back to article Scientists: 'Castration is the key to a longer life'

Bollocks boffins studying the effects of male sex hormones on life expectancy have concluded that becoming a eunuch may be the key to living a lot longer. Male members of many species, including Homo sapiens sapiens, live shorter lives than their female counterparts, and castrating some male animals will make them live longer …

COMMENTS

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  1. Arctic fox
    Unhappy

    'Castration is the key to a longer life' You first.

    See title.

    1. Thorne

      Re: 'Castration is the key to a longer life' You first.

      It's actually women that cause men to die younger. No balls means no women means live longer.

      1. MrT

        Live fast...

        ...die young, and leave a good-looking corpse ... with all the bits and pieces still attached.

        Young? Good-looking? Sorry, was reading someone else's biography there.

      2. hplasm
        Happy

        Re: 'Castration is the key to a longer life' You first.

        It is merely due to the fact that it is easier and quicker to slide down bannisters going "wheee" like a kid; this makes you feel young again, and you live longer because of it.

        Also you don't whack your nuts on the bannister end...

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: 'Castration is the key to a longer life' You first.

      Quote from Wall-E:

      I do not want to survive, I _WANT_ _TO_ _LIVE_ !!!

    3. Mips
      Childcatcher

      Re: 'Castration is the key to a longer life' You first.

      "castrating some male animals will make them live longer" Or is that it just seems longer.

      Anyway I thought that wearing thight jeans had the same effect.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Responsible reporting.

    Well played, sir.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Castration...

    ...aka marriage.

    1. jake Silver badge

      I feel ever so sorry for you, Mahatma.

      That is all.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Joke

        Re: I feel ever so sorry for you, Mahatma.

        Er, I was joking. The lovely Mrs Coat is a treasure.

        1. jake Silver badge
          Pint

          Mrs. jake reads (and posts) here sometimes ...

          ... as a result, I go out of my way not to get Vickied ;-)

          Just a hint. This round's on me.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Castration...

      I think what you meant was "verbal castration"

  4. Goat Jam
    Coat

    Article doesn't tell you much about the "scientists" involved

    It was done by a "Professorette of Women Studies" would be my best guess.

  5. pete 22
    Trollface

    volunteers

    Who says the subjects had to be volunteers? For example if it were to become the standard procedure for POWs then the world would probably become a much more peaceful place shortly...

    And of course there's a refreshing variety of idiots trying to Darwinate themselves on YouTube...

    1. Joe User
      Terminator

      Re: volunteers

      If this became standard procedure for POWs, I think a lot more men would die fighting.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Who says the subjects had to be volunteers? For example if it were to become the standard procedure for POWs then the world would probably become a much more peaceful place shortly..."

    Violence is not genetic, but you did almost come up with the answer: rapists - now there's a deserving test group.

    1. Thorne

      "rapists - now there's a deserving test group."

      Yes but do you want them to live longer?

    2. The Wegie

      " rapists - now there's a deserving test group."

      I think you'll find that there's fairly detailed evidence from the Czech Republic for the efficacy or not of the treatment.

      In fact I'm surprised that the investigators didn't use the Czech Republic to test their theories.

    3. Jedit Silver badge
      FAIL

      "rapists - now there's a deserving test group."

      Except by the time you are a rapist you're already a fully functioning male, and loss of your testicles will only prevent you reproducing. As a guy I knew once said: "You've got meat and two veg. Take away the sprouts and you've still got a meal."

      Go back to reading the Daily Mail.

      1. ridley
        Childcatcher

        Re: "rapists - now there's a deserving test group."

        "Except by the time you are a rapist you're already a fully functioning male, and loss of your testicles will only prevent you reproducing."

        Err no.

        Removing the testicles and hence the majority of testosterone production will in most cases also make you unable to perform or for that matter want to perform. This is the reason why chemical castration was/is used on sex offenders by the use of anti androgens to reduce testosterone production and in some cases female hormones. See amongst others Alan Turing.

        Of course this is the same cocktail as used by male to female transexuals so maybe a study of the life expectancy of that relatively large group would be informative.

        1. Jedit Silver badge
          Headmaster

          Re: "Removing the testicles ... will in most cases also make you unable to perform"

          Don't compare apples and oranges. Vasectomy is no different to complete removal of the testes so far as hormone production goes, but it doesn't kill your libido or render you incapable. Chemical castration differs in that it alters your biochemistry directly, replacing the testosterone that is already present.

          1. Vic

            Re: "Removing the testicles ... will in most cases also make you unable to perform"

            > Vasectomy is no different to complete removal of the testes so far as hormone production goes

            Errr - yes it is.

            Vic.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: "Removing the testicles ... will in most cases also make you unable to perform"

            Jedit: shut up already, it's getting embarrasing. Leave medicine to those of us who actually know a bit about it.

  7. jake Silver badge

    That's odd ...

    Our bull is 15 years old. The steers typically don't make it past 10 months ... Same for the sheep, goats & hogs.

    1. Richard 12 Silver badge

      Re: That's odd ...

      That'll be down to the whole "predators eating them" thing.

      Wierd how that works, eh?

      1. Graham Dawson Silver badge

        Re: That's odd ...

        Yes, but very tasty.

  8. Urh

    Quantity vs quality

    I think I speak for most men when I say I am perfectly happy to sacrifice a decade or so of life expectancy if it means I can live out my days with a sex drive.

    1. Thorne
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Quantity vs quality

      Try living with a woman for ten years and then tell me you have a better quality of life than a eunuch. You both have just as much sex only the eunuch misses it less.

      (That said I'll still keep them for sentimental reasons and damn the ten years)

      1. Killraven

        Re: Quantity vs quality

        Having been happily married for 25 years, and counting, I find that my monogomous sex-life is much more active than what my single, male, all under 30, coworkers brag about.

        1. badmonkey

          Re: Quantity vs quality

          So you have quantity, not quality?

          :)

          1. LaeMing
            Thumb Up

            Re: Quantity vs quality

            Sounds like he has both.

          2. Killraven

            Re: Quantity vs quality

            Well... neither of us has quite the energy/flexibility we used to, but middle age and kids tend to do that to a person. :-)

            Let's just say that, as the years pass, your definition of quality might take on a bit of a different meaning.

            It is something of a relative term though, tastes vary.

  9. Magani
    Coat

    Oxymoron?

    "...detailed family history of the eunuch class..."

    Not much scope for a 'Who Do You Think You Are' series, then?

    1. Tom 7

      Re: Oxymoron?

      A deep frozen collection of ones sperm could be used ala "A policeman from Clapham Junction"

      It should be added that castration does not necessarily remove erectile function - merely the normal means for ending it and inducing snoring.

    2. Graham Marsden

      Re: Oxymoron?

      And Arnold Rimmer found that in a past life he was Alexander the Great's Chief Eunuch...

  10. badmonkey
    Boffin

    Controls?

    I know that the article says that said ball-less wonders were compared against "a similar socio-economic background to exclude genetic differences", but one still has to wonder if the sample size is enough, and if the real reason for non-threatening men with cushy jobs at the royal palace living a little longer than normal is maybe something else...

    Also, there are eunuchs today, for medical reasons if nothing else. Couldn't they be studied? I wonder if medieval Asian societies are about as relevant to modern Western lifestyles as, well, medieval Asian societies.

    1. badmonkey

      Re: Controls?

      Just to answer my own post. The BBC article has a little more to say on the matter

      ...

      "Dr Kyung-Jin Min, from Inha University, told the BBC: "We also thought that different living circumstances or lifestyles of eunuchs can be attributed to the lifespan difference.

      "However, except for a few eunuchs, most lived outside the palace and spent time inside the palace only when they were on duty."

      Instead he thinks the data "provides compelling evidence that male sex hormone reduces male lifespan".

      [contradicted by]

      Dr David Clancy, from the University of Lancaster, said: "The results are persuasive, but certainly not conclusive."

      He said the relatively high number of centenarians in the group suggested eliminating testosterone may have prolonged life. However, he cautioned that difference in lifestyle could have had a significant impact.

      "In this case eunuchs were raised by eunuchs over generations, lifestyle differences may have been reinforced in this way.

      "Castrato versus non-castrato singers are probably a better comparison, and showed no difference in lifespan. Non-castrato lived an average 65 years and both groups lived fairly cosseted lives."

      ...

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19699266

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    UNIX?

    Erm, never mind...

    1. GitMeMyShootinIrons
      Thumb Up

      Re: UNIX?

      I think you're referring to a different sort of 'up' time...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: UNIX?

      http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1993-11-09/

  12. Mahou Saru

    Castration is....

    Balls out, or just the snip???

    1. bharq

      Re: Castration is....

      for this effect, it would be balls out: the snip doesn't stop the testosteron flow that's accused of shortening male lifespan

  13. LaeMing
    Coat

    Whelp.

    Looks like the ex. is all set.

  14. Blofeld's Cat
    Coat

    Who wants to live forever?

    According to a French lady centenarian, the real secret to her long, happy life was...

    "Getting off the Titanic in 1912".

  15. Euchrid

    Or at least, it seems longer.

    That's all.

  16. Great Bu

    Worked out on the back of a (sticky) napkin...

    Ironically, a quick calculation on the back of a napkin would seem to show that the 19 years extra life is almost exactly the amount of time I will have spent 'emtying' my boy sack by the time I die, so not only do we die younger but we will have less time to do other stuff whilst we are alive.

    Still, no regrets.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Re: Worked out on the back of a (sticky) napkin...

      Not to mention the extra money you'll be spending on high protein foods and vitamin supplements to maintain that rate of porking - you sure your maths is correct?

    2. JetSetJim
      Coat

      Re: Worked out on the back of a (sticky) napkin...

      If you'll have "spent" 19 years (~10M minutes) in hand-to-gland combat, let's try and break that down:

      Assume a generous 10 mins per episode, then that's 1M hand-shandies in your life.

      If you are active for 50 years, that's 20K per year, or roughly 55/day.

      Every day.

      Let me be the first to call you a w****r, but I'm not going to arm-wrestle you to settle an argument. Or even shake your hand.

      My coat is splash-proof...

      1. Robert Moore
        Thumb Up

        Re: If you are active for 50 years, that's 20K per year, or roughly 55/day.

        That sounds about right.

        Not counting weekends when I have more free time.

        1. JetSetJim
          Coffee/keyboard

          Re: If you are active for 50 years, that's 20K per year, or roughly 55/day.

          lol - all over the keyboard, too

      2. Great Bu

        Re: Worked out on the back of a (sticky) napkin...

        Sounds about right.

        Tell you what, though, it's like a raggedy red stump now......

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Calling all politicians!

    Live long, and prosper.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Calling all politicians!

      I'm assuming this is, should be in the sub-thread started by Great Bu, and upvoted on that basis.

      Quality responses through and through. Makes me proud to be one of the commentards (no sarcasm, BTW)

  18. Christoph
    Boffin

    There are humans who could be studied

    "Naturally, trying this out on humans would cause some ethical problems – not to mention a shortage of volunteers"

    There's a very large number of post-op M2F transgendered people who could be studied.

    1. ShadowedOne
      Boffin

      Re: There are humans who could be studied

      Except that they will be taking estrogen supplements.

      1. Al Jones

        Re: There are humans who could be studied

        I think the fact that they don't have to wait 50 years to find out the outcome of the 'experiment' might be a factor too.

  19. M7S
    Mushroom

    Do the Civil Servants in the study live longer

    simply as they were cossetted in the palace whilst everyone else was out facing the dangers of the world, with increased exposure to violence, accidental injury, inclement weather, disease etc and probably having to labour hard for a living?

    (Less seriously) A bit like today in fact. Other comparisons could be drawn about a civil service with no cohones but that would unfairly exclude the females now in the role who can also demonstrate aggression and other sterotypically male attributes. Relax sisters, I'm simply recognising your right to be equal.

  20. Tom 38

    Balls

    This piece is missing the other important detail that whilst this longevity has been documented in a group of castrated Korean monks, there have been many studies on castrati, which document no longevity benefits to losing your scratchings.

    Castrati lived fairly normal lives to any other singer - hence there is a comparable control group -whilst Korean monks inhabited a different sector of society to regular workers.

  21. Graham Marsden
    Boffin

    I think...

    ... someone's in line for an igNobel award...

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Slavery really was bollocks

    Now there's a part of the slave trade you never hear people complain about or even mention.

    I wonder why not? If the US senate and Tony Blair had to apologise for what their countries did centuries ago, how come no one's demanding China's apology for their institutionalised bollock chopping?

    I mean, seriously... Imagine being in that particular queue, in chains, knowing what was waiting for you at the end. No anaesthetic, no drummer boy, no pain killers or anti-biotics. Just a man with a 3" curved knife, a bowl and an onlooking clowder of very fat cats.

    1. Lord Voldemortgage

      Re: Slavery really was bollocks

      "clowder" - new word to me, thanks.

  23. Robert Wilberforce-Smythe

    Volunteers?

    Without getting into gender-politics, wouldn't post-op transexuals technically fall into the "voluntary eunuch" catagory?

    I wonder if anyone has studied life expectency in this case?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I know this for real

    I have a medical condition that means I can't produce testosterone. Believe me it's bloody miserable. Never mind no sex drive, you have no interest in women whatsoever. You have no energy, I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. You put on loads of weight and can't get rid of it, also you lose muscle. Your brain is a total fog, you make loads of weird mistakes and don't know why. All you want to do is die, suicide is never far from your mind.

    I had this for 10 years trying to keep a full time job until I had it diagnosed, now they pump me full of the stuff every three months and believe me I'm a lot better for it.

    Anonymous Cowered for obvious reasons.

  25. 0laf
    Boffin

    Nothing new

    I was told this about 20yr ago at uni. If you get your nads off as well as living longer you might grow another couple of inches (it's testosterone that stops bone growth in teenage boys) and if you're a baldy your hair might grown back. The irony is that being taller with more hair you'll probably be more attractive to the female sex but being deficient in the baw bag department you'll be hard pushed to make use of it.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Long life or castration?

    Bollocks to that

  27. MJI Silver badge

    Longer life vs exercise

    Thought this watching joggers and cyclists.

    Lets say 1 hour a day over 50 years.

    Over 2 solid years exercising.

    Will they live that much longer?

    1. JetSetJim
      Megaphone

      Re: Longer life vs exercise

      Wiki: "On average, obesity reduces life expectancy by six to seven years" - quoting article in the Lancet. But that's "fat" not "fit"

      Then there's the Telegraph: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/3317338/Fitness-not-fat-determines-life-expectancy.html But there's no numbers quoted beyond percentage chance of dying.

      The other aspect is that fit people grow old a bit more gracefully, suffering less illness & disease:

      http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/05/the-benefits-of-middle-age-fitness/

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    bollock boffins correct

    Probably be a requirement for deep space journeys. you cant have all that stuff floating about in a 5 year voyage and will stop kirk types making passes at the short skirted crew.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Its the baggage, not the balls...

    All the aggravation, the stress, a normal man has to endure for the usage of his balls - marriage, kids, etc. All unnatural. This stress is what kills men. The 'yes dear' syndrome. These guys had no such worries in their lives.

    I'm married, and its fine, but hell, the peaceful years of no hassle, no kids, etc. are gone. The kids and the wife provide an up to all this, but in the end, it remains a roller coaster which will kill you faster than if you just didn't went the normal route.

    If you census single guys living alone, healthily, with a social life, you know, not freaks, you'll see they live just as long as those eunuchs.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "didn't went"

      WTF man?

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Serious Question...

    What about those who have the old Trans-Gender Lopadicktomy? Do they live longer?

    Also regularly using the old Trouser Cannon is suposed to reduce the chance of Prostate Cancer, what happens if you no londger have the Amunition? does that increase the chances?

    1. Andus McCoatover
      Coat

      Re: Serious Question...

      Is that like 'Ladies who prefer ladies' have a "Strapadichtomy"?

      OK, Mine's the one with nothing worth mentioning in the pockets.

  31. Mark Jan

    Politicians Should Live Forever

    Based on this, UK politicians should live forever as none of them have any balls, Margaret Thatcher excepted.

  32. Curly4
    Thumb Down

    NO FUN

    Yes, but who would want to live longer?

  33. Why Not?
    Boffin

    you missed the point

    its invalid science but they got to spend a while in Korea researching.

    just keep sending the grants.

    Next bit of research - Caribbean diet and atmosphere prolongs life , should be good for a few years of funding.

  34. No, I will not fix your computer
    FAIL

    Doh.....

    The eunuchs that this data was drawn from were typically in well-off environments, good health and food, while there is some sense in "the candle burning twice as bright burns half as long" the fact that they were a privileged class also significantly helped, and comparing them with the average (where most people didnot have the same privilege) skews the figures somewhat.

  35. The last doughnut
    Meh

    Bollards

    In my old comprehensive school there was a traditional method for extending the life expectancy of the younger boys. It involved several older boys and a concrete bollard.

  36. Nick Kew

    Someone's got to say it

    Do you really live longer, or does it just feel like it?

    Did noone think to ask Methuselah?

  37. archaeopteryx

    Aahhh!... Finally! I am sending a copy of this to all those afraid that the sky is falling, including AGWarmingmongers. Snip, presto!

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