back to article Breaker one-nine, this trucker's rubber ducked, facing a year in the slammer for Acer laptop thefts

Gevorg Kevliyan, a resident of Decatur, Alabama, was sentenced earlier this month to a year in prison and three years of supervised release – for stealing 900 Acer Chromebook laptops from a truck he'd been hired to drive. Back in 2017, according to the US Attorney's Office for the Northern District of Georgia, computer maker …

  1. macjules Silver badge

    1 year imprisonment?

    That sounds remarkably lenient for a country which seems desperate to mimic the UK's 1723 Black Act.

    1. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

      Re: 1 year imprisonment?

      Interesting Wikipedia article, thanks.

      "The Act introduced the death penalty for over 50 criminal offences, including being found in a forest while disguised"

      1. Alister Silver badge

        Re: 1 year imprisonment?

        being found in a forest while disguised

        Robin Hood, men in tights...?

      2. TheProf Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: 1 year imprisonment?

        I wonder why a forest needs to wear a disguise.

        1. Kane Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: 1 year imprisonment?

          "I wonder why a forest needs to wear a disguise."

          Stops people seeing the wood for the trees.

          I'll, er, just go, shall I?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: 1 year imprisonment?

            Yep.

            Chop chop!

          2. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

            Re: 1 year imprisonment?

            It's not a barking matter.

      3. NoneSuch Silver badge
        Coat

        Was Sympathetic Until...

        ...I saw he had gambled with $11K. Wife claims desperate circumstances, but his first thought is "toss it all on red."

  2. ridley

    Tracing

    I am a bit surprised, given the nature of Chromebooks, that they have not been able to trace some of the Chromebooks and then back up the chain.

    1. W.S.Gosset Silver badge

      Re: I am a bit surprised, given the nature of Chromebooks, that

      ...anybody would bother stealing them.

      Resale value about $0, surely?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Kevliyan's wife, two sons, and sister submitted letters to the court attesting to their father's otherwise good character"

    That's Alabama in a nutshell.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Kevliyan's 3rd wife, his two sons who are also his cousins, and sister, who is also the mother to his two sons, submitted letters to the court attesting to their father's otherwise good character

      FTFY

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Alabama intensifies.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Obviously she failed the Alabama Sprint Test (can she run faster than her brothers).

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lenovo X1 Carbon Thinkpads

    If someone asked me to deliver a box-full of X1 Carbon Thinkpads, fully speced out, I wonder how tempting it would be to "lose" one of them ..

    1. phuzz Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Lenovo X1 Carbon Thinkpads

      Just come up with a better excuse than "nah mate, the truck was empty when I picked it up"...

      1. MiguelC Silver badge

        Re: Lenovo X1 Carbon Thinkpads

        He must have watched The Irishman and thought that the disappearing beef act could be easily replicated. Guess the authorities thought about it too.

  5. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble? Silver badge

    GBI agents also found that Kevliyan had gambled at the Virgin River Hotel and Casino in Mesquite, Nevada, with over $11,000 in cash after arriving from Chicago.

    Kevliyan's wife, two sons, and sister submitted letters to the court attesting to their father's otherwise good character and difficult circumstances.

    Perhaps the "difficult circumstances" were brought on by a significant gambling habit? If the defence is "I stole these things because I can't afford to feed my family" I have some sympathy, but when the defence becomes "I stole these things because I can't afford to feed my family because I have a gambling problem I don't intend to do anything about. Then pissed it up the wall in a casino anyway" my sympathy gland dries up.

    1. Lomax
      Stop

      And yet, gambling addiction is a thing. Keenly encouraged by a myriad of shady businesses. Why it remains legal, while other drug dealing is not, I cannot understand.

      According to the [Australian] Productivity Commission's 2010 final report into gambling, the social cost of problem gambling [in Australia] is close to 4.7 billion dollars a year. Some of the harms resulting from problem gambling include depression, suicide, lower work productivity, job loss, relationship breakdown, crime and bankruptcy. A survey conducted in 2008 found that the most common motivation for fraud was problem gambling, with each incident averaging a loss of $1.1 million. (Wikipedia)

      Basically, addicts commit crimes on behalf of gambling companies, who promptly off-shore the stolen cash. Drug dealers at least provide an actual product.

      1. The First Dave

        Simple - Government find it easy to put a tax on gambling, but much harder to tax drug sales.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          I always find it ironic that it took a Labour government to open the doors to the gambling firms by easing the rules in the UK. They also relaxed the licensing laws and we now have a larger drink and gambling problem.

          I guess the extra taxes helped pay for their largesse.

          1. macjules Silver badge

            Because, as Margaret Thatcher once observed, the problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.

            1. Eaten Trifles

              One of the many problems with Thatcherism seems to be that you eventually run out of publically-owned assets to flog off on the cheap to your mates.

        2. Nick Ryan Silver badge

          Insurance is gambling. Much of (investment) banking is gambling.

          As long as the state can be bribed to ensure that the gambling companies (insurance, banks, gaming) never lose then it's an acceptable industry. For a hint of the money thes gaming companies make, look at the prime time adverts, usually in sporting events, and count how many different gaming gambling companies there are represented.

        3. W.S.Gosset Silver badge

          Re: Government find it easy to put a tax on gambling, but much harder to tax drug sales.

          Tell that to anyone who smokes. Or goes to the pub.

          1. Alan Brown Silver badge

            Re: Government find it easy to put a tax on gambling, but much harder to tax drug sales.

            The problem with the illegal drug sales isn't the lack of tax, it's the massive profit margins involved and what people will do to maintain those margins (including keeping things illegal any way they can - if legalised, they're out of business)

    2. batfink Silver badge

      Or maybe he was just trying to launder the ill-gotten gains?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Breaker breaker one nine any breakers out there with their ears on I got an eighteen hammer down wall to wall of Acer Chromebook looking for a seat cover or anything else you got come back with your twenty and how many candles you're burning over over 10-4 rubber ducky

    1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Pig Pen Yeah, we definitely got the front door, Good Buddy Mercy sakes alive,

      Looks like we gotta ourselves a Chromebook!

      Icon = Lot Lizard

      1. StargateSg7 Bronze badge

        Re: Pig Pen Yeah, we definitely got the front door, Good Buddy Mercy sakes alive,

        You forgot there's Smokies on the Ground and Bears In the Air! 10-4 Rubber Duck!

        ...

        And for the win ....

        We got ourselves a .C.O.N.V.O.Y. !!!!!!!!!!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd5ZLJWQmss

        ==

  7. TrumpSlurp the Troll Silver badge
    Coat

    Type 2 Diabetes?

    Given the prevalence in the dear old USofA that can't be a very effective plea.

    .

    .

    .

    .

    Hmmmm.....my client has terrible piles and incarceration would result in cruel and unusual punishment?

    .

    .

    -------------> The one with the cream in the pocket, please?

    1. BitCoward

      Re: Type 2 Diabetes?

      "Like a clown's pocket"

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