back to article Xerox names the 11 directors it hopes will oust most of HP's board and put $33bn hostile takeover to shareholders

Xerox is done playing mister nice guy – the company has named a slate of directors it wants to shoehorn onto HP's board to spearhead its £33bn hostile takeover bid. The copier giant will nominate 11 directors at HP's upcoming shareholder meeting in an attempt to gain control of the company's 12-person board. The list includes …

  1. Tom 7 Silver badge

    All this over something you put on a bacon sarnie?

    No ketchup!

  2. Chris G Silver badge

    Interesting list

    Xerox clearly doesn't think HP needs anyone new on the board of directors who has direct experience of PCs, printers and 3D printing, I wonder, does Xerox have anyone on their board who is ofay with their business?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Interesting list

      Yeah because when I think HP I think competent technical minded board.

    2. Steve Foster
      Devil

      Re: Interesting list

      Do the existing HP Ink^Hc board have any such qualities?

      PS it's "au fait".

      1. Mike Moyle Silver badge

        Re: Interesting list

        "PS it's 'au fait'."

        To be absolutely fair, I don't think we know Mr. or Ms G's ethnicity.

        https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ofay

        1. Steve Foster

          Re: Interesting list

          I don't think the definition given on that page makes any sense at all in the context of the commentard's statement.

          My suspicion (given the recent vintage of the page, and that's it's not an entirely trustworthy source) is that this is an attempt to retrospectively define the word after it's appeared as a corruption of "au fait", in similar vein to other ongoing online (particularly Twitter) corruption of existing English phrases (cf. Dave Gorman's Modern Life is Goodish "catphrase" and others).

    3. Jon 37

      Re: Interesting list

      None of that matters. This board is supposed to rubber-stamp the Xerox takeover of HP, get huge bonuses and then be made redundant, leaving the running of HP up to Xerox and Xerox's existing board.

      So the important qualities are: willingness to vote for the Xerox deal, and experience of takeovers.

      Since they're not going to be running HP for any significant time, PC experience is irrelevant.

      1. Cuddles Silver badge

        Re: Interesting list

        "leaving the running of HP up to Xerox and Xerox's existing board."

        I think you misspelled "Carl Icahn" there.

  3. mevets

    The intersection of prophesy and potential.

    Apple is worth somewhere around 1.5T$ now.

    The core foundation of Apple's software technology came from the prophets at Xerox 40 years ago; I think they got a pizza and some beer for it.

    Shortly before that, HP repeatedly rejected a product design for a small computer system from one of its employees. That design became the first Apple computer.

    I hope HP gets it together, because when these two clown cars link together to form a clown train, there is no guessing what future derailments are in store.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: The intersection of prophesy and potential.

      "That design became the first Apple computer."

      Partially funded by the sale of an HP calculator.

      1. Old-dog

        Re: The intersection of prophesy and potential.

        AND the involuntary contribution of a few chips by hp.

  4. Morten Bjoernsvik

    Gordon Gekko takeover

    XRX market cap ~8Bill$ with major stockholder finance rebel Carl Icahn 83 years and Trump Buddie wants to buy HPQ with a market cap ~32Bill. Just supporting this Financial Ratatouille will drain all the earnings of both companies for years to come. No wonder HPQ are so hostile.

    1. Mike Moyle Silver badge

      Re: Gordon Gekko takeover

      It won't take anywhere near that long, since Icahn's strategy has perennially been to lumber the victim with the debt to pay for its own unwanted takeover, strip-mine it of anything salable to pay dividends to the stockholders, and leave the husk to declare bankruptcy and screw the employees, retirees, and other unsecured debts. It'll all be over in a year or two.

      1. Claverhouse Silver badge

        Re: Gordon Gekko takeover

        He must have wanted Romney as president...

  5. Long John Brass Silver badge
    Coat

    So the HP board are worried...

    That they will loose their Autonomy?

    Yes yes; I'm going, no need to push

  6. eldakka Silver badge
    Pirate

    HP responded by calling the nominations "a self-serving tactic by Xerox to advance its proposal, ...
    So HP are saying Xerox are operating as per standard for nearly every other company in the world -- including HP?

    What's their point?

  7. Jay 2

    Well he would say that, wouldn't he?

    "We believe HP shareholders will be better served by a new slate of independent directors who understand the challenges of operating a global enterprise and appreciate the value that can be created by realising the synergies of a combination with Xerox," CEO John Visentin said in a statement.

    Said a Xerox bloke. I'm wondering what synergies they are then. This all still smacks of Ichan (and associated cronies) getting a shitload of money and then fuck everyone/everything else when he cashes in and as the artcile describes what's left of this abobination collapses under the weight of its own debts. Maybe someone to Xerox et al the concept of a turkey voting for Christmas/Thanksgiving.

  8. Old-dog

    A merge

    Of losers.

  9. Claverhouse Silver badge
    FAIL

    Not For You To Say, My Little Chum...

    "We believe HP shareholders will be better served..." CEO John Visentin said in a statement.

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