back to article Xbox 360 video cable boasts NOISE VIRUS protection

Are noisy computer viruses interfering with your enjoyment of playing games on your Xbox 360? If so then the Xbox 360 Elite HDMI 180o Swivel Cable from 3rd Earth it just what you need. The product's marketing pitch claims that it's a "100% Mylar double shield 1.3c grade cable with anti-virus protection to reduce virus noises …

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  1. Bodestone

    Compatible with all types of screen?

    Any screen that uses a cable connection?

    I have a 32" LCD. That has DVI, SCART and Coax cable connections. That thar cable is not directly compatible.

    1. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: Compatible with all types of screen?

      What do people expect from cheap Chinese junk cables? Honesty?

  2. Ged T
    Facepalm

    I truly hope that...

    ...someone "takes them to the cleaners", in court for gross such a gross, mis-representation of the function that an HDMI cable can perform - Trade Descriptions/Sale of Goods legislation should cover this, to say nothing of the cost they might incur, should someone raise their claim with, say, the ASA...

    Stick that up your socket!

    1. Citizen Kaned

      Re: I truly hope that...

      and what hifi too then? seeing as they recommend HDMI cables that can make skin tones look more real.... seriously.. nobody has ever been able to prove stupidly prices HDMI cables offer better anything over well made, standard compliant cables.

      fair enough if you run over 15m on HDMI you need good quality cable and maybe a booster somewhere but some of the HDMI cable prices are ridiculous. trading standards NEEDS to do something as so many people are being ripped off. this isnt analogue. a data cable can either transmit its signal or it cant and you get noise.

      so many companies try to sell you expensive cables. i actually think they tell their monkeys there is a difference..

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. Swiss Anton

          Re: slightly off-topic

          £1.20! Cripes, I was robbed, I paid £1.89 for one from e-bay just two weeks ago. The scoundrels.

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        Re: I truly hope that...

        It's slightly telling that the 1 person who down voted you either sells overpriced cables or has spunked a load of cash on expensive cables and is an idiot.

        Clue - It's digital. The cable either works or it doesn't. In the world of analogue SCART you could indeed get nasties from cheap cables (although you never needed to spend a fortune to get a good cable if you knew where to look). But with HDMI it either works or doesn't. The cable cannot impact skin tones, sharpness, etc.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I truly hope that...

          You -can- get sparkles, nasty and bizarre streaking, flickers, and so forth. It's bizarre, but I've seen it quite a bit, and at some point, obviously, the cable will be too long. And there are differences - I've done very (verrrry...) long tests with big sets of different tables, driving different monitors and at a range of resolutions. You'll get some odd results - some monitors can work with some cables at N feet, and others can't, for instance.

          But there's more than just works / doesn't - the sparkling and streaking, particular, are quite annoying, and look rather like what you might get with a lousy analog cable. And cable quality -does- have an effect.

          Not at this level, though. These people are just assholes.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I truly hope that...

          > It either works or it doesn't

          Not quite true.

          As SNR decreases, there's a *far* sharper fall-off in perceived quality that with analogue. It does however occur over a finite range, though with suitable coding techniques, that range can be made arbitrarily small.

  3. SuperTim
    FAIL

    mylar?

    how will that stop "virus noises" even if such a thing were likely to plague you? Mylar doesn't stop electromagnetic interference, it is just a good strong insulator. Seems they had a spare space on the back of the packet and made any old bollocks up!

    1. MacGyver
      Trollface

      Re: mylar?

      I'll have you know that I have owned this cable for 3 months, and have yet to catch any "noise viruses". It totally works! 9/10 stars

      /lying

  4. Kane
    Facepalm

    facepalm.jpg

    Title says it all.

  5. 0laf
    FAIL

    I notice their marketing pitch seems to be a 2x1 gif.

    Or possibly you've got a duff link, maybe....

    1. hplasm
      Happy

      That's-

      The Small Print.

      Don't read it carefully.

  6. Whitter
    Facepalm

    Sure they mean triboelectric noise but...

    Does "100% Mylar" actually mean "not 100% Mylar"?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Chuck in a full wave rectifier and some capacitors

    That should stop any viruses getting through. In fact the signal will be very pure indeed.

    1. ArmanX
      Boffin

      Re: Chuck in a full wave rectifier and some capacitors

      Cheaper just to use two serial diodes, one pointing upstream, one pointing downstream.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Probably...

    ... a bad translation from Chinese? Could they mean parasitic noise?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Probably...

      Just what I was thinking.

      1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

        Exactly

        Actually, as far as Chinese-English mistranslations are concerned this one is pretty innocuous and hardly worthy of discussion.

        Discuss this one...

        http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/myl/llog/Gan10.jpg

  9. jai

    it's a digital signal??

    "obtain perfect image transmission"

    HDMI - it's a digital signal, with redundancy and error correction built into the standard. There's no need to pay over the odds for extra shielding. Although, that's not to say you should go with the absolute cheapest available. The very cheap cables might be affected over long distances enough to introduce enough bad data to disrupt the signal, but the thinking you'd still only see if on a 1080p image, 720p should still be able to recover the lost data before you see it.

    1. Citizen Kaned

      Re: it's a digital signal??

      plus, you need a 1.4 cable for 3d 1080p. and 1.4 has ethernet and ARC too i believe. still, good quality 1.3 cables should be able to do 3d anyway.

      punters need looking after from this BS

  10. jason 7
    Facepalm

    Like all those Toslink cables you see listed..

    ...with "gold connectors for extra quality".

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Like all those Toslink cables you see listed..

      Maplin used to sell gold plated battery terminals for cars - it supposedly made the ICE sound better!

      1. Oninoshiko

        Re: Like all those Toslink cables you see listed..

        "Maplin used to sell gold plated battery terminals for cars - it supposedly made the ICE sound better!"

        I think you are missing the point, Toslink is an fiberoptic cable. Atleast battery terminals are actually useing the metal for energy transmission. With Toslink it's just bling for blings sake.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Like all those Toslink cables you see listed..

        maplin used to sell cables for £40 with buy price of 28p, fact my friends! margins on cables are HUGE! you'd need to be daft to spend that on a small length, christ we sold long 10/15 meter HDMI cables for £130+ with a buy price of ~£7.89.

        1. jason 7
          FAIL

          Re: Like all those Toslink cables you see listed..

          I've been trying to tell the folks on the Computer Audiophile website for years that the $300 USB cable they bought still only has $3 worth of bits at best, 50c at worst. I doubt they take 10 hours to put together.

          They never listen.

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

            1. Tim Bates

              Audiophiles

              > couldn't tell the difference if they'd spent twenty quid down Tandy and stood in the corner.

              I'm one of the people who CAN tell the difference... But I'm also one of the people who doesn't see the point in spending thousands of dollars on audio equipment just to reduce the entertainment value of music by making it way too serious.

            2. Citizen Kaned

              Re: Like all those Toslink cables you see listed..

              bad analogy there as i think many people can tell the difference. just like its pretty easy to tell the difference between DVD and blu-ray HD audio. as long as you have a good enough system,

              1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Measurer

      Re: Like all those Toslink cables you see listed..

      Linking tossers kit together

  11. Jason Hindle

    Lost in translation?

    Now all your virus are belong to us!

  12. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Coat

    Sounds good

    Do Amazon do it in a pack with the Denon AKDL1 Ethernet Cable for an extra high quality connection to XBox Live?

  13. TRT Silver badge

    I love the noise viruses make...

    that crisp, crunchy sound as you grind them underfoot.

  14. Measurer

    sparky input

    Mylar is a common backing tape for foil screening in data cables, but is pretty damn useless on its own.

    1. dervheid

      Re: sparky input

      Yup, and it needs to be connected to an earth to have any effect...

  15. ukgnome
    Megaphone

    So

    Will it keep my kids quiet? Thats the main noise in my house.

    1. Herbert Meyer
      Devil

      Re: So

      Depends on how tightly you wrap the cable around their necks.

  16. Stoneshop
    FAIL

    Disappointed

    With the manufacturer name "3rd Earth" and the totally nonsensical claim, I was expecting some esoteric cable priced in the three digits range, and presented not in a lowly blister pack, but in a satin-lined hardwood box.

  17. bazza Silver badge

    Virus Noise?

    I thought all viruses had a noise associated with them. Isn't it normally "Aaaaarrrrrggghhhh bugger" coming from the user when they discover the damn thing's infected their PC/MAC/Android?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Interference can be an issue

    Obviously not caused by virusses but merely other forms of radiation.

    As weird as it sounds (I myself wouldn't believe this either) its true. I have cable TV and also a subscription for digital tv. So basically using a separate tuner which allows me to check up on a lot of different channels.

    At some time I started experiencing issues where the signal seemed to be under the minimum threshold thus causing some channels not to come up, others to display jitter and some of the services of my provider (tv on demand for example) didn't work because "the service wasn't available".

    I called support thinking that there might be an issue with my tuner. But to my surprise they determined that the cause of the interference was actually in the cable between the tuner and the TV. They sent me an extra shielded cable (no extra charge, talk about service) and my problems were gone from that day on.

    SO while this story about "virusses" is obviously a marketing fantasy the advantages of using a double shielded cable are not.

    1. Measurer

      Re: Interference can be an issue

      Yep, the best cables are usually mylar/aluminium(?) foil + a tinned braided screen. The mylar insulates the two screens, thus you can connect the braid at both ends to counter lower frequency noise which is inductively coupled to ground and the foil screen is grounded only at one end to capacitively couple high frequency noise. The high quality cable you received may even have had individually screened twisted pairs and overall screens(!).

      As the screens affect the characteristic impedance of the cores (among other things), it may have been that rather than all those screens, it was a cable with better impedance matching to your tuner box (source impedance) and T.V (load impedance) which gave you better signal to noise ratio and sorted things for you.

      Dimly remembered transmission line theory lesson over!!

  19. Jeebus

    Do the gold plated cable transmit the virus in its purest form?

    What of Monster Cables, are they essentially expensive gold plated supercancer delivery systems?

    1. snowlight
      Go

      Yes and yes.

  20. Matt Tibbitt
    Flame

    I'd buy one if it got rid of background noise on XBL

    Would loud music being picked up through a crappy microphone and played to an entire Xbox Live gaming lobby be classed as a virus?

    If so I'd buy this cable.

    If it could also filter out children screaming down their headsets, racists, bigots and morons from also invading my gaming experience I think I'd buy a large amount of shares in the company.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'd buy one if it got rid of background noise on XBL

      If you don't like racists, bigots and morons then I really don't understand what you are doing on xbox live?

  21. Alex Brett

    Snake oil

    They're not a patch on Russ Andrews - they've had several ASA judgements against them (e.g. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/01/13/russ_accessories/), with no sign of stopping (just tweaking the wording of their claims so they can't be proved wrong)...

  22. Stevie

    Bah!

    CD "rim balancers" that prevent exploding discs

    Magnets that slip around the neck of a wine bottle and magically improve the taste.

    Magnets that you wear on your wrist to (insert imaginary beneficial effect).

    Hi-fi leads that defy physics to bring you a "fuller" experience.

    Anything that comes in a package labelled "homeopathic".

    And now the nonsense comes to console gaming. Had to happen, I suppose.

    Every year it becomes harder not to just give in and go into the Expensive (and Useless) Tat For Credulous Loons biz. Dirty money, but by crikey as I get older I'm forced to admit that some people have it coming.

    1. Jeebus

      Re: Bah!

      Tat for credulous loons. I'm afraid you'll find the iPad has woven ties with the fabric of this ideal.

  23. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

    The Blue Danube?

    That sounds like the perfect music for killing zombies to.

    Also Yakkety Sax.

  24. Wombling_Free
    Thumb Up

    I think you'll find most audiophiles agree

    ...with the virus-in-your-cable theory.

    Anyway, what's wrong with parting rich idiots from their money?

  25. martin 62
    Coat

    you think those are a ripoff look at these:

    one of the worst offenders is monster cables take a look here for an example: http://www.monstercable.com/HDMI/linelist/hdmilist.asp?CAT=1

    but its not just the hdmi cables their headphones are also a ripoff (same quality as £20 headphones)

    1. thesykes
      Facepalm

      Re: you think those are a ripoff look at these:

      please tell me that's a spoof website... they don't really sell at those prices, do they?

      Then again... looking across the office I can see exactly the person they sell to....

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gold connectors

    Gold connectors are actually used in "real electronics" - and obviously not for bling. It helps not because it transmits better intrinsically, but because gold doesn't corrode - ergo, better resistance (ok, wrong wording) to flaky connections long-term - for some types of connector.

    Most industrial/mil/medica, connectors are normal. They really differ in strain relief, keying (for reliability of connections), performance over many insertions/removals, resistance to dust, water, etc... And so on.

    Some of the high dollar ones (well, still cheaper than some of this shit) are beautiful to behold. We're using some now that are almost art. Unfortunately they're nearly impossible to put in...

    On another note, I have yet to see the equal of audio gear bullshit, even among homeopaths. I've seen claims that putting your CDs in a box for a while will improve them, that an extremely expensive jar of plastic chips, place around the room, will make a difference, and, my favorite, a special replacement volume knob, made of high quality wood, and tuned for your amplifier, which helps bring out the [bullshit term] in your CDs.

    Actually, no - there was a guy who you'd call up, and he'd play something to your audio gear through the phone, and improve the sound.

    I shit you not.

    Audiophilia is probably the only crazy stupid industry that actually can't be parodied - it's impossible to come up with claims more outrageous than the real people already have.

    I keep the thinking about how much money I could make in that market, but deep down I know I just don't have the stomach for it. Damn you, conscience! Daaaamn yoouuuuuu!

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Professional Audio

    I used to work in a professional audio environment with several km of audio wiring in it. Never once saw an oxygen free cable with gold plated connectors.

    And how come my professional £150 Beyer studio headphones don't come with gold plated connectors when the 30 quid Sony ones I have do?

    Answers on a postcard. :-)

    1. Stephen 10

      Re: Professional Audio

      Actually most of them do have gold connectors in pro audio and decent grade copper wire. Just checked all of my standard XLR cables and they're OFC with gold pins... Hell of a lot cheaper than Hi-Fi equivalents though. And the gold is there to prevent corrosion as has been pointed out previously. All my mics have gold connectors too btw, as do my standard studio headphones.

      Which is the most amusing bit, audiophiles will spend money to gain spurious advantages that the musicians and producers never even thought about - we actually mix to make sure things sound good on a phone/radio more than high end gear. Most mixing is done using smallish near field monitors, the huge wide-range speakers are usually there to impress the suits and deafen the band, we need our ears for mixing ;-)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Professional Audio

        None of our XLR's had gold pins. I should know, I hand soldered hundreds of the bloody things. :-)

        No idea what grade the cable was. It was just purchased on huge reels from Canford (it was their standard grade stuff).

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Professional Audio

        The mixing-for-phone/radio thing has pissed me off lately. I don't tend to listen to pop music, but if I have to, I'd at least like it to sound good - instead, the shit is either loaded with bass and treble to make up for the goddamned iPod dock bullshit everyone listens to it on, or sounds like tinny-ass speakers because that's what it'll be played on anyway. Mixes are also a lot less interesting, because there's no point in having a bunch of subtlety when your music/environment has about a 20db range.

        Plus, the loudness war. Oh, god.

        Yeah, so all this shit happens in the mixdown and then audiophiles use SPECIAL LINE CORDS! YES!! SPECIAL FUCKING POWER CABLES!

        I swear to god, if anyone ever brags about that in person, I'm going to get an ax, chop a hole in his wall, and rip out and show him the @#$@ romex that runs the same power signal to the big disgusting breaker box in his basement and the big filthy transformer out in the street.

        GAAH.

        Probably then he'd just rewire his house with $100/foot cable.

        ...hmm... there's an idea...

        But I digress.

  28. Gleeb Freenman

    Ah now any one remember Frak! on the BBC Model B. If you edited the load file it had a data string at the end all rem'd out that played the music to captain pugwash if you un rem'd it.

    Ah happy days

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