back to article UK PM Johnson spins revolving doors, new digital minister falls through

One-time telco company co-founder Nigel Adams is Britain's new minister of digital, the latest appointment in newly hatched moptop PM Boris Johnson's ministerial reshuffle. The Tory MP for Selby and Ainsty takes over from Margot James, who resigned from the position earlier this month after voting to block Johnson from …

  1. Donchik
    FAIL

    Without Friction?

    Solution to Irish border may not be "Frictionless", but with this latest shower certain to be "Bloody Slippery"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Without Friction?

      The best way of testing which is obviously asking Boris to 'bend over, boy'.

      He probably got used to it at public school.

  2. macjules Silver badge

    Full Fibre?

    Boris will probably squirm out of his promises, maintaining that he meant some form of breakfast cereal.

    1. Hollerithevo Silver badge

      Re: Full Fibre?

      Probably squirm out? Probably? Does sun rise in east?

      1. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble? Silver badge

        Re: Full Fibre?

        Probably squirm out? Probably? Does sun rise in east?

        Indeed, it was said with such sincerity and intent to deliver, he should have written it in big letters down the side of a large red bus

        1. Chris Parsons

          Re: Full Fibre?

          It baffles me how anyone could down vote your post. He lied.

    2. Andy The Hat Silver badge

      Re: Full Fibre?

      Actually he's already achieved that promise hasn't he? On the basis that "fibre" means "some fibre in the link somewhere" as was discussed in this very arena some time ago.

      <Edit> https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/04/15/asa_cityfibre_fibre_broadband_judicial_review/

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: Full Fibre?

        Technically, two cocoa tins joined byba length of sisal string would be using full fibre.

  3. Jemma Silver badge

    Saying it with pTerry

    Bergholt Stuttley Johnson - I'm sure we can crowdfund the name change documents etc. It's soo tempting... Must resist...

    If there is life after DEATH then poor ole pTerry will probably have a serious concussion from the years of face-palm. It's like watching Nobby Nobbs playing Havelock Vetinari.

    1. Nick Kew Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Saying it with pTerry

      I think Private Eye's Loon Landing Souvenir Issue gave us the best description for him:

      The Ego has Landed

  4. SotarrTheWizard
    Joke

    What, no role for Harriet Jones ??

    . . . . MP from Flydale-North ?? :)

    1. Jemma Silver badge

      Re: What, no role for Harriet Jones ??

      The one time Daleks would be useful...

      "I'm the Home Secretary...*"

      "Yes, we know..."

      *and there's a cyber-Widdecombe in my wardrobe**

      **Oh dear, I gave myself PTSD (think Prof. Farnsworth). The image of those two getting biblical is a place even I cannot go..

      1. CountCadaver
        Black Helicopters

        Re: What, no role for Harriet Jones ??

        Better watch, you'll be denounced for "misogyny hate crimes" in a minute as you dared comment that any obese female is unattractive....

        (multiple labour mps and one snp mp have tried like hades to force through a very broad "hate crime of misogyny" while claiming misandry isn't their concern.....some feminist commentors have gone so far as to claim misandry is ok as its "the oppressed striking a blow against their oppressors"

        Link as proof: https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/misandry-men-hate-crime-women-sexism-racism-feminism-a8586591.html

        Its like the inane ramblings of one of the freemen on the land.......reading that made my brain hurt with the various ways she tried to argue that bigotry was ok as long as it was women doing it...

        Bigotry isn't ok in anyway shape or form.

        However I wholly disagree with misogyny and misandry being "hate crimes" I'm of the opinion they would have a nasty chilling effect on free speech and would be very slippery and steep slopes towards a thought crime police state....

  5. hplasm Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Starting a sweep-

    How long until the new Home Secretary turns into Big Brother (Sister)?

    1. Jemma Silver badge

      Re: Starting a sweep-

      Oh my various Gods!!

      20,000 new police officers (with 15 minutes training) and Priti But Dense as home secretary.

      Where's that Kit Harrington when you need him?

      I'm sure we can scrape up* some few thousand kilos of CL20 from somewhere.

      *Not literally, you won't live long enough to regret it - the limb/chemist ratio will be completely irrelevant if'n you do..

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Starting a sweep-

        20,000 new police officers (with 15 minutes training)

        To be fair, they may not need much training. There have been about that many officers not long since let go from the police, so it could simply be a case of re-hiring the recently fired.

        1. Jemma Silver badge

          Re: Starting a sweep-

          That'll be great then. They'll have experience at being racist clueless prodnose bigots. 20,000 Gene Hunts - what could possibly go wrong?

          "I think this could have been a hate crime..."

          "As opposed to one of those 'I-really-like-you' crimes?"

          Been raped? We'll have to go through your phone before we do anything about it? No? Well hard luck then love, our hands are tied - much like yours were; arf arf...

          Black or brown skin? Are you *sure* you aren't a Brazilian electrician? Here, hold this car battery..

          Himmler must be laughing himself sick. It's like an Orwellian Dad's Army.

          1. codejunky Silver badge

            Re: Starting a sweep-

            @Jemma

            "Been raped? We'll have to go through your phone before we do anything about it? No? Well hard luck then love, our hands are tied - much like yours were; arf arf..."

            Actually thats accusing someone of rape. While they may be a victim it is also very plausible the victim is the accused who did nothing wrong.

            1. Jemma Silver badge

              Re: Starting a sweep-

              NO. IT ISN'T.

              Women and girls who have *been* raped have been told to surrender their phones and passwords or there will be no further investigation into the crime. In the UK.

              This is Police and government policy. Blame the victim, because she's an easy target. This has even happened when the police know full well the identity of the rapist from DNA results. Cases with ironclad (and I don't mean that crappy rolled stuff, I'm talking the full Harvey Cemented) DNA evidence that is incontrovertible have been dropped because of the police trying to go Reichsicherheitsdienst on the victim, her friends and family.

              This has been repeatedly documented and confirmed by the Reichspiglets concerned and would these days probably include the 5 year old I ran into (and actually pretty much saved) whose dad had been fucking her since she was 12 months old and gave her HPV.

              The Tories and the Police Farce they have nurtured are the worst kind of human scum - and the thought of Rees-Mogg anywhere near a cabinet office is horrific in itself.

              Come back, Guido Fawkes, all is forgiven.

              1. codejunky Silver badge

                Re: Starting a sweep-

                @Jemma

                "Women and girls who have *been* raped have been told to surrender their phones and passwords or there will be no further investigation into the crime. In the UK."

                Actually its accusers of rape are being told to surrender their phones. The allegation being disproved in a number of cases (including guilty verdicts) where phones have been looked at.

                "This is Police and government policy. Blame the victim, because she's an easy target."

                Not always she but someone falsely accusing someone else of a crime requires investigation to determine if and who the victim is. We cant assume someone crying rape is honest, an investigation is required and seeing the communication between the potential victim (whoever that is) is part of that.

                In a high profile case Kevin Spacey who has been dropped from employment and even retrospectively removed from a project he worked on has has the case against him dropped due to phone message issues.

                1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                  Re: Starting a sweep-

                  Absolutely right.

                  Until recently I'd have said that any police officer or prosecutor with any significant experience of investigating such cases would be very wary of the risks of simply believing all allegations. The sorts of reports that have turned up in the media over the last few years make me wonder what's going on. The default position seems to have been shifted from "keep an open mind" to "believe the complainant unquestioningly".

                  1. Jemma Silver badge

                    Re: Starting a sweep-

                    Been raped or sexually assaulted have you? I thought not.

                    I have.

                    I didn't even bother reporting it 20 years ago because the police were shit then. But using the victim for deliberate target practice? Essex Police may have been funding their own personal private pedo at the time I was assaulted - but even THEY wouldn't have tried something like that. They were just happily useless - this in a situation where there is DNA, physical evidence and witnesses is incitement to suicide and that old chap is a fucking CRIMINAL OFFENCE.

                    And that whooshing noise is the point going past your head.

                    By all means do your job piggies, be sceptical. But don't do it when there are witnesses, DNA and physical evidence such as defence wounds and internal tearing - and that's by no means the worst of it.

                    Innocent until proven guilty refers to the perpetrator(s), not the victim. What, you going to tell a 5 year old who now probably won't live to 25 that you aren't going to punish the human scum who have stolen her chances to have children and probably murdered her because she won't let the police look through her colouring books?!

                    Or maybe it's OK that she was raped because it was a copper who did it or maybe the son or husband of an MP? Or maybe Prince Charles is a serial killer (married to that who wouldn't be) so the tweens and teens he serves as a hog roast should feel honoured?!

                    Because that's where your attitude will lead us.

                    Legal facts are paramount and of sole importance. Not how you can torture, or support the torture of a vulnerable, potentially suicidal person because you feel like a little willy-waving by proxy.

                    1. Anonymous Coward
                      Anonymous Coward

                      Re: Starting a sweep-

                      "someone falsely accusing someone else of a crime requires investigation to determine if and who the victim is."

                      Maybe we should investigate Police practices a bit more then since they often do the acusing themselves. Perhaps everytime someone says "it wernt me wot done it" we should make Police phone calls public. After all they have nothing to fear if they are inocent.

                      This has nothing to do with false acusations. Police rummaging thru victims phones and refusing to prosicute if they cant, is shoddy behaviour by a bent Police force who are getting so used to being big brother they dont even try to hide it.

                    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                      Re: Starting a sweep-

                      I have investigated a great many. Complaints range from the distressingly genuine to the blatantly false, sometime to excuse the complainant and sometimes downright maliciously. Each complaint that names an alleged attacker potentially creates a victim if that complaint is ill-founded. That means that a conscientious investigator has to keep his or her mind open to this possibility. The knowledge that getting an opinion wrong could do immense harm to someone, the pressure of having to get it right every time was something I found very stressful. It didn't get easier over the years. Far from it, the stress accumulated and was one reason I had to quit. Fortunately in over a dozen years I only ever saw one clearly false complaint get to court*.

                      But the consequence of this is that things are made worse by this for genuine complainants. Nobody dealing with these cases is happy about this but in my time and no doubt since nobody found a solution. In the mean time keep your ire for those who make false allegations; the rest of us were/are doing the best we can.

                      * I was greeted at court by the police apologising for my having been dragged right across the country for the hearing but the DPP had insisted on prosecuting. I'm sure the complainant regretted it almost as much as the accused as an eye-witness exposed her lies in front of her family.

                    3. Cederic Bronze badge

                      Re: Starting a sweep-

                      I have been sexually assaulted, I have been the victim of an attempted gang rape and I have been falsely accused of sexual assault.

                      So I agree entirely that innocent until proven guilty refers to the perpetrator not the victim. I would also like the police to understand up front who the victim is. Legal facts are paramount and of sole importance, which is why the police need full access to evidence that can help establish the legal facts.

                      I mean, today someone was imprisoned for 18 years for lying about these things. It does happen, and it happens a lot - men are substantially more likely to be falsely accused of rape than they are to be murdered, and I'm sure you wouldn't support the police ignoring murder.

                      1. Anonymous Coward
                        Anonymous Coward

                        Re: Starting a sweep-

                        Yet rapecrisis scream that the media makes too much of a fuss about false accussations - lets see if they feel the same way if they were all accussed and named in the press as being a front for a group of female paedophiles brutalising and molesting young boys.......

                        Also note that false accussations of rape from a female very often get little more than a minor tap on the wrist and even after she's been proved to be a liar rape crisis and various feminist groups still claim she's a "victim"

                        Worse still the proposal to ban cross examination of complainants in rape cases, with only a pre recording of very limited questioning by the defence permitted - and all to "drive up the rape conviction rate" without any reference to ensuring that miscarriages of justice don't happen.....mark my words in 20 years there will likely be a scandal (Starting in Scotland) over men falsely accussed and convicted of rape after politiical pressure from the scottish government on the police and fiscal's office and that all of the above were aware that innocent men were being sent to jail.....

            2. mark4155

              Re: Starting a sweep-

              Neither funny or appropriate.

            3. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Starting a sweep-

              No. It's Jemma's post and she can choose which group she wants to talk about. She chose to talk about those who have been raped and report it. You want to talk about another group, a superset of the group Jemma mentions, but Jemma's comments remain valid for group she referenced.

              1. codejunky Silver badge

                Re: Starting a sweep-

                @AC

                "It's Jemma's post and she can choose which group she wants to talk about. She chose to talk about those who have been raped and report it. You want to talk about another group, a superset of the group Jemma mentions, but Jemma's comments remain valid for group she referenced."

                So without investigation how do we establish who is in the raped category and not falsely accused category? This is the problem facing real victims, those who provide false allegations make it hard to believe real victims.

                I am not defending rapists and Jemma is obviously upset by the subject. I am not invalidating what happened to her. I am merely pointing out that false allegations of rape are being used as a weapon and communication with the accuser may make a big difference. It is part of investigating, unless we dont want police to investigate.

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Starting a sweep-

                  Jemma is not "upset" - her words indicate she's a man-hating, fourth wave feminist, ie men are guilty unless proven otherwise.

                2. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Starting a sweep-

                  many women see "rape accussation" = true, man guilty, no need for trial or investigation, commence life sentence, removal from society, seizure of assets

            4. 96percentchimp

              Re: Starting a sweep-

              @codejunky reveals his true sympathies.

              False reporting of sexual assault runs at 2-6%, against a background that 7% of all adult women will be the victim of a sexual assault in their lifetime, yet only only 40% of such crimes are reported, let alone prosecuted.

              False reports get a lot more coverage because the media has always worked on "man bites dog" > "dog bites man".

              A consequence of this is that police officers and juries, like the general public, think that false reporting is a lot more common than it really is, and genuine victims are even more frightened to report their experiences.

              https://theconversation.com/heres-the-truth-about-false-accusations-of-sexual-violence-88049

              https://www.researchgate.net/publication/238713283_Home_Office_Research_Study_293_A_gap_or_a_chasm_Attrition_in_reported_rape_cases

              1. codejunky Silver badge

                Re: Starting a sweep-

                @96percentchimp

                "@codejunky reveals his true sympathies."

                The rule of law? Innocent unless proven guilty? Police investigating crimes? You dont take issue with those things do you?

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Starting a sweep-

            Plenty of downvotes for my previous comment yet not no one refutes the claim with evidence.

            Here's another example "[New recruits] - They'll have experience at being racist clueless prodnose bigots." I bet that was aimed at all the female "pigs" in the force. Not.

            1. werdsmith Silver badge

              Re: Starting a sweep-

              There are plenty of great minds applied to the problem of determining truth where conclusive evidence is not available, and no real solution has been found.

              We are not going to fix it here.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Starting a sweep-

                Indeed.

                The problem is that those responsible for fixing the problem don't have great minds.

        2. Mr Humbug

          <pedant>

          Police officers are immune from redundancy (and also not allowed to unionise). So any recently former police officers either chose to go somewhere better or were thrown out for being caught at something they shouldn't have done. It might be difficult to get the first group back and can you imagine the Guardian's reaction to re-employing the second?

          </pedant>

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            What, you mean the Torygraph would celebrate the re-introduction of bent pigs?!?

            As would you apparently, based on your criticism.

            1. Mr Humbug

              I can't see how you read that into what I wrote. I was pointing out that the reductions in police numbers did not mean there are plenty of trained people ready to walk back into the job.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Your were ridiculing the Guardian for objecting.

      2. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: Starting a sweep-

        > Priti But Dense as home secretary

        The correct form is of course "Priti Vacant"...

        1. Jemma Silver badge

          Re: Starting a sweep-

          The worst part of the whole situation with Ms Priti Vacant?

          She's the MP for Colchester - I happen to live there. I am so happy I can't be blamed for her.

          And mark this. If you participate in "democracy" in this country you are to blame for the situation we are in whichever way you vote. You just empower and encourage them, which is the last thing we need..

          Boris "The Brainless Brexiteer" Johnson reminds me of the Meatsafe Murderer - in his memoirs it'll be "I didn't wanna do it, I only did it so they'd take my testicles out of the Magimix".

          Or maybe Nazi Grandfather...

          "where were you during Brexit?"

          "I vos vorking on my great aunt's farm in Cornvall from 2014 to 2021.."

          1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

            Re: Starting a sweep-

            As someone said the other day, maybe Ms Vacant will solve Brexit by selling the UK to somebody she met on holiday.

            1. Rich 11 Silver badge

              Re: Starting a sweep-

              Ms Vacant will solve Brexit by selling the UK to somebody she met on holiday

              Or failing that, she'll sell the country to Benjamin Netanyahu.

              No, wait, I think I might have meant 'sell out'.

          2. Spasticus Autisticus

            Re: Starting a sweep-

            'The worst part of the whole situation with Ms Priti Vacant?

            She's the MP for Colchester'

            Nope - Will Quince is. Priti Patel is MP for Witham (wit-am, not with-am)

            Remainers - getting it wrong a lot :-)

            Chill a bit @Jemma

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Starting a sweep-

              And Brexiters getting it even more wrong than the Remainers - oh dear ;)

              Someone on the radio said recently that virtually everyone who voted in the referendum was wrong, as they all voted based on ignorance or lies.

              The analogy given was that when buying a house, you make an offer, arrange the mortgage then employ a surveyor to identify the problems. If you then realise that the problems are not worth your time and hard earned cash to fix, you withdraw the offer. That's what democracy is about - freedom to choose based on the facts rather than rose tinted spectacles.

            2. MJI Silver badge

              Witham

              The only people I know from there run a business which has had to cut back on investment due to the economy slow down.

              I do know they wanted to remain.

          3. ToddRundgrensUtopia

            Re: Starting a sweep-

            "She's the MP for Colchester - I happen to live there. I am so happy I can't be blamed for her."

            No she isn't she is the MP for Colchester. Is your surname Cadwalladr Jemma?

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Starting a sweep-

          give it a couple fo years and comments like that will get you marched off to jail for misogynistic hate crimes - Melanie Onn, Stella Creasy and Mhairi Black have all been pushing for a broadbrush "misogyny hate crime" as recently as 2018

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Starting a sweep-

      Don't worry, you'll get a lot of new cops from the Subcontinent. But you'll be lucky that any surveillance system designed and implemented there has big chances of not working and impossible to fix.

      It would been much more dangerous if left in the hands of those Estonian immigrants...

    3. Nick Kew Silver badge

      Re: Starting a sweep-

      How long until the new Home Secretary turns into Big Brother (Sister)?

      Kind-of brings it home how (relatively) fortunate we were to have Javid in that position. He seemed the least bad for quite a while. Sadly his record in economic positions looks rather more disastrous, with credits for things like helping through the sale of British Steel to Greybull.

      On a more positive note, I *think* The Ego himself at least understands the concept of Free Speech. Blair was of course its sworn enemy, while May and Cameron simply had no clue.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Starting a sweep-

        Javid was beginning to turn - he was steam rolling discredited facial recognition technologies.

      2. 96percentchimp

        Re: Starting a sweep-

        Free Speech, Boris edition: lie as much as you like, refuse to accept any consequences of your lies or even acknowledge them when you're caught with your pants down (as he frequently is). I've yet to work out why Free Speech absolutists consider this to be such a noble virtue.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Starting a sweep-

        Whereas Nicola Sturgeon and her party loathe the concept of free speech and through "equally safe" plan to "shape society" to their puritan sex negative authoritarian viewpoint

        Note when Bojo appeared at Bute House, magically a mob appears.....seems like Yes Scotland(we're really not just an SNP front), whinge over Scotland and the SNP had their mobs mobilised, same faces keep popping up over and over and over again.....wonder why that could be....

        Sturgeon is desperate for Brexit to drag on as it distracts heavily from - NHS waiting lists going into orbit, school attainment dropping like a stone, taxpayers cash being handed over to bus companies to the tune of 8 million for "emissions controls" (that the transport companies should have been paying for out of fares), bus operators gouging passengers, road network in need of serious upgrades, many roads heavily potholed and badly patched, rickety old HS125s brought up at great cost & refurbishments miles behind schedule, electrification of rail non existent north of Edinburgh, LEZs being mandated from this year yet Dundee for example still hasn't had anything beyond preliminary discussions and the zones aren't even remotely set up, councils starved of cash so massive cuts have been needed, NHS boards told to balance budgets in a short period of time caused by you guessed it SNP underfunding, causing massive cuts to services and inflated waiting lists, mental health care a shambles, carseview in Dundee turning into a serious scandal with ministers allowing NHS Tayside early access to the report and editing to make itself look good, while vulnerable patients were left exposed to danger, trauma and abuse by out of control staff and ministers indifferent and bleating "we ordered an inquiry you know" when pursued over why patients weren't transferred to recently mothballed facilities (closed despite being recently built at enormous cost to protect various "empires" at Ninewells in Dundee), facial recognition being pushed through wtth no public consultation or notification

        Sounds more and more like the DDR everyday or the DPRK, just waiting for the notebooks and pencils to appear when the "great leader" speaks, perhaps she could start giving "field guidance" (the snp bot army would lap that up)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Don't diss the HST

          Much better than anything newer!

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Don't diss the HST

            Well would be if they didn't keep breaking down or blowing the engines.,....already been a few cases on the sets brought up.....

  6. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "Morgan has already left her role as chair of the influential Treasury Select Committee."

    He had to promote her out of there. Just imagine the damage someone who asks pointed questions could do in the age of Borinomics.

    1. Tom 7 Silver badge

      They'd be off the TSC before they got to the question mark. "Think positive" is the only though allowed now.

  7. codejunky Silver badge

    However

    Apparently this is a massively right wing party full of lefties! Erm...

    https://continentaltelegraph.com/politics/an-interesting-definition-of-the-hard-right-under-boris/

    Reading that tweet only authoritarians and commies should be allowed

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Everything!

    Will!

    Be!

    Great!

    Says!

    Trump!

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: Everything!

      Advice from someone who doesn't believe in the independence of the central bank and now, apparently, of the courts.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Everything!

        But he does believe in independence of opinion. Today's opinion can be quite independent of yesterday's and tomorrow's can be independent of either.

  9. SVV Silver badge

    Just wait for it......

    "We are pleased to announce that the contract for the Fibre UK Office (abbreviation needed) has been awarded to a marvellous British networking company based in Yorkshire who will make a spiffing digital economy, more splendiferous than any foreign Johnny could manage, etc, ertc..."

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Just wait for it......

      "more splendiferous than any foreign Johnny could manage"

      All non-Yorkshire folk are foreigners.

  10. old_n_grey
    Stop

    Bojo

    Sorry for being a bit po-faced but can we not refer to Johnson as "Bojo". Makes him sound like a loveable clown instead of the self-serving, right-wing, lying (been sacked twice for being a liar -and don't get me started on the £350m per week lie), racist, elitist Old Etonian that he is.

    I'll get off the soapbox now

    1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Re: Bojo

      replace the j with a z then sounds a lot better

      bozo the clown

      even my hard right tory boss hates him

      1. Robert Moore
        Flame

        Re: Bojo

        That is offensive to clowns.

    2. ToddRundgrensUtopia

      Re: Bojo

      Oh go on and get started

  11. Chris G Silver badge

    I have a feeling

    Part of the reason the Blond Buffoon is going for a no deal Brexit is because he has trade deals waiting in the wings.

    I doubt they will be any good for Britain and the British, but there will be profits for his buddies and a gold lined future for him.

    For example the NHS won't need the nonexistent 350 million because it will cease to exist as any kind of recognisable entity once it is sold off.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I have a feeling

      I'm beginning to wonder whether Bozo's secret plan is to take the country to the wire with a no deal Brexit, then at the last minute, following rejection of no deal by Parliament, cancel Brexit completely, on the grounds that everyone is sick of the fiasco.

      1. Tom 7 Silver badge

        Re: I have a feeling

        That would result in £350M a week savings for the NHS as several hundred thousand gammons drop dead simultaneously.

  12. ibmalone Silver badge
    Coat

    "new minister of digital"

    Minister for fingers? Bit frivolous.

    1. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: "new minister of digital"

      I suppose it depends on where the Minister for Fingers, puts them.

      1. Tom 7 Silver badge

        Re: "new minister of digital"

        In the Ministers for Pies presumably.

  13. Mike 16 Silver badge

    Hand knitted code?

    It appears that the PM of a land once famous for its textiles does not know the difference between knitting and weaving.

    That said, he appears to have something in common with chaps who wove the ROM for some early British computers (back when Britain had quite a lead in that area). An analysis of errors in these memories turned up an interesting pattern of error density increasing in the parts made after lunch down at the local. Shortly thereafter this task was designated "Women's Work".

  14. Claverhouse Silver badge
    Meh

    Whatever happened to a terse 'Pleased to be here' ?

    He leapt onto Twitter to tell anyone who would listen that it is "a privilege and honour" to be serving under Johnson, his new boss.

    'course he did...

    .

    Actually I wonder if since say, 1948, anyone outside the House of Commons has ever ritually abased themselves to an employer as fulsomely as prideless MPs...

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Whatever happened to a terse 'Pleased to be here' ?

      Outside the Commons? Oh, definitely. Don't you remember that first Trump cabinet meeting where they went round the table with every appointee praising him and thanking him (start at 11.50)?

      Christ below, that orange fucker was practically glowing from all the orgasmic adventuring in Arselikhan.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    When a political story appears on The Register, the comments section becomes full of raving seemingly uncompromisingly left wing holier than thou commenters, foaming at the mouth with 'look how smart I am' soundbites regurgitated no doubt from their echo chamber news and social media sources.

    It seems every one of those people expect some kind of unicorn politician who aligns to their and theirs alone opinions and ideas of how to run a country. God help them if they went to a private school and actually got a decent education or they happen to be well off or any of the other number of things a politician shouldn't be or do in the anti MP 'rule' book.

    You people who criticise those who run this country wouldn't have a bloody clue where to actually start if given the chance. You'd be worn out and a nervous wreck after day one because you'd have to put up with people like you throwing shit at you just because they can. Instead you throw shit from the sidelines safe in the knowledge that you would never ever stick your head over the parapet and take a public office in your lives.

    Grow up people. You think you have all the answers but you don't. You resort to name calling and insults to make it look like you do. This country would improve so so much if everyone tried constructively to improve it rather than talk it down and belittle anyone who got themselves elected to try and do that. They are people, normal fallible people. Some are good people, some maybe not so, guess what, that's society as a whole represented right there. They got elected to do a job that no one who isn't fearless and thick skinned would take, its a good job someone will! We'd be in the shit if they all just disappeared. You could joke about that and pretend that's not true but you know it is. So deal with it and stop being so childish for the good of yourself and for your country.

    It's a bloody good job I just come here for the IT news...

    1. tfewster Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: I just come here for the IT news

      Thank you so much for staying to read the non-IT stories, and then the comments on them and especially for taking the time to educate us.

      True, I don't want to be a manager or an MP. I don't claim to be infallible, but I can spot a fake when I see one.

      (P.S. I work in IT. I'm used to taking shit from Lusers)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I just come here for the IT news

        I read most of the stories on The Reg. I'm not one of these who get their knickers in a twist when a none IT related story appears in Bootnotes. I've been reading this site almost since it started. My comment above was a dispair at the constant barrage of bullshit I read in the comments. I read them still precisely because I don't believe being stuck in an echo chamber myself and like to have my views challenged. Most of the political arguments in the comments here are rarely reasoned or accurate they are just vitriol and bullshit. I would like to think there are a majority of sound minded readers who just don't comment for fear of the shit being thrown at them.

        By the way, I work in IT too. I take shit from users. The fact you call people who keep you in a job 'Lusers' says a lot about you.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I just come here for the IT news

          "I take shit from users."

          They're called customers. They pay your mortgage.

          If they're giving you shit you can set them straight with facts.

        2. Rich 11 Silver badge

          Re: I just come here for the IT news

          I would like to think there are a majority of sound minded readers who just don't comment for fear of the shit being thrown at them.

          Yet there's nothing to stop them downvoting a comment they disagree with. Do we see a lot of that, do you think?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: I just come here for the IT news

            I do ;)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "...good of yourself and for your country"

      That's the point, it's not really our country - it belongs to the elites who then stir up nationalism to fool the mob that we're "all in it together" (quote Call me Dave).

    3. MJI Silver badge

      I see all sorts

      Not many Corbyn fans but plenty of Centrist remainers. a few Right leavers, a few right remainers and a left remainers.

      I would guess that on the poltical stories TheRegister would return a LD by a small amount.

    4. Rich 11 Silver badge

      You resort to name calling and insults

      Thankfully you fully resisted the temptation to engage in a behaviour which you so despise.

      They are people, normal fallible people.

      A sustained nine years of policies which have predominantly harmed the majority and primarily benefited the already-wealthy minority is not the action of any normal yet fallible person. It's not like they haven't had the consequences of their decisions pointed out to them, which should be enough for a normal person to realise their fallibility and to attempt to correct their mistakes.

      You people who criticise those who run this country wouldn't have a bloody clue where to actually start if given the chance.

      Possibly not, but I'd certainly know what NOT to do. Taking books away from prisoners attempting to educate themselves, for example. Promising aid money to the military of a country behind the PM's back would be another. Introducing trials on voter registration when there's little to no evidence of widespread voter fraud. Reorganising the NHS to little or no functional benefit, at great cost during a time of financial crisis. Creating a culture which demonises jobseekers and the disabled. Slashing Legal Aid so that only people with money in the bank can afford to seek redress under the law. Using public money to bribe 10 MPs to vote for me in Parliament. Reorganising the social safety net in such a way that people have to wait weeks before seeing any payments while simultaneously taking the cost of the greatly-protracted reorganisation's overspend out of the welfare budget. Cutting investment in education, research and business support during a recession. Do I really need to list any more things I definitely wouldn't do?

      1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

        Bravo, Rich 11! The sanctimonious AC raised very similar thoughts in my head. It isn't what MPs do, it is what they don't do that makes them worthy of despite. There probably are some good ones, but those that get cabinet posts are never the good ones. They are ruthless individuals who put themselves first, the Party second, and everything else does not count. There isn't a single Brexiteer MP who actually thinks that leaving the EU is good for the country, for example (or, if there is, they've made a poor job of articulating it).

        I have considered going into politics nany times, but having to be aligned with a Party, and having to parrot a particular line whether I believed it or not just to get selected for a seat isn't me. If there was any real chance of an independent getting in, I'd be standing like a shot. I will not support an inherently broken system of political parties, though.

        1. Rich 11 Silver badge

          If there was any real chance of an independent getting in, I'd be standing like a shot.

          It does seem that independents only stand a chance when they take on a sitting MP who has behaved disgracefully yet somehow is still supported by his local party, and even then the independent candidate needs to already have a public profile and a good reputation locally if not nationally. Martin Bell v Neil Hamilton comes to mind, yet it didn't go anywhere near as well for Esther Rantzen when she stood after the expenses scandal.

  16. MJI Silver badge

    BoJo the Clown thoughts

    This MAY be interesting, a few people I know

    1 - A left leaning person who wants to leave the EU, would never vote conservative, thinks BoJo is wonderful. (were a Blair fan)

    2 - A right leaning person, voted Fartage at the EU elections, thinks BoJo is great.

    3 - A centrist, remainer, thinks BoJo is an idiot. (normally goes LD)

    4 - A soft right pro EU person, has voted for both Thatcher and Major governments, thinks the whole of ERG should be taken out and shot and BoJo used for target practice. (Likes Heseltine and Clarke)

    5 & 6 - A veteran Labour voter, hates Corbyn chose farage party for EU and his wife also with anti Corbyn and anti EU sentiments voted Green (A Brexit fan voted for the chap off Hunted, Hagid Magid I think), not seen since BoJo selected so will ask when back at work.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I see the antidemocratic hate Britain love the EU echochamber

    Is in full fatuous self congratulatory mode today.

    No doubt all the sysadmins here will be pulling the plug on the mainframes to make sure that Brexit is as chaotic as possible come November 1st.

    So they can say 'we told you so'...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I see the antidemocratic hate Britain love the EU echochamber

      I posted the AC rant above. Nice to see someone is in agreement. Its just incessant in these forums seemingly by people with the life experience of a mayfly.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I see the antidemocratic hate Britain love the EU echochamber

        In your "humble" opinion.

        Democratic does not equal dogmatic.

        People are allowed to change their minds. If you were really interested in democracy, you'd be happy for another referendum as it would confirm the result of the first one.

        Or maybe you're the antidemocratic one.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I see the antidemocratic hate Britain love the EU echochamber

        So you're just trolling for "points"?!?

        And a nicely spun fallacy there - anyone who disagrees with you deserves an insult.

        Respect. /sarcasm off.

  18. Teiwaz Silver badge

    I see the antidemocratic hate Britain love the EU echochamber

    Is in full fatuous self congratulatory mode today.

    No doubt all the sysadmins here will be pulling the plug on the mainframes to make sure that Brexit is as chaotic as possible come November 1st.

    @ relevant A/c

    You really aren't a good judge of people, any El reggers that are sysadmins I have little doubt are much much too professional for such shenanigans

    There really is no need for any sort of skuttling of the fleet when the new captains of the country are letting the country sink in aid of some form of barrotery.

  19. NeilPost Bronze badge

    Nicky Morgan -Brexit Collaborator

    Nicky Morgan should hang her fucking head in shame. She has no principles and has been bought off with a Ministerial Job.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nicky Morgan -Brexit Collaborator

      And Liz Truss seems to be going hell for leather to become the new Louise Mensch.

      Uggg - what a thought!

      This is the damage she was causing 3 years ago.

      At least LM had the decency to emigrate.

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