back to article Vatican launches second website in just 2000 years

The Vatican is to update its notoriously creaky comms operation this week, with a new easy to use and doctrinally sound news portal. News.va will, apparently, be launched with a papal click of the mouse by Pope Benedict himself, doubtless leading to questions as to whether this will make the site the world's only infallible …

COMMENTS

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  1. Emo
    Joke

    Is this the end of churches?

    That would be an ecumenical matter.

    1. oddie
      Angel

      Yes...

      yes I suppose it would

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Presumably they'll get some great uptime

    courtesy of Papal Infallibility

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mass

    "It is also the Feast of Sts Peter and Paul, and as such a Holy Day of Obligation, on which Catholics are required to attend mass. Which is one way of ensuring that the site is not immediately swamped by the faithful."

    Mass doesn't last all day you know.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      No, but...

      ...Fr Clippit says a good long mass. Four hours he does. Since his stroke

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      But it does

      feel like it

    3. steward
      Facepalm

      Plus..

      It's only a holy day of obligation in England and Wales, not the rest of the UK, let alone the world.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    The Vatican is on the Internet?

    Excellent, I can make donations the only way that seems appropriate.

    Paypal

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Actually...

      When it comes to the Christian church, ANY method to buy redemption is appropriate: cheques, cash, gold bars, postal orders, etc. Or if you're skint, just send your young kids over for a treat.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Latin Version

    I saw a preview of the latin version it started with "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do.........."

  6. Winkypop Silver badge
    Trollface

    How long until.....

    ....some script-kiddies hack it and put up the Fallen Madonna With the Big Boobies, by Van Klomp?

    1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Coat

      I have 3 paintings with 6 big boobies!

      see title

      The long leather one with the sausage in the pocket and I admit my Fronch cod be butter.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Encore.

      Post it again and you'll have the Trinity

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Joke

        The Beast

        or make 666 posts of it...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    just don't tell ...

    Dawkins, whatever you do

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    All these comments, but nothing about the second coming?

    Surely THIS must be a sign that the world is about to end.

    For more predictions of things that might happen in the future, please send all of your money to.....

  10. DAN*tastik
    Flame

    Will it include Manners v 1.0?

    When the last pope snuffed it, I sent them my CV. Wasn't actively looking for a job, but I was younger and my own jumbo would have been a bit of a statement. And I could have done a much better job anyway.

    I'll give it to them that Vatican's site was so slow it must have been under a good DDOS.

    Still, do you think they ever got back to me, or even sent me an automated message acknowledging that they received it?

  11. Tony S
    Joke

    I now have a vision in my mind ..

    ..of the web development team in the Vatican.

    A group of monks with hair t-shirts with geeky slogans (in Latin of course) under their habits, sandals, retro D & G glasses, cans of "papal cola" which they make into pyramids, before knocking them down with rubber copies of the Bible hurled from their rosaries. They'll be sat at desks where the drawers are full to overflowing of odd bits and bobs; reliquaries containing the KFC chicken bones from lunch a week ago, copies of the wicked Bible in plain paper wrappers, the Turin Shroud, knocked off DVD's of "Father Ted", snow globes of Nazareth etc.

    And of course, about half of the day will be taken up with conversations about who has managed to have a conversation with Sister Mary Lazarus!

  12. Rippy
    Devil

    The devil has tainted the sneak preview ...

    it's an incomprehensible mess if Javascript is turned off.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "it's an incomprehensible mess if Javascript is turned off."

    speaking in tongues, probbly

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Papal Stack

    Powered by apache/Linux/AWS ....

    So there you go confirmation that windows is evil and opensource/cloud computing are indeed righteous ....

  15. NomNomNom

    priests online

    facebook is going to need another child saftey button

  16. Robert Moore
    Devil

    As a recovering Catholic

    I am begging everyone and anyone to hack the church website.

    Posting up selected tracts from the Satinist bible might be fun.

    1. Christoph

      Something suitable

      Just hack in an appropriate motto for them, such as

      Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

    2. NomNomNom

      satin

      the satinist bible for men of the cloth

  17. Graham Marsden
    Trollface

    "the world's only infallible provider of news"

    I think the word is "Bull" ;-)

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Angel

    For what it's worth...

    ...IIRC, the idea of papal infallibility was largely rejected after the Second Vatican Council in the mid '60s.

    They also absolved us Jews of responsibility for the death of Christ, which was nice of them. Now if only the United Nations would do the same...

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Angel

    Yay, no more confessional!

    I'll just tweet 100 Ave Maria instead.

    Is copy/pasting or running a script cheating? And if I do it anyway, would God know? If church is like the government, the highest posts are hopefully completely oblivious to technology.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Meh

    2000 years?

    As any fule kno, there hasn't been even a Bishop of Rome for that period, let alone a Pope (even if you count the periods of office of several separately, although they ran simultaneously).

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