Elbonia
Andrew I'm not sure how your Elbonia comment works. (Although being a long-time fan of Dilbert, I can tell you that when you get your music in Elbonia, there is a cardboard box with drawing on to make it look like a radio, and an Elbonian sits inside singing what you wanted; badly)
The collecting societies do not own any of the rights to copy, and so can't sell a permit to copy something just for mud, surely? I would have thought that the collecting societies have a contract with the copyright owners, and in that contract the copyright owners stipulate how much they want for a copy (or reproduction, or playing in public/oil-rig), no?