back to article What a boar! Wild pigs snort and snuffle €20k worth of marching powder stashed in Tuscan forest

As if Italy's wild boar population wasn't enough of a problem for farmers while it's sober, some of the brutes have rooted out and destroyed a €20,000 stash of cocaine hidden in woodland of eastern Tuscany. At least this was the claim made by four suspected drug traffickers who'd been wiretapped by cops, The Local reports. …

  1. Hans 1 Silver badge
    Happy

    Boxer

    enjoying a boar a week ?

    Amateur, here, Obelix will show ya:

    http://jeromeestebe.blog.tdg.ch/media/00/00/1918647610.jpg

  2. Marketing Hack Silver badge

    This is just the street dealers trying to get out of their debt to their supplier....

    It's the drug dealer version of that old school homework dodge "my dog ate it."

    1. macjules Silver badge

      Re: This is just the street dealers trying to get out of their debt to their supplier....

      Except that you do not get a ‘D-‘. Instead you get “Where are my drugs you thieving bastard? And don’t tell me your pig ate them.”

      1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

        Re: This is just the street dealers trying to get out of their debt to their supplier....

        Then you die.

  3. Chris G Silver badge

    After a good snort

    Piggy talked his chops off!

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      WTF?

      So the pig ate my drugs?

      Funny you should say that.

      Now they will be eating you.

  4. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
    Joke

    Lost in translation...

    Someone mistranslated "Pigs might fly!" into Italian as "Boars getting high!"?

  5. Marki Mark
    Go

    but we like to imagine they were off their ever-loving tits and rampaged through nearby farmland, closing the night with a marathon session of piglet-making to wake up with a monstrous headache and wondering why that truffle in particular was so moreish.

    What an excellent imagination! :)

  6. LDS Silver badge

    "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

    Coldiretti are professional whiners. Especially since every time the government accepts some kind of emergency they get subsidies. After that, they will try to sell you some products at ridiculously high prices. And there is a strong push from hunters to be allowed to fire on whatever moves.

    1. Terje

      Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

      Wild boars are a problem more or less everywhere, they increase in population fast, they can cause a lot of damage to fields or lawns. To top it off they can also be quite dangerous. Since we have been very efficient at killing off all natural predators there is nothing but human hunting and food limiting the population.

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

        Actually, in many places in the countryside they adapt fairly quickly to living along side humans. Problems occur when they move into potential new habitats, such as suburbs, where they quickly reap havoc before deciding it's not worth staying. Not that I'm trying to downplay such incidents, but they're not widespread and generally do pass.

        But on the list of really dangerous critters don't forget to include elephants, grizzly bears, hippos and, as we learnt recently on QI: weaver birds.

        1. Joe W Silver badge

          Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

          These events are regular and have been for a while. At least where I live. Yes, it is close to the forest, so it is our own bloody fault. But they do dig up all playgrounds and crap all over the place.

          On the other hand: they are really tasty... So at least we can try eating as many of them as possible...

        2. Tom Paine Silver badge

          Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

          Can confirm that a small group of boar foraging for slugs, worms, grubs and roots can rotovate a lawn or flowerbeds as efficiently as the machine, without the ludicrous Travis Perkins hire fee.

        3. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

          But on the list of really dangerous critters don't forget to include elephants, grizzly bears, hippos and, as we learnt recently on QI: weaver birds.

          I am surprised you left out the most dangerous one, responsible for more dead humans every year than any other two of the list (and off the list for that matter) combined: the Cape buffalo.

          1. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge

            Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

            ...the most dangerous one, responsible for more dead humans every year than any other two of the list (and off the list for that matter) combined: the Cape buffalo.

            Deer kill about as many people each year as do Cape buffalo and they are not even in the Top 10. A very short internet search yields this list of nasties:

            Mosquitoes

            Snakes

            Dogs

            Freshwater snails

            Assassin bugs

            Tsetse flies

            Scorpions

            Ascaris roundworms

            Crocodiles

            Tapeworms

            Hippopotamuses

            1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

              Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

              That's an odd list containing parasites and vectors: mosquitoes and tsetse flies don't do the killing themselves and they're also not really competing with human for space and resources.

      2. Dr_N Silver badge

        Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

        The boars don't kill as many as trigger-happy drunk hunters do though.

        1. Tom Paine Silver badge

          Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

          AFAIK recreational hinting of boar is illegal in the UK. They're culled in the Forest from time to time - as are deer, and more controversially these days, badgers - by professionals.

          No, not Bodie and Doyle.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

            Here in California, taking of wild boar[0] isn't recreational either. Here, we call it "varminting". They are a serious problem, and it's pretty much open season on the pests. Doesn't mean they aren't tasty, though ...

            [0] Actually a cross between European wild boar & domestic pigs, although they look more like the wild varietal than domestic ... Released for hunting purposes in the late 1880s, they have become a major pest in some parts of the mountains of central California.

          2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
            Coat

            Free range gammon.

            Not just for Christmas, they'll be enough left over for new years.

            Why yes it is a hunting jacket.

      3. LDS Silver badge

        "they increase in population fast,"

        Or their habitat keeps on being reduced. Italy is the European country with more "soil" consumed - and that even if it has large mountainous areas.

        Here some of the few remaining "wild" areas are being destroyed to build useless toll highways - also so expensive most people don't use them - just for political reasons. Even a good part of the "Oak Forest" planted after Seveso environmental disaster forty years is planned tol be destroyed for this reason.

        It didn't happen yet only because the private companies building them are almost bankrupt because banks stopped financing them as soon as they saw the expected revenues from high tolls aren't coming, so just a part of the road was built. But meanwhile wildlife had to move somewhere else...

        Anyway Coldiretti whines when there's the Sun because it doesn't rain, then whine when it rains because there's not the Sun - and all because they want easy money from subsidies while keeping prices high "because the harvest didn't go well because of the weather". Always. Every year. Every season.

      4. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

        @Terje - "nothing but human hunting and food limiting the population"

        Bloody hell, those boar are hardcore if their population is only restricted by the number of humans they can hunt down and eat!

        Or did you mean, "hunting by humans"?

      5. Aussie Doc
        Joke

        Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

        That 'human hunting' sounds a tad anti-social.

        1. Venerable and Fragrant Wind of Change

          Re: "Coldiretti – Italy's largest farmers' association – led protests in Rome"

          Why? Humans are far and away the biggest and most problematic pest species.

          Trying to scapegoat wild boar for human crimes goes back a long way. See for instance Siegfried's murder.

  7. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

    Wild Boar..

    ... are creatures that should really not be messed with. In the old (pre-firearms) days they were one of the feared hunted creatures - thick-skinned, can absorb a lot of damage, well-armed and they don't die easily.

    There's a reason why boar spears have a crossbar just before the start of the pointed bit - it's so that, when you've stuck the spear in, the boar can't push itself all the way up the spear and rip your guts out with its tusks.

    It knows it's going to die and really, really wants to take you with it. Presumably in Boar-Valhalla, they get served by the humans they have killed.

    1. usbac

      Re: Wild Boar..

      I went wild boar hunting once. Once!!!

      I put a .44 Magnum round through the head of one from about 3ft away (I surprised it in heavy brush), and had to run like hell as the thing chased me for about 200 yards. You could just about put your hand through the hole in the skull (both sides), and the damned thing was able chase my ass down!!!

      Hard to kill is an understatement...

      1. Dr_N Silver badge

        Re: Wild Boar..

        Why were you riding on a donkey? Amateur mistake.

      2. jake Silver badge

        Re: Wild Boar..

        You surprised a wild boar in heavy brush? Got within 3 feet of it?

        Hard to believe is an understatement ...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Wild Boar..

          More likely the boar knew he was there from the moment he stepped into the woods and just didn't care about the stupid human until it started shrieking in surprise and making other loud noises.

        2. Cederic Silver badge

          Re: Wild Boar..

          Nah, I've been 4-5 feet from an old male boar in woodland.

          I wasn't even trying to be quiet, it just didn't care about me. Maybe if I'd been carrying a rifle things would've been different - the boar in that wood were hunted and eaten.

          But it's easy to believe someone got that close to one. The big old males aren't interested in fleeing. The young mothers tend to be much more shy, as long as you're not interfering with their extremely cute (and tasty) offspring.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Wild Boar..

            >Nah, I've been 4-5 feet from an old male boar in woodland.

            "Squeal, piggy..." ?

          2. jake Silver badge

            Re: Wild Boar..

            Where do you find your pigs? I've taken wild boar/feral pig crosses in every State west of the Mississippi River (except Washington), and several east of it. I have also participated in wild boar hunts in various places in Europe. But I've never observed the behavior you describe. They are either skittish, taking off for the next county at the first sign of humans, or they are in kill mode, with nothing in between. Ignoring humans definitely isn't on their agenda.

            That boar must have been very ill or very old or both. Or perhaps genetically it was more domestic than wild, despite it's appearance (I've seen this in feral hogs with a large percentage of Tamworth, for example ... but most experts wouldn't consider them "wild boar", despite their looks).

            Regardless, they are (nearly) all tasty ... I have acorn finished San Benito Mountain bacon curing as I type.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Wild Boar..

              I crossed paths with one the other day. It was about 10m away round a bend in a path.Looked at me and the dog and just ambled down to the river and waded over to the opposite bank.

              Wouldn't eat them. They're supposedly riddled with all sorts of nasties.

      3. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

        Re: Wild Boar..

        Hard to kill is an understatement...

        Ask Duke Nukem to accompany you the next time. He's dealt with pig-cops before, so he'll know how to deal with an enraged oinker*.

        *Now, there's oinkers living in the forest, and there's oinkers (South African) clamouring for more gravy from the taxpayer. Don't confuse these two oinkers.

        But both kinds of oinkers are very difficult to kill off.

    2. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Re: Wild Boar..

      I'm a bit sceptical about "wild boar" being used for drug sniffing.

      Pigs, perhaps.

      1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        Re: Wild Boar..

        Unlikely, police officers don't have a good sense of smell.

  8. Blockchain commentard Silver badge

    What, no jokes about pigs and the police?

    1. Psmo Bronze badge
      Go

      Maybe judged a bit boaring?

  9. Dwarf Silver badge

    I supposed that we have to assume that they were snorting it ??

  10. Claverhouse Silver badge
    Mushroom

    This Land is Your Land

    God Made the World for Animals as much as People.

    1. Bendacious

      Re: This Land is Your Land

      An unbroken series of random events between the big bang and now led to the genesis of life on Earth and the evolution of boars and humans. Humans should try to tolerate animals living alongside them, including large disruptive mammals because the loss of animal diversity could have serious consequences for us. Even if it doesn't, it seems morally right that wild animals should be allowed to exist.

      1. martinusher Silver badge

        Re: This Land is Your Land

        >Humans should try to tolerate animals living alongside them, including large disruptive mammals....

        Of course we should tolerate wild animals -- up to a point. The problem with wild pigs is that absent any predators they'll take over, destroying anything and everything to live and prosper. (Just like us....) They also have a bad attitude towards anything that gets in their way. (Again, just like us). A small population is quaint, a large population is bad news.

        Not all wildlife is cuddly. Animals have their own agendas and priorities, they don't care what we think. They're only interested in whether we pose a threat or can be eaten. They are not interested in ecology or conservation (a lot like many of us, unfortunately). Which means we, as top predators, have to step in to keep things under some semblance as control.

        1. Aussie Doc
          Mushroom

          Re: This Land is Your Land

          Does beg the question, though. Who are the boar's predators???

          I watched a video where a boar was charging towards a hunter. Hunter had a large rifle and got a head shot in that caused the boar's head to move backwards some.

          The bugger then continued full flight to charge said hunter.

          Boar's probably still bopping around the woodland wondering why it has a headache or something.

          1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

            Re: This Land is Your Land

            Does beg the question, though. Who are the boar's predators???

            Used to be wolves and bears, both gone extinct (thanks to humans) in the places where the wild boar population must be controlled by humans.

    2. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: This Land is Your Land

      Consider this statement, next time you are swimming where Great White Sharks dine.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: This Land is Your Land

        I have run across sharks of many stripes whilst surfing and boating here in Northern California, including Great Whites. Not a single one of them has ever showed any interest in making me into a snack, much less a main course.

        Try not to look like a wounded seal ... you'll live longer, in any walk of life.

        1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
          Unhappy

          "Try not to look like a wounded seal ... you'll live longer, in any walk of life."

          Profoundly true anywhere.*

          From the arctic to the antarctic (where they make a good lunch for polar bears) to the offices of corporations large and small (where workplace psychopaths will also find you an amusing chew toy).

      2. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: This Land is Your Land

        I find sharks easy to avoid. Of all the creatures that are higher than me in the food chain, it's the mosquitoes that are the biggest risk.

        icon - the one with the insect repellent in the pocket, no flippers.

        1. Kane Silver badge
          Joke

          Re: This Land is Your Land

          "I find sharks easy to avoid."

          As do I, by virtue of being a land dweller. However, I also adhere to the natural paranoia of distance; after all, an unfounded fear of tigers is inherent to my delicate psychology, the fact that there are only 116 miles between my current location and that of two of the most ferocious hunter/killers on the planet is merely a matter of distance.

    3. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge

      Re: This Land is Your Land

      It is estimated that there are 24 million feral pigs in Australia. A couple of hunters that I worked with in FNQ told me that pigs were more dangerous than snakes, spiders and crocs. If you're in the bush without a gun and disturb a pig you will have to climb a tree and be prepared to stay up there for a long while :(

      https://www.business.qld.gov.au/industries/farms-fishing-forestry/agriculture/land-management/health-pests-weeds-diseases/pests/invasive-animals/restricted/feral-pig

      1. Bendacious

        Re: This Land is Your Land

        Outside any topic being discussed here but I just wanted to say that I absolutely love that URL. "industries/farms-fishing-forestry/agriculture/land-management/health-pests-weeds-diseases/pests/invasive-animals/restricted/feral-pig" I so wish any of my websites was that well organised. It is a thing of beauty. Well done business.qld.gov.au

  11. chivo243 Silver badge
    Pint

    Pigs snorting coke

    Pigs snorting coke ~ Priceless, really, nice one!

  12. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
    Coat

    So the cops can't find..

    Any of the squealers?

    Also adds a new dimension on marinating pork in coke...

    Mines the one with the Iberico ham in the pocket.

  13. This post has been deleted by its author

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You could say that

    It was Boarish.

    Or would that be Grand Theft Boarto ?

    (gets coat, suspiciously heavy and stuffed with plastic baggies containing white powder)

  15. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    off their ever-loving tits

    And they do have rather a lot of tits to be off!

  16. Tom Paine Silver badge

    Fleetwood Mac 'Tusk' joke here.

    I lived in the Forest of Dean when boar first turned up there. Coming across a mum with a litter of youngish piglets and very very cautiously stalking them through the woods for ten mins is a memory I'll take to my grave (their existence was only a rumour at that point, Jan 04.) Eventually the mum stopped, turned to the slope to where I was hanging onto a tree, and sent a really pretty direct species-to-species telepathic message. The gist was "Alright Attenborough, I know you're there. If you know what's good for you, you'll CTFO right. This. Second. Understood? Cushti. Nobody needs to get hurt...."

  17. Happy Ranter
    Happy

    Where does Mike Tyson buy his boar?

    Just asking for a friend

  18. Danny 2 Silver badge

    Coke, as a sombulescent

    I've been given, and tried, cocaine three times at parties, and each time I passed out and pished myself after one line. Apparently for a few people theirs livers produce cocaethylene if they've been drinking. Apparently I'm luck to be alive because at parties I always have alcohol in my system before getting offered cocaine.

    It's ruined a few friendships, pishing on their floors for no apparent reason after taking their stimulants and passing out when everyone else was fine.

    I had to choose between alcohol or cocaine, and I'm Scottish and poor so not much of a choice.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Coke, as a sombulescent

      And you did it twice more?

      1. Danny 2 Silver badge

        Re: Coke, as a sombulescent

        The first time I thought it was a coincidence. The second time I thought I'd been MickeyFinned. After the the third time I looked it up on the internet.

  19. Blackjack

    Why thry just don't hunt them already?

    Make it a sport or something.

  20. skeptical i
    Devil

    Now we know ...

    ... why the last little pig yelled "Wheee! Wheee! Wheee!" all the way home.

  21. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
    Pint

    besieging stables?

    Now I have an image of boar manning pigging trebuchets, and horses trying to manhandle horsehandle equinehoof (?) a cauldron of boiling oil onto the stable roof, to repel the attackers.

    1. Is It Me Bronze badge

      Re: besieging stables?

      Ursine not equine I believe. But love the image

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: besieging stables?

        Bears are not horses, not even if you squint.

      2. A Nother Handle
        Coat

        Re: besieging stables?

        Porchoofle.

  22. Aussie Doc
    Coat

    So..

    ...technically, the pigs squealed on the dudes?

    My coat and hat please.

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