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back to article Greyhound spatters Nashville with semen

A Greyhound bus caused a bit of a rumpus in Nashville earlier this week when it lost its considerable load of bull semen. The vehicle was negotiating a curved on-ramp to the Interstate 65 at around 5am when it discharged four canisters of frozen taurine oysters. The bus went merrily on its way, unaware it had bust a nut. …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    After a quick bit of mopping up

    That'll probably keep Kleenex in profit for the foreseeable future.

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  2. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Won't someone please think of the bulls?

    They will have to produce all that stuff all over again, poor sods.

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    1. Thomas 4
      Reply Icon
      Boffin

      Oo

      Lacking prehensile hands, how exactly.......actually, I'm going to abandon this train of thought before it derails and permanently damages the station.

      1 0
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Coat

        If you really want to know....

        ...it's done using a device called an AV. The A stands for artificial, you can work out what the V stands for I'm sure.

        The device is warmed by being filled with warm water, and there is a collection tube on the end. The bull is introduced to an in-season cow and a doughty volunteer is tasked with placing the bull's todger in the AV.

        You can blame this knowledge on having read some James Herriot books back in the dim and distant past, it is of course possible that it's done differently nowadays as my information is probably 60 years old.

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        1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov
          Reply Icon

          @Brian Morrison

          Surely, must be AW? A for Auto- and W for ...

          ;-)

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        2. Suburban Inmate
          Reply Icon
          Paris Hilton

          Still done like that.

          See Jackass movie 3 (I think)

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  3. Guido Esperanto

    /title

    I used to work for a business whose business was Bulls 'business' and I can certainly attest to its value. Some serious money to be made in getting a prize bull to flunk his junk into a flask...

    2 0
  4. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    $80k?

    No pictures?

    What? No money shot?

    5 0
  5. Andrew Newstead
    Coat

    What?

    Straight up, no bull?

    Coat...

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  6. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    Greyhound spatters Nashville with semen

    "The bus went merrily on its way, unaware it had bust a nut."

    You owe me a new keyboard, mouse, monitor & usb hub.

    3 0
  7. Inachu
    WTF?

    I think this makes it the REAL bangbus.

    Oh and it is not fun to have a bull fall ontop of you.

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  8. Scott Broukell
    IT Angle

    IT ANGLE ?... but then I suppose stories like these always abound ...

    ... come what may.

    0 2
  9. Number6

    Coming up with the jokes

    Presumably when making the turn, the bus mounted a kerb?

    2 0
    1. jake Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      I knew there would be ...

      ... gutter humo(u)r in this thread ...

      1 0
  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh. My.

    Funniest thing I've read all day.

    Note to those about to whinge about IT angles: save your keyboard some wear and tear.

    0 0
  11. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    ba^hullsup

    This will be the definition of a bullsup in my dictionary from now on.

    --Paris as this story is on a slippery slope.

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  12. Elmer Phud

    Title must contain some sort of stuff

    "Mum, is the bus coming?"

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    1. asiaseen
      Reply Icon

      Don't be silly dear

      it's only blowing its nose

      1 0
  13. Charlie van Becelaere
    Paris Hilton

    One of my favourite

    bull-semen-related memories (the only one, actually) is of driving through Iowa or Nebraska (it's hard to tell the difference, really) and seeing a "collection" facility where the large sign out front read:

    "MANY ARE CULLED, BUT FEW ARE FROZEN"

    2 0
  14. Suburban Inmate
    Thumb Down

    $18 - $50 per millilitre?

    Here in the UK, I don't know what the going rate is for bovine bollock batter, but I know us fellas would only get "reasonable expenses" no matter how much muck we chucked!

    2 0
    1. SirTainleyBarking
      Reply Icon
      Unhappy

      They pay you?

      When I think of all the free samples I've disposed of over the years

      0 0
  15. Battsman
    Angel

    The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

    <insert comments similar to "How does one get a bull to shoot off into a straw?" below>

    1 0
  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh dear

    I just sat down with tea and toast and thought "I'll just check The Reg..."

    3 0
    1. Olafthemighty
      Reply Icon

      Could have been worse...

      Glass of milk and some natural yoghurt, anyone?

      1 0
  17. some-reg-reader
    FAIL

    Ohhh ... the bus company was called Greyhound ...

    ... I read that thinking that it was a bus for greyhounds! And then wondered why would greyhounds need bull semen.

    0 0
    1. MajorTom
      Reply Icon

      Greyhound - option #3 for USAnians

      If you can't fly and can't drive, then the only option is to take "The Dog." Trains really aren't an option in the USA.

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      1. laird cummings
        Reply Icon

        RE: Option 3

        Oh, you can cross the country quite nicely by train - But it's bloody expensive, compared to 'The Dog.'

        I've done it both ways, and frankly prefer the train.

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    2. jake Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Funny thing about Greyhound ...

      ... the "Greyhound" logo is actually a Whippet.

      I have a brace of each snoozling on the sofa here in the office :-)

      0 0
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Happy

        Our greyhound...

        ...is currently flopped on the lounge floor on his back, having his ear's stroked by my daughter, with a beatific look on his face.

        0 0
  18. Graham Dresch
    Thumb Up

    Still no pictures

    send somebody down to the Playmobil division to wake the operators up

    ( you could always borrow a cattle prod from the PFY ),

    we are overdue for a Friday Reconstruction

    1 0
  19. Matt Devney
    Coat

    What a...

    ...cock and bull story

    1 0
  20. Player_16
    Thumb Up

    No chickens...

    ...were 'injured' in this event.

    0 0
  21. Steven Roper
    WTF?

    LN2 can only be transported by road?

    Which I assume means it can't be transported by rail or air. But when you consider the relative safety and crash records of air and rail transport compared to road transport, you have to wonder if that's not one of the more idiotic laws on the books.

    0 1
    1. Michael 47
      Reply Icon
      Coffee/keyboard

      I can maybe understand flying...

      Don't know about other forms of transport but i don't think most planes have a pressuried cargo hold, and the pressure drop may cause the LN2 to become just N2 (purely speculation)

      Also, el reg please expect a bill for a new keyboard from my office :)

      2 0
  22. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Just be glad...

    that 3 buses didn't come at once.

    1 0
  23. Fred M

    Oh - a greyhound BUS

    I can't have been the only one who read the title and though "Half a litre?!? That's impressive for such a little dog."

    0 0
    1. George Nacht
      Reply Icon
      Headmaster

      A few comments mentioned it before, but...

      it is only my uneducated feeling, and I can be very wrong, but are Americans, more than any other nation, likely to turn brand names into proper nouns and use them as such? See Greyhound, Kleenex (also in the comments mentioned), also Trapper Keeper, Mace (I was thoroughly disappointed when I found out, that the daring thief, who succesfully assaulted an armored truck in Brazil, armed with mace, was actually using tear gas), any number of housecleaning products, an so on.

      Is it some weird property of English language, that is causing this? or do other nation do this as well?

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Off the top of my head

        Anglepoise

        Hoover

        Blu-Tack

        Sellotape

        Biro

        JCB

        1 0
  24. Mint Sauce
    Thumb Up

    "..bovine bollock batter.."

    Classic :-D

    2 0
  25. Martin Maloney
    Trollface

    I hate to be a language usage Nazi...

    ...however...

    "The load in question was travelling between Columbus, Ohio and a breeding facility in Laredo, Texas..."

    ...should read...

    "The LOADS in question WERE travelling between Columbus, Ohio and a breeding facility in Laredo, Texas..."

    1 0
  26. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    well, one good thing

    at least it wasn't a feeding facility in laredo.

    you know why

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  27. kain preacher

    LN2

    Can and is transported by rail in the US .

    0 0
  28. proto-robbie
    Coffee/keyboard

    There's a poignant story just under the surface...

    Just remember how this stuff is harvested. The bull-wankers have to get back into the wicker cows and do it all over again.

    0 0
  29. Ray 8

    well..

    tickle my prostate

    0 0
  30. pete 22
    Trollface

    @ George Nacht

    You could just Google it.

    0 0
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