back to article Outlook turned eBay into DD-Bay: Topless busty babe mysteriously fronts souk's emails

eBay UK customers got an unexpected eyeful this week – after a busty topless model bafflingly appeared in some of the online tat souk's emails. When viewing receipts, notifications, and other messages from eBay.co.uk in Microsoft's Outlook mobile app, it seems the sender was a soft-core porno star looking over her shoulder as …

  1. elkster88
    Coat

    If the avatar is still in your email client...

    "If the avatar is still in your email client, an Outlook account reset (Inbox >> Gear icon >> Email Account >> Reset) will remove it, we're told. "

    Umm, just out of curiosity, is there any way to not remove this avatar from my email client?

    Asking for a friend, naturally.

    1. Nick Kew Silver badge
      Angel

      Re: If the avatar is still in your email client...

      I have a little liquor glass (inherited; I don't know how old it is but I think it's at least two generations above me), looks almost like a small eggcup from a distance.

      When full, it displays a very NSFW lady. When you drink up, she disappears.

    2. Muscleguy Silver badge

      Re: If the avatar is still in your email client...

      Considering her assets are very clearly surgically enhanced and pretty much well beyond the natural range they enter the Uncanny Valley for me. I’m on a Mac so don’t run Outlook but I want her gone despite being a red blooded male.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: If the avatar is still in your email client...

        "Considering her assets are very clearly surgically enhanced and pretty much well beyond the natural range they enter the Uncanny Valley for me."

        You're wrong.

        A bigger picture is found here. Her name is Ewa Sonnet and according to her Boobpedia page she is all natural and looks natural to me too.

        All links NSFW, obviously.

        Of course, the Reg journos should have dug up all this information themselves.

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: If the avatar is still in your email client...

          I’d say overdue at the parlour.

        2. jake Silver badge

          Re: If the avatar is still in your email client...

          Boobpedia? That's a thing? Really?

          I guess we finally have proof that TehIntraWebTubes is stuck in perpetual puberty.

          1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

            Re: If the avatar is still in your email client...

            I'm glad it's not just me that has learned something today! (I'm not referring to the site per se, but the fact that such things exist. Now I'm not sure whether I should get out more or less - avoiding people seems to be a valid option in the light of this revelation!)

            1. phuzz Silver badge

              Re: If the avatar is still in your email client...

              "the fact that such things exist"

              Was it really that much of a surprise?

          2. hplasm Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: If the avatar is still in your email client...

            "Boobpedia? That's a thing? Really?"

            All human knowledge must be classified,filed, stamped, indexed, and so on.

            Such is the way.

            - Book of Google, Year of Fnarr.

        3. Craig 2 Silver badge

          Re: If the avatar is still in your email client...

          "Of course, the Reg journos should have dug up all this information themselves."

          They asked one of the team to investigate 2 days ago but haven't heard from him since.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm OUTRAGED

    I didn't get to see this! :/

    1. Sampler

      Re: I'm OUTRAGED

      I'm ourtaged the article opens with:

      "eBay UK customers got an unexpected eyeful this week"

      and not:

      "eBay UK customers got more than they bargained for this week"

  3. Shooter

    We're looking into the matter and will take the necessary actions to support our customer

    So Microsoft is going to provide a brassiere?

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: We're looking into the matter and will take the necessary actions to support our customer

      "So Microsoft is going to provide a brassiere?"

      With an undetermined, yet randomly variable amount* of cups.

      * See also : N-Titty

  4. jake Silver badge
    Pint

    It's friday, so ...

    Some bumbling boob seems to have made a right tit of himself. Do you think MS will let us know when he's busted? It's not like they are ElReg's bosom buddies. My guess is they are udderly ticked off that some got a glands at the pic and will be holding the details close to their chest.

    Gut feeling is it was an accident and somebody's feeling accident porn at the moment.

    This round's on me, so y'all don't notice me sneaking out ...

    1. MonkeyCee Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: It's friday, so ...

      Hey jake, you forgot your coat....

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: It's friday, so ...

        Coat? What coat?

        I'm in Sonoma, California. I have no idea where my coat even is at the moment, because I haven't needed it since the end of February. I might go looking for it in mid November, if needed. (It's 0025 hours on Sunday morning here, the thermometer on the wall of the barn reports 64F, 17C ... supposed to be 83F/28C this afternoon.)

  5. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Hahahahaha ...

    Now that's what I call "tits up"!

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Happy

      Total Inability To Support Usual Pictures?

      1. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge
        Happy

        Total Inability To Support Usual Pictures?

        Total Inability to Screen Unsafe Photos (or Pictures)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fallen Maddonna with the big boobies

    Outraged I am, outraged!

    1. Glen 1 Bronze badge

      Re: Fallen Maddonna with the big boobies

      Good Moaning!

  7. m0rt Silver badge

    "Do let us know, please, if you too spot anything weird and wonderful on the internet."

    Erm.......

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Conundrum1885 Bronze badge

    Tits up

    Because.

    Also wasn't there an update for Fortnite that got pulled because the physics was uhm, too realistic?

    1. jelabarre59 Silver badge

      Re: Tits up

      Also wasn't there an update for Fortnite that got pulled because the physics was uhm, too realistic?

      So they'd prefer Studio Gainax did them instead? (there's a reason it's called "Gainaxing")

  9. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Hash/UUID collision

    I'm betting they're using 128 bit hashes or 122 bit type 4 UUIDs for image IDs. The odds say that they have no chance of colliding but number theory says they must collide. When you might accidentally lose all of your money or broadcast porn, go for what number theory says. (I have once witnessed type 4 UUIDs from different places colliding.)

    1. mj.jam

      Re: Hash/UUID collision

      The birthday problem for this sort of clashes is well studied.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birthday_attack

      If they did use 128 bit hashes, then the probability of a clash is very low even for billions of images.So I guess that either

      1. They really do have billions of hashes, and were just (un)lucky here.

      2. Somebody has worked out the algorithm used and manufactured a hash collision.

      3. They are using far fewer than 128 bits.

      4. This wasn't a hash attack.

      Given the combination of account it happened with, and the image that ended up being used, I would tend towards this being something that was done deliberately.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hash/UUID collision

      The odds of a UUID4 collision are so low as to be meaningless. If you generate a billion UUIDs a second for 85 years, you would have a 50% chance of one collision.

      The only realistic chance of a collision is by misconfiguration of your pRNG.

  10. GrapeBunch Silver badge
    Coat

    The Humanity

    Looks like a great way to sell skylights.

    Far more commercial impact than the man-with-skylight icon attached >>>

  11. Tom 35 Silver badge

    Was it someones last day on the job yesterday?

    A little gift for the ex-boss on Monday morning?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ""This was a result of a bug discovered in our service in which the image was erroneously pulled from a disabled Microsoft account (MSA)."

    The fact that Microsoft STILL can't even make their own shit work correctly is just mind-boggling.

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