You're crap and paid too much for the little work you actually do

Dominic, your articles scare me.

I stopped reading after the first point

Because first its "don't improve the backup process because no one notices" soon becomes "Don't have a backup process because no one notices".

We all know what lies that route. The problem _is_ management. They are lead to believe by some reasoning that IT don't produce value for a company.

This is only partially true, the same way traffic lights don't produce money for the goverment.

Without them, there would be chaos and with chaos there is a loss of income from formally reliable sources.

To thine own self be true?

I've tried some of this kind of thing in the past, but maybe I'm not a good enough actor or just got fed up living a lie, because I couldn't sustain that level of bullshit in my working life.

You have to be honest with yourself, and maybe for some of us INTJs and INTPs, constantly sucking up to PHBs and pretending to be "team players" is just not worth the (potential) extra money. That way madness (or at least major stress) lies.

Given the research that shows that quality of life tends to level out at around 60K per annum, and that Dominic's advice is basically "Learn to be more of a Massive Bellend in order to get greater financial success", I think I'll stick with trying to be an at least occasionally decent human being who understands the concept of hidden productivity gains and makes do with a modest (yet still greater than the average) salary.

God knows that the last 5 years of finding out yet more disasters from financial services companies don't exactly make me feel a great deal of faith in the City's values (which, let's be honest, pretty much boil down to "MONEY, AND %^&*ING LOTS OF IT!").

He who bullshits most.....

...or looks good in an expensive pink shirt and cufflinks.

Seen it all before, talk the talk, make yourself out the big 'I AM' then get the project, pretty much screw it up by pandering only to the Directors rather than the folks who need it, blame your staff and hope for a re-org to move you to another top project leaving the more capable people to clean up your mess. Rinse and repeat.

Oh and make sure you play regular golf with the boss and hang on his every word like a Mini-Me.

The most often phrase when we more able folks discussed those kinds of people (especially after they got yet another promotion) was "but what's he actually delivered?"

If everyone just concentrated....

...on the visible stuff. Most companies would cease to function after a few weeks.

There needs to be those that sacrifice the BMW, free healthcare and share options in order to keep everyone else in a job (including those bell-ends).

No one recognises that though.

If the mindset mentioned in this article is the only way to get anywhere then that's wrong. Very very wrong. Needs to be tempered a little.

Oh! Dominic Connor is back!

Brace for impact, it will get hairy in there :)

True, but...

A couple of points worth noting. Dominic's article is predicated on the assumption that everyone wants to get more money because that is the only thing that motivates them. This is actually not the case. Abraham Maslow wasn't 100% correct, but his hierarchy of needs is still one of the best ways of defining what motivates people. Once you have sufficient money to pay your bills with some left over, and you feel secure in your job, then the pay becomes less relevant than the need to feel that you are achieving something of value; Maslow referred to it as "Self-actualisation".

Whilst it is necessary to walk the line between doing the right thing and using a "pile of bullshit words" as he indicates, I would refer to Wm Shakespeare "To thine own self be true". It doesn't matter how much bollocks you spout, if you are no damn good at the work, you will get found out and your arse will be toast. If you do a good job, you can go home at the end of the day and sleep well. If the employer doesn't appreciate it, that's just life.

"you want to live in a house as big as mine" - Dominic, I don't know how big it is and to be blunt, I don't give a toss. Dick swinging is for emotionally stunted people; it doesn't matter how many toys you have, you can't take them with you. What is more likely to happen is that the tax man will take a huge chunk, and then the relatives will fight over the scraps like wild dingos. The real things of value cannot be paid for in cash. Hearing your child's first words, watching your son's first game of football, or taking your 16 year old daughter to her first formal prom; these are things beyond the dreams of avarice, worth more than all of the bonuses, expense accounts, fast cars and pointless titles. The problem is that quite often people do not realise this until it is too late; and you NEVER get a second chance.

Oh, do grow up for the love of God.

I worked as a software tech support for production printing for Xerox for three years and I made more coming in than half the team members who were there for ten years. Why? Because I had a reputation for knowing my stuff, sure, but most of all because I could translate my natural joy of working with technology to others. I made customers like the stuff. I made them happy. At meetings I brought good points and did mostly the common sense things this guy talks about. So sure, of course I made a lot more money. I never kissed ass. I never said anything if I didn't have anything good or and useful to say. I never talked badly about anyone else. I always endorsed good ideas in meetings, be them from my boss or colleagues. And I never was stupid enough to go to meetings to score points or stay negative shit that doesn't help anything. I was not the best, but because I gave the impression to customers and colleagues that I really cared and was doing all that could be done, which was mostly true at least from my skillset, customers loved me and so did my boss. If you are socially perverted and can't avoid making people lose face, or you can't stop saying sarcasms, maybe scoring points, etc. Then of course you'll get the salary a turd like you deserves. People who don't get what this guy's article is saying are hopeless by now. Its simple common sense. In four words: Don't Be An Ass.

This article is now going viral across Facebook, top stuff!!!

You really are everything that's wrong with both the recruitment and development industries.

The real lesson I am picking up from your articles is to pay close heed to my inbuilt bullshit and numpty detector when dealing with recruiters and contractors alike.

All this is probably true.

But I'd prefer to be paid a little less and remain a decent human being.

I've found that managers are easily impressed by shiny baubles, like a slick transition in a GUI, but don't understand why you might spend days working out how to handle the badly formatted and undocumented JSON spewed out by a third party web service.

The root cause is that programmers operate in a very abstract field, whereas managers deal with the concrete. That's a big culture clash, and since they're in charge, we're going to come off worst.

Dominic's article is about managing the managers, and knowing how the game is played. Sure, not everyone is motivated by earning more, but being able to hang onto what you've got in an era of shrinking incomes and rising costs is a good thing. And being seen as someone who gets things done means you're likely to be given the more interesting projects. That strikes me as win-win...

I don't get the hostility. We live in an imperfect world, deal with it.

Visibility

It's not something that is ideal, or something we want to hear, but the article is for the most part true - sadly it's not how much or what you doing - it's what you are seen to be doing. Visibility is the key word.

However I've found an easy way of building up visibility is to introduce things like reports and statistics. Don't wait to be asked for one, look for ways you can compile statistics on either business processes or infrastructure... if you can spot a trend, or something wasteful that can be reduced, immediately email the report with a useful summary to those you consider the relevant stakeholders - they will lap it up.

What's even better is if you can find a relatively easy report to compile that creates an ongoing demand for up to date stats - you'll find a lot more people will take an interest in your work - even if they don't understand what you do fully. I don't get much thanks for my code improvements or bug spotting and fixing, but it's amazing how much thanks I get for providing the occasional bit of SQL and an Excel spreadsheet!

Most guys are taking this article all wrong.

That's because they're thinking like an NPC, only dimly aware of the big picture, and consumed by the role.

You *are* supposed to do a good job. However, getting recognition for that in terms of cash/promotions isn't tightly associated with the actual work you do/value you represent. It is tightly associated with the Powers That Be's *perception* of the actual work you do/value you represent.

That's the way it has to be. Most managers are technically unskilled labor. Their skills (well, some of them have skills) lie in relational stuff -- how things work as a team, how you appear in public, etc. Dominic took a page out of Niccolo Machiavelli's book on this as an exaggeration - but only slightly so.

Making a backup run 20% faster doesn't translate to a benefit to your boss. He can't take that to his superior, and he can't present this to anyone as a benefit -- because he has no way of proving the benefit. Probably doesn't even know what a backup *is*. In fact, sitting there, head down, doing this sort of thing will actually hurt you in the long run, as then you get a rep as a person who works on obscure things of only marginal benefit -- even if the reality is that the place would fall apart when you leave. How you present that information is a tangible benefit to you and your organization. It would be far smarter to show to your boss that if backups take too long, they impact production, and downtime from that can cost X amount of money. That's something that flows uphill, and later comes back in the form of folding money for you. That's a *lot* better than sitting around, feeling misused because your salary hasn't kept pace with the times, isn't it?

Dominic's not saying "don't do good work" -- but instead, "pay attention to how your work is perceived, and rewards will follow".

Truer words never were spoken.

This is the very reason...

...why I won't work for large corporates, I did in the past and found that there was far too much office politics involved in EVERYTHING, with people back stabbing the brown nosing their way to the top.

I would much rather work for a small Software house, were everyone is on first name terms and people know what you do, as they are interested in you as a person, rather than a bum on a seat.

OK, my pay may not be as good as if I worked in a large company, but the quality of my working life more than makes up for it. I have enough to live on and a bit more besides, that's all I need financially. Chasing more and more money, does not make the job any better, it might make you feel better in the short term but underneath it all, you are still going to be unhappy, if it's a crap job with little or no recognition

Dominic embodies everything that is wrong with the world

Maybe I just work for a good company and have managers who aren't utter tools. My managers understand what I do and have got the braincells they can rub together to be able to understand that someone who sits down quietly, always delivers things ahead of schedule and has his software pass through all review processes painlessly is worth more to the company than employees who make a lot of noise and come in on weekends to 'go the extra mile' and get their stuff fixed *just before* the deadline. Meanwhile I've been sitting on the beach all weekend relaxing because my stuff worked first time.

Sure, they get an extra few hundred quid for overtime but at the annual review when all my boss can do is shower praise on me for always being the one who produces things without fail and without drama, I then suggest that my pay is below industry average for someone of my ability and two months later I get a few £k pay raise.

Maybe I'm just lucky and have intelligent managers rather than grade-A tools like Dominic to work with (and yes, I have (unsuccessfully) used Dominic as a recruiter before - he's just as much of an asinine moron on the phone as he sounds in this article).

dogs

So you believe the server is gonna die and we're all going to be hunted down and killed like dogs.

If you say: "the server is going to die and we're all going to be hunted down and killed like dogs". You get demoted.

If you don't say "the server is going to die and we're all going to be hunted down and killed like dogs", well, then the server dies and everybody is going to be hunted down and killed like dogs. And then you get fired.

It really is a can't win - can't win situation isn't it?

Let's not kid ourselves people: if you're executive, you're f*cked.

If your managerial: you're fine.

The problem is: if everybody is managerial, we're all f*cked.

I was positive to my boss the other day

I congratulated him on his fine imperial clothing. Now where's my raise?

Is he lying?

If you think so ignore him.

Is he wrong?

Then if you don't *care* about getting another salary rise ignore him as well.

But note this. I'm *very* well aware that some offices have people in them is whose *only* friend is the MD or CEO.

They don't care.

They just take care *never* to turn their back on their co-workers.

If you've never had to deal with one of these f***ing weasels you're very lucky. The *only* good news is they are *occasionally* almost as smart as they make themselves out to be.

The one's I've know followed the play book to the let. But note you don't have to *be* a weasel to get the spot. It's just that the ones I've met *have* been.

If you are not, you get to keep the weasels *out* and other people get to work for someone they *accept* rather than merely tolerate.

let me suggest the simple idea that (in meetings) don't come up with a problem without having a *solution* (even a bad one) thought up first.

Your choice ladies and gentlemen.

Fish Size v Pond Size

Me, I'm happily swimming around in the small pond, and being noticed without having to do something either heroic or outlandish.

From down among

the robots.

I read your piece with some degree of interest, and come to a degree of understanding why my pay is crap.

Point 1 is well taken, what you are saying is that I should'nt bother with the latest tool catalogs, or the tooling salesman, or indeed attempting to re-engineer one of our production lines because the boss does'nt understand what I do, and the only way to impress him into giving me more money is to do it when he finally wakes up and demands that I do improvements.

But us geeks are'nt like that.

We like the systems to run as smoothly and as quickly as possible so that we have to spend as little time at work, the most time down the pub and still get everything done.

Screwing up to get more money generally means not screwing up does not get you fired.

I can mis-program a robot to spraypaint the wrong bit and have to spend 30 mins re-programming, but I could jam the painting arm through the fixture and do £10 000 of damage... that wont make me a hero for fixing it in 5 hrs, that will get me down the dole office.

As for intentional screw ups... hello court case

Saying positive and supportive things at meetings.

Jeez you're having a laugh..... Our production meeting are not some happy clappy time to make everyone feel better, they are there to ensure that difficulties in production are brought out, aired, and resolved, so that in future the work can be done quicker, cheaper and we can all go down the pub sooner(see point 1)

If we have to avoid stepping on a delicate little ego, simply because they set the pay rates, then nothing will get resolved and the whole meeting because pointless (although we can play 'buzzword bingo' with anything said by the new line manager)

As for the chocolates for completing a task...grab some reality dude, because 9 times out of 10 the line manager will come along, discuss what you've done while eating all chocolates, then forget everything the following week at the pay appriasals.

So I've have come to the conclusion that my pay is crap because I'm good at my job, dont create 'problems' for me to 'solve', speak the truth, and dont bother with all the silly pointless office politics, because in the main I'd rather spend my time down the pub instead of brown nosing the latest in a long line of junior managers

Boris

PS congrats on getting my longest ever el reg comment,

Be noticed

Making yourself noticed is good advice. I'm a scientist and my first post graduation job after a while the boss took to telling me I wasn't working hard enough because to him I left just before 6pm to pick up the kids. What he didn't see was me coming back in the evenings. So all I did was make sure I was in the visible part of the lab when he came up to his office from boozing in the institute bar. I worked no harder, I just made sure the work I did was noticed. It may as well have been presentism as the comments stopped while my productivity remained much the same (there is only so hard you can work).

I have almost always worked for a boss who does not understand a major part of what I do and who doesn't much care to know. This meant making the boss appreciate the nature of work a hard task, but still worth attempting, without being obsessive about it.

As someone who previosly worked for a large part state owned bank, this was exactly their way of working. You were actively encouraged to increase your profile to senior management usually by sending pointless emails about quite frankly pointless pieces of work. It was bred into the culture and if you did not play the game it genuinely did affect your pay and any potential bonus you were likely to receive. Add to this the fact that they also believed that 20% of staff had to be underachievers it made the culture quite interesting to say the least.

All true, unfortunately

I think Dominic has it right on most, if not all counts. I recognised the CVP ploy years ago and have unfortunately come across the rest as time has passed. I've tried to play the game half-heartedly, but failed cos I don't have it in me.

I'd much rather do what is needed and do it right than worry about higher-ups' perceptions, and it's heartening to see so many commentards with similar views.

I think if you're going to play this game you've got to go all the way, because if you're going to lose your self respect and the respect of your colleagues, you'll need the big bucks to compensate.

Dominic's House...

was probably paid for by his city-hotshot lawyer wife. I'm surprised she didn't get a mention.

El Reg...

I demand you get this genius to write more articles, this was very informative..

Would you rather be right or wealthy?

"If the mindset mentioned in this article is the only way to get anywhere then that's wrong. Very very wrong."

Maybe. But it IS the only way of getting somewhere.

I have in the past few months deduced some of these ideas from first principles, and put it into practice in my current job hunt.

Result? salary gone from $75K with no icing to $120K with 10% super, share options, staff discount card (major supermarket / liquor store / department store chain? 15% discount? why, yes!), allowance for phone, laptop, conferences, salary sacrifice for gym, rent, bills, and a20% performance bonus.

So I have to smile a bit more; I get to pay off my near-melting credit card and look forward to significant increases to my Lego collection.

Have I sold my soul? maybe.

Do I care? no.

Thanks Dominic

Again a slightly tongue in cheek but very true article.

Don't suck up, don't crap up either. I was the worst for this, always saw the problems, always complained loudly, always ended up sidelined. Now I politely plant the seed (takes some practice) withdraw & wait or as above suggest a solution.

Do the stuff that NEEDS to be done properly & quickly (pop them in your report). Advise about the things that SHOULD be done (pop them in your report). Then suggest projects that have clearly identifiable savings / benefits (pop them in your report).

Put them all in words a manager can understand with the risks/benefits, they may not be ELF lords but they get paid more than you for a reason - everyone else understands THEM.

Discuss them with your manager, you will agree on a list of things to do, he will tell you the benefits or who to find them from. You get some cool projects and some of the things that should be done in your list. (with a little bit of luck some other people get the manky other ones) DO THEM WELL and make sure everyone enjoys working with you. Make sure everyone knows it went well.

SMILE - In a big companies people can hear you scream, and they find it annoying!

Took me ages to learn that!

Maybe no pay rise but a lot less stress.

Yeah

Yeah its a pity but the article is basically right.

You really have to lie and cheat and steal in the IT workplace, more than in any other.

I think this explains the massive rise in consultancies, ppl are getting well sick of this neanderthal crap.

Oh dear...

I find it quite ironic that a "Recruiter" has got the gall to call anyone else "crap". Recruitment Consultants are some of the most clueless, brain-dead people I have ever met. It's like they're the only people in the world who are so completely and utterly disconnected from reality. If you are an employer they just play the buzzword bingo numbers game and send you a handful of completely unqualified candidates and if you are a candidate they just dump you in a database and use you like fodder.

No seriously, I'm not generalising here, you are all completely and utterly useless. I am yet to see a single agency defy the stereotype.

You may not be aware of this in your own little microcosm of talentless office-monkeys but this feeling is widespread:

37signals.com/svn/posts/2598-why-are-technical-recruiters-so-clueless

did anyone else thing on seeing the picture at the top.

"Incoming message from the Great Big Head"

Just asking. It is *very* big.

None of which changes the *point* of the article.

Another response from Dominic

@rsharp and others make the point that recruiters are despised as if I didn't know, even though the very first article I ever wrote on the subject was called "My life as a leech". I don't require personal admiration from the readers of my careers articles, since we both know it ain't gonna happen, except maybe if you find the ideas useful, if you don't then I apologise.

I am also a C++ developer having been a contractor for over a decade and one test I'd ask you to apply is whether you'd read the article differently if I had introduced myself as "one of the guys" ?

Retired

i wish I'd read this when I was still working.