Cruel new punishment for hackers: Twitter, Facebook bans

Before the government start lecturing the public about online security

perhaps, just perhaps, they might get their own fucking act together ?

Cruel?

The punishment seems to fit the crime. In what way is this cruel? I can't see how this could be effectively implemented, but it would seem very fair.

Net Cops

Will they be correcting grammar and citing Godwin's Law too?

cyber-sanctions?

From the same legal system that can't even stop people smuggling mobile phones into jails?

Well, that will work then....

I'm not being funny, but who the hell though that would work. Ok, so I say, yes, I promise not to be naughty, I won't use facebook, twitter. The court orders my ISP to 'monitor' my broadband.

I can still anonymously use any of the following without fear of being [easily] caught

- Pay as you go mobile bought cash

- 3g mifi hotspot (paygo £120 from 3, pay cash, 12 months internet)

- McDonalds (other public hotspots available)

- My neighbours wifi, especially easy if I happen to 'help them' with their computer problems. http://192.168.0.1 admin/password/letmein etc

Well done courts, that'll show them not to abuse the internet.

Repeat after me F A I L.

Reality check

The major flaw in this is enforcement.

Yes they can ban people under their real names but when stirring things up they never use real name accounts anyway.

In reality they force a deemed miscreant into setting up new accounts under yet another pseudonym. This is a double edge sword in itself. If the miscreant is left to continue using their existing accounts, it is far easier for the authorities to monitor them.

That said, once caught, they are far more likely to set up new accounts off their own back to shake the authorities off.

Just an idiot politician wanting to sound tough with no way of enforcing it.

Social media bans for hackers...

Is this a joke.

The plans sound like they were thought up by someone with little to no IT knowledge, while assuming that once the perps are caught, the restrictions will scare the living bejesus out of them into being good. If their not an average Joe/Jane, actually have a bit more than an above average amount of IT knowledge, then the restriction will be a cake walk to get round.

Something that would actually have a chance of working as a punishment, would be to make it illegal to own or possess any IT or communications equipment (apart from a land line with a basic phone).

Advise from the GCHQ spooks, only useful if they actually say what they do in secret.

what about

dishing our a proper punishment and putting the little scrotes in prison? or is that against their human rights of some BS like that? What a joke.

Quick, send round the iPlod...

...that little scrote is tweeting again! Hmmm, good luck enforcing this

I feel safer already!

"People convicted of sexual offences, harassment or anti-social behaviour could have their internet access restricted to protect the public."

Fantastic, protected from people saying rude things about me on the internet! And what will these anti-social, sexual deviants do with all that spare time they now have on their hands, not spent sat at a keyboard because they're banned.....?

Could they just leave abstract digital universe alone and get back to protecting people from, y'know, actual physical harm that does pyhsical damage irl?

Feature creep and control freaks

Every time they get new legal powers, we quickly find it being totally abused by various government departments.

Therefore ... "monitor the use of computers by convicted criminals outside prison" ... is ready made to be abused in so many new ways to monitor people. Everything from endless copyright spying to monitoring political protesters who have been arrested for e.g. obstructing a pavement whilst protesting at the corrupt way the rich and powerful are running the world for their own gain.

They never stop with their need to find ever more ways to control us all. :(

Plus that is before you even add in that history shows whenever countries descends into revolution, other world leaders get very tetchy it could happen to them next as well and given the scale of the so called "Arab Spring" combined with the pain of the austerity measures which are causing growing civil unrest, you can bet our leaders would love more legal powers ready to spy on more people.

Looks like a damned good excuse for another govt safety warning

Is it just me, or does this document's security advice look like it is about five years out of date? There is absolutely nothing new or useful here. Just another excuse to spend more taxpayer money "doing something"!

"Something" will probably be this:

******* CLAIRVOYANCE MODE ON *******************

Switch on TV:

Rear view of evil looking man in black hat (BOFH) furiously typing on a keyboard and muttering things like "fucking TOR", "there's my new Ferrari paid off" and suddenly "curses...." BLEEPING RED INTRUDER ALERT!!!! flashes onto screen.

Loud knock on door:

Followed by:

Loud explosion as door flies across the room.

The tactical squad sweeps in and tasers the still-muttering,frothy-mouthed evil hacker into unconsciousness. The squad then take turns kicking his quivering body down the stairs into the waiting black police van.

Voice off:

Remember kids.... "free" music and films, unpopular political views, free-thinking, pornography, social networking with other misfits.... it just isn't worth it.

Sign up and join SafeNet today! Be one of the good guys. You don't need no stinkin' internet.

This message was brought to you be the UK/US/Hollywood SafeNet Initiative.

cool and dramatic music and fade to black.

CUT! Its a wrap!

******* CLAIRVOYANCE MODE OFF *********

Yuk..... I think I just had a very clear vision of the murky near future.

Sadly, these recurring visions would be a lot funnier if they weren't so likely to happen.

I'm counting on fellow reg readers to come up with an excellent catch-phrase for this inspiring new initiative. You know, something snappy on the lines of .. "Just say no....to warez". And no... my non.existent ad agency has not been commissioned to do this gov infomercial, yet.

The last thing this bloody contry needs is people worrying about posting on facebook or twitter for fk sake.. Why not waste more money introducing pointless policies.