back to article Never thought we'd write this headline: Under Siege Steven Seagal is not Above The Law, must fork out $314,000 after boosting crypto-coin biz

Improbable Hollywood ninja Steven Seagal has been fined by America's financial watchdog for hiding details about a paid promotion he did for a crypto-coin investment upstart. The Under Siege star agreed to settle charges that he did not disclose having received cash and digital payments before he made endorsements for …

  1. Keven E

    Seems more like...

    ... a bootnotes article.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Seems more like...

      Bootnotes? Be warned: To learn it's ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate on this wisdom now.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Seems more like...

        Definitely a better use of my time than what I'm doing right now.

      2. Wenlocke

        Re: Seems more like...

        Bootnotestothehead.

  2. WolfFan Silver badge

    They used 'i' three times

    Bitcoiin2Gen. Three 'i's. And triple the stupidity. and triple the scamming.

    I didn't know that Steven "Worst Actor In Hollywood" was still alive. (Yes, he's worse than Adam Sandler. He's even worse than William Shatner. He's a worse actor than Uwe Boll is a director. He's so bad that porn guys are better.)

    1. David Gosnell

      But he can say his mate Vlad's name like a boss.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNA8ssvzm6c

    2. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: They used 'i' three times

      The true star in Segal's films is the editor.

      To make a fat, flat footed 'actor' look like an action star while ambling through a crowd of low paid henchmen, is a remarkable demonstration of skill.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The true star in Segal's films is the editor.

        HE is the editor. And screenplay writer. And many, many, many, many, many, many other key roles. Just fforward to the end credits :D

        1. DrXym Silver badge

          Re: The true star in Segal's films is the editor.

          And doubtless there is very a strong correlation between the awfulness of his movies and his personal involvement in their production. His early movies where he had very little creative control were actually quite good.

          1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

            Re: The true star in Segal's films is the editor.

            I feel that "quite good" is going a bit far...

            I highly recommend Thom Tuck's 'Straight to DVD', a brilliantly silly comedy for Radio 4 - which I've just found: Youtube linky

            I saw one of his films a while back, after hearing the show, so was intrigued enough to watch. All Thom's rules seem to apply, including scene in strip club and crucial fight scene at Baddy's House.

            There's one brilliant bit of editing, where they've clearly had to re-do some dialogue. Either due to an emergency script change, to try to get the plot to work, or because of a technical failure. But Steven Seagal can't be arsed to go into a local studio and read the lines, so they've got one of those impersonator guys to do it for him, they guys who used to dub "melon farmer" over Eddie Murphy's dialogue in the days when ITV wouldn't show 'Beverly Hills Cop' uncut.

            So Seagal has been too lazy to take half a day out of his busy schedule to do some voice work on a film that he "wrote", "directed", starred in and produced! Talk about an artist's attention to detail...

            1. DrXym Silver badge

              Re: The true star in Segal's films is the editor.

              The early movies where he was the actor, were quite good in a stupid 90s action flick way. After Under Siege (which is a very good movie) the fame went to his head and he just crapped one dumb vanity movie after another. Sometimes 3, 4 or 5 of them in a single year. Most of them are such low quality non-theatrical filler that they haven't garnered a single review on Rotten Tomatoes.

              1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

                Re: The true star in Segal's films is the editor.

                I also quite liked 'Under Siege 2'. The one and a bit of his straight to DVD shit that I've seen doesn't even make the effort to have a good baddie. Which is surely (more than) half the fun of a competently made action movie.

                I'm seriously considering hitting the anonymous button at this point...

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: The true star in Segal's films is the editor.

              The best Eddie Murphy dub I ever saw (heard?) was 'You crazy <switch to posh british accent> moving funker.'

    3. scarletherring

      Re: They used 'i' three times

      Well, he's a better actor than he's a writer, apparently.

      https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/02/21/steven-seagal-deep-state-novel-shadow-wolves-joe-arpaio-217031

    4. This post has been deleted by its author

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Worst Actor In Hollywood" was still alive.

      he's alive, although his unmatched acting skills have fallen into certain obscurity in the decadent western societies. That said, I recently had a glimpse of him, chasing a 40 yr old Romanian police car in Bukarest (or being chased, same difference). I also have a vague impression, he keeps churning his masterpieces pretty regularly, perhaps even more than one per year. Strangely though, I never saw him in any of those Russian, Soviet-style WW2 works of art of late, I think he should divert a bit before they stuff him and put him at Madame Tussauds...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So he's up $700k ish on the deal, even after paying the penalties and stuff? Huh. You'd think occasionally, they'd make the fine *MORE* than the benefit accrued via unlawful conduct.

    1. Glen 1 Silver badge

      only for poor people

      1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

        only for poor people

        I believe he has them covered:

        https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107076/

        (oops... that was frozen-beer-guy. Train-chef-guy better watch out!)

    2. Persona Silver badge

      That really depends on how quickly he got rid of them. Currently Bitcoiin2Gen price is:

      1 B2G = 0.00092$

    3. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      The SEC release states that the first half of the payment "represents his actual promotional payments". So no surprise that Bitcoiin2Gen failed to deliver on its promise, but I am surprised they gave him as much as they did.

      1. DrXym Silver badge

        What they gave him are some digitally signed tokens which had no intrinsic value. The ICO requires other people buy in so he could exit. Presumably that was his intention and for all we know what actually happened.

        1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

          Perhaps, but I interpret the statement as indicating that he actually got his hands on 157,000 real US dollars as a result of this deal.

    4. MJB7 Silver badge

      Don't forget the taxes.

      He'll have had to pay tax on the full $1,000,000 (although he may be able to write-off the subsequent losses on the $750,000 that's now worth nothing).

  4. Chairman of the Bored Silver badge

    My Freudian Slip is showing

    I kept reading"bit coin" as "bit CON". But knowing El Reg, perhaps that's intentional?

  5. IGotOut

    So...

    ...how many straight to DVD movies does he need to make? I'm sure he can throw about 50 a year out

  6. Dinanziame
    1. phuzz Silver badge
  7. Dinanziame
    Pint

    I'm drunk

    It's Friday morning 0:40am — what do you expect?

    I hope whoever did this now understands whatever it is they were supposed to be careful about — whatever that is. And happy new year to them.

  8. Phil Kingston

    >resides in Moscow, will make two separate payments of $157,000

    Something tells me they're going to have send Chuck Norris over to actually extract those payments.

  9. fidodogbreath Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Who could possible care...

    ...what Steven Seagal thinks of cryptocurrency exchanges? There can't really enough people who do to make his shill endorsement worth a million dollars...can there?

    1. iron Silver badge

      Re: Who could possible care...

      Well they didn't really pay him a meeellion dollars, just $250k and some worthless scam currency.

  10. DeathSquid
    Mushroom

    How was he to know it was illegal? He's just a cook...

  11. jake Silver badge

    I was going to make up a bad three-way pun ...

    ... based on the three primary meanings of the phrase "bad actor" ... but you know what? I can't be arsed. I have better things to do with my time.

  12. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    Crapto currency

    (Sic)

  13. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

    Ah, so Steven "Wooden face" Seagal is still alive after all...

  14. DrXym Silver badge

    Suckers born every minute

    Virtually all "initial coin offerings" are just a scam - "buy our scrip for $$$ and you'll make a fortune trading it!!". Except of course you don't and all your money disappears in a puff of smoke.

    The scammers often liken it to an initial public offering, except of course when you buy a share in a company it has an intrinsic value and various legal guarantees that a digital token does not.

  15. Donn Bly

    Celebrity Endorsements

    While I don't have a problem with the fine (do the crime - do the time) my problem is with the premise that disclosure in a case like this would have made any difference.

    Any individual who invests in something like this who DOESN'T assume that a celebrity endorsing it is receiving compensation is already too stupid for the lack of disclosure to have an impact on their decision process. It doesn't matter whether the amount of compensation is $100 or $1 Million.

    1. DrXym Silver badge

      Re: Celebrity Endorsements

      It might not have made a difference but it certainly nailed Seagal to the wall in this instance. And if there are laws that require it then any celeb prepared to whore their good name for a shady bitcoin service should probably do their legal due diligence first.

  16. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Unhappy

    Shurely some mistake!

    Dear El Reg,

    Did you say in this article that Steven Seagal issues webinars? Surely this must be an error on your part. As I can't believe I live in a world where people go online in order to be educated by the wisdom of Steven Seagal. That would not be a good world to live in.

    I therefore demand that you remove this from your article on the grounds that you've clearly made it up! And if you haven't, I'd rather not know anyway.

    Thanks. I'm just off to read 'How to be a Nicer Person' by Donald Trump...

  17. Alistair Silver badge
    Windows

    Well, assumption is the mother of all fuckups.

    (yes, its sad that I can connect that)

  18. Claverhouse Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    Looks Like...

    an Oriental mastermind villain in one of those dumb superhero comic films.

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