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back to article Ever wondered how many limp todgers to the mile?

We know our regular readers are keen on unorthodox units of measurement, so you're invited today to while away the time until pub o'clock with an entertaining online Weird Converter. The website's creator explains that "while watching the Discovery Channel one day, listening to the narrators compare the size of a truck to blue …

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  1. Simon Harris
    Coat

    Beer!

    Apparently "1 Average Amount of Urine Produced/Human/Day is equivalent to 4.226752818811 Can of Beer"

    So, that's why lager is sold in packs of 4!

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    1. Andus McCoatover
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      Windows

      Re: Beer!

      You're taking the piss!

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      1. Sir Cosmo Bonsor
        Reply Icon
        Happy

        Re: Beer!

        Urine trouble now!

        1 0
    2. mark 63 Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Beer!

      But I drink more beer than that in a day!

      on average.

      unfortunately.

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    3. MeRp
      Reply Icon

      Re: Beer!

      You beat me to it: 1 Keg of Beer is equivalent to 39.11592192474 Average Amount of Urine Produced/Human/Day

      0 0
  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "1 Inch is equivalent to 2.54000508001 Centimeter"

    Talk about weird units. It's using US survey inches instead of normal inches!

    3 0
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "1 Inch is equivalent to 2.54000508001 Centimeter"

      Are you sure about that? Looks more like a rounding error. I always thought 1 inch = 2.54cm.

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      1. J.G.Harston Silver badge
        Reply Icon

        Re: "1 Inch is equivalent to 2.54000508001 Centimeter"

        Centimeter? One hundred measuring devices? What do they measure, and in what units? Centimetres maybe?

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        1. Anomalous Cowturd
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          Thumb Up

          @J.G.Harston

          Top pedantry, Sir or Madam!

          Have a thumb. ;o)

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      2. Anonymous Coward
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        Anonymous Coward

        Re: rounding error

        They must be using Intel chips then.

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  3. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

    I think it is quite accurate

    Weight of 1 Tom Cruise is equivalent to 453.6176003629 Average Bowel Movement

    1 0
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I think it is quite accurate

      Apparently you can fit 453.6176003629 bowel movements into a single 'big bag'

      Therefore TC = 1 big bag of s**t (according to the weird conversion site - I wouldn't ever personally make such a comparison).

      Now how much does a 'load of old bollocks' weigh.....

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      1. Roger Greenwood
        Reply Icon
        Pint

        "how much does a 'load of old bollocks' weigh"

        I think that would be about 1 x Steven Fry.

        2 0
        1. Anonymous Coward
          Reply Icon
          Anonymous Coward

          it would be easier

          If you stuck to zarlbucks.

          Being a measurement of either weight, tensile strength, volume and size.

          It is simply based on the average size of an erection + or -.

          For instance:

          Zarlbuck + refers to fullness, tensile strength, length and volume.

          Zarlbuck - refers to flop, softness etc.

          Zarlbuck= refers to the difference between the two.

          Easy

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    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I think it is quite accurate

      So how much fudge could be packed into a Tom Cruise?

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  4. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Significant digits, people!

    I hate it when people don't handle significant digits correctly: all of these conversions have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY to many digits - your bowel movements would have to be controlled to picogram levels to be able to use that many digits.

    Yes, it's for fun - but that doesn't mean you cannot get it right, as well.

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    1. Charles Manning
      Reply Icon

      Re: Significant digits, people!

      1.0005677774045 pedantry points to you sir!

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  5. Tikimon
    Happy

    "Wasted Talent" had a good comic about this

    "Lost in Conversion" http://www.wastedtalent.ca/comic/lost-conversion

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  6. joeW
    Happy

    "1 Human Tongue is equivalent to 1.066666666667 Flaccid Penis"

    Not for long....

    0 0
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "1 Human Tongue is equivalent to 1.066666666667 Flaccid Penis"

      That's because 1 Flaccid Penis + 1 Human Tongue = 1 Erect Penis.

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Holmes

        Re: "1 Human Tongue is equivalent to 1.066666666667 Flaccid Penis"

        Yes, but... which tongue?

        0 0
  7. Bodestone

    Crays

    After this article: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/03/08/supercomputing_vs_home_usage/

    I think that all smartphone and computer reviews done by El Reg should also give them a cray rating..

    ipad2: 1.5 Crays

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  8. Nunyabiznes

    Shaq is 22.x flaccid penises. Is that *cold* flaccid penises or room temperature?

    0 0
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      European or African?

      "Shaq is 22.x flaccid penises."

      Are those European or African?

      The Python-esque one.

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      1. admiraljkb
        Reply Icon
        Thumb Up

        Re: European or African?

        You beat me to it!

        0 0
  9. Martin.Hale
    Unhappy

    Hunh...Imagine that...

    "Jennifer Aniston is the equivalent of 249.4896801996 average bowel movements"

    After viewing some of her body of professional work, I would have thought it much more than that.

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  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "all of these conversions have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY to many digits"

    Hoist by your own pedantard!

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    1. PhilipN Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Facepalm

      Re: "all of these conversions have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY to many digits"

      Want pedantry?

      Cough! Splutter!

      Write 100 times :

      Hoist WITH

      Hoist WITH

      Hoist ...

      0 1
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Boffin

        Re: "all of these conversions have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY to many digits"

        Hoisted -by- your own petard.

        From the days of badly implemented gunpowder - in this case, IIRC, a petard was the equivalent of a modern grenade. But to deliver a petard, you had to go running hell bent for leather into enemy territory, divest yourself of the ordnance, and high tail it out of there.

        If you didn't high tail quickly enough, your petard would go off, flinging you into the air - and thus, you would be taken out by the weapon you delivered yourself.

        Or, at least, so I've heard.

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        1. Swarthy
          Reply Icon
          Headmaster

          Re: "all of these conversions have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY to many digits"

          It is by, but the origin is only loosely tied to gunpowder. Petard was a name for a gate-breaching bomb, but it was more to do with being lifted by your own flatulence.

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  11. Alphonse
    Thumb Up

    Llamas

    It takes an iPad about 6 times as long to discharge as two mating llamas.

    I don't know why this knowledge makes my day better, but it does.

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  12. Beelzeebub
    Flame

    Llamas?

    Shirley that's 1 Stig?

    0 0
  13. Supplicant

    What about sound?

    How loud is a Pin Drop in Swedish Wankers?

    1 0
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