back to article So, what's fashion going to look like on the Moon in 2024? NASA's ready to show you the goods

NASA has unveiled two new space suit designs for future astronauts on its Artemis program, a mission to send “the first woman and the next man" to the surface of the Moon by 2024. The main suit worn by the explorers living on a lunar shuttle will be the Orion Crew Survival System. Built with safety in mind, it’s made out of a …

  1. Little Mouse

    Orange works well. But what colour will the Lunar Penal Colony guards wear?

    1. Flywheel Silver badge
      Facepalm

      So they're finally moving Gitmo off-offshore! That Trump fellow is such a chancer!

    2. MyffyW Silver badge

      what colour will the Lunar Penal Colony guards wear?

      Denim blue, obviously, with a figure-hugging zip up the front so Officer McCullough can smuggle phone chargers in for Alex.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Alien

        Re: what colour will the Lunar Penal Colony guards wear?

        I've checked my fashion rehash calendar, and flairs should be back in by then, so he wont need that pocket.

        Strange, all the photos of spacesuits from Space 1999 featuring flairs seem to have disappeared; I distinctly remember them appearing in at least one season.

        1. Spherical Cow Bronze badge

          Re: what colour will the Lunar Penal Colony guards wear?

          Wear your flares with flair ;-)

    3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      But what colour will the Lunar Penal Colony guards wear?

      Bright pink.

  2. DrBobK

    Orange is the new white. (sorry)

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      White → Orange

      White flight suit already tested.

      Anyone ready to place bets on how people land on the moon first:

      A) Shelby's SLS+Orion+LOP-G+Transfer+Descent+Ascent

      B) Musk's Superheavy+Starship + Lots of tanker trips.

      1. phuzz Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: White → Orange

        or

        C) My new launch system involving a really, really, big elastic band. I don't have a spacesuit lined up yet, but I'll be providing a thermos of tea and some sandwiches for the trip.

        1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

          Re: White → Orange

          Well, if you are going to be like that Dmitry Rogozin recommends a trampoline. SpinLaunch say they got $40M of funding but I have more confidence in this.

        2. Andy The Hat Silver badge

          Re: White → Orange

          phuzz gets a thumbs up for the vision of Dwayne Dibbley heading towards the moon ... :-)

        3. John 104

          Re: White → Orange

          @phuzz

          Don't forget the crackers!

        4. DiViDeD Silver badge

          Re: White → Orange

          or

          D) Large, well equipped Chinese launcher, spacious Chinese orbital insertion module and specially designed Mahindra "this time for sure" lunar lander.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Orange is ...

      Finally they catch up with Space 1999 technology!

      Not citing the colour of space suits in 2001, obviously, because that was later :-)

      1. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Orange is ...

        Purple wigs and silver mini-skirts!

      2. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Re: Orange is ...

        I thought I recalled the Invading Aliens of UFO wore orange spacesuits

        But after a quick online search they appear more red than orange (or at least blood orange).

        1. TeeCee Gold badge

          Re: Orange is ...

          I recall pretty much bright scarlet, with ringmail appliqué sections[1] as well.

          [1] They were so obviously 1970s aliens. No aliens would be seen dead dressed like that these days.

      3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Orange is ...

        Space 1999 is on telly again! On one of those channels like CBS Drama or something, in the evenings after whatever flavour of Star Trek they're currently showing. So we're probably talking channel 80ish on Freeview. I watched the first ever episode last week, as I happened to spot it when channel hopping.

        Sadly I don't think I'll be continuing to watch the series. But it was a nice little bit of nostalgia. And not as disappointing as Blakes 7, when I got hold of the DVDs a few years ago.

        1. hakuli
          Thumb Up

          Re: Orange is ...

          "Space 1999 is on telly again! On one of those channels like CBS Drama or something, in the evenings after whatever flavour of Star Trek they're currently showing"

          It's on the Horror Channel (Freeview Ch. 70.) at 20:00, after ST: Voyager...

          Why the Horror Channel? I'll leave that up to you...

          1. AndrueC Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: Orange is ...

            Why the Horror Channel

            Brian Blessed?

            Only kidding.

            More likely it's the violations of the laws of physics that are pretty horrific. But to be fair the Eagles take off from their pads in complete silence if I remember correctly. A pity then that anyone observing from a nearby room probably would hear something at least at first.

            I loved that show as a child but it left me conflicted. I mean the whole premise is pretty ridiculous and then to have the moon drifting from star to star and worse, allowing time to launch Eagles in order to investigate passing planets was outrageous. And then in the last (I think) series they had that alien woman who was a shape shifter and at one point she becomes a bee in order to fly through the air vents. It's difficult enough explaining how a natural bee gets enough lift so a bee with the mass of a well developed adult humanoid is a serious stretch :)

            1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
              Alien

              Re: Orange is ...

              Horror Channel - Possibly due to "Deaths Other Dominion" Brian B gets a nasty sudden exit & Dragons Domain.

              Also available on www.shoutfactorytv.com (With Captain Scarlett & Thunderbirds).

      4. xeroks

        Re: Orange is ...

        this was my first thought too.

        https://images.app.goo.gl/9YYG9MPHCzfhEoeK9

        The helmet colour & design isn't quite right yet though. All those years of development and all they needed was some spray paint and an off the shelf motorbike helmet.

  3. PerlyKing Silver badge

    Snark away

    Are the trainers part of the outfit?

    Also, what's with the "x"? Why xEMU instead of EEMU (or xxMU)?

    1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
      Go

      Re: Snark away

      Anything with X in the name is way more cool. As any fule kno.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Snark away

        NASA used to tack x onto the end of any preliminary design, X for experimental

        The they built an experimental Crew Rescue Vehicle and decided that they had spelled a girly-part word which might cause astronauts (or at least congressmen) in southern states to faint and have the vapours.

        So they now put the x in the front

        1. Cuddles Silver badge

          Re: Snark away

          "The they built an experimental Crew Rescue Vehicle and decided that they had spelled a girly-part word which might cause astronauts (or at least congressmen) in southern states to faint and have the vapours."

          CRVX? Maybe I'm just not up with euphemisms from the youth of today, but I can't help feeling I'm missing something.

          In any case, the prototype for the Crew Return Vehicle was the X-38, which used standard nomenclature from before NASA even existed, and is not recorded as having had any association with girly bits at all.

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: Snark away

            >CRVX? Maybe I'm just not up with euphemisms from the youth of today, but I can't help feeling I'm missing something.

            sorry it was Crew 'Return' Vehicle (I suppose Rescue sounds bad) and yes somebody at Nasa did decide that CRV-X sounded like cervix and that was close enough to a lady's front parts that it was obscene and so the project was renamed to X-CRV before being scrapped as a totally failure.

            IIRC it was reported and widely mocked on el'reg at the time

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Snark away

        "Anything with X in the name is way more cool. As any fule kno."

        They considered iEMU but were frightened off by Apple lawyers. Rod Hulls lawyers were not frightening at all and were ignored.

  4. Blockchain commentard Silver badge

    Are they really just re-using Gitmo jumpsuits?

  5. Rich 11 Silver badge

    Retro: 1999

    there’s also the iconic space helmet that is now made of a material that is not only lighter and stronger than the old suits but keeps out noise too

    In space, no-one can hear you gossip.

    1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: Retro: 1999

      That one sent my WTF!?! o'meter of the scale. Wait... what?... But it's a space suit... for in space...

      1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Retro: 1999

        Ah hang on... I just spotted the pic caption:

        to wear when they're inside lunar spacecrafts

        I humbly acknowledge my epic reading comprehension failure and submit for re-neducation at my nearest facility.

    2. Andy The Hat Silver badge

      Re: Retro: 1999

      In space, no-one can hear you complain about the water level ...

      I also noted they were still talking too much about gloves and fingertips on the ISS spacewalk the other day ...

      I really hope they've sorted these issues in the new design ...

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Retro: 1999

        I doubt you'll ever (or at least with the next few years' tech) solve the gloves issue, when working in a spacesuit. They've got to insulate against extreme cold, and heat, and provide some radiation shielding as well as keeping the air in. That makes them thick. So if we develop some wonder-material that can do that and still be as thin as silk, then problem solved.

        Until then, I'd have thought that the second best solution is some sort of robot hand with lots of sensors and operated from a feedback glove - which does your delicate work. And can be operated at various flavours of remoteness - so you only need astronauts at the site, in space, on rare occasions.

  6. NerryTutkins

    like the colour

    With climate change, this is what we're all going to be wearing in 30 years. By that time I'll be in my late 70s, so the nappy function is also going to be handy.

  7. revenant Silver badge

    Eh?

    The helmet keeps out noise. What noise would that be in the airless environment the suit is designed to operate in?

    Or is it so that the wearer can concentrate on running for the airlock without being distracted by the blood-curdling screams of the other crew members being hunted down one-by-one by the alien lifeform that they really, really, shouldn't have brought aboard?

    1. imanidiot Silver badge

      Re: Eh?

      Since this is an intra-vehicular suit, the noise from the bloody big rocket launching them, the electronics systems, life support systems, etc. I doubt it would be sufficient for protection during xenomorph attacks.

      1. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Re: Eh?

        I doubt it would be sufficient for protection during xenomorph attacks.

        So there's still a chance to corner that market. Excellent.

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: Eh?

        I doubt it would be sufficient for protection during xenomorph attacks

        No - you need a gurt great exoskeleton for that. And to be female.

        After all, Ripley is the only one that survived other than the cat..

    2. John Robson Silver badge

      Re: Eh?

      Was exactly my thought - I am assuming that it will be noise from the life support systems.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Re: Eh?

        Personally I think I'd be comforted by being able to hear that the life support systems were still ticking over.

    3. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

      Re: Eh?

      As I just noticed, to my own embarrassment I'll add, the pic caption indicates the suit is for wearing inside the spacecraft.

  8. STOP_FORTH
    Trollface

    Missing feature

    They need to print CCCP in red on the helmet, then it will look like a proper space-suit!

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Missing feature

      It needs more bling.

      I'm sure that as soon as the president puts one of his kids in charge it will improve

      1. STOP_FORTH
        Happy

        Re: Missing feature

        OK, print TRUMP on the helmet in shiny gold letters. After all, Nixon has his signature on the Moon!

        1. the Jim bloke Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Missing feature

          Does anyone else think trump has toned it down recently ?

          I mean he is still a complete bastard and nutter, and a disgrace to the office and embarrassment to his country, but he doesnt seem as orange as he used to..

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: Missing feature

            he doesnt seem as orange as he used to

            I think it depends on occasion. For full-on 'meet the press' thingies he still seems to go Full Orange.

  9. KittenHuffer

    Who's gonna be making them?

    Cos the original 60's suit were manufactured by Playtex! I'd have thought that they'd be a good choice for the "first woman on the moon"!

    Playtex make the spacesuit for the way you are!

    1. hammarbtyp Silver badge

      Re: Who's gonna be making them?

      Not only made by playtex, but by women who were basically just pulled from the production line. However each spacesuit was made bespoke and the playtex women were the best seamstresses around. The amount of work and quality control that went into each one was outstanding, especially if you consider one failure in any of the seams would of resulted in death.,

      Their story is just one of those hidden narratives about the space race which tends to concentrate on the big engineering and misses out the little details and subplots which were just as important and performed by basically ordinary people who found themselves involved in the great quest.

      It also raises an interesting point whether the new suits are as bespoke and hard to make as the old ones

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QIEMobU6Eg

      1. KittenHuffer

        Re: Who's gonna be making them?

        I remember watching an hour long Discovery show all about the making of the suits about a decade ago. And that's what made me post on the subject.

        I remember some interesting tidbits, such as the fact that it was necessary to have a very accurately controlled sewing pitch. Too few stitches would allow the material between the stiches to separate, but too many would weaken the seam of the material risking explosive failure.

        It was nice to watch a story of when the 'best' supplier (no matter who they were) was used to supply the goods, rather than the cheapest, or even the cheapest within a particular US state!

    2. zuckzuckgo

      Re: Who's gonna be making them?

      > Cos the original 60's suit were manufactured by Playtex!

      "Lift and separate" seems like a appropriate slogan for 1960's NASA.

  10. TheProf

    Suits

    https://imgur.com/gallery/2k4LV

    I like the new orange space suit. It's beginning to look like the Star Trek 'trouser hem as had an argument with the shoe top' style.

    Sorry. Random thoughts.

  11. not.known@this.address Bronze badge

    Hmm, deja view

    I'm pretty sure David Tennant wore that in Doctor Who recently...

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      Re: Hmm, deja view

      Capaldi too. Pity he never had the chance to wear it on the moon.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Orange, Gromit?

    Won't that clash with the Red Leicester?

    1. Snowy Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Orange, Gromit?

      Do problem Wallace I have packed the wensleydale :)(https://www.cheese.com/wensleydale/)

  13. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
    Coat

    xEMU?

    They are planning on sending xRod xHull?

    This could end badly.

  14. oen_br

    Thriller

    This is a tribute to Michael Jackson.

  15. riffrafff

    Major Matt Mason wore orange...

    Major Matt Mason wore orange...

    ...well, his crew member Sgt. Storm did, anyway.

  16. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

    "There’s also a diaper-like padding to absorb any moisture"

    That must take some practice,....I know for me it would. I surf, and many of my surf buddies are blessed with the ability to relax and moisten their wetsuit from the inside if needs be during a long surf session, but I just can't. I'd need to be cross eyed before I could wet myself, and I think the productivity of the space walk would have sufferd long before then.

    1. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

      Re: "There’s also a diaper-like padding to absorb any moisture"

      I'm amazed that for spaceflight for adults to the moon in 2019, a nappy is the answer to any question.

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: "There’s also a diaper-like padding to absorb any moisture"

        Astronauts use them on road trips too.

        https://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/02/06/astronaut_arrest/

        1. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

          Re: "There’s also a diaper-like padding to absorb any moisture"

          She (Nowak) was one of the NASA Astronauts that opened the National Space Centre in Leicester. There's a plaque and hand print for each of them. Hers is still there, despite her little episode.

  17. Sleep deprived

    What's that blue bottle on the right calf?

    Bourbon? With glasses in the shin pockets?

  18. cracked and broken

    "to wear when they're inside lunar spacecrafts"

    So why are these orange suits pressurised inside a spacecraft? Are they planning to need pressure suits during normal operation or just for emergencies?

    I can see the helmets and gloves seem to be attached with some kind or sealed connections but not those boots. Just looks like the way my ski trouser legs hang over the tops of my boots. Am I missing something?

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019