What about...
frozen kittens?
A Manchester crematorium where "grieving friends and relatives have complained of the cold during services" will tackle the problem by using the "body heat" generated in the incineration process to crank up the temperature, the Telegraph reports. Tameside Council says the energy output is enough to fire Dukinfield Crematorium' …
Why is this news worthy? The crematorium have clearly just wanted to gain some publicity from this.
We have a furnace, we have some water, wow look if we pass the water over the furnace we get hot water!
Good idea but kind of dull. Could they not just have gone ahead and done it and not bothered asking anyone how they feel? Especially grieving irrational people.
In face of the upcoming environmental Armageddon, I believe the greenest thing they can do to heat the premise is to burn hippies. That way they'll save lots of gas, petrol, coal and other creations of the devil, while at the same time will save the planet from the CO2 the hippies would otherwise produse by breathing.
Bad idea, imagine all those poor souls thinking their going to their idea of Heaven only to end up stuck in the heat exchanger coil of the heating system. Mark my words the capacity of the system is limited and one day the pressure of all the souls trying to get out of the heat exchanger will be too great for the system to hold and a portal will be ripped between worlds.
. . just freeze grandad before sticking him in the oven. Even MORE heat will therefore be produced thus keeping the place warmer longer.
now if we turn all our coal / oil fired powerstations into monster crems, we 'kill' two birds with one stone do we not ???
just a thought !!!
( oh, the avatar seemed sonehow appropriate lol )
The origin of almost all of the heat is the gas used to provide the extremely hot flame that is needed to dispose of the remains. Human bodies are not combustible material (being mostly water). Except for really fat ones, and they need to have a wick to burn properly rather than just char.
Even hippies contribute to greenhouse gases when they are burned or buried.
It should be done on a commercial scale. If all power stations were adapted to become corpse-burning, coupled with the efficient air scrubbers which crematoria are equipped with, it could be very cost-effective, cheap power.
The ash that's left gets recycled into fertiliser and is used to grow CO2 -absorbing replacement trees in?
I'm all for it.
For obvious reasons basic science isn't part of a theology degree. Far from being a 'last act of generosity' it'll just mean the operators have to turn up the burner a bit higher to heat the radiators as well. It's bloody hard to burn a human body, as anyone who's tried to dispose of a cheating partner in a campfire will know. They certainly won't give out any excess heat because they have virtually no fuel content.
I don't see any ethical issues in surrounding the oven with pumped central heating pipes to recapture lost heat. All the energy comes from burning gas, not the body. (Gas, of course, being nothing more than refined dead animals anyway.)
> Far from being a 'last act of generosity' it'll just mean the operators have to
> turn up the burner a bit higher
Actually, they are planning to use the "lost" heat (ever touched the outside of a furnace? Even with insulation, it's still shit hot!), so there is no extra fuel used, just less waste. Win-win.