In order to save the LFB a call out
I'm ordering pizza
Mrs Locky is a lucky woman indeed
The London Fire Brigade have taken it upon themselves to warn the romantically inclined that a Valentine's date could end with death in a burning hell blaze. Those who expect Valentine's Day to end with liquor, chocolates and a fumble between the sheets could instead find themselves fighting for their lives in a room filled …
I'm supposed to put on the water to boil and then stand there in the kitchen watching it rather than stepping out to do something more interesting. (Seriously, it doesn't take as long to cut the veg as it does for the water to come to the boil, and if I'm cooking meat-and-veg in foil packets in the oven, and rice in boiling water on the top, the meat-and-veg go in the oven long before the water goes on to boil...)
((For the terminally curious: pork chops or slabs of salmon or something of similar size, with peppers and mushrooms, onions if you like them, maybe apples and dried cranberries on pork, dill on salmon, etc. Wrap in foil, in the oven for 45 minutes on French gas mark 4. 3-way white/red/wild rice mix takes 15 minutes to boil, plus 15 minutes to get the water boiling. And I'm supposed to do *what* in the kitchen while it's cooking? (Evidently not nookie on the floor, duh.)))
FAIL for more stupid advice from the H&S-obsessed lunatics running the country I left behind three years ago.
Here you are, sir, your underdone beef. What? Oh, no sir, that's not, er, sauce, sir, that is the beef. Er, more of a stew, really. The dish beside you are the eggs, for that truly fresh experience - it's not even a full strand of DNA until the two meet in your - sir? Oh, yes, bathrooms are that way, we get this all the time...
I love how the NHS tell you not to have takeaways; cook at home or you'll die of heart disease.
Then the Fire Brigade tell you, for god's sake get a takeaway on the way home or you'll burn your house down with that toast.
P.S. Dunno what the Police response is to a case of the munchies, but it probably involves the phrase 'intent to supply'...