back to article London cops seeking £600m mega IT contract to knock 'towers' sprawl into 'one throat to choke'

London's Metropolitan Police Service (MPS) has published its first procurement notice to consolidate its IT "towers" in a contract worth £600m over five years. Currently the body's IT contracts are structured via a multi-supplier "Towers Model". This had previously been viewed as a way of breaking up huge IT contracts with …

  1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Trollface

    So, £190 million on cancelled projects

    It's okay, Brexit is going to save £300 million per week. UK Gov is going to be rolling in moolah, no problem !

  2. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Let's be rational...

    Oh, wait:

    It's the MET, so all bets are off.

  3. tiggity Silver badge

    same old suspects

    Look at their existing providers

    Place your bets that new providers from that gang or similar fleece the taxpayer big companies (coincidentally with big hospitality budgets, not averse to later employing someone (or relatives of) who flung them a big juicy contract)

  4. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    It doesn't matter how many or how few contracts you have if you don't have the skills and knowledge to manage them.

    1. Nolveys Silver badge
      Trollface

      It doesn't matter how many or how few contracts you have as long as you can increase the budget by ten fold over ten years while providing nothing of value.

  5. monty75

    MPS awarded its contracts to Atos, BT, DXC and Accenture.

    Yeah, I think I can see why this didn't work.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Joke

      They didn't have Capita too?

      1. Nunyabiznes Silver badge
        Joke

        Nah, they didn't hit the Crapfecta!

        1. GeorgeTuk

          Actually laughed out loud on the train...fantastic term!

  6. macjules Silver badge

    Just one more throat to choke ..

    Noticed that this the second time in 24 hours that someone has used that expression. Met police aren't about to engage with DXC are they?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Just one more throat to choke ..

      Our CEO used the same term more than once in a quarterly presentation this very morning.

      Does this indicate some sort of top-level group mind controlling our industries?

      I'd use the RoTM icon, but I'm posting AC because...

      1. Commswonk Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Just one more throat to choke ..

        Does this indicate some sort of top-level group mind controlling our industries?

        Those who run the courses and award MBAs would be a good place to start looking...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Just one more throat to choke ..

      "Met police aren't about to engage with DXC are they"

      My reading was that the Met currently use DXC for hosting.

      I'm unsure what the Mets experience has been, but if it matches a number of FTSE companies, I suspect DXC may have been uninvited to the next contract party...

      1. macjules Silver badge

        Re: Just one more throat to choke ..

        Thought it was GDS-directed policy for everyone to use the UKGOV AWS system now? Much as I am aware that Home Office have a history of "sod that, we're using Capita" I was recently told that that was all behind them now.

    3. Tim99 Silver badge

      Re: Just one more throat to choke ..

      I heard the expression in the 1970s in a lab where we couldn't get instruments from one manufacturer to talk reliably to computing integrators from another. A later version was "One arse to kick".

    4. NeilPost Bronze badge

      Re: Just one more throat to choke ..

      Isn’t that threatening behaviour or actual assault ??

      Sounds like a Police Caution in order, or it being arrestable if actioned.

    5. Edgewater

      Re: Just one more throat to choke ..

      I remember this phrase being banned by a former employer from being used in client-facing documents. Along with "open kimono" and "servicing the customer."

  7. Roger Kynaston
    Black Helicopters

    Imagine if

    They announced that they could deliver £x millions by bringing it in house!

  8. EastFinchleyite

    Muiscal chairs

    Original Plan A (single throat choking) doesn't work so Management move to Plan B (Towers Model).

    After a few years of change management, consultants, bonuses and salary increase to motivate them, Management decide Plan B doesn't work so lets go back to Plan A. More throat choking.

    How many years before we move to new Plan B with more and better Towers? I hope those Towers aren't clad with dodgy materials.

    Perhaps better management should be considered.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Muiscal chairs

      "Management decide Plan B doesn't work so lets go back to Plan A. More throat choking."

      It won't be Plan A, it'll be Plan C. After all Plan A was the bad idea of someone no longer with the company. Plan B was the idea of someone just departing. Plan C is that of the new management so it must be right. The fact that it may appear to the uninformed eye like Plan A is just an error on your part; if you were better informed you wouldn't be looking at it so critically.

      1. sofaspud
        Thumb Up

        Re: Muiscal chairs

        "The fact that it may appear to the uninformed eye like Plan A is just an error on your part; if you were better informed you wouldn't be looking at it so critically."

        That is beautiful. There's no clapping icon so have a thumbs-up instead.

      2. EastFinchleyite

        Re: Muiscal chairs

        I stand suitably admonished. I am also learning how to spell but its taking a while.

    2. DiViDeD Silver badge

      Re: Muiscal chairs

      This is exactly how BP manages IT Operations:

      Outsource - because in house IT is not our core function

      Bring In House - because 3rd party vendors are too expensive/don't understand our business/ don't put BP's best interest first.

      Outsource - because in house IT is not ...

      and so on.

      Ad Bloody Infinitum.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rearranging things

    I hear that the crash-resistant giant-purchasing policy is referred to as Project Titanic. The specification being let to contractors is codenamed Deckchairs.

  10. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Meh

    It could be worse....

    The Metropolitan Police could have announced that they reached a deal with Crapita to run this project...

    1. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: It could be worse....

      The Metropolitan Police could have announced that they reached a deal with Crapita IBM to run this project

      There, FTFY.

  11. RLWatkins

    "Towers"!

    Did some nitwit executive stumble while trying to remember the word "silo"? And then, pulling something directly out of his a**, say to himself, "You know, that sounds pretty good. Impressive. Visual. Compelling. I think I'll keep it."

    This is how the Marketroid Dialect of IT terminology evolves.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Towers"!

      Less "silo" and more "Grenfell"?

      Poor taste I know...

      1. NeilPost Bronze badge

        Re: "Towers"!

        ... it’s better/reduced scale to the Titanic reference above.

  12. steelpillow Silver badge
    Coat

    Someone has to say it

    Fawlty...

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