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back to article Male, female Chinese 'nauts prep for trip to Heaven and back

China is gearing up for its first manned space docking mission, which will attempt to latch onto the Tiangong-1 space laboratory in mid-June. The Shenzhou-9 manned spacecraft will blast off sometime this month to try to berth with the Heavenly Palace – the first module of China’s own space station. "The Shenzhou-9 will …

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  1. Thomas 4
    Unhappy

    .....

    That's the second time this week I've clicked on an article, only to find it completely devoid of zero-gravity goings-on. I feel like I'm being shamelessly trolled here.

    9 0
  2. ravenviz Silver badge
    Joke

    Is Schenzhou-9 really the Heavenly Doghouse?

    0 1
  3. Captain TickTock
    Coat

    Successful Touchdown

    will be the real happy ending..

    3 0
  4. Elmer Phud

    Successful touchdown . . .

    . . .will be accompanied by the sound of the West crapping itself.

    shortly followed by 'dire warnings'

    3 0
  5. TeeCee Gold badge
    Headmaster

    "The lab has already managed to couple with Shenzhou-8..."

    What was wrong with the word "dock" in this context?

    Did the presence of a female astronauttaikonaut in the manned mission give you a case of the Freudian slips here?

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Those aren't Freudian slips...

      They are entirely intentional. (This is el Reg, after all.)

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  6. Annihilator
    Go

    Good for China

    If nothing else it will hopefully give the rest of the space industry a kick in the heavenly place and maybe start doing something more than LEO nonsense.

    Bring on the moon missions and give me the moonbase I was promised I would be living on by now!

    2 1
  7. Evil Auditor Silver badge
    Coat

    Shuttle, why?

    Then again "It can send human beings to space stations or space labs.", not mentioning any return. To misquote The Great Leader: China has such a population that it can afford sending taikonauts on one-way missions.

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  8. HFoster
    Trollface

    Space docking...

    Yeah, my depraved mind went there.

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  9. Mike VandeVelde
    Unhappy

    learn from history

    Chinese treasure ships found to be boring and abandoned, followed by several centuries of being raped and pillaged with their own fireworks.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treasure_ship

    Apollo, Skylab, Space Shuttle, deemed expensive and unnecessary...

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  10. Inachu
    Pint

    boy oh boy

    You know for a fact they will try and concieve a child in outer space for sure!

    I am sure the pregnancy will held secret and the baby will be turned into a lab rat.

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    1. Tim Cockburn
      Reply Icon
      Devil

      Re: boy oh boy

      The Chinese still seem to have an odd Lamarckian view that having been in space will change the progeny -they have grown 'space cucumbers' or something where the seeds have been for a voyage. So a lab rat (but single lab rat policy applies so only one ) is not out of the question.

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      1. Jeff Minter
        Reply Icon
        FAIL

        Re: boy oh boy

        That's because that "odd Lamarckian view" is correct. Cosmic radiation that our atmosphere protects us from is exposed. And don't believe me, take it from NASA, who said that anyone on a proposed trip to Mars will suffer from increased chances of cancer and reduced fertility.

        And what is up with that title? Male, female Chinese... could have just said Chinese...seriously, the editorial staff are rubbish.

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