back to article Hull be damned: KCOM shuts shop as UK High Court waves through £627m Macquarie deal

Private equity investor Macquarie's £627m takeover of Hull-based broadband monopoly KCOM has been approved by the UK High Court. Shareholders voted in support of the acquisition, at 120.3p per KCOM share, with the court giving the thumbs-up on Tuesday. In a market update today, KCOM said its shares have now been suspended. …

  1. Alister Silver badge

    Is this the end of cream coloured phone boxes?

    And will they move their company headquarters elsewhere?

    1. DontFeedTheTrolls Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Is this the end of cream coloured phone boxes?

      Why would you want to move your HQ away from the town of one of England's Great Universities?

      Blackadder is proving that Nurse Mary is a German spy

      Captain Blackadder: And then the final irrefutable proof. Remember you mentioned a clever boyfriend?

      Nurse Mary: Yes?

      Blackadder: Well, I leapt on the opportunity to test you. I asked you whether he had been to one of the great universities, Oxford, Cambridge, Hull.

      Mary: Well?

      Blackadder: What you didn't spot is that only two of those are great universities.

      Mary: You swine!

      General Melchett: That's right. Oxford's a complete dump!

      1. ArrZarr Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Is this the end of cream coloured phone boxes?

        Well if they outsourced their HQ to India, then some of their staff my speak English.

    2. Commswonk Silver badge

      Re: Is this the end of cream coloured phone boxes?

      Phone boxes of any colour seem to be on the Critically Endangered list, for understandable reasons.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Is this the end of cream coloured phone boxes?

        Phones boxes are in some places proliferating rapidly. The reason being that as they are still seen as "for public benefit" and party of the communications infrastructure then they are remarkably free from planning restrictions .... and once you've installed your phone box then you've got several large panels you can sell advertising space on .... the issue of whether anyone actually uses the phone is really not relevant to the business plan.

        1. jason 7 Silver badge

          Re: Is this the end of cream coloured phone boxes?

          Hmm they were just used for drunks and druggies to piss in round our way. Thankfully all removed now.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Is this the end of cream coloured phone boxes?

            I’ve seriously wondered if they could be repurposed as actual urinals, with plumbing etc.

            1. Jove Bronze badge

              Re: Is this the end of cream coloured phone boxes?

              The trouble with that idea is that you would end up with anti-social types trying to get a connection in them while others are trying to spend a penny.

        2. Commswonk Silver badge

          Re: Is this the end of cream coloured phone boxes?

          ...once you've installed your phone box then you've got several large panels you can sell advertising space on .... the issue of whether anyone actually uses the phone is really not relevant to the business plan.

          Well perhaps. Prior to BT taking it away because the legitimate takings were minimal the phone box by our local shops was plastered with advertisements, so I'm not sure that BT was making any money from them either.

          Although I never had the occasion to use it I would have been very reluctant to do so for the simple reason that once in there it would have been impossible to see out meaning that it was not beyond the bounds of possibility that one might emerge to an unseen welcoming party.

          Unlikely perhaps, but not impossible, and being of a suspicious mind it always struck me as being an unacceptable risk to personal well - being.

          No see out? No go in...

          1. Badbob

            Re: Is this the end of cream coloured phone boxes?

            A phone box/urinal local to me provided an endless supply of mirth, as it advertised a local KFC with a big arrow and 150m on it. However, the arrow was only correct when the door was open, otherwise it was directing an endless stream of hapless souls hungering for the Colonels secret recipe onto a bus lane and towards a nice fine.

            Stayed that way for years too, until the entire shooting (up) gallery was removed.

            In a side note, I visited a chum down in Somerset a few moons back, and he was an avid geocacher. The sight of him on his hands and knees feeling around all the nooks and crannies of an old fashioned red phone box was enough to put me off my lunch. I hope he washes his hands afterwards.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Liberty Global = Virgin Media?

    If Vodafone bought Liberty Global's European Assets, surely that means they bought Virgin Media?

    1. tmTM

      Re: Liberty Global = Virgin Media?

      No they bought the LG assets in Germany, Romania, Hungary and the Czech Republic.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Liberty Global = Virgin Media?

        So we're not in Europe? That'll sorry out a lot of the Brexit issues!

    2. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

      Re: Liberty Global = Virgin Media?

      I was going to ask the same question, but I see it's been answered. I wonder then if Vodafone have their sights on the rest of the LG assets, and will gobble Virgin Media eventually?

      1. Jove Bronze badge

        Re: Liberty Global = Virgin Media?

        This was an exercise in the rationalisation of low-margin/non-leader territories.

        A merger of ownership of Virgin Media and Vodafone in the UK would be quite a different proposition.

  3. IT Hack
    Pint

    Network Engineers Celebrate!

    Most likely short lived as you can't really improve a turd but I for one, who first encountered this lot in the late 80's...good riddance.

    I have often said to those moaning about Microsoft that they are lucky the did not have to deal with KCOM and I am not a huge MS fan by any stretch.

    Beer coz I do feel for the worker drones under the thumb of horrible management.

    1. Degenerate Scumbag

      Re: Network Engineers Celebrate!

      If the management is bad now, you can count on Macquarie to promote the worst elements and accelerate the process of decline. Take it from someone who witnessed those bastards rape and destroy a company first hand. They typically load it up with debt, extract as much cash as possible through financial engineering, then dump the husk onto some gullible (or perhaps complicit) pension funds before everything goes south.

      1. IT Hack
        Pirate

        Re: Network Engineers Celebrate!

        Pretty standard for all private equity firms that...and indeed a good point.

        Frankly the best thing for KCOM is to be nuked from orbit and let BT take over. Oh wait...

        Pirate coz well pirate is as pirate does.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We're all off to Hull and Back.

    1. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

      @AC "We're all off to Hull and Back."

      I've already bought my one way ticket to Hull and Back.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      We're on the hiiiiiiiighway to Hull...

  5. DML71

    KCOM 0 Marquarie 4

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As a future USS pensioner....

    Is this a good investment missed, or not?

  7. PhillW

    Macquarie

    Hope they make a better job of it than their hospital!

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-49225869

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