Headline from the future (or Onion headline from today)
FTC chair Joe Simons resigns to become Executive Vice President for Government Affairs at Google. Compensation unknown at this time.
"I was inspired by the fine example of FCC Commissioner Meredith Atwell Baker," Simons explained, "who voted to approve Comcast's acquisition of NBC Universal and resigned a few months later to become NBC Universal's senior veep for government affairs. And let me tell you, that was one hell of a payday for Meredith! I mean, Michael Powell served out his full term as FCC chair before rotating out to become president of the National Cable & Telecommunications Association, but who has that kind of time anymore? Why should members of Congress hog all of the gravy? There's plenty to go around, especially if you've never been caught banging an intern! Rolling monopolies and deferred payoffs are where it's at, baby! They said the Federal Trade Commission was a stepping stone to nowhere, but look at me now! Ka-CHING!"
On a more serious note, nothing is preventing the Senate Committee on Small Business and Entrepeneurship from subpoenaing the FTC report. If they don't, that means either (1) Senator Hawley is grandstanding or (2) a majority of the Committee is shaking down Google for campaign support and deferred-payoff promises of their own. Or both. It's win-win-win -- so long as you're not taking consumers and Google's competitors into account.