back to article Darth Vader is a pansy

American country music doesn't appeal to me, but Johnny Cash atoned for its worst sins. Whitney Houston’s foghorn cover of Dolly Parton’s funeral-favourite I will always love you could finally be forgiven when Cash returned the favour with his version of Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus. But if you had turned up at the wrong …

COMMENTS

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  1. Aaron Em

    Alistair Dabbs is a pansy

    And black + chrome = classic.

  2. Thomas 4
    Facepalm

    Silly man

    If your next computer is blood red, how do you expect it to remain undetected while conducting covert aerial bombing raids?

    *My* computer on the other hand is a perfectly sensible black colour and is so stealthy I have trouble finding the bloody thing at times.

  3. Horridbloke
    FAIL

    Red doesn't work either

    The villain in the recent Green Hornet film tried the red costume thing and that didn't work.

    (To be fair, Russian gangsters and comedy don't work. I think it's because Russian gangsters aren't funny.)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Are over 30's always saying the word cool, cool?

    Honestly! I'd be worried.

    1. Schultz
      Thumb Up

      Are over 30's always saying the word cool, cool?

      I had two kids (1.9 & 3.5 years of age) running around the living room, chasing balloons, and exclaiming 'Das ist cool!'. So I guess 'cool' is all right for all ages now.

    2. Richard Ball

      re: cool>30

      Yes, we're well wicked.

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Pirate

      Growing older is compulsory.

      Growing up is optional.

      1. Danny 14

        yup

        only rad dads are kool for skool.

        My teenager threatened to volutarily go into care if I ever said that in public.

        Black is fine for a laptop although hers is non descript sticker covered colour. I think it was grey to begin with.

  5. Jon Double Nice

    Wood Jerry, Wood

    All technology is made cooler by the addition of wood. Just look at Moog synthesizers.

    This is scientific fact.

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Stop

      Re: Wood Jerry, Wood

      Swan vestas are cooler than flame-throwers then are they?

      1. Aaron Em

        Re: Wood Jerry, Wood

        I'd hazard to say that most things, lucifer matches included, are cooler than a flamethrower. Napalm burns pretty damn hot, after all!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wood Jerry, Wood

      "All technology is made cooler by the addition of wood. Just look at Moog synthesizers."

      Esp. when they're playing Country Moog, e.g. Folsom Prison Blues (iircc)

    3. David Hicks
      Happy

      Re: Wood Jerry, Wood

      And for those without the 'leet skills to carpenter themselves up a wooden PC, there's always fablon!

  6. mark 63 Silver badge

    excuse me The Black Hole is an Awesome movie .

    1. AndrueC Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      The book was good as well. One of many penned by Alan Dean Foster (he also wrote Aliens and the hilarious Dark Star.

      I've always had a soft spot for this Commonwealth series although they are a bit quirky. It's not always clear what age range he's targeting there.

      1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
        Stop

        But "Splinter of the Mind's Eye"...

        ...is probably best forgotten, given the relationship between Luke & Leia...

        1. launcap Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: But "Splinter of the Mind's Eye"...

          > ...is probably best forgotten, given the relationship between Luke & Leia...

          I have a copy of that at home somewhere. I wonder if it'll sell well on some of the more outre websites?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        > One of many penned by Alan Dean Foster (he also wrote Aliens and the hilarious Dark Star.

        Alan Dean Foster did the novelisation of Dark Star and Alien(s).

        Dan O'Bannon wrote Dark Star and co-wrote Alien. He also played the not quite Sgt. Pinback in Dark Star.

        Alan Dean Foster is OK, but tends to whore himself out for pulp book versions of film and TV; he's done a lot of trashy Star Wars / Star Trek novels for example.

        I did enjoy The Damned Trilogy though. Aliens rock up to planet Earth to subjugate the puny humans, the aliens quickly realise the puny humans are violently insane by galactic standards, the puny humans wreck the alien's shit.

        1. AndrueC Silver badge
          Thumb Down

          http://www.worldcat.org/search?qt=wikipedia&q=isbn%3A034524267X

          "Author:Alan Dean Foster"

          Yes, it's 'only' a novelization but if you buy the book he'll be shown as the author and will - presumably - get the bulk of the royalties if not all of them. It is therefore correct to say that he 'penned' it in my opinion. As for the rest - can't really disagree there. He has 'whored himself' out. However most of his work is enjoyable and I have quite a few of them on my shelves.

      3. mark 63 Silver badge
        Boffin

        book

        "The book was good as well. One of many penned by Alan Dean Foster"

        Very true.

        I have a 'first edition' where "The Black Hole" is printed horizontally in crumbling letters , rather than the vertical 'down the plughole' text of later versions.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      seconded

      The Black Hole is indeed a great movie. Great special effects for the time, interesting characters, good actors, and really rather dark despite the star wars inspired friendly droids.

    3. Silverburn

      third-ed...but right about one thing - Maximillan was a serious bad ass. Even the terminators don't enjoy disembowelment as much as him.

    4. Peter Storm

      "excuse me The Black Hole is an Awesome movie"

      Maybe you should go and watch it again. Any film that has a robot talking like a cowboy old-timer with a lisp is definitely NOT awesome.

      1. Silverburn

        Re: "excuse me The Black Hole is an Awesome movie"

        Nah - it was pretty cool - especially if you were 10 years old.

        It also meant you didn't read anything homo-erotic into the whole maximilian/Reinhardt thing at the end. You just wondered what the f* was going on.

        1. kyza

          Re: "excuse me The Black Hole is an Awesome movie"

          One of the influences in TBH was Faust - Maximillian represents Mephistopholes/the devil, Rheinhardt is Faust, which is why when he attempts to pass the secrets he's obtained over to Durant Maximillian kills him. When Rheinhardt whispers to Kate 'Protect me from Maximillian' he's asking her to save him from his own actions as Faust does

          The bit at the end when they merge and you see Max on top of a mountain looking down over a desolate, red landscape is supposed to represent hell, and the merging is Max taking Rheinhardt's soul as payment for his knowledge.

          Great movie that at least had the courage to have a degree of pretentiousness even if it did have robots named VINCent & B.O.B.

          1. graeme leggett Silver badge

            Re: "excuse me The Black Hole is an Awesome movie"

            No one's mentioned the "zombies". (and they were in all-Black, IIRC)

            Enjoyed it when I was young, perhaps it's time to renew the acquaintence. Though it might be a biit spooky for my son, and I don't fancy the task of explaining the ending to him.

      2. jason 7
        Mushroom

        Re: "excuse me The Black Hole is an Awesome movie"

        I'm sorry but Slim Pickens doing anything is extremely cool. He WAS a cowboy old-timer!

        He could have just read the phone book and it would have been entertaining.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Indeed. No happy ending and very dark for a Disney film.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Jim 59

    80's black on black hifi

    Every item of music equipment went black in the 80s, even to the extent of having black labels on black backgrounds. I think they wanted to distinguish themselves from the beige/grey/teak/brushed aluminium of the 70s. User friendly it was not.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: 80's black on black hifi

      80s black stuff...

      I also like the way 80s stuff was black with primary or pastel-coloured text and lines, denoting the functions of buttons and the like.

      1. LinkOfHyrule
        Paris Hilton

        Re: 80's black on black hifi

        What year was it that all the people on my council estate who lacked taste started painting their internal doors black and buying one of everything from the Argos black-ash living room set range?

  9. AbortRetryFail
    Thumb Up

    t-shirt

    That is possibly the most awesomest t-shirt ever created by man. In fact I might change my name to Cunty McFuckoff. :o)

    1. EddieD

      Re: t-shirt

      Times change - in the early 90s a guy was fined for wearing an Inspiral Carpets "Cool as Fuck" t-shirt (ISTR that the band stumped up the wonga...)

      Ob bad friday joke (from a few weeks ago) - Have you heard about Darth Vader's Really Evil brother? His name's Taxi.

    2. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: t-shirt

      The t-shirt was from smellyourmum.com

      1. Alistair Dabbs

        Re: t-shirt

        And that's SAINT Cunty McFuckoff to you.

        Alistair

      2. Graham Bartlett

        Re: t-shirt

        Another domain name proving that punctuation (or at least whitespace) serves a purpose.

      3. Christine Hedley Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: t-shirt

        "The t-shirt was from smellyourmum.com"

        Awesome. There are so many things there that I need to have. :D

        1. Christine Hedley Silver badge
          Meh

          Re: t-shirt

          Every reply downvoted? Wow, someone's a miserable bastard.

          1. Arctic fox
            Thumb Up

            Re: "Every reply downvoted?"

            Yes, I scrolled down the thread seeing one downvote after the other mostly on entirely innocuous posts where there was no apparent rhyme or reason to the vote. Most peculiar - some saddo I expect.

    3. Captain Save-a-ho
      Coat

      Re: t-shirt

      I'll have to pass that name to my son, as I took Scrottie McBoogerBalls a while ago...

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: t-shirt

      Naughty words on a t shirt - can't get any further from cool than that. Apart from the prats with fuck off tattooed on their necks.

  10. CADmonkey
    Happy

    "Whitney Houston’s foghorn cover of Dolly Parton’s funeral-favourite I will always love you"

    God bless you for that. I knew I couldn't be the only one.

    1. Darryl
      Megaphone

      Re: "Whitney Houston’s foghorn cover of Dolly Parton’s funeral-favourite I will always love you"

      I just want to thank Alistair for finally giving me the proper description of Whitney Houston's singing. I've been trying to come up with a good adjective, and 'foghorn' fits the bill perfectly.

      Icon - Bullhorn, Foghorn... close enough

    2. Graham Bartlett

      Re: "Whitney Houston’s foghorn cover of Dolly Parton’s funeral-favourite I will always love you"

      A guy I worked with at the time said, "there's a gob looking for half a ton of cement".

  11. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
    WTF?

    Wot, no H2G2 references?

    Disaster Area's spaceship, anyone?

    1. Graham Marsden
      Thumb Up

      Re: Wot, no H2G2 references?

      Exactly! A black keyboard with black letters and black buttons that light up black to let you know you've pressed them...

      1. TheRealRoland
        Thumb Up

        Re: Wot, no H2G2 references?

        DEDs, right? Dark-Emitting Diodes...

      2. Andus McCoatover
        Windows

        Re: Wot, no H2G2 references?

        Black legend-less keyboard??

        I SO seriously want one of them! Missus could never use my computer again, or search the history to find out what pr0n I'd visited....Nice the black USB cable (according to the spec) has been approved by Darth Vader..

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Wot, no H2G2 references?

          If you're interested, Filco also do a blank keyset option for their keyboards. I've owned two now, a Majestouch (Brown Switch) and a Majestouch 2 Tenkeyless (Red Switch), with blank keys.

          I'll never go back to a non mechanical keyboard after owning one of these. They are so nice to type on, it is uncanny. People look at me like I'm mad for spending over £100 on a keyboard, but they spend £70 on a piece of shit G15... which will need to replaced much sooner than either of these Filcos, my original keyboard is three years old and going strong only needing a little clean every now and then. I made the mistake of taking my Majestouch to work then couldn't do without it which is why I have two.

          Incidentally, I definitely prefer the red switch.

    2. EddieD

      Re: Wot, no H2G2 references?

      <cough> Hagunenon spacecraft...

  12. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

    Black's all right but...

    Pink or lime green (like the early Asus EEEs) are a lot less likely to get nicked.

    1. Captain Save-a-ho
      Coat

      Re: Black's all right but...

      Why don't we make it smell like plum-ripe shit piles while we're at! For fuck's sake...

  13. Richard Ball

    Bromine

    Vader should have been beige.

    Computers go yellow because of UV exposure having caused the bromine compounds used as fire retardants in the plastic turn into some other form that is brown.

    (so that's probably something like bromine compound -> bromine crystals)

    Read this link and it could change your life:

    http://retr0bright.wikispaces.com/

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bromine

      > Vader should have been beige.

      I will just leave this here.

      1. Danny 14
        WTF?

        Re: Bromine

        holy jebus that is just wrong.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    labels on the keys

    Labels on the keys are for wimps. Real men can touch type.

    1. Silverburn
      Coat

      Re: labels on the keys

      ...or dictate to their secretaries.

      Runs away. Very fast.

    2. Aaron Em

      Re: labels on the keys

      Real men have unlabeled keyboards because we've worn the labels off them.

      1. Dcope
        Happy

        Re: labels on the keys

        Gamers just loose them on the wsad keys.

      2. Darryl

        Re: labels on the keys

        Aaron - you have a lot of Dell keyboards too, huh?

        1. Aaron Em

          Re: labels on the keys

          Actually, I've got a Dell keyboard on my desk, P/N SK-8110, that's seen well over a million keystrokes -- I've been using it nearly a decade -- and it has yet to lose a label; the 'S' has a tiny nick in it, but that's all. (It's one of the old PS/2 ones they used to ship with, e.g., Dimension 3000 desktops. I've got a couple of the newer flimsy USB type, but haven't used them very much, so I don't know if it's just the newer keyboards that are crap.)

          Mostly I see this happen with laptop keyboards, and my clients frequently see it with Logitech wireless units; I've been thinking it has more to do with cheaply formulated ABS + acidity of skin oils, or something, especially since on my laptops I tend not only to wear off the labels but to eat divots into the plastic of the keys themselves -- I've only had this "Toshiba", actually Acer, for a couple of years, and of the EATOINSHRDLU keys, those which don't have dents have at least had the matte finish worn off. The spacebar's got such a huge dent in the right-hand side, where the first knuckle of my thumb hits it, that I'm wondering how much longer before I punch through it entirely.

          1. HeNe
            Meh

            @Aaron Em: Cheaply-Made Keyboards

            The good keyboards were made with double-shot injection molding; the labels on the keys went "all the way through". Legendary-old-school Hewlett-Packard used to use this process on their calculator keys.

            These days, manufacturers don't use double-shot molding because it's more expensive, and doesn't make sense. Usually, the crappy rubber-dome-or-whatever contact mechanisms currently made die before the cheap-o labels wear off.

            I have a few old-style IBM mechanical keyboards, along with the needed PS/2-->USB converters. 30+ years old, and they still work just fine.

            1. Aaron Em

              Re: @Aaron Em: Cheaply-Made Keyboards

              God bless Model Ms! I've got one -- a proper one, model 1391401, in fact -- made a few months before I was born, and it's still as solid as a tank. Only reason I don't use it is that it lacks a Windows key -- something about which people have been grousing for years, despite the fact that a fourth meta key is actually a very handy thing to have.

              1. Christine Hedley Silver badge

                Re: @Aaron Em: Cheaply-Made Keyboards

                You can still get "kinda" Model Ms from Unicomp's outlet. Perhaps not quite as sturdy as the originals, but they're still really very good, and they have the extra keys. And a non-beige colour scheme!

                1. Aaron Em

                  Re: @Aaron Em: Cheaply-Made Keyboards

                  That's good to know -- thanks!

  15. thomas k.
    Thumb Up

    re: seconded

    Not just an awesome movie, though a remake of a 30's Spencer Tracy movie, but an awesome score by John Barry, as well.

  16. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    Supposedly...

    ... there's a Darth Vader action figure with a sign on it saying "Warning - Choking Hazard"...

  17. Steve 13

    Stones are normally slate coloured?

    Maybe it's down to the geography of where you live.

    Go somewhere that's primarily limestone and suddenly "stone white" makes sense.

  18. MikeyD85
    Devil

    My computer

    is blood red. I'll trade it with you! It's somewhat... horrid... but it does the job.

    http://tinypic.com/r/2w2gg9z/6

  19. Dave 126 Silver badge

    UV light...

    ...makes ABS go yellow, not just nicotine. Something to do with it releasing bromine. That is partly why the original Sony Playstation was a slightly purpley shade of light grey, so that inevitable yellowing would look less noticeable.

  20. TeeCee Gold badge
    Devil

    Coloured boxes.

    + 1 for black. Not too bothered about beige / white / whatever. The trend for everything to be silver-coloured plastic not so long ago? That was the work of Satan.

    I'm still waiting for an explanation as to why all the TV and HiFi manufacturers decided simultaneously that they wanted that el cheapo, '80s Binatone/Goldstar/Amstrad look......

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Joke

      Re: Coloured boxes.

      Its's not quite the amstrad look - for that you have to make randomly selected buttons primary colours and use really bad fonts!

    2. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Coloured boxes.

      I had a choice of black or silver DVD player when I needed to replace, I chose black.

      Silver finish - useless Pace PVR as soon as it is cleared scrap time, a BT Vision box - yes a Freeview PVR for £30, an RGB switch box.

      Everything else is black and looks better for it.

  21. xperroni
    Mushroom

    Because black is too mainstream?

    Black is functional. It maximizes contrast to key glyphs, indicator lights and the like.

    Colored kit look like toys. I loved netbooks when they were black and square; now that they're all smooth textures, curved lines and sissy colors I can't stand looking at the things.

    But if you're really pissed with the prevalence of black kit, don't worry: for better or (in my opinion) worse the market always oscillates between all-black and all-white kit, so sooner or later it should swing around.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Because black is too mainstream?

      My neighbour has four cars, all of them in fashionable black. It's like living next door to an undertaker.

      1. MrT

        Re: Because black is too mainstream?

        Out washing them all the time, I'll bet.

        I thought white was the new cool for cars? Some manufacturers even charge for it these days - used to be the cheapest of the freebie options...

        1. Steven Roper
          Thumb Up

          MrT Re: white cars

          My friend has an interesting theory on white cars, having owned quite a few different coloured ones in his time.

          He maintains that white cars have the best "police invisibility" - that is, cops pull over white cars noticeably less often than cars of any other colour, with red being the "cop magnet" colour most likely to be pulled over. His experiences in 25 years of driving seem to bear him out on this: in the 4 years he was driving his red Datsun 1200, he was pulled over 12 times; in the same period driving his white Ford Falcon, he was pulled over only once.

          Not only that, he also diligently takes note every time he sees someone else pulled over, and he says he sees less white cars pulled over than any other colour, despite white being one of the more common car colours on the road where we live.

          Since he's a bit of a risk-taker and a leadfoot, his driving style is more likely than most to attract the notice of the local constabulary regardless of the car he's in, so he puts it down to the colour of the car as being the major determinant of police attention!

          1. MrT

            Re: white cars

            That's a good observation. I picked a metallic bluish silver because it hides muck and small scratches. The last time it got washed was when it went for a service.

            Mind you, I find speed cameras to be fairly colour-agnostic ;-)

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beige plastic actually yellowed due to fire retardant chemicals added to the plastic.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'Who' is but the form following the function of 'what'

    Don't forget The Master in Doctor Who. Always dressed in black, slim-fit suits with perfect cuffs and sleeve lengths. Virtually everything worn by Delgado and Ainley still looks contemporary.

    And then there's Spooks. Adam Carter was like a male catwalk model sponsored by Debenhams as he colourfully strutted around The Grid, whilst Tom was seriously cool. That was because his dress sense (dark and simple) and demeanour mirrored each other.

    You can't just dress in black and still behave like Alan Carr. You need to be as devoid of personality and emotion as your clothes are of colour, thus conjuring up the perception of mystery and secrecy. Then you're cool and interesting as people wonder what you're really like on the inside. Behave exactly the same way in a pair of mustard chinos and a 'James May' stripy jumper or a grey suit, and you'll just be a crashing bore.

    Go on, imagine Steve Jobs giving a keynote speech and announcing the new iPad whilst looking like Eric Finch. Talking of which, V is another cool person who dresses in slim-fit black, skilfully avoiding fancy footwear.

    1. Aaron Em

      Re: 'Who' is but the form following the function of 'what'

      I wish I could dress as sharp as Sr. Delgado's Master. My God, what a good-looking man! -- and about the only one who could get away with dressing all in black, too; on most people it just looks sad.

  24. Identity

    Shaving

    Back in the day (remember Miami Vice?), there was an electric razor that left stubble a la Sonny Crockett.

    1. Mike Taylor

      Re: Shaving

      Beard trimmer on #1, surely?

      1. TheRealRoland

        Re: Shaving

        The Philips beard trimmer i use has the setting 'Unique Stubble Look'...

        1. graeme leggett Silver badge

          Re: Shaving

          a unique look for everyone that uses it.

  25. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    Colours

    Black & red, the colours of sports cars sold to men looking to appear more potent. I think there is plenty of trick cyclist research on this but Ferrari's catalogue is probably all the evidence you need.

    Personally, I like the idea expounded in "The Cook, the Thief, his Wife and her Lover" that black stuff should be more expensive because is symbolises "the mastery over death".

  26. Thorfkin
    Trollface

    Technology Matte Black

    You know I was just thinking the exact opposite. I actually LIKE the matte black finish and I feel all tech should be available in basic black. I was looking through the phones the other day at best buy and I couldn't help but notice how many of them failed so spectacularly at visual aesthetics. It's like cell phone manufacturers have completely lost any sense of style or taste. Not one of them was completely matte black. Either they have a back cover that's a hideously different color than the rest of they have this god-awful silver band around the outer edge (apple style). I really can't stress enough just what an eye-sore most apple products are and it fizzles my brain to see so many phone manufacturers willfully copying Apple's lack of style.

    I still think it should be a crime to use the color silver without an art degree or something XD

  27. philbo
    Happy

    Maybe his next computer should be one of these

  28. sisk

    Disagree

    The problem with Max was not the color. The problem was that it was actually quite difficult to remain awake, attentive, and sane through enough of The Black Hole to actually see him. I'd willingly watch Battlefield Earth a dozen times in succession before I'd agree to sit through that turd of a movie again.

    1. Steven Roper
      WTF?

      Re: Disagree

      Look, I know The Black Hole is no Citizen Kane, but do you really expect anyone on this forum to seriously believe you, or anyone else with more than two discrete brain cells, capable of sitting through Battlefield Earth even once, let alone a dozen times, regardless of how bad any other movie might be?

      I don't think so, sunshine!

  29. AdamWill

    I'll have some of what he's on

    What a bizarrely rambling article. I couldn't get the image of Alistair sitting on a park bench yelling the entire thing at a bewildered pigeon out of my mind...

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: I'll have some of what he's on

      It's going to get worse. Readers seem to prefer random cult sci-fi references to the computer kit I'm supposed to write about.

      1. MrT

        Re: I'll have some of what he's on

        Just so long as you avoid "Battle Beyond The Stars" - that spaceship had boobs.

        But it influenced the design of Firefly/Serenity, so I guess it must remain in the pantheon.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I'll have some of what he's on

        "It's going to get worse. Readers seem to prefer random cult sci-fi references to the computer kit I'm supposed to write about."

        A man who knows his market.

  30. gaz 7

    Beige kit and fags

    All those people claiming it was UV which turned beige computers brown, and not fags. How does that account that some of the kit we used pull out of offices looked and felt like it had been dipped in tar!

    We used to scrape the shit off and frankly you could have surfaced roads with it.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I painted my bedroom blood red...

    ... gives it that period feel.

  32. QdK

    Want a red computer? The SGI Fuel might be your cup of tea.

  33. Ian Cunningham

    Orange and brown? Those were the colours of ICL. Some of their smaller computers were just resprays. I think the colour was called Hot Tango. Staff wore brown suits with orange ties.

  34. ukgnome
    Headmaster

    'sky white’

    Quite interesting, and I am sure purely by accident - but almost accurate.

    Sky is not an English word, but a Viking word - it basically means grey clouds, it became synonymous with the sky as we know it for obvious reasons. And eventually the word sky became sky and a whole new raft of beautiful words for clouds were invented. (although today no actual clouds can be seen above Portman Road)

  35. janzini

    All I have to say is that having a Cinema 3d smart TV from LG makes me coolest at home. All I need to behold is the magic motion wand from the very highest peak from the shelves where the little evil dwarfs cannot reach.

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