1. dotslash
      Thumb Up

      Re: Article request for El Reg...

      i'll add my thumbs up to this, also, I like your SIM notations

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Article request for El Reg...

      I just got a Vodafone SIM only - 12 months with unlimited minutes, unlimited texts and 1Gb data per month (and unlimited for first 3 months) - normal price is £26 which is already pretty good but a bit of pushing and £20.50.

      You can upgrade about 2 months early - so in effect it's almost like a 10 month contract. Think you can even use it abroad for a few pounds a day and use like UK minutes / texts (not sure if UK data though).

      1. CCCP

        Re: Article request for El Reg...

        Also, if you're looking for a deal for your kids, Voda do an £8/month sim only 12-month deal which is not on their site. Unlimited text and 300min but no data - which can be a good thing as they can't accidentally leave e.g. Spotify streaming on a loop...

        If you have the employee advantage deal (/VEA I think) it brings it down to £7.10/month. Mucho cheap.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Article request for El Reg...

          They do it with 500Mb data for £10.50 and a bit of wrangling may get it slightly cheaper - especially if you are renewing. I'd also be careful of 'no data' as on some tariffs you could end up paying an out of contract rate which is likely to be more expensive - i.e. it may not include data but it may be capable of data still.

          Just got 600 minutes, unlimited texts and 500Mb data for my wifes iPhone (oh and free Voda to Voda calls) for £13.00 (normally £15.50) - 12 months / SIM only - considering more of her friends and family have Voda it's a really good deal.

          1. ravenviz Silver badge

            Re: Article request for El Reg...

            Just to say I also went with the £10.50 deal, it's inclusive of VAT as well. It's the data that's most important to me, 500 minutes a month is about 10 times my needs but they don't do a cheaper tariff with fewer minutes.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Article request for El Reg...

      Surely the SIM size does not matter to the contract...?

  12. Rabbi

    Try Targus Atmosphere

    I've been using a Targus Atmosphere TNT007EU for about 5 years. So good I just bought another off eBay, plus 5 more for other colleagues. You can currently find them for £17.

    The description says 15.4" - don't be fooled. My regular laptop is an old 17.1" HP model - full widescreen and not very thin. The case regularly carries the laptop, loads of papers, large assortment of cables, 2 CD wallets, 4 LTO backup tapes and an external DVD drive. There is room in the proper laptop compartment for 2 laptops or maybe 3 if they're thin - and dividers to keep them separate.

    The rear compartment expands - it has an all-around zip that allows it to be made larger. Even without doing that I have carried my lunch in there. The pictures show it expanded and holding a printer and that is certainly possible.

    The strap is wide and compfortable, although the one time I carried 3 laptops, I wasn't sure I could trust the stitching and metal attachments, so I used the handles - which are also quite good.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apple says sorry...

    http://www.apple.com/letter-from-tim-cook-on-maps/

    1. RainForestGuppy

      It's Amazing Apple have apologized.

      I'm expecting Heathrow to be closed due to the amount of airbourne porcine activity, and a Mr Louis Cyfer becoming the star of Dancing on Ice.

    2. OrsonX
      Meh

      Apple going brown

      Wow, Apple says sorry.

      This is very good from one perspective.

      From the other "no response from Apple" perspective it is a let down..., like seeing behind the cutain. The reason we love to hate Apple is because of their arrogance....., but now they are all wimpy and sooooorry.

      I dunno.

      Where's Steve?

  14. Tom 38

    TBH, Colchester has never looked so good.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    " it’s for giving to your teenage children"

    If I gave my teenage child (and no doubt my teenage nephew) an iphone, she'd look at me like I was stupid and sell it for a blackberry.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You must be so proud - edukashun these days.

  16. csumpi
    WTF?

    "it would indicate that I was walking along a street parallel to one I was actually on"

    Wow. It has never occurred to you that the reason might be that the shitty GPS hardware in your phone is giving the map app incorrect location?

    Your thinking sir, not the old maps app, is rubbish.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Surprise Surprise

    Yet another rave review by El Reg's resident fanboi. Would any android set with so many evident nitpicks and flaws get the thumbs up/90%?? My htc one x still knocks the socks off this phone. (Krait S4 version)

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