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back to article Stab victim protected by Bulgarian airbag

A Florida woman who was set upon by her ex-fiance's knife-wielding new squeeze survived the attack thanks to one of her Bulgarian airbags, according to this report. The unnamed victim was assaulted outside her former boyf's apartment in Melbourne, Brevard County, and allegedly stabbed "repeatedly in the left side of her chest …

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  1. horsham_sparky
    Alert

    Health and Safety law

    Now here's an opportunity for the health and safety police to actually benefit society for once, encouraging the use of "safety" implants..

    Uterior motive? Moi?!? never! *hopes nobody noticed the crossed fingers*

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    2. Old Handle
      Reply Icon
      Boffin

      You do realize you'd have to get them too, right?

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      1. Marvin the Martian
        Reply Icon
        Meh

        There should be more balanced reporting.

        Logically, every time someone is fatally stabbed on the upper body, El Reg should report "lack of boobage kills victim". Whether male or not.

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  2. some vaguely opinionated bloke
    Joke

    Dr Frank Filiberto

    "specialiast Dr Frank Filiberto" specialiases in what, exactly?

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  3. Liam Johnson

    encourage everyone to get them?

    I am not getting them regardless of how safe they are.

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    1. Gary F
      Reply Icon
      Happy

      Oh I don't know...

      Might be more fun than playing with Angry Birds to pass the time. :-)

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      1. Velv
        Reply Icon
        Go

        Much as we all know men like playing with themselves, I doubt they'd get away with playing with enhanced manboobs on a train (or any other public place for that matter).

        Having said that, it might be more socially acceptable than playing Angry Birds

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  4. Kubla Cant

    Tough Titty

    In future, policewomen (and maybe policemen?) will have Kevlar tits.

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  5. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Yeah, but it's what else they do for you

    >> "It happened so fast. I'm like, 'Put down the knife.' I look down, and I was covered in blood."

    It seems they completely impair one's use of English. Fit plastic boobs, and tenses are optional.

    Or maybe she thought she was on bookface.

    Like.

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  6. Chris 3
    Coat

    "Magnificently tittled" surely

    Nuff said.

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  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh NOW I understand!

    I used to wonder about articles like this but now I realize that the full slogan does not fit on the masthead/banner: "Biting the hand the feeds IT, also publishing airbag news whenever we can!"

    I'll tell you, you are -lucky- that the full slogan does not fit there. (And if you wanted to put it on a t-shirt, than the only sort of t-shirt that could accommodate it would have to have a pair of airbags in it.)

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Sigh

      Bootnotes.

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  8. F. D. R. Stuart
    Happy

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVek3emy2Ag

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    1. Juan Inamillion
      Reply Icon

      Life....

      ....imitating art.

      /

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  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jabberwocky

    Beware the Jub Jub Bird

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Beware the Jub *Job* bird, and shun ...

      ... the Frumious Bandersnatchoplasty.

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  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Need my eyes tested

    At first glance I read

    the magnificently-titled Artful Awakenings surgery

    as

    the magnificently-titled Awful Awakenings surgery

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  11. Homer 1
    Alert

    Thanks to Chris Hunter for the tit-off

    I hear the HSE are now looking very closely at safety chesticles, for their application as PPE in the workplace. They hope to make them as common as rigger boots and hard hats, and have already started shooting the training video, featuring Rab C. Nesbitt demonstrating the correct procedure for donning this essential piece of life-saving equipment, with commentary by Patrick Allen.

    http://www.hse.gov.uk/research/ppe/safety-chesticles-consultation.pdf

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  12. Mr Young
    Happy

    I can't take this anymore

    May'be my own pair of jubs would calm me down a little?

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  13. George Nacht
    Headmaster

    Titties and safety go together way back

    I believe older Reg readers must be familiar with term "mae vest" , referring to blow up lifejacket, worn by sailors during WWII, which made them look (remotely) a bit like the famous actress Mae West.

    Very remotely, I hope.

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