back to article How do you like them Apples? Cook drops 'record' 30 times* on conf call as iPhone sales up, services up, wearables up

A year ago, as Apple CEO Tim Cook mustered the strength to defend Apple's strategy in the face of shrinking sales and profits, he could have been forgiven for starting the day by privately weeping into his sugar-free cereal and unsweetened almond milk – the breakfast of Valley kings. El Reg assumes there will have been no such …

  1. Kevin Fairhurst
    Unhappy

    Profits are up, but taxes are down?

    Trebles all round, then!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Profits are up, but taxes are down?

      Plus ça change

    2. DougS Silver badge

      Re: Profits are up, but taxes are down?

      Because this was the first full fiscal year for the new lower US corporate tax rate.

  2. overunder Silver badge

    "growth in Thailand, Mexico, Poland, Malaysia, India, Turkey, the Philippines and Vietnam."

    Poland?

  3. Peter Black

    Crappy sales?

    Personally, I’d kill for sales that crappy.

  4. Korev Silver badge
    Coat

    ElReg's pun bureau appears to have missed the "Stuck Record" puns - they could have used it to iPad out their story a bit more...

    1. Psmo Bronze badge

      iDon't know. Maybe they Maxed out.

  5. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
    Coat

    Did you...

    ..just call Tim Cook a horrible anus?

  6. spold Silver badge

    Probably not going to be helped as the Chinese supply-chain falls apart due to the coronavirus

  7. Gil Grissum

    Get in line, to buy that monitor stand.

  8. D@v3
    Megaphone

    Most powerful (xyz) ever...!

    It has always struck me as an odd thing to make such a big noise about. Every year in the iPhone Keynote, they make reference to 'The most powerful iPhone we've ever made', and the 'most powerful processor' and various other things. I mean, it's not like they're going to be up on the stage and say, 'This is the iPhone 12, it's not quite as powerful as the one we released last year, but it's still good, honest, go buy it'.

    1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Linux

      Re: Most powerful (xyz) ever...!

      If they made it less powerful, they'd get better battery life so would obviously talk about the positive aspect.

  9. batfink Silver badge

    480 million services subscribers

    480M "subscribers" huh? Is that 480M people actually paying them money each month (as we would recognise a "subscription"), or is that just, say, 480M have an Apple ID?

    1. Steve Todd

      Re: 480 million services subscribers

      You need an Apple ID to use an iPhone or iPad, and there are considerably more than 480M of those in circulation, so I’d guess the former.

      1. VicMortimer

        Re: 480 million services subscribers

        It's entirely possible to use an iPhone or iPad without an Apple ID, if you're happy with the stock apps you don't need one, and if you jailbreak you can install apps without one.

        Sure, it's not a common use case, but it's absolutely possible to do.

    2. O RLY

      Re: 480 million services subscribers

      People who bought Apple devices recently received a year of TV+, so they're "subscribers" in that they have a subscription, but not one for which they directly paid. Some mobile carriers also provide gratis temporary subscriptions to Apple Music. I'm sure the expectation is that the services will have insinuated into punters' lives enough that they will convert to paid users in the manner marketeers are wont to call "frictionlessly."

    3. jliv

      Re: 480 million services subscribers

      Subscribers have one or more subscriptions. I have about half a dozen Apple subscriptions, but only one Apple ID. Some are free for some period, others are billed monthly or annually. Lot’s of room for spin here.

  10. Sirius Lee

    Trade war

    So much for the devastating effect of the trade war with China. Not a mention of it's deletierious effect by Cook or Hood. It wasn't raised as an issue in the Microsoft Q3 call with analysts either when they announced $129m profit per day up some huge percentage.

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