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back to article Given a beardie nerd the kiss of life? There's a medal for that

Have you ever resuscitated a Ruby developer? Heimlich manoeuvred a Hadoop hacker? Applied a tourniquet to a tester in QA? If you, or someone you know in the IT industry, has performed a feat of first aid at work, St John Ambulance would like to hear from you. The charity is seeking first-aid heroes of the tech sector for the …

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  1. Andrew Moore

    In other news RIP Ray Bradbury...

    Will be sorely missed.

    0 1
  2. Evil Auditor Silver badge
    Devil

    coup de grâce

    Once I sent a Cobol developer down to pushing up the daisies. Does that count?

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  3. Christian Berger
    Meh

    Where is the point?

    For most people working in the usual Dunning-Kruger infected jobs, death is the only salvation we can have. What's the use spending more years in hell when you could simply just stop it all.

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  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hacked defibrillator

    I saved someone's life once with a hacked together defibrillator.

    It's odd, I really thought something would have burnt out between the mains socket, the ethernet patch plate and the computer at the other end the first time anyone touched the chassis.

    It's the first aider, I feel sorry for. If she hadn't lent on the chassis when she tried to administer CPR, the boss would have stayed dead and she would have stayed alive.

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  5. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Someone should submit Simon T. for an award.

    Think how much money is saved by not having to have the ambulance folks call the coroner... you just call the coroner in the first place.

    1 0
  6. An ominous cow herd
    Devil

    First aid?

    I've often applied tourniquets to PL/SQL developers who can't read the f%$#%$g specs, but it's the first time I've heard it called first aid...

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    1. tony2heads
      Reply Icon
      Happy

      Re: First aid?

      Around the neck perhaps?

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  7. Graham Marsden
    Devil

    Will the BOFH...

    ... be up for this award...?!

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  8. Crazy Operations Guy

    I accidentally shut off the phones to the help desk once, I'm sure I've some of the users' lives, especially given the tickets they'll submit sometimes...

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  9. Don Jefe
    Meh

    Choking

    One of my staff got chocked on an almond once (true story). He came out of his cube flailing his arms and making funny faces. I Heimliched him. I put my arms around his fatty, sweaty developer belly and saved him . The almond came out and so did some puke. It was awful.

    About two years later I fired him. I should have let him choke.

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    1. frank ly
      Reply Icon
      Happy

      Re: Choking

      The milk of human kindness does not flow in your veins.

      2 0
  10. Dozer
    Flame

    Fire Warden

    I recently "saved" a number of our HR babes from an overly enthusiastic toaster as a part of my duties as floor fire warden....Unfortunately I had to keep the door open for our sweaty developer as well.

    Don't think that counts though.

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    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Devil

      Re: Fire Warden

      Nice, but was it you who manipulated the HR babes' toaster in the first place? And did it work out?

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