back to article Welcome to the World Of Tomorrow, where fridges suffer certificate errors. Just like everything else

The connected refrigerator has long been the fever dream of many an IoT enthusiast, and Samsung's Family Hub has demonstrated the power of such a concept by falling over in a heap on a John Lewis sales floor. With a 21.5-inch touchscreen embedded in one of the stainless steel doors, Samsung touts the monster refrigerator as a …

  1. Hans 1 Silver badge
    Coat

    Now, what is your wife gonna do, there, "Allow" ? Somebody has probably MIM the piece of crap or Sammy cannot handle certs ...

    1. katrinab Silver badge
      Flame

      I'm guessing it is receiving the "please agree to the BT Openzone T&C to connect to this wifi network" page instead of what it actually wants.

      I get about 15 certificate errors from my email client every time I connect to one of these wifi networks.

      1. Danny 14 Silver badge

        Which is really shit. All you need is a genuine cert on the landing page. It's lazy design for the wifi portals. Our guest wifi needs a landing portal for its voucher info. It has a letsencrypt genuine cert. Onsite DNS handles the internal redirecting , external dns obviously goes nowhere. Cron job handles the recert process every 45 days.

        Client with a moderately recent browser gets no cert errors.

        1. kjw

          Can you elaborate on this? There's more to it that a genuine (i.e. CA signed certificate) on the (non-Google) landing page, that would still fail CN validation for a TLS connection made to www.google.com. If it didn't then there would be carte blanche for MITM attacks.

          1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

            Chrome (and other Chromium-based browsers) and Firefox (and other Mozilla-based browsers) attempt to detect "captive portal" login pages, and show the "you may need to log in" message rather than the certificate-mismatch alert. I haven't investigated how their captive portal detection works.

            Presumably, if the user allows the redirection to the portal's landing page, but the landing page doesn't have a certificate that matches the redirection URL, then you'd get a certificate-mismatch alert.

            So: User requests a site over HTTPS. Portal detects user is not signed in and redirects (by DNS or IP) to the portal server, which attempts to respond with an HTTP redirect to the landing page, with a certificate for the portal (probably with either a DNS SAN for the portal's FQDN, or an IPADR SAN for the portal's fixed IP address). Browser sees the certificate validation failure but decides - somehow - that it's probably a captive portal.1 Browser shows the "proceed to login" prompt; if the user accepts, it processes the HTTP redirect and validates that TLS conversation normally.

            1I can think of some heuristics I might use here, some of which require allowing the connection and examining the untrusted response.

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        I get about 15 certificate errors from my email client every time I connect to one of these wifi networks

        Probably because their badly setup and indifferently maintained crappy proxy that sits behind the hotspot is trying to do MITM attacks (under the guise of 'safety') and your email client, quite properly, notices.

        A pox on them and the horse they rode in on.

        Much like 'free' wifi setups that want all sorts of detail about you before they'll consent to let you use them. Given that (often) they only have a simple DSL line backing them, it's often quicker to use mobile data. And the worst of the worst use Facebook OAUTH so want details of your facebook login.

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge
    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Faaaaack!

      Still sorting out our thermostat iOThingy. Gonna grab a beer I know is in the fridge.

  2. katrinab Silver badge
    Flame

    For £3000, you could get a normal fridge, an iPad, and a mounting bracket to stick the iPad to the door; and have plenty of change left over.

    Anyway, I've never ever thought, "It would be nice if I could browse the internet on my fridge door".

    Also, I don't know about other people, but I don't have any problems remembering what's in my fridge. Remembering the expiry dates of stuff in it can be a problem, but I don't think this setup would help me.

    1. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Well, yep. That's it really.

    2. veti Silver badge

      Ah, but what about webcams inside the fridge to show you the content? With, I presume, some sort of lighting, otherwise there's not much point?

      See, killer app right there. Who has time to go opening their fridge for that sort of thing?

      Seriously, though, if I could look at my phone and see the content of my fridge, that would actually be fairly useful. I can't count the number of times I've texted the Other Half from the supermarket, "do we need carrots?" (or whatever).

      1. Lee D Silver badge

        As the article points out... what makes you think a webcam inside a cramped fridge is going to be able to see what you have in the depths of the salad drawer?

        1. Nick Kew

          A fridge the size of that Samsung could presumably take all those Reg lunchboxes without getting overcrowded, yesno?

          I've been contemplating a bigger fridge-freezer since moving to a kitchen with more space, so I've thought a bit about what I would or wouldn't pay more for.

          YES obviously: sensible size, layout, power-efficiency, quiet running.

          YES if not cynical about it working: frost-free, condensation avoidance.

          MAYBE: my little indulgence - a dispenser for chilled water and ice, all plumbed in (would be a YES except that it's only available on "american style" models).

          NO but would have some merit: IoT availability to inspect contents while in the supermarket.

          NOT BLOODY LIKELY: big screen attached to the thing!

          1. katrinab Silver badge
            Boffin

            "A fridge the size of that Samsung could presumably take all those Reg lunchboxes without getting overcrowded, yesno?"

            No. Fridges are like hard drives, or any other storage device. The content expands to fill the space available.

            1. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
              Childcatcher

              The content expands to fill the space available.

              Which leads us to the next killer app: smart fridge cleanup and compression. The smart fridge registers that there is too much crap in it and that most is in danger of becoming someone's science experiment before much longer and beacons that smart trash can over for a quick word.

              1. katrinab Silver badge
                Meh

                Great, but it needs to be a cron job that runs on a Thursday night [1], and the trash can needs to immediately take itself outside afterwards. Otherwise, rotting food will smell, a lot.

                [1] My bins are collected at around 6:30am Friday morning. Your bin collection may be at a different time, and therefore you may wish to reschedule your cron job accordingly.

          2. mr-slappy

            "MAYBE: my little indulgence - a dispenser for chilled water and ice, all plumbed in (would be a YES except that it's only available on "american style" models)"

            Our fridge isn't an American-style one, and it has a very handy cold water dispenser.

            Even better is that you can fill it with white wine when we've got the family round for Christmas...

            1. AIBailey Silver badge

              So not "plumbed in" then, as stated above.

              However, a chilled wine dispenser sounds even better.

              1. mr-slappy

                Yes - I missed the important words "plumbed in". Apologies

                1. Stuart 22

                  Sad. I was hoping you had found a utility company that connected one's plumbing to a fine Chardonnay winery rather than a boring local reservoir. I really don't get this tap-water thing. A nice vintage shower would be a bonus.

                  Thames Water really ought to get into the added-value business ....

                  1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
                    Pint

                    Not such a problem...

                    For those of us north of Watford gap. Especially those in God's own county.

                    Tap water round here is lovely, even better when you add a few other ingredients... Like malt.. And hops.... And yeast.

                    1. Cederic Silver badge

                      Re: Not such a problem...

                      Speak for yourself. I need to run my tap into a bowl or it chips the enamel in the sink, there's so much limestone.

                      1. Phil Endecott Silver badge

                        Re: Not such a problem...

                        I read that as “I need to run my tap into a bowl of chips”....

                      2. phuzz Silver badge
                        Trollface

                        Re: Not such a problem...

                        Round my way they make pipes by getting a sheet of lead, and wrapping it around the stream of water, it's that hard.

                    2. STOP_FORTH
                      Trollface

                      Re: Not such a problem...

                      Middlesbrough used to be part of God's own county and the water there is awful. Is that why you ejected them?

                  2. Muscleguy Silver badge

                    Having lived in London I understand your point about tap water except up here in Scotland the tap water is actually rather nice. In London we bought 4l bottles of water to drink, especially after I discovered how much nitrate there is in it (from trying to get the levels low in the kids' fish tank and failing).

                    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

                      I discovered how much nitrate there is in it

                      There's a lot of nitrate in the water round here too (Wiltshire) - must be because of all the arable land near whatever reservoir feeds our area. And we discovered it the same way - testing the fish tank water.

                      It used to make the Java weed in the tank grow like crazy (which the pleco liked) - but then when we got a water softener fitted, for some reason the Java weed stopped growing and eventually all got eaten.

                      So now we have to have silk plants in the tank and put in bits of veggie (cucumber and cabbage) for the pleco to nom on. Any real plants we do put in get obliterated quite quickly - the 14" Pleco tends to thrash around and batters them to pieces or eats them.

                      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

                        Re: 14" Pleco tends to thrash around and batters them

                        Normally it is the fish that gets battered.

              2. Flywheel Silver badge

                > chilled wine dispenser

                Yeah but you presumably have to keep it topped up. What a pain/market opportunity!

              3. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

                You don't have wine on tap at your house? That's pretty standard here in the US.

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Whoa!

              Damn American variant is plumbed in.

          3. John Mangan

            @Nick Kew

            "MAYBE: my little indulgence - a dispenser for chilled water and ice, all plumbed in (would be a YES except that it's only available on "american style" models)."

            Say YES, you'll never regret it.

            1. Martin an gof Silver badge
              Happy

              Re: @Nick Kew

              Or how about, take your existing 'fridge.

              10l water carrier with tap £10

              small float valve £6.40

              a self-cutting isolating valve £5 (tidier methods are available)

              a short length of flexible pipe and necessary inserts £2.10 & £3.20

              a flat wood bit £3 (it'll get through the plastic lining and the insulation easily, and the external metal is thin enough that it should manage one hole - many fridges don't have metal at the back but you will have to be careful to avoid the radiators)

              and a short flexible tap connector

              Seal the hole with silicone when you're done (wouldn't advise expanding foam) and Bob's yer uncle for around £30.

              I'm tempted to try it myself. Not sure how the rest of the family will take to me drilling holes in the side of our fridge though...

              M.

              1. usbac

                Re: @Nick Kew

                Just be careful not to drill through a refrigerant lines in the wall of the fridge. I've converted several fridges for keeping home-brew kegs, and I would only drill through the doors (for the taps). I always wanted to drill the back wall for the co2 lines, but never wanted to take the chance of ruining a working fridge in the process...

                1. The Door Knob

                  Re: @Nick Kew

                  When i convert a fridge into a beer fermentor. I cut throught the plastic at the back or the top then dig through the foam insulation to avoid any vital parts to install Water, Gas lines then connectors for Temperature probes and Circulation fans

          4. John 104

            We are a family of 5 and have a 29 sq ft LG. No fancy screen, just water and ice. 29 is HUGE! when it is full, we're like, "Yeah! Flush with the eats!" and when it gets even half full it looks like a wasteland due to the extra space. But the big freezer is sure nice.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Surely you meant "cu ft". Two-dimensional food tastes flat.

            2. OssianScotland Silver badge

              You are Edwin Abbott and I claim my Five Pounds....

          5. vir

            >>MAYBE: my little indulgence - a dispenser for chilled water and ice, all plumbed in (would be a YES except that it's only available on "american style" models).

            It's extremely convenient never having to refill ice cube trays or keep the ice bin topped off or finding that all the ice has merged into one blob or that the only cubes left are the little wizened half-sublimated ones that taste like plastic. I just dread the day that my dog realizes that he can just push the lever to dispense his favorite treats and I come back home to 30 small puddles all over the kitchen.

            1. WageSlave

              Useless Gimmicks for idlers & show-offs ...

              Having invested nearly a Grand into a giant, USA-style behmoth to keep my fast-growing brood from going feral, I was too stingy to go for gimmicks like Ice and cold water, figuring it's two less things to leak or break.

              I refill the ice tray every time I empty it; it takes just 25 seconds (I timed it because I'm sad like that).

              It works just fine, even in mid summer. The kids aren't feral, the drinks are cool, and we can store enough fresh food & milk to last a few days. Life is great.

              So unless you want these useless gimmicks just because you want it, or because you're too bone idle to spend 25 seconds every few days, then I can see no reason to have them.

              (Dons tin hat & awaits torrent of abuse from said incompetents & idlers who can't even remember / be bothered to refill a simple tray ..)

              1. MachDiamond Silver badge

                Re: Useless Gimmicks for idlers & show-offs ...

                "(Dons tin hat & awaits torrent of abuse from said incompetents & idlers who can't even remember / be bothered to refill a simple tray ..)"

                I have a bottle of water (not bottled water) in the fridge that I use to refill the ice tray. It's a bit faster making ice that way instead of using water from the tap. I've been too lazy to get under the house and rerun the water line. The old one is pretty manky and I wan't a better arrangement for the filter.

              2. vir

                Re: Useless Gimmicks for idlers & show-offs ...

                Reason not the need.

              3. Kiwi Silver badge

                Re: Useless Gimmicks for idlers & show-offs ...

                I refill the ice tray every time I empty it; it takes just 25 seconds (I timed it because I'm sad like that).

                It works just fine, even in mid summer. The kids aren't feral, the drinks are cool, and we can store enough fresh food & milk to last a few days.

                I dunno how much/little you drink.. During spring I start hoarding ice cubes, and of course the cube trays get refilled every time they're emptied. But we still wind up running low fairly early on. In summer we seem to go through more than a hundred large 'cubes' a day!

          6. phuzz Silver badge
            Pint

            My (somewhat posh) mate has a fridge which has not just a chilled water dispenser, but one that has a built in sodastream, so it dispenses chilled fizzy water.

            Fortunately it's has no screen, and is also usually full of beer, which is all I look for in a fridge.

          7. fajensen Silver badge

            Absolutely get a model with an ice-cube making machine. If you have children, that will make them drink water! Samsung does at last one of those, without any screens and stuff.

            PS:

            It is actually convenient with the freezer compartment inside of the kitchen.

          8. macjules Silver badge

            Lunchboxes? Lunchboxes??

            What are they at The Register, vegans? BEER is what you store in a fridge, beer in large quanties. Then again if you are an American I guess your beer counts as water, so you are excused.

        2. Danny 14 Silver badge

          I already know that in the depths is dave the garlic. Its his birthday next week.

      2. katrinab Silver badge

        The camera will tell you that there's carrots in the fridge, provided its view of them isn't blocked by something else, but it won't tell you if they are still safe to eat.

        By the way, carrots shouldn't be stored in the fridge. Either in the freezer or the cupboard. Which highlights another problem about these smart fridges. The people who design them assume that everything you buy in the supermarket goes in the fridge when it gets home. It doesn't even all go in the kitchen. Or do they keep their 10-in-one-actions shampoo/bodywash/shaving-foam/toothpaste/etc in the fridge?

        1. big_D Silver badge

          Yep, we put most of the supplies in the cellar, where it is cool and dark, but not fridge cold.

          Then potatoes and onions, for example, live in earthenware pots with a cloth draped over the top under the worktop.

          1. Nick Kew

            If you have nowhere cellar-cool in the heat of summer, the appliances sold as "wine coolers" in Blighty will do the job for fresh fruit&veg. Not to mention cheese&butter. And of course, English beer.

          2. MachDiamond Silver badge

            "Then potatoes and onions, for example, live in earthenware pots"

            My onions live briefly on the countertop and what doesn't get used immediately gets chopped up, bagged and put in the freezer. It's dead useful to have pre-chopped/de-teared onions in a bag ready to go. Potatoes I buy when I want them. They're cheaper in the 5lb/2-3kg bags, but I can't eat that much before they go off.

        2. rnturn

          > Or do they keep their 10-in-one-actions shampoo/bodywash/shaving-foam/toothpaste/etc in the fridge?

          We keep some of those things in the shower where they're used. So I guess we'd need a shower-cam to check on the availability. (Those'll surely be the next big thing in home automation.)

          1. MachDiamond Silver badge

            Hmmm, an IoT "Shower Cam". No way security on something like that wouldn't be up to scratch.

            Bwahahahahaha.

        3. veti Silver badge

          The carrots will be fine to eat. Nothing stays in our fridge long enough to get thrown out, except occasionally a carton of juice or flavoured milk.

          And yes, they absolutely do need to be kept in the fridge. You evidently don't live in my climate.

      3. Simon Harris Silver badge

        I can't count the number of times I've texted the Other Half from the supermarket, "do we need carrots?" (or whatever).

        I bet you could if you scrolled back through your texting log.

        My shopping list tends to get dynamically updated with 'can you get...' texts while I'm in the supermarket. It's a pity the metal construction of my local supermarket renders it a signal-free zone and I don't usually get the texts until I'm on my way home!

        1. AIBailey Silver badge

          My shopping list tends to get dynamically updated with 'can you get...' texts while I'm in the supermarket. It's a pityblessing the metal construction of my local supermarket renders it a signal-free zone and I don't usually get the texts until I'm on my way home!

          - FTFY

          1. Simon Harris Silver badge

            I like your thinking.

        2. Muscleguy Silver badge

          Whenever I'm in Sainsbury's my phone buzzes at me wanting to connect to the free wifi. I ignore it.

          1. MachDiamond Silver badge

            "Whenever I'm in Sainsbury's my phone buzzes at me wanting to connect to the free wifi. I ignore it."

            You leave your wi-fi on when you are out in the wild? Don't try that if you go to Defcon. See "Denial of Service Dog" on Youtube.

      4. hplasm Silver badge
        Alert

        But...!!

        "

        Ah, but what about webcams inside the fridge to show you the content? With, I presume, some sort of lighting, otherwise there's not much point?"

        Surely the light GOES OUT when you shut the door... doesn't it?!?!?!?! eek!

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: But...!!

          This is how we finally discover the truth.

          The truth in in there.

          OK, OK.

          1. ibmalone Silver badge
            Alien

            Re: But...!!

            Wrong icon?

          2. defiler Silver badge

            Re: But...!!

            A friend of mine once emptied the fridge and climbed inside to check. Another friend just put in a camcorder. Yes, the light went out both times.

            Still, having cameras will play merry hell with pranks involving hiding raccoons in the fridge. On the other hand, you could hang up a picture in front, so long as it's a peculiarly well-behaved raccoon.

        2. MrReynolds2U

          Re: But...!!

          Schrödinger's light ?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: But...!!

            well, that cat was only halfdead halfalive because the box walls were not transparent. Make them so, and the carrots NEVER enter into the superposition state.

            p.s. Strangely enough, this quirk of quantum theory never applies to my bank account, whether I check it or not, it always only goes down. Well, ok, it might hold billions when nobody's looking, but it's not much good if I can't spend it :(

            1. batfink Silver badge

              Re: But...!!

              It's a false concept that your carrots can be in a superposition state. Quantum theory says that objects exist in superposition until observed, without having anything to say about what constitutes an "observer".

              Therefore, your carrots can't be a in superposition because the carrots themselves know what state they're in.

              1. STOP_FORTH
                Happy

                Re: But...!!

                So..... carrots are more self-aware than cats? I blame the "rro".

                1. batfink Silver badge

                  Re: But...!!

                  Well TBF the cat would also know whether it was alive or dead.

                  It might not know about the carrots though.

                  1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

                    Re: But...!!

                    It might not know about the carrots though

                    Any self-respecting cat would completely ignore the fact that carrots exist. Because - hello - vegetable!

                    Not fit for eating by an advanced species.

                    (Mind you - a tortoiseshell cat we had when I was a kid had a thing for peas. Loved them - to the extent that she ate a whole panful of them. And then had green diahorrea for several days. Cats digestive systems are *really* not set up to handle large amounts of vegetables.. She was an odd cat, even for a tortie.)

          2. EVP

            Re: But...!!

            I’m a bit tired of checking constantly if the light in my fridge is still on. So I wen’t to see a shrink to ask for help. His hourly rate was a bit too high for me, so I continue doing checking by myself.

            Now this Schrödinger thing, you got me really confused. Can the light be both on and off at the same time? Is it on or off only when I observe it? Maybe it’s both on and off before I open the door for the very first time, and only then it’s state is determined.

            I tried to put my cat in my fridge to see if the light is off when I open the door next time. The cat didn’t like my idea. Instead, he bit me, spilled milk and broke the light. Now the light is always off. Or is it? You never know... sigh.

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Last time I looked it was not a realtime view of the interior. Rather it takes a snaphot right after the door is closed. The interior light is kept on just long enough after closing the door to take the photo.

        I was playing with one at a local appliance shop. I was somehow able to move things inside the fridge without it updating the photo. Not sure how I did it, but that made the novelty wear off right there in the store.

        1. katrinab Silver badge

          I'm guessing you would open the door just enough to poke some sort of implement in, maybe a knife or a chopstick, but not enough for it to release the interior light switch.

        2. Stoneshop Silver badge

          Last time I looked it was not a realtime view of the interior.

          So you won't be getting a timelapse video of the milk turning into yoghurt, or cucumbers going snotty.

          Pity. I'll have to stick with that movie of paint drying.

          1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

            Re: Last time I looked it was not a realtime view of the interior.

            Pity. I'll have to stick with that movie of paint drying.

            Well, it's rated at 9.2 stars on IMDB so must be good.

      6. The First Dave Silver badge

        Carrots should not be kept in a fridge.

        1. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

          To be honest I don't think anyone has ever been arsed enough to agree an international standard for

          root vegetable storage. So I think it's down to personal preference as to where you store them.

          The fridge isn't the place I'd choose to store them mind, but then again, what's life without a little risk...

        2. Winkypop Silver badge

          Carrots in a fridge

          In very hot climates, cold carrots last longer and therefore taste better.

        3. D@v3

          carrots

          While in theory i agree with this, in practice, when we put most of our fruit and veg in the cupboard, some of it goes 'funny' a lot quicker than if we put some of it (mostly carrots) in the fridge. (all separated, different shelves and little tubs)

      7. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @veti - Actually I keep carrots in the dual bin at the bottom of the fridge

        so unless I have a camera and adequate lighting in each of them and also a way of telling what's underneath the bunch of broccoli where the carrots might be located, then this fridge might be interesting although a little too pricey.

      8. Archtech Silver badge

        Process beats hardware every time

        The remedy for not knowing whether you need carrots (or how many) is the boring old-fashioned "shopping list". All the hardware you need is a pen (or pencil) and paper - although you can print it if you must.

        You also need the discipline to maintain a cumulative list of "needs". Every time you find some item that's out of stock, in short supply, or needed soon - shove it on the list.

        This also helps cut down on unnecessary spending. You march into the supermarket clutching your list, and you buy what's on it and nothing else.

        1. D@v3

          Re: shopping list

          We just have a shared note on our phones that any of us can add to when we think of / notice something. Means we don't forget the list if we just pop in for something on the way home.

      9. Muscleguy Silver badge

        I only keep carrots in the fridge at the height of summer. Otherwise they live happily in the veg basket with the spuds, onions, courgettes, cucumbers, cabbage family members and sundry other root vegetables (rarely all at once).

        By the way curcubits (courgettes, cucumbers and marrows) die when you put them in the fridge (I wish the supermarkets would wise up). I never keep them in the fridge at home and they last much longer (which is of course why the supermarkets don't want you to know this).

        As for unripe fruit, grump mumble. Mind you I scored three large kiwifruit on low remainder in the Coop this week. They are perfectly ripe so of course they must be market down. I almost bought a marked down pineapple once but it was just 40% yellow so nowhere near actually ripe.

      10. DiViDeD Silver badge

        Re texted the Other Half from the supermarket, "do we need carrots?"

        You keep your carrots in the FRIDGE?

        1. batfink Silver badge

          Re: Re texted the Other Half from the supermarket, "do we need carrots?"

          Common practice in hot climates. Not everyone lives in those frozen parts of the world.

      11. Danny 14 Silver badge

        It doesnt matter how nicely i fill the fridge, we have two teenagers who have a different idea of (flatfile best describes it) sorting.

        The cameras would probably just show a close up of a stuffed bag of salad.

      12. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Dear?

        Avocados?

      13. MachDiamond Silver badge

        "I can't count the number of times I've texted the Other Half from the supermarket, "do we need carrots?" (or whatever)."

        This sounds like you wandered off to the store with no list. A little bit of planning can go a long way.

        I keep a running shopping list on my phone. As I run out/low on things, I put them on the list. Chances will be good that I'll have my phone with me at the store to prop up my failing memory.

        My general rule is, "When in doubt, get some". Obviously I'm not going to apply this if the item is Bulga Caviar. If it's carrots, no worries. I can dice and freeze the older ones if I wind up with too much. If that's not an option, the menu of the day will change to use up the excess.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Also, I don't know about other people, but I don't have any problems remembering what's in my fridge. Remembering the expiry dates of stuff in it can be a problem, but I don't think this setup would help me."

      Which shows just how this connected fridge is a solution looking for a problem.

      The whole concept just doesn't work until you have a way to check for all product's health ...

      1. jmch Silver badge

        "I don't have any problems remembering what's in my fridge. Remembering the expiry dates of stuff in it can be a problem"

        For the whole connected-fridge thingy to work, you need every item to have an RFID tag that says what it is and what's the expiry. That would actually be useful for the supply logistics to the supermarket, supermarket inventory control and checkout, and IoT fridges.

        I believe for the moment per-item RFID tags remain expensive to put on items sold for a few pence. And you would have to work out how to instantly program/print out RFID tags for weighing machines. And work out how to bulk-scan a hundred different tags in a trolley/fridge without mixing them all up.

        But it's not unlikely that in 10-20 years time we'll see entire supermarkets working with this model, and IoT fridges will gradually offer some real utility.

        1. DwarfPants
          Facepalm

          RFID tags are not the answer

          The teenagers will have eaten all the content leaving the packing and RFID tags to provide invalid data to the inventory function.

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: RFID tags are not the answer

            >The teenagers will have eaten all the content

            Not if they don't have the password to the door control

            1. Stoneshop Silver badge

              Re: RFID tags are not the answer

              Not if they don't have the password to the door control

              If that's to IoT standards, it will be cracked in mere milliseconds.

          2. Roland6 Silver badge

            Re: RFID tags are not the answer

            Next must have invention: edible RFID tags...

            1. Stoneshop Silver badge
              Trollface

              Next must have invention: edible RFID tags..

              And with an RFID reader fitted to your stomach your DietAIcian can check if you've actually eaten the stuff you were scheduled for

        2. eldakka Silver badge

          Unless you are running a large commercial-style kitchen of some sort, or are a food retailer of some type, where inventory control is a necessity, this seems like an awful lot of effort to go through for a common household kitchen.

          If you have a big family, say 8 kids or something, then assign to one of them the chore of keeping the inventory, that'll help keep em out of trouble.

          If you are single or a couple with only one kid, how hard is it to attach a small notepad with a pen to the fridge where you note on it items that need to be purchased. I.e., a traditional shopping list. Or, if you want to be techie about it, there are plenty of 'list' apps for phones/tablets, so use one of them.

          Hell ,when I'm bored at work I think about what I want to make for dinner, and buy the ingredients on the way home.

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            a couple with only one kid

            Or even a couple with no kids but a lot of animals..

            (The only pet-related thing that lives in the fridge is the lactose-reduced cat milk.. Yes - a lot of cats are lactose-intolerant once they get past being a juvenile. Hence the lactose-reduced cat milk - I think some also have extra vitamins and taurine in it. 5 of our cats are sick if they drink cows' milk, two are not. Which is why we need to guard our cereal bowls closely..).

            1. Kiwi Silver badge
              Coat

              The only pet-related thing that lives in the fridge is the lactose-reduced cat milk..

              I've been told so often by "extreme experts" (usually of the female persuasion oddly) about how cats don't like milk and will only drink if if there's nothing else available.

              I challenge them to go to my fridge, open it, take the milk out and put it on the bench for a few seconds (usually whilst making a cuppa), then put it back in the fridge without offering the cat any. Oh, and I point out the bowl of fresh water inside (right next to where his milk would go) and the small pool of not-so-fresh water outside.

              Those who try to ignore him get a polite request clawing after a few seconds. Those who still insist he doesn't want milk.. Well, let's just say he's "self-feeding" and I don't need to worry about cat food for a while.

              Seriously, this cat is nuts for milk. Dangerously so.

              --> Made the mistake of using the last of the milk in my morning coffee. Will need some new clothes as a result. Mine's the one that looks like it was worn by the hulk.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                "I've been told so often by "extreme experts" (usually of the female persuasion oddly) about how cats don't like milk and will only drink if if there's nothing else available."

                Don't know for other pets, but you really can't draw any generalities with cats.

                I have 3 as follows:

                1 is crazy for anything with milk, yogourt etc ... The other 2 don't care.

                1 drinks tea, mostly mint tea. Is also dangerously crazy for camphor when I put some camphor pommad on myself. Given camphor is also toxic for humans, I don't let him lick any of it ! Of course, the 2 other don't care.

                1 doesn't care for anything but regular crockets and mice

                And so on and so forth. You really can't generalize anything about those buggers !

      2. Lee D Silver badge

        I store in reverse chronological order.

        Stuff on the bottom is likely to go off in the next few days (hence includes things like raw chicken/beef that shouldn't even be stored above fresh or cooked stuff, but people still put salad drawers on the damn bottom!)

        Then the stuff on the top shelf is the stuff that will expire last.

        If you implement a left-to-right protocol too, you know exactly what you need to eat next and/or what needs to be thrown out.

        Of course, all food should be subject to the usual "does it smell/look right?" test regardless, but I find my live much easier like that and no sudden "Urgh... that's *still* in there?" shocks.

        Now if someone knows of a fridge with the salad crisper drawer thing either on the top or completely removed from the rest of the food and can't have raw blood dripped on it, that'd be great.

        Same in the freezer too... but that's much more often subject to packing pressure than it is things actually going off.

        1. Stork Silver badge

          If you have problems with dripping blood in your freezer you have not wrapped the dead bodies or parts thereof well enough

        2. Kiwi Silver badge
          Boffin

          If you implement a left-to-right protocol too, you know exactly what you need to eat next and/or what needs to be thrown out.

          I'm surprised no one's given the oblig xkcd on this!

    4. big_D Silver badge

      It is the same with any "IoT" white good. The white goods should last a couple of decades, but you'll be lucky if the IoT side of the device is still getting security updates after 2 years...

      I refuse to buy anything with IoT built in. If I'm going to "IoT" it, I'll buy a good quality, non-intelligent device and couple it with a dedicated IoT device that can be swapped out, cheaply, when its time has come.

      E.g. a good TV and then something like a FireTV or a Raspi for media playback.

      I don't need an intelligent fridge, dishwasher or washing machine. I still have to fill the washing machine with laundry and put in the washing powder. If I do that, I can start it - or set the inbuilt timer to start so that it will be finished when I get back home to hang the stuff out.

      1. Jay 2

        Was talking to a colleague today about his new kitchen. The hob and extractor can be controller via an app on a suitably WiFi-connected device.

        I was immediately thinking of either what happens when they invariably get bricked by a firmware update, or when they get hacked due to a lack of a firmware update (as I don't think IoT security is at the top of the list for kitchen hardware manufacturers).

        1. katrinab Silver badge

          Another thing: A 15-20 year old oven will generally work just fine. But will a 2030s smartphone with maybe 1TB of RAM and a 128bit CPU of some description be able to run the app? The current wifi standard will be hopelessly obsolete. Will the oven be able to connect to a 2030s wireless access point?

          1. stiine Silver badge
            Unhappy

            2030's

            Ha, I think it will have trouble controlling a 2020 device if history is anything to go by.

        2. Simon Harris Silver badge

          "The hob and extractor can be controller via an app on a suitably WiFi-connected device."

          If you need to control the hob, you need to be able to see what whatever you've put on top is doing which means you must be in easy reach of the cooker anyway.

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            So it's either a webcam in the extractor or just a matter of time until the smart hob burns the house down.

            1. Stoneshop Silver badge
              Thumb Up

              a matter of time until the smart hob burns the house down.

              That's because it got depressed from just being a hob, and not even being able to sulk in the basement like those elevators.

          2. Nick Kew

            Aha, so I can put the pan on high heat on the hob, go back to what I was doing, and turn it down to simmer when it comes to the boil. What could possibly go wrong?

          3. BrownishMonstr Bronze badge

            I can see the need of someone leaving something on to boil, then goes to another room to for whatever reason (hoover/screaming child/whatever), and then realise they won't be able to return to the kitchen soon enough, so can turn it off by their phone.

            Theoretically, of course.

            1. Roland6 Silver badge

              >and then realise they won't be able to return to the kitchen soon enough, so can turn it off by their phone.

              Naturally, as you expected the distraction to only be seconds, you left the phone next to the hob...

              1. Twanky Bronze badge
                Flame

                'Naturally, as you expected the distraction to only be seconds, you left the phone next to the hob...'

                Me: Alexa, reduce pan to simmer.

                Alexa: Reducing ham to cinder.

                1. cynic56
                  Coffee/keyboard

                  I have given many comments an upvote here - but this one is PRICELESS.

              2. BrownishMonstr Bronze badge

                Wait, you don't have your phone surgically embedded in you? Gee-whiz, Grandpa--this ain't the 10's anymore.

                1. Kiwi Silver badge
                  Flame

                  Wait, you don't have your phone surgically embedded in you? Gee-whiz, Grandpa--this ain't the 10's anymore.

                  One of my nephews recently very nearly got an embedded phone.

                  WITHOUT the aid of surgery.

                  (I'll leave it up to your imagination as to why...)

            2. martinusher Silver badge

              World of Tomorrow....

              >and then realise they won't be able to return to the kitchen soon enough, so can turn it off by their phone.

              If it follows the pattern I'm used to then by the time I've got the phone active and all the 101 code updates, alerts and cookie feed back whatever's on the stove will have caught fire.

            3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

              someone leaving something on to boil, then goes to another room to for whatever reason

              My description of multi-tasking to my wife is "doing several things at the same time, all badly"..

              (And let's not perpetuate the myth that all women are good multitaskers - some are, some are not. Just like some men are, some are not.. My wife isn't and I am. Which annoys her no end.)

        3. Dvon of Edzore

          ... I don't think IoT security is at the top of the list for kitchen hardware manufacturers.

          FTFY

        4. Dan 55 Silver badge

          (as I don't think IoT security is at the top of the list for kitchen hardware manufacturers)

          And you'd be right:

          Half-baked security: Hackers can hijack your smart Aga oven 'with a text message'

        5. batfink Silver badge
      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        "E.g. a good TV and then something like a FireTV or a Raspi for media playback."

        A good TV would be one that doesn't want to connect itself to the internet. Where do you get one of those these days? You might just about get away with not letting your TV connect but how soon is it going to be that you can't do that otherwise the damn thing will just have a temper tantrum and refuse to work at all?

        1. Stoneshop Silver badge

          A good TV would be one that doesn't want to connect itself to the internet.

          Most monitors tend not to do so (yet).

          1. elgarak1

            Re: A good TV would be one that doesn't want to connect itself to the internet.

            (Maybe not so) Surprisingly, I've seen a lot of 1080p monitors being more expensive than 1080p TVs.

            We use a set-top-box/DVR to get TV programming these days, and the TV hooked up to it is just a glorious monitor. I've tried to find a suitable replacement monitor with sufficient size (1080p resolution (don't need more, the box just puts out that much); larger size than the TV (hey, the worst thing about the TV is that it was originally just a small bedroom TV), and built-in speakers.

            I couldn't find one that was cheap enough. It would always have been a better deal to buy another TV.

            1. Roland6 Silver badge

              Re: A good TV would be one that doesn't want to connect itself to the internet.

              >Surprisingly, I've seen a lot of 1080p monitors being more expensive than 1080p TVs.

              Definitely seen this in the 24-inch and larger sizes.

              I went for the most basic ie. minimal intelligence TV with 4xHDMI and used that as a monitor/TV plugging it into PVR, Xbox & computer. Obviously, this style of TV tends to be only available on advanced order rather than from stock. But if they are in-stock they tend to get discounted at the end of the season...

            2. Stoneshop Silver badge
              Holmes

              Re: A good TV would be one that doesn't want to connect itself to the internet.

              (Maybe not so) Surprisingly, I've seen a lot of 1080p monitors being more expensive than 1080p TVs.

              Fair enough; if you don't want to hand over your data you hand over your money.

            3. Carpet Deal 'em Bronze badge

              Re: A good TV would be one that doesn't want to connect itself to the internet.

              (Maybe not so) Surprisingly, I've seen a lot of 1080p monitors being more expensive than 1080p TVs.

              Monitors tend to have lower response times and higher refresh rates than TVs. Resolution isn't everything.

          2. kjw

            Re: A good TV would be one that doesn't want to connect itself to the internet.

            Remember that a monitor connects to something that could be internet connected. The days of simple analogue signals are long gone and with the move from DVI to HDMI and DisplayPort there's facility to pass other data over the connection. It's convenient but I'd imagine this will eventually lead to some surprises and unintended consequences.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          A good TV would be one that doesn't want to connect itself to the internet.

          I think you people overdramatise with those smart tellies. Mine is smart, by design, but dumb, as I never let it "help" me by connecting to the internets via my router. I guess it's vaguely fuck... hackable via bluetooth, which I've never managed to disable, but I must have disabled SOME bt feature, because it won't connect to anything even if I try to (not that I tried long and hard). I never updated its firmware, because I saw it once, it was about 700 Mb, and I assumed it indicates a shitload of crap would be added to enhance my viewing pleasure, etc. It works, does what it's supposed to do, fails to do a few things which are unimportant...

          ultimately, I don't see it as a problem until the moment when smart tellies will INSIST they "have to" be connected to the internet to actually work. But, in general, I find cries of horror in this field greatly exaggerated.

          1. Kiwi Silver badge
            Big Brother

            Re: A good TV would be one that doesn't want to connect itself to the internet.

            ultimately, I don't see it as a problem until the moment when smart tellies will INSIST they "have to" be connected to the internet to actually work. But, in general, I find cries of horror in this field greatly exaggerated.

            Not too many months back there were some very good WiFi signal analysers for Android.

            Then there was an update to some part of Android (leastways what my tablet's got). Now, for those same analysers to work, they MUST have "location services" turned on.

            I personally cannot see how having GPS turned on will change the signal strength of the WiFi or which channels my neighbours use. I can see that such information would be of great "user-experience-enhancing""[1] interest to Slurpy McSlurpface et al.

            It's coming. Connect or face reduced functionality. And there's the old "security updates" timeout (eg what IIRC MS has done with home W10) - don't get updates then your TV/etc stops working after a while, even if never connected to anything other than a STB/Pi etc

            (Reminds me, I think I have an old backup .apk floating around - another app for the remove/install-from-old/never-again-update list?)

            [1] Ie "we steal more of your personal info"

            1. STOP_FORTH

              Spoof the Internet

              I see a market for a device which redirects your TV/'fridge/whatever when it is trying to call home to the mothership. Let all other Internet access through but return a 404 (or possibly a spoofed page) to prevent downloads of upgraded software/firmware.

              1. Stoneshop Silver badge
                Big Brother

                Re: Spoof the Internet

                This is what I suggested to someone contemplating a couple of those cheap-ass Chinese surveillance cams that tend to phone home who knows what.

                Could be a worthwhile addition to PiHole, if it isn't already.

                1. STOP_FORTH
                  Facepalm

                  Feature creep

                  Those things are usually wireless (as is my TV, come to think of it). Going to need a second WiFi to route all the dodgy devices through!

      3. MJI Silver badge

        Can't see the point in a dishwasher

        My current cars cylinder head is too long.

        This is what people do

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mj-6Ox_hc0

      4. kjw

        I think the general IoT concept is reasonable for home appliances but as you say we all know the implementation is going to be, to put it bluntly, shit. Even from the established manufacturers have and will have a raft of configuration, security, privacy and obsolescence issues. And we're at risk of the marketing team pushing wasteful gimmicks onto irresponsible consumers.

        My fridge/freezer has recently passed its 20th birthday with just the trivial replacement of one 16 pound part. As far as I can work out there's been no quantum leaps in insulation so there's no need to evaluate replacement on an efficiency basis.

        My Sony TV's YouTube feature broke a few years after I bought it due to some API battle. It has inconsistent support on multimedia file formats depending on the source. It was the first TV I owned that monitored what the viewer was watching and god knows what it was uploading to Sony when I had it briefly connected.

        There is one important area which could benefit from some (efficient) smart features, scheduling domestic electricity demand dynamically. I think the simple solution to this used to be mains timer switches that would turn on an appliance during (in UK terminology) Economy 7 period. There is scope here for intelligent, perhaps market driven, scheduling of washing machines, dish-washers and car charging over night that could reduce costs and have positive impact for the environment.

        1. Kiwi Silver badge
          Boffin

          There is scope here for intelligent, perhaps market driven, scheduling of washing machines, dish-washers and car charging over night that could reduce costs and have positive impact for the environment.

          A couple of issues there. First, we had that in NZ as well (at least 2 different rates), but with the de-regulation of the market and many of us doing that, our prices are now the same 24/7.

          Second, as more and more people try to use a cheaper slot the slot will not be cheaper. Used to be it was cheaper because of low demand but not easy to spin up/down a power station.

          Finally, as a species we tend to be selfish, greedy, and unthinking. As electric cars become more common people will want to be able to get home from driving and plug it in and have it start charging immediately. Doesn't matter if it's at 99.99% capacity and they don't need it for another 3 days, it must be full now or I'm suing!. Of course, showing a 'charging' icon/light will be enough to settle most people even if it talks to the grid and books itself a couple of KWh between 5:45am and 6am. Different issue if the capacity is fairly low and you want to take it out again soon.

    5. 2+2=5 Silver badge
      Joke

      > Also, I don't know about other people, but I don't have any problems remembering what's in my fridge

      You clearly live alone and certainly don't have teenagers. Those that do will know that there is also no need to know what's in your fridge - it will be empty at all times, except for perhaps 10 minutes after restocking it.

      1. katrinab Silver badge
        Coat

        People who have teenagers will know that the vegetables will get left well alone.

        1. Kiwi Silver badge
          Pirate

          People who have teenagers will know that the vegetables will get left well alone.

          Ultra sneaky trick..

          Get them involved in gardening.

          Sneakier even more trick.. Don't ask them to help you, actually ask them to stay away - "forbidden fruit" so-to-speak. If you don't want them doing it then it's the latest must-do thing for them.

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Get them involved in gardening

            My parents tried that. I still hate gardening.

            I like gardens though.

      2. Rich 11 Silver badge

        If the teenagers empty the fridge then they can go and buy the food while you go down the pub. A few days without and they'll learn.

        1. Stoneshop Silver badge

          A few days without and they'll learn.

          ... to take a detour past the Subway/McD's/Dunkin' Döner's on the way home.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            @Stoneshop - Re: A few days without and they'll learn.

            It's their money, their waistline etc.

    6. oiseau Silver badge
      Flame

      ... never ever thought, "It would be nice if I could browse the internet on my fridge door."

      Of course!

      That's because this wonder of smart technology is not aimed at or made for you.

      It's aimed at/made for moron DHs with money to burn and an absolute lack of common sense.

      O.

      1. 's water music Silver badge

        ...DHs...

        Mumsnet? Is that you? Here?

        yikes

        1. Kiwi Silver badge
          Pint

          Mumsnet? Is that you? Here?

          I thought the "I see you" part of the handle was a dead giveaway? ;)

    7. Stuart Castle

      I'm a little concerned at the rush to add "smart" features because in a lot of cases, this "smart" functionality adds little or no actual benefit for the user while adding potentially a *lot* of security vulnerabilities to a home network, which may well be managed by someone who doesn't have a clue about network security.

      In the past couple of years, I've seen "smart" functionality added to ovens, fridges, washing machines and various other applicances. I've seen app controlled ovens, coffee makers and washing machines. What is the point of that? Every kitchen appliance needs to be have human interaction at some point, even if it's just to load it or unload it. What's the point in putting controls on an App that will likely have it's own security problems? OK, Apps can help users look up recipes, and look up washing instructions, but that stuff can be done a lot more securely on a website. It would not be too difficult to implement either as it's likely that app is looking up the info it needs on a website anyway.

      An app-controlled smart cooker or coffee maker would appear to make more sense, because you can turn on the device remotely, but if you *really* needed to do this, having some sort of timer function on the device itself would enable you to do it..

      A smart fridge makes no sense at all to me. Yes, it can check stock levels, but so can I. While I am doing it, I can also check nothing is going bad in the fridge, and clean it. Two jobs I would have to do even if the fridge did check stock levels. Yes, I can check stock levels using the interface. Depending on the UI, it may actually be easier for me to open the door and look to see if the fridge has what I need in it. Bearing in mind if it does, I'll need to open the door anyway.

      Yes, it can enable me to surf the web and watch media. So can my phone (which I normally have) or my tablet, which is normally around the house somewhere.

      1. katrinab Silver badge

        You can get an ipad if you want to look up recipes. Would a smart device with touch screen work better than that? Almost certainly not.

        It is generally recommended that you put food in your cooker before you switch it on. A remote control will not help you do that. Also, remote controls are not new technology. They have been implemented on things like TVs and video recorders, but not kitchen devices. Has anyone ever thought why that might be the case?

        1. Roland6 Silver badge

          >It is generally recommended that you put food in your cooker before you switch it on. ?

          General advice is to pre-heat the oven before you put the food in...

      2. Kubla Cant Silver badge

        An app-controlled ... coffee maker would appear to make more sense, because you can turn on the device remotely

        And having turned it on remotely, what then? Depending on the type of coffee-maker, you'll have various tasks like loading coffee and heating milk that can't be done remotely. Even if you have a bean-to-cup machine that stores and refrigerates its own milk, you'll find it hard to drink the coffee via a phone app.

        1. Mage Silver badge
          FAIL

          Teas Maid

          A clock and a kettle with a switch under to disable power if you forgot to fill it. They have been selling these since before home computers with CP/M

          You still have to remember to fill it each night.

          To wash the cups and bring them back.

          What about the milk?

          Remote controlled TVs sort of make sense. Radio less so. The Teasmaid proves that there is a market for totally useless appliances.

          1. Blofeld's Cat
            Devil

            Re: Teas Maid

            "The Teasmaid proves that there is a market for totally useless appliances"

            A former friend gave Ms Cat and myself a Goblin Teasmaid, back in the early '80s.

            I still recall being woken up by ten minutes of bubbling, hissing, screeching and small explosions followed by a raucous buzzer.

            Occasionally we discovered that the boiling water had ignored the slightly misaligned teapot and had instead started to dissolve the MFI dressing table on which it rested.

            Even when the wretched thing managed to make a hot beverage, one of us still had to fetch milk from the fridge in the kitchen - as you correctly noted.

            We gave it to a colleague who made the mistake of saying she was thinking of buying one.

          2. Stoneshop Silver badge
            Holmes

            Re: Teas Maid

            Teasmade, you heathen.

            The Teasmaid proves that there is a market for totally useless appliances.

            It's an alarm clock that makes tea for you to wake up to.. Instead of a nasty ringer you get the creak of the clockwork, the water starting to boil, the hissing of steam and at the end a nasty buzzer.

            All the other steps you mention you would have to do anyway, It also saves you from having to deal with boiling water before being fully woken up.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Teas Maid

              > Teasmade, you heathen.

              Yes. The 'gobbling tease maid' is a completely different, er, cup of tea.

        2. Stoneshop Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Depending on the type of coffee-maker, you'll have various tasks like loading coffee

          You do that when you set the timer. Been doing that since my student days.

          and heating milk

          Err, what? Black. And no sugar either.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "you'll find it hard to drink the coffee via a phone app."

          For a busy working parent, this still has the advantage of freeing up the time you would have spent making the coffee before leaving it somewhere to not get drunk.

          Or maybe I just need more sleep. Or maybe a coffee to wake me up. Now where did I leave it?

      3. c1ue

        You're right, but missing the point.

        The app is there to spy and collect Big Data on every user.

        The interface to the hardware device is the shiny lure...

    8. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Remembering the expiry dates of stuff in it can be a problem

      If you've got so much stuff with an expiry date that you can't readily see all the expiry dates, then you've probably bought so much food that you're not going to eat it all in time anyway.

      1. katrinab Silver badge

        The expiry date is usually printed on the bag. It could be face-down inside the fridge, or folder over in some way so that it is not visible without moving it.

        1. Rich 11 Silver badge

          "Readily see" includes moving it, or moving something aside to see what's behind it. Not so easy with a packed fridge.

      2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        I challenge you to read the expiry date printed onto the side of an egg using a bubblejet without taking the egg out of the fridge, holding it up to the light, swearing a few times, asking "is that a six or an eight" and then placing your bet at the listeria casino...

        1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

          Geez! If you can remember when you bought it, it's ok to eat.

          1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

            I have enough things competing for space inside my brain without committing to memory whether I bought those eggs two weeks ago, or three.

    9. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      Re: "It would be nice if I could browse the internet on my fridge door".

      What do you mean: your computer has frozen?

    10. N2 Silver badge
      FAIL

      For £500 you could get quite a decent fridge, end ex.

    11. This post has been deleted by its author

    12. fidodogbreath Silver badge

      The iPad will probably have a longer useful life than a modern refrigerator. When this Sammy dies in 3-4 years, the Fridge Hub will get tossed out with the rest of the unit.

    13. kjw

      Also covered by Gilfoyle Hacks Jian Yang's Smart Fridge - Silicon Valley - he summarises it well at 01:14 to 01:27.

    14. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Remembering the expiry dates of stuff in it can be a problem

      Which is where cats and dogs are quite useful. Not sure if the meat is safe? Offer it to a cat. If they will eat it, it's most likely safe (cats are pure carnivores and won't eat carrion or meat that's going off unless they are really, really desparate. And I can quite safely say that none of my cats are ever that desparate..). Cats also have a much better nose than ours (somewhere roughly equidistant between our sense of smell and that of a dog).

      And if the cat won't eat it, it can go in the dogs food bowl and save us the cost of dog meat. Unless it's green and dripping of course..

    15. the future is back!

      True, true

      LOL I can READ “use before #Brexit on the paté. Nice.

  3. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

    The connected refrigerator has long been the fever dream of many an IoT enthusiast too-much-money-for-their-own-good idiot.

    FTFY

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @A Non e-mouse - It's a tenacious zomby

      that refuses to stay dead.

  4. Flywheel Silver badge
    Happy

    That last paragraph ..

    .. had me in stitches. Thank you for brightening my day!

    1. DavCrav Silver badge

      Re: That last paragraph ..

      "...we're pretty sure the subsequent numeric overflow..."

      Of course, this should be a buffet overflow.

  5. sbt Silver badge
    Flame

    Sure, it'd be handy to be able to tell what's in the fridge without opening it...

    ... and letting all the cold out.

    But I'm pretty sure you can just make the door out of this high tech transparent material. Gnass? Gvass? Something like that.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sure, it'd be handy to be able to tell what's in the fridge without opening it...

      making the sides from gnass is too crude, too... vulgar. The only fair solution would be to make all sides from screens displaying ads. Preferably with built-in micro-projectors to cast ads on your kitchen walls and ceiling for the ultimate cool. Watch my "ultimatecool" youtube channel soon...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not sure the comparison is valid

      Glass would get condensation on it

      1. Martin an gof Silver badge

        Re: Not sure the comparison is valid

        Glass would get condensation on it

        Which is why the glass fridges and freezers in the supermarket have fans.

        Samsung used to make transparent LCD screens and demo'd a Coke fridge with one forming the door. Can't find the Samsung one now, but here's a similar device

        M.

      2. David Bird

        Re: Not sure the comparison is valid

        I have a glass fronted drinks fridge and the booze view is never obstructed by condensation.

      3. Stoneshop Silver badge

        Re: Not sure the comparison is valid

        Those glass-doored drinks fridges tend to have double glazing because of that. And because of the terrible thermal conductive properties single glass has.

        1. jmch Silver badge
          Headmaster

          Re: Not sure the comparison is valid

          "And because of the terrible thermal conductive properties single glass has"

          Single glass actually has excellent thermal conductive properties!

          It does have terrible thermal INSULATION properties

          1. TechnicalBen Silver badge

            Re: Not sure the comparison is valid

            Terrible is a relative word. ;)

            1. tim 13

              Re: Not sure the comparison is valid

              You've met my relatives...

    3. Cuddles Silver badge

      Re: Sure, it'd be handy to be able to tell what's in the fridge without opening it...

      Transparent aluminium?

      As for letting the cold out, I assume that's at least part of the justification for the idea. However, it doesn't actually happen. Air (gasses in general for that matter) has an extremely small specific heat capacity, especially when compared to something like water. If you carefully pumped all the cold air out of your fridge and replaced it with air at room temperature, it would increase the temperature of a litre of milk by somewhere around 1 degree, if that was the only thing inside. If you have a fridge full of various solids and liquids, the temperature and energy change to them caused by letting in a little bit of warm air when the door is opened isn't even a rounding error on the measurement.

      And of course, even if you've managed to make your life so incredibly energy efficient that the tiny loss from opening the fridge door is a real worry for you, installing a large internet-connected touchscreen display probably isn't going to help matters.

      1. sbt Silver badge
        Boffin

        It doesn't actually happen

        Well, this review of the literature suggests an effect.

        I've found keeping it reasonably full reduces the duty cycle of my fridge a lot, as does reducing the door openings if it's less full. I live in a warmish climate with no A/C.

        1. Kiwi Silver badge

          Re: It doesn't actually happen

          Well, this review of the literature suggests an effect.

          Bloody hell. Thanks for the rather chilling read! I knew the numbers were bad, but even the 30% quoted in places in that article (quick skim - to tired to read in depth sorry) is scary! Even 10% of food going to waste is a hell of a lot! (and that's the wastage before getting to the house even, not considering what is purchased, left in the fridge/cupboard for a decade, then tossed in a mad fit before the new girlfriend arrives)

          I've found keeping it reasonably full reduces the duty cycle of my fridge a lot, as does reducing the door openings if it's less full. I live in a warmish climate with no A/C.

          Yup, I also have used that practice especially when poorer. Used to keep a lot of bottles of water in the fridge when things were running low and it'd be a while before I was filling it again. Used to also get mocked till a very long power cut, and whereas people were finding their fridges and freezers getting badly warm after just 4 or 5 hours, mine was still plenty cold after more than 12 hours. (limiting the opening helped a lot too).

    4. Jan 0

      Re: Sure, it'd be handy to be able to tell what's in the fridge without opening it...

      For only a bit more than half the price of this Samsung, John Lewis will sell you a Lucky Goldstar "Instaview"* fridge.

      *what normal people would call a big window in the door!

      I think that an A++ fridge or fridge freezer for well under a thousand is more than adequate.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

    this calls for a patent: if you tilt it to one side and wheel it into your living room, and unfold the 21-inch screen, the you could have a perfect twofor. Plus, with its cavernous, empty space, it would make the ultimate sub-woofer for your kids' fiesta, never mind a final resting space should your better half decide to intervene. "Would you like to add some glazing to your order to go with the beef inside m'm?"

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Stop

      Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

      It's a fridge. It goes in the kitchen, not in the middle of the living room. Anything that makes noise other than my TV or stereo gets shut down pretty damn quick.

      The whole concept is ludicrous and I will not have that in my house.

      Ever.

      1. Alister Silver badge

        Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

        Anything that makes noise other than my TV or stereo gets shut down pretty damn quick.

        Other family members?

        ;)

      2. Roland6 Silver badge

        Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

        >It's a fridge. It goes in the kitchen

        Its for all those people who are aways in the kitchen at parties...

        1. Jean Le PHARMACIEN

          Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

          I am Jona Louie and claim my £5000

    2. LDS Silver badge

      Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

      We removed TVs from the kitchen and dining room. Mobes are also not welcome. That makes people talk to each other instead of hissing "sssshhh" sounds to listen to some brain-dead show. The TV is only in the TV room. People can easily record anything broadcasted at lunch/dine hours.

      To avoid to become something like this:

      https://marvelpresentssalo.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/idiocracy-ow-my-balls.jpg

      Moreover, fridges are rarely put in the centre of a room, mine is in one of the corners.

      1. Joe W Silver badge

        Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

        TV. In the kitchen? Why? And the dining room? That's.... I mean really totally crazy. Why would anybody do that at all?

        1. Kiwi Silver badge

          Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

          TV. In the kitchen? Why? And the dining room? That's.... I mean really totally crazy. Why would anybody do that at all?

          Back in the early 90's I boasted that I was rich enough to have a TV in my kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom and even my laundry. Worked well until someone pointed out that they were all the same room :(

      2. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

        Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

        @LDS - You write as though 'kitchen', 'dining room' and 'TV room' are separate rooms.

        Meet the nano flat.

        1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

          Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

          400 sq ft? Luxury! When I was first married in Honkers our flat was a whopping 200 sq ft.

          1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
            Coat

            Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

            @J.G.Harson - Read further, it is featuring 8 flats that are below 400 sq ft, and the smallest is 150 sq ft. Secondly, this is a lifestyle article! This luxury could be yours!

            BTW, was that 200 sq ft Gross or Net?

            1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

              Re: monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

              From memory, based on picturing in my head where the furniture was and assigning standard-ish values, it was about 12ft x 16ft internally, but that was reduced by a wall around the kitchen/bathroom so subtract 6inches by 16ft. My best estimate is here.

  7. Nick

    Teen uses smart fridge to tweet after mum confiscates phone

    https://metro.co.uk/2019/08/14/teen-uses-smart-fridge-to-tweet-after-mum-confiscates-phone-10569110/

    (although the story seems not to be actually, you know, true)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Teen uses smart fridge to tweet after mum confiscates phone

      I have a vague impression that such stories are "inserted" by various agencies working for various departments of various "manufacturers" trying to make people talk about a new and revolutionary idea (sound of retching). And hey, it works, they made up a story, you inserted a link, I picked it up and entered a comment (never mind how shitty it is, it matters not), somebody else will point it out, etc, etc. Yeah, it works :(

  8. chivo243 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Dr. Ian Malcolm : God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.

    I don't get it... My fridge doesn't need to be connected to the www, nor does my water cooker, lightbulbs, thermostats, TV, dishwasher etc. What kind of a world will my son have to endure?

    1. Oh Matron!

      Re: Dr. Ian Malcolm : God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.

      The second he works out how to root it and install fortnite, you're in trouble

    2. Kane Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Dr. Ian Malcolm : God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.

      "I don't get it... My fridge doesn't need to be connected to the www, nor does my water cooker, lightbulbs, thermostats, TV, dishwasher etc. What kind of a world will my son have to endure?"

      Wow, you have a water cooker? You're well posh, we just have a kettle!

      1. Alister Silver badge

        Re: Water cooker

        Could be worse, you could have an old geyser hanging around in your kitchen...

        1. chivo243 Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Water cooker

          I am the old geezer in my kitchen!

          1. Bowlers

            Re: Water cooker

            If anyone wants an old geyser in the kitchen I'm available, just make sure your IOT fridge stocks Newky Brown and I'm no trouble.

      2. dajames Silver badge

        Re: Dr. Ian Malcolm : God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.

        Wow, you have a water cooker? You're well posh, we just have a kettle!

        Some neighbours recently showed me their newly-refurbished kitchen -- complete with a special tap that can deliver boiling water. Yes, actually boiling water, just like you get from a kettle.

        If that's not a water-cooker I don't know what is -- but at about a kiloquid a throw it's in the same bracket as this useless Sammy smart-fridge even if it doesn't have an internet connection!

        1. FuzzyWuzzys

          Re: Dr. Ian Malcolm : God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.

          We have those at work, I thought that was a good idea...until I looked up the price! £8,000 to have boiling/chilled water on tap in my kitchen, sorry but a £25 kettle and 4 min wiat will do me thanks!

          1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

            Re: Dr. Ian Malcolm : God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.

            Hmmm, my hands are a bit mucky, I'll just give them a quick wash..... AAARARRGFGVH!jhghkJHg o!u! PI!!!1!!

    3. Oengus Silver badge

      Re: Dr. Ian Malcolm : God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.

      Not the engineers' idea. The engineers only implement the stupid ideas from the design and marketing departments. It will have been some millennial's "wouldn't it be nice if..." wet dream that managed to escape a marketing department brainstorming session.

    4. Electronics'R'Us Bronze badge
      Devil

      Re: Dr. Ian Malcolm : God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.

      "What kind of a world will my son have to endure?

      A fridge that shows ads?

      Just think of the targeted advertising!

      You appear to have too many calories in your fridge! Try our new slimming package! First week free!

      You appear to be a reader of The Register based on the amount of beer in your fridge. Here are some interesting articles you may be interested in!

      The possibilities are endless.

    5. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

      Re: Dr. Ian Malcolm : God help us, we're in the hands of engineers.

      Your son won't have to endure anything. If I remember correctly, the dinosaurs will eat man and women will inherit the earth.

  9. STOP_FORTH
    Boffin

    Reg 'fridge

    Need to get some RFID tags and QR codes on your plastic containers. Maybe a gas chromatography machine as well.

    Sorted!

    1. Rob F

      Re: Reg 'fridge

      I actually did my University last year project on this in 2000. It unfortunately wasn't viable back then, but the cost and supply chain/blockchain availability makes it way more viable than it ever was. The other problem back then was the network connectivity and IoT capability. The latter of this article shows this still is in its infancy.

      I've worked with a number of power groups using SCADA and even their enterprise industry grade boxes are poor protection wise and so any hope of customer grade being anywhere near protected is a pipe dream.

      I imagined a connected kitchen that a) could determine the power requirements for food in microwaves and ovens, b) could actually start cooking food based on your remote commands and c) would give you meal recommendations based on what you had in your house and the expiry dates etc.

      I wanted to patent a) but there was already ambiguous submissions that would have contested it.

  10. Bronk's Funeral

    So, like, is this just an Android thing? Could I conceivably stick Retroarch on it and play Herzog Zwei on a fridge? That would be superb, for about five minutes, and then I'd get bored and depressed about spending three thousand pounds on a big, cold cupboard that can go on the internet for some reason.

  11. alain williams Silver badge

    Carbon footprint ?

    How much more resources are used to build these features into the fridge ? Features that will be played with, shown off to equally gullible mates, for a few weeks and then largely forgotten.

    1. Yet Another Hierachial Anonynmous Coward

      Re: Carbon footprint ?

      And it's life expectancy before it goes to landfill?

      Maybe I'm old fashioned expecting fridges and large appliances to have 20-30 years life.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Carbon footprint ?

        Considering the youngsters, hipsters and millenials (presumably the target for this?) claim to be so concerned about climate change and environmental matters (more than us old farts), they seem to regard items such as this as short life disposable and unrepairable. Along with so much else that they discard along the way because, well, it's more than a couple of years old and out-of-date.

        I suspect there is food in my fridge which has been there longer than some of these machines will last in someones kitchen.

        Make do and mend !!

        1. rnturn

          Re: Carbon footprint ?

          > they seem to regard items such as this as short life disposable and unrepairable

          They probably are going to be unrepairable or, if they are, cost-prohibitive to do so. Nobody fixes anything these days. Toss it out and by another---the new one has better features, anyway.

          1. Kiwi Silver badge
            Paris Hilton

            Re: Carbon footprint ?

            They probably are going to be unrepairable or, if they are, cost-prohibitive to do so. Nobody fixes anything these days. Toss it out and by another---the new one has better features, anyway.

            I recently had a great fridge develop a refrigerant leak. Probably not even 20 years old. Quoted price of fixing was vastly more than I could justify, even though it'd outlast it's replacement. That was the cost of opening it up, inspecting the piping, sealing the leak (and any other bits of piping that were decaying), re-gassing and closing. I even suggested they, instead of hunting and repairing the damaged pipe just replace it (nothing special really, should've been a doddle). No, too much.

            If the gas wasn't such a controlled substance over these parts I'm sure I could've done all that myself, with them inspecting any joints before refilling.

            Paris coz this world is getting pretty fucking stupid in the "making stuff green" shit that really does more damage.

      2. Alister Silver badge

        Re: Carbon footprint ?

        Maybe I'm old fashioned expecting fridges and large appliances to have 20-30 years life.

        My parents recently had to buy a new fridge, their old one had finally given up.

        It was bought new in 1961, and had survived three house moves. It was older than me!!

        1. Stork Silver badge

          Re: Carbon footprint ?

          In that case they may have waited too long. The energy efficiency of fridges and freezers has improved an awful lot since then.

      3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Carbon footprint ?

        "Maybe I'm old fashioned expecting fridges and large appliances to have 20-30 years life."

        They'll probably lease them, like everything else in their lives (or as we used to call it in the old days, "renting".)

      4. Kiwi Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Carbon footprint ?

        Maybe I'm old fashioned expecting fridges and large appliances to have 20-30 years life.

        Why such a short life span?

        My microwave pre-dates the 80s. I have a mate with a perfectly functional chest freezer that pre-dates me. Other than the odd clean and a change of seal, these things really could last more than 40 years if built and used right.

    2. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Carbon footprint ?

      Our fridge is older than the twins (1 at Uni)

      Thought it was getting knackered but yes I found the spares!

      Nice new handle now.

    3. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Carbon footprint ?

      ^ Maybe the attached monitor can double up as a Smart Power Meter display and can save the planet.

  12. Mike 125

    Luddites

    Come on you people- this fridge has a 'Digital Inverter Compressor'. I gotta get me some of that. That beats the pants off Dyson's digital motor.

    When did 'digital' get cool again? It was boring by the late '80s. Everything sprouted red 7 segments- even stuff which needed to show a trend. Nonsense.

    Must be a retro thing...

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Re: Luddites

      Digital is cool when its useful. Putting digital into everything is like putting light bulbs on everything - it may seem fun for a minutes, but then you've got light coming off every conceivable surface and it's just too much.

      1. rnturn

        Re: Luddites

        We've got so many appliances and other devices with bright LEDs on them we really don't need to use the old night lights we have. We've taken to putting tape over a lot of them.

    2. Alister Silver badge

      Re: Luddites

      Most compressor motors are digital - they're either on or off...

      1. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Re: Luddites

        they're either on or off...

        That means nothing electronic in the world today is digital. 'Causes it's always on 24/7...

        ...and spying on you for secretive organisations,the Government and Facebook.

    3. Craig 2 Silver badge

      Re: Luddites

      Hey, I still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea!

      1. katrinab Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Luddites

        In common with most people about half my age, the lock screen on my phone is my watch. I was a very early adopter of that trend.

  13. big_D Silver badge
    Coat

    64-bit

    If this hack's elderly fridge was forced to count the calories contained within, we're pretty sure the subsequent numeric overflow would make a missing certificate seem minor in comparison.

    That's the problem when you only have 64-bits to play with. :-P

  14. mark l 2 Silver badge

    I assume Samsung has some old Android tablet parts hanging around they could no longer sell so decided they would mate them up to a fridge to sell to idiots for a vastly increased price.

    While having a camera inside the fridge might be used very occasionally say if your at the supermarket and want to check whether you have ran out butter or not, as others have pointed out this relies on you laying out all the items in your fridge side by side so they can be easily viewed and even then it won't help you see inside tubs, jars etc to see how much is left in them.

    1. Oengus Silver badge

      With a 21.5-inch touchscreen embedded in one of the stainless steel doors That is one hell of a tablet...

      1. doublelayer Silver badge

        But I doubt the screen size is directly proportional to the processing, memory, and storage. They could have obtained all of those parts from their extra inventory and simply attached a larger screen to the result. Of course, since nobody will actually run all that much on this device, perhaps that's the most efficient choice for all involved.

      2. ITS Retired

        It would be mounted vertically. So only 13 or 14 inches wide.

        To watch TV, or a movie on it, you'd have to lay down on the counter.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Couldn't you just turn the fridge on its side? Much easier.

  15. Simon Harris Silver badge

    "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

    My main use case for a screen in the kitchen is following a recipe, for which my phone or the ipad is sufficient - but I want the screen in front of me and movable as I switch between worktop and cooker hob, not bolted onto the front of a kitchen appliance at what is surely going to be an inconvenient angle and position to read from where I am.

    On the occasions when I have tried to use a screen for entertainment in the kitchen, I usually find that I'm too busy cooking to be able to watch the screen at the same time and might as well just be listening to something instead (see above re phone/ipad).

    1. batfink Silver badge

      Re: "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment"

      If you're just listening then you could just use one of those new-fangled "wireless" devices.....

  16. Oengus Silver badge
    Pint

    Perfect use

    I have the perfect use for this fridge. With it coming into summer here in the Antipodes it can monitor the weather and ensure that it has enough cold beer on hand. If it detects LBL (Low Beer Level) it can automatically check the different stores to see which has the best price for my favourite tipple (delivered of course) and place the order.

    Note to self: build an IoT enabled robot to automatically stock the fridge when the beer is delivered.

    The fridge can also check my social calendar to see who will be dropping in. AI would use past visit data to predict expected consumption to ensure that enough of their favourite tipple is on hand (optimally it can send them a message to ensure they bring their preferred tipple to top up if low).

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Perfect use

      Don't forget to order a bottle of sherry for the shielas!

    2. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

      Re: Perfect use

      Can you tag certain people so that you, entirely coincidentally, "just run out" of their favourite whenever they arrive?

      1. Kiwi Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Perfect use

        Can you tag certain people so that you, entirely coincidentally, "just run out" of their favourite whenever they arrive?

        I know way to many where the act of asking them to help top up your stocks of their preferred drink means they won't show up at all.

        Knowledge I've put to good use on a few occasions... :)

  17. Richard Gray 1
    Pint

    My idea for a smart fridge..

    The only smart bit of a smart fridge for me would be to work out if the fridge is cold enough to wait until the 'leccy is cheap ( yes this relies on smart infrastructure too) in order to cool down to balance the power grid.

    I'd also like zones of various coolness, so 2-3 C for meat etc, and proper cellar temperature for beer without having to resort to a second fridge.

    Beer because obvs

  18. adam payne Silver badge

    With a 21.5-inch touchscreen embedded in one of the stainless steel doors, Samsung touts the monster refrigerator as a centre for "non-stop music, video & TV entertainment" as well as stopping fresh food from going a bit whiffy.

    I'm seeing a serious problem here, not enough room for fridge magnets.

    1. Simon Harris Silver badge

      I see an opportunity for a new fridge app here.

      Use the fridge's camera to take a snapshot of each of your fridge magnets and then you can have virtualised fridge magnets as overlays on the touch screen. If the door includes an accelerometer for motion sensing, it could even virtualise them falling off if you slam the door too hard.

      1. rnturn

        I would not find it surprising if someone at Samsung actually made the argument that little Johnnie's or Susie's teachers could email their latest artistic creations directly to the fridge for display.

  19. 45RPM

    Yeah but no but

    It’s bad enough having to apply security updates to my phone, computer and routers without having to do the lightbulbs, fridge, tv, loudspeakers and whatnot.

    My TV is smart only because I couldn’t find a dumb one with the spec I wanted - but I don’t let it connect to my network.

    Everything else in my house, including its owner, is as thick as porcine faeces (and I like it that way). My fridge is now nigh on 15 years old (and has just had a service by Fisher & Paykel - so hopefully will last another 15). Will Samsung continue to provide parts for this in 15 years, let alone update the damn things software?

    I have my doubts.

    1. Jean Le PHARMACIEN

      Re: Yeah but no but

      Shit, a fridge service! WTF?

      Dont know where you are but last time I saw a Fisher & Paykel device it was a ventilator in ITU (OK - has one in an AirBnB in NY and wished it was a Miéle)

      We're running 20yr old Liebherr and no screens here.

  20. Goldmember

    Uh huh

    "Still, its good to see that thanks to the wonders of smart technology, a once mundane kitchen appliance can now perform all manner of Android-powered wonder."

    As well as sending as much information as possible about the user, back to base.

    Having recently finished Ed Snowden's biography, I am more than a little wary or IoT fridges, which get a particular mention.

    Also El Reg, where is the promised review of said publication?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If the security admin was being diligent and setup deep SSL inspection to monitor network traffic from IoT devices like this, then they would get cert errors. The SSL proxy's cert would need to be installed on devices to avoid cert errors. Not saying that's what happened, since that's not a good strategy for IoT and customer facing networks, but it makes me consider how I would protect my network if those were the cards I was dealt.

    1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      but it makes me consider how I would protect my network if those were the cards I was dealt.

      I think it would involve locating the wifi antenna and applying a pair of tin snips.

  22. cheb

    The only thing that surprises me is that the cooling function of the fridge still works when the computing side doesn't.

  23. scrubber

    Drive wear

    If the fridge cannot write logs does it get bricked?

  24. Jellied Eel Silver badge

    GoFeedMe(tm?)

    So this fridge is perfect for the social media generation!

    Like the contents of my fridge? Don't forget the thumbs up! Don't like? Send me stuff* and you may see it live(ish) on the fridgecam!

    The fridge could finally disprove the idea that TANSTAFL. Could even combine it as an eating channel** & maybe throw in some cookery for the complete Internet experience***!

    *Probably not minature C-clamps. Someone's already had that idea, and might be regreting it.

    **The Internet is weird like that.

    ***Contact my business address for rates to display your produce prominently!

  25. David 45

    Silly

    Just two words.....bloody ridiculous!

  26. Chad W. Smith

    Don't Buy Samsung appliances.

    In 2017 I bought a house built in 2013 that came with all Samsung appliances. We have already replaced the refrigerator and the dishwasher. And looking to get rid of the stove and microwave next. Luckily the previous owners took the clothes washer and dryer with them! First, the "fridge". It started making a terrible noise and didn't stay cold enough. Since it was one with ice in the door, but a drawer freezer on bottom, the ice maker was inside the fridge. When the fridge started getting too warm, the ice would melt, then refreeze frosting and jamming the ice maker. We did some digging and found the cause. Poor design. There is a fan behind the false wall on the interior of the fridge. Due to a poor design ice would build up behind this false wall, the fan would then hit the ice as it went by causing the terrible noise. Also behind this false wall is the thermometer. With ice built up next to the thermometer, the fridge "thought" it was actually colder in there than it was. the only "fix" for this was to unplug it, take things out that would perish, and take a hair dryer to the back to melt the ice buildup. To prevent the noise, you'd have to do this about once a month. After a couple months of this nonsense, we replaced it. Not a great or long story about the Dishwasher, it just sucked, it doesn't clean the dishes, it's usually hard to tell if the damn thing ran or not if you run it, and then look a day or so later. Somehow we seem to burn everything on the stove top, and anything in the actual oven always takes way longer than the recipe says it will. The Microwave seems to work ok, but the controls are confusing and frustrating at times. Now, I've got nothing against Samsung, I think the phones they make are pretty awesome, but home appliances? No, they are over priced and poorly designed.

    1. Oengus Silver badge

      Re: Don't Buy Samsung appliances.

      I think the phones they make are pretty awesome, but home appliances?

      Phones are designed to last for 2-3 years and be replaced. Home appliances are expected to last 10+ years. Samsung's design and build philosophy seems to be aimed at the commodity, short life time market where they generate sales from "obsolescence by design".

    2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: Don't Buy Samsung appliances.

      I've previously bought both a Samsung TV (of the non-smart variety) and 24" monitor. The monitor was nice enought, but started randomly turning itself on and off after about 6 years before finally giving up the ghost, to be replaced by a cheaper Acer UHD one.

      The TV still works, but very occasionally has been known to randomly turn itself on, at full volume, for no discernable cause (for this reason, we call it Pazuzu). The speaker causes terrible vibrations in the casing at certain frequencies, which could no doubt have been designed out with a bit of foam in the casing, and just smacks of lack of quiality. The TV was bought as a "bundle" deal that included a DVD recorder. The DVD recorder never worked, even to play DVDs. It went to the local tip.

      All in all, not a great experience of either. When the TV finally dies, it will be replaced by a non-Samsung one.

      I recently bought a dishwasher. A little research showed that the Samsung ones are known to be expensive and unreliable. We went for a Siemens in the end, which, so far, does the job well.

      1. MJI Silver badge

        Re: Don't Buy Samsung appliances.

        They used to make good HDDs then sold the plant to WD.

        My boss had a Samsung TV, had to swap it due to naughty HDMI ports.

        My TV has been reliable and trouble free, but is a Sony.

        However my Sony video camera failed about 15 years ago, the pick up tube wore out. Apart from that I had to have its lead replaced once, and they also serviced it. Mind you its partner recorder still works but is not quite 40 years old.

      2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: Don't Buy Samsung appliances.

        Corrections - FWIW, the current monitors are Asus ones, not Acer, and the dishwasher is a Bosch, not a Siemens (although I have a feeeling they are the same with a different badge on the front, as Bosch now apparently owns Siemens)

  27. Palpy
    Joke

    I do NOT understand.

    Why are the IOT people missing the obvious?

    If fridges are to be smart and automated, the obvious application is to add robotic sex. Yes, attached to the fridge. Many a teenager has appeared, to his or her parents, to be standing in the kitchen, fridge open, humping the door.

    Business opportunity!

    The idIOT designers have already added nozzles and pumps for dispensing fluids, and orifices and handles in abundance. I suppose the audio-visual enhancements would implement porn-as-a-service or something.

    Don't tell me Samsung and other tech-whores are too morally squinchy to sink to such levels. I don't believe it.

    1. Kiwi Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: I do NOT understand.

      If fridges are to be smart and automated, the obvious application is to add robotic sex. Yes, attached to the fridge. Many a teenager has appeared, to his or her parents, to be standing in the kitchen, fridge open, humping the door.

      Oh, "Oh Matron" was already way ahead of you over here..

      Mine's the rather dingy-looking creepy raincoat. Yes, the rubber one.

  28. Borg.King
    Coat

    SMEG

    ..as Dave Lister would no doubt opine.

    5 million years in stasis and not a single expired cert on Red Dwarf.

    (Mine's the one with the hard light drive in the pocket.)

    1. ecofeco Silver badge

      Re: SMEG

      It seems we skipped right over the Talky Toaster and went straight to "Are you sure you don't want certs?"

  29. Nifty

    The tech already exists without any IOT. My Smart Receipt aka QR code gets scanned by my phone app. App now knows the expiry date of everything I bought and a probability on whether it's likely to be stored in fridge or larder. It pops up a notification if anything approaches its eat-by date. Any new purchase on item will cancel the last record on an assumption I've used the last lot up. App can also scan empty packaging barcode to mark item as eaten and direct me to the correct home recycle bin at same time. Loose fruit thats unpackaged early is the challenge. All rough and ready stuff but potentially cheap to implement and helpful.

    Wonder why the retailers are unkeen to roll something like this out. Waste = profit maybe?

  30. Blackjack

    How much for an offline Fridge?

    I don't want my toaster to leak my credit card details over the Internet.

    I do not want my fridge to sell the data of what I eat online.

    And I definitely don't want a home robot that can be hacked to open my doors or windows for thieves.

    Password manager? Your passwords are safer on an offline text notebook, unless you lose it of course.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: How much for an offline Fridge?

      Toaster

      Whenever someone mentions smart toasters I think of Talkie Toaster

      1. Blackjack

        Re: How much for an offline Fridge?

        https://youtube.com/results?search_query=red+dwarf+toaster

        I miss that show, wish the whole show had got remastered not just the first three seasons.

  31. deadlockvictim Silver badge

    FML

    20 years' ago one of the young women in our office wanted us to all start talking about FML (Fridge Markup Language). She had noticed that the CEO was fond of buzzwords (especially in his sales pitches) and she was convinced that if he heard enough of us talking about it, that he would use it.

    Such foresight. If she had written the spec. for it then she might be a wealthy woman on the strength of it.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the three cameras that can display the contents of the interior on that screen

    Most of the time the contents of my fridge is a shameful assembly of beer and left-over takeaway food (and bacon of course, no fridge should be without bacon). The last thing I'd want to do is display that on an screen for all to see.

  33. Ian Joyner Bronze badge

    Fridgy Frigerator

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRq_SAuQDec

  34. Luiz Abdala Bronze badge
    Trollface

    Glass door on fridges?

    Why aren't they popular? Coke sells their product on those. You can tell what's inside without opening them, which is... efficient.

    Why freaking cameras, when simple double-panel glass would do it?

    Or looking at abandoned slice of pizza from yesterday would freak you out?

    1. Stoneshop Silver badge

      Re: Glass door on fridges?

      Why freaking cameras, when simple double-panel glass would do it?

      Most fridges have racks on the inside of the door, for bottles, milk cartons and such. A glass door wouldn't combine well.

  35. anthonyhegedus Silver badge

    American dream

    The Americans have long held a fantasy that their fridges should be connected to the internet and be the 'hub' of the house. Bill Gates once said something along those lines. A fridge is a place to pin childrens' drawings, post-its and lottery tickets to. I cannot understand why you'd need a screen on one. None of it makes the slightest bit of sense to me. If you want a screen in the kitchen, there are lots of 'assistant' type things available with screens.

    The thing is, and this is the crux of the matter, that most devices last a long time - Fridges, washing machines, dishwashers, cars, boilers, kettles, TVs even USED to be able to last 10-15 years, or even longer - maybe 20+ in some cases. But stick a screen on it, give it wifi and call it 'SMART' and you've just reduced its useful lifespan to 3-5 years at most. After that, the manufacturer won't support any updates, the wifi will be too slow, the OS out of date, and it'll be time to throw it away. I've just read about older Tesla cars where the flash storage has worn out because so many gigabytes a day are written as logs. Cars out of warranty will see a $3000 bill for replacing the flash!

    1. Updraft102 Silver badge

      Re: American dream

      Which Americans are those?

      I live in a country full of them, and I don't know anyone who thinks this is anything other than a really ridiculous idea.

  36. martinusher Silver badge

    IoT? Bah! Humbug!

    I find this sort of thing crap, its a solution desperately looking for a problem so you end up with a gadget that doesn't actually do anything useful and what it does can't be relied on. A waste of technology, in fact.

    I'm all for intelligent devices but the intelligence has to be relevant. IoT itself is built on a massively inefficient and insecure Web framework that makes it inherently unsuitable for process control. Its main purpose seems to be to convert common household objects to a rental model, everything phoning home in a desperate attempt to add non-existent value, maybe get a revenue stream and maybe sell you even more crap (its an unsustainable business model so the products end up unsupported or even made non-functional -- that is, useless).

    Inventory control on a freezer might be more useful since its periodic clean out and defrost often resembles an archaeological dig. The best way to do this would be a UPC (barcode) scanner near to the freezer connected to a database. RFID tags would be more convenient but also more expensive and less reliable (a tip, BTW -- cheap electronics doesn't like working at 0C).

  37. Sleep deprived
    Facepalm

    So the interior light doesn't turn off after all

    As a kid, I wondered whether the interior light truly turned itself off when closing the fridge door. Now I finally learn it doesn't so as to allow cameras to see what's inside.

  38. Troutdog

    "Old Man Yells at Cloud"

    Christ on a bicycle. Who's buying this shit?

    Presumably the cooling function doesn't rely on DNS or certificates.

    I work in technology, and I don't understand the need or even desire for connected kitchen appliances.

    1. Updraft102 Silver badge

      Re: "Old Man Yells at Cloud"

      I work in technology, and I don't understand the need or even desire for connected kitchen appliances.

      You say that as if it is supposed to sound contradictory, as if there was an "even" in between the "and" and the I", yet I suspect that the reality is that "therefore" would be more fitting.

  39. MachDiamond Silver badge

    Logging

    I expect that in the future insurance companies will require access to your fridge so they can check up on how healthy you are eating. Are you getting your five a day? Has that veg moved at all in the last week.

    How about a log on when the door is opened/light goes on? Want to know when people are home and awake? Looking at fridge door events could be a good indicator.

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