back to article It's so hot, UK needs to start naming heatwaves like we do when it's a bit windy – climate boffins

The mercury is rising, expected to hit a sizzling 32°C (89.6°F) this afternoon at Vulture Central, and The Register's elite unit of pasty basement-dwellers, otherwise known as editorial, have scurried into the office to make the most of its semi-functioning air conditioning. Yes, Heatwave Clive is here. Or it would be, if the …

  1. alain williams Silver badge

    Forgot the obvious names ...

    Reddy Mc Red Face & cousins.

  2. Steve K Silver badge

    Boris, surely?

    Boris, surely?

    1. MrKrotos

      Re: Boris, surely?

      Boiling Borris?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Boris, surely?

        A dream!

    2. macjules Silver badge

      Re: Boris, surely?

      Yes.

      Boris: hot, windy air. Beware.

      Gove: Just hot air, no substance whatsoever

      Jacob: Blustery, lacks direction and blows whichever way it feels.

      Theresa: Lots of wind. Water may be included.

      Jeremy: Most cold air with occasional damp patches. Ineffectual.

    3. BebopWeBop Silver badge

      Re: Boris, surely?

      Johnson pleeeese

    4. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

      Re: Boris, surely?

      Barmy Boris, not Balmy.

  3. aregross
    Meh

    Heaty McHeatwave?

  4. Korev Silver badge
    Joke

    Sunshine Shelia?

    1. Spoonsinger
      Windows

      She's a bit of a scorcher.,,,

      (no Sid James icon so just have to live with this)

      1. IceC0ld Silver badge

        Re: She's a bit of a scorcher.,,,

        moist Mavis does it for me

    2. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Smouldering Samantha

  5. Graham Jordan

    Your wife is hot

    I live near that poster, never before in my life have I ever been so tempted to buy aircon.

    Interesting fact, the poster previous to that happened to be a bunch of naked old people with their arses out for Calendar Girls.

    1. Moosh

      Re: Your wife is hot

      Never understood the hate for these ads - even the beach body ready one isn't at all bad. You should see the women they have on these pretty little thing posters plastered all over the tube - honestly the most accurate way to describe them would be the scientific term "thots". Absolute plastic bombshells with impossible proportions in incredibly skimpy clothing - yet apparently these adverts are fine because they have an instagram filter and are advertised towards women. There's lingerie ads around too. Why limit it to public advertising? Is it sexist for Ann Summers to display attractive, nubile women on their shop windows, wearing their latest lingerie? Is it considered too scandalous for incredibly slim mannequins in independent sex shops to be thrust in the store window wearing crotch-less thongs and cup-less bras?

      I know this would fall on deaf ears though, considering we've already banned a wide array of fetish pornography as relatively innocuous as facesitting from being produced in the UK, and are about to enforce content controls you have to actively opt out of.

      Sort of ironic as our international stereotype appears to be either a cockney, a landed gentleman, or an absolutely perverse degenerate .

  6. Spacedinvader
    Pint

    Roasting Rodger

    Fnarr!

    Tip for staying cool --->

    1. Roger Greenwood

      Re: Roasting Rodger

      Thank you (though no 'd')

      1. Nick Kew Silver badge
        Coat

        Roger that

        Doesn't the D serve to emphasise the rhyme with todger?

    2. big_D Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Roasting Rodger

      I went for Balmy Basil, because it will only be high 30s and, well, Basil was always balmy, just don't mention the war!

      Meins a nice cold Dunkel Weißen.

  7. Thoguht Silver badge
    Flame

    I think we should call this one Cabinet Conflagrator as it's taken out my FTTC cabinet.

  8. Empire of the Pussycat

    what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

    Quentin

    Ulysses

    Xavier

    Yootha

    Zachary

    Does this mean our boffins have been got at with IPCRESS? or simply lost the will to live in the DUD era?

    1. Kubla Cant Silver badge

      Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

      Yootha? Is that a name?

      Yvonne and Yvette are a bit more mainstream.

      1. Steve K Silver badge

        Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

        Yootha Joyce was Mildred in "George and Mildred"

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yootha_Joyce

      2. VonDutch

        Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

        Anything is a name if you're the offspring of a celebrity

        1. Tigra 07 Silver badge

          Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

          *Cough* Moon Unit Zappa *Cough*

          1. VonDutch

            Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

            Funnily enough that and Fifi Trixibelle both came to mind as I was posting.

        2. hekla
          Pint

          Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

          Q - Quarto Queniva Quentin Quieton Quintana Quintius Quirinus Quiteria

          U - Uriel Uga Ulbert Ulfkell Ulrich Unica Uno Urban Urgellesa Uriah Urith Urraca Ursa Ursilda Urso

          X - Xena (warrior princess)

          Y - Yael Yolanda Ysoria

          Z - Zacharia Zawissius Zbincza Zbygniew Zdeslava Zenobia Zoete Zwentibold

          1. Tigra 07 Silver badge
            Devil

            Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

            What about Xenu? It was a good enough name for the galactic warlord of our "special" friends at Scientology...

          2. OssianScotland Bronze badge

            Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

            I think you have pre-empted Jacob Rees Moggs' next few offspring

      3. This post has been deleted by its author

      4. big_D Silver badge

        Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

        Yes, and the current high pressure front coming up through Europe, bringing the Sahara heat with it, is called Yvonne, which left my daughter being blamed by her colleagues for the current unpleasantly hot weather (we had 37°C yesterday and tomorrow should crack the 40°C mark).

      5. Fungus Bob Silver badge

        Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

        Yoda

        1. Ochib

          Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

          "Yoda"

          This isn't the heatware you are looking for

          1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

            Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

            No, that would be Obi Wan.

            This is more like "Stew or stew not, there is no fry"

    2. big_D Silver badge

      Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

      The current high pressure front coming up through Europe is already called Yvonne.

    3. Nick Kew Silver badge

      Re: what's so difficult about Q, U, X, Y and Z?

      I was going to say something like that. Of your names, Quentin and Xavier were also on the list that popped into my head within about five seconds of reading that in the article. But you missed someone who had fame thrust upon her just a few weeks ago ... (OK, she's foreign, but shares a name with a 'merkin SF author and the wife of the most English of composers).

      Anyway, what heatwave? It's a comfy 21-ish and light cloud around here. Yesterday was hotter - mid-20s - but a comfortable dry heat for most of the day. Heatwave "damp squib"?

  9. Kubla Cant Silver badge

    Names

    Ali, Bronagh, Callum, Deirdre, Erik, Freya, Gareth, Hannah, Idris, Jane, Kevin, Lily, Max, Niamh, Oliver, Peggy, Ross, Saoirse, Tristan, Violet and Wyn

    An odd list of names. It seems to have been chosen with the laudable intention of including non-English names, but the choices are sometimes puzzling.

    - Why the Nordic spelling for Eric? (Freya too, actually - the English goddess is Frige - but that ship has probably sailed.)

    - Why include names that some people may not know how to pronounce? No disrespect to people called Saoirse, but I bet you often have to correct people.

    - Why are Max and Peggy known by their diminutives?

    Q, U, X, Y and Z have proved a bit tricky, hence their omission.

    Only tricky for anybody who can't open one of the innumerable Baby Name books or web sites.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Names

      No disrespect to people called Saoirse, but I bet you often have to correct people.

      pronounced Sue...

      or possibly sore-arse?

      1. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Re: Names

        No disrespect to people called Saoirse, but I bet you often have to correct people.

        pronounced Sue...

        or possibly sore-arse?

        'Sorsha' is close enough to pass - always makes me think of Brigette Nielson in Red Sonja...

        1. TeeCee Gold badge
          Flame

          Re: Names

          Joanne Whalley in "Willow"...seeing as we're on the subject of things that are incredibly hot.

      2. BitCoward

        Re: Names

        "No disrespect to people called Saoirse, but I bet you often have to correct people."

        It's pronounced Shu-vawn

        1. RuffianXion

          Re: Names

          That's 'Siobhan'.

          1. BitCoward
            Facepalm

            Re: Names

            it's too hot to explain jokes

    2. Wandering Reader

      Re: Names

      "An odd list of names. It seems to have been chosen with the laudable intention of including non-English names, but the choices are sometimes puzzling."

      It's a combined list from the UK and Irish Met Offices, since we tend to share the same weather.

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

    4. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Names

      I think the Irish Met Office get first dibs at naming, given that the storms usually hit them first.

      Last night's spell of illuminations should have had a name of its own.

      1. Nick Kew Silver badge

        Re: Names

        Last night's spell of illuminations should have had a name of its own.

        Delightningful?

        Had me turning various electricals off and checking none of the windows was too wide open.

      2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

        Re: Names

        I think the Irish Met Office get first dibs at naming, given that the storms usually hit them first.

        I thought they took turns each year.

    5. Fungus Bob Silver badge

      Re: Names

      "An odd list of names. It seems to have been chosen with the laudable intention of including non-English names, but the choices are sometimes puzzling."

      This way you can blame foreigners.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Shameless plug.

    Time for some shameless promotion of my own video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvSwr5G8O2o

    That's my solution for the heat. It works really well. Because British homes are built to keep heat in, not let it out, they tend to be very poorly ventilated and easily heat up well above the outside temperature. A fan, some ducting, and you can duck in nice cold (relatively) outside air, which is a lot more effective than a standard room fan that just circulates the warm air around. It's not as cooling as true air conditioning, of course, but it's still a lot better than a plain old fan.

    1. big_D Silver badge

      Re: Shameless plug.

      We have the windows open over night and until about 7 or 8 in the morning, when it starts getting too hot, then we close all the windows upstairs and roll down the shutters. We added new insulation to the roof a couple of years back.

      We had temperatures of over 37°C yesterday, during the day, but the bedroom remained in the mid-20s.

      Downstairs is a bit more difficult, but we still managed to keep the temperature under 28°C during the day, with the shutters down on the sun-ward side.

      1. really_adf

        Re: Shameless plug.

        Downstairs is a bit more difficult

        Huh?

        1. big_D Silver badge

          Re: Shameless plug.

          Well, you are downstairs during the day and you don't want it to be pitch black all day long...

          So we only lower the shutters on the sunny side, and then not all the way.

    2. LeahroyNake Bronze badge

      Re: Shameless plug.

      I depends how old and or well built the house is.

      For those that do not live in the UK we usually build houses with breeze blocks and brick rather than wood.

      If you have a very substantial brick house it will take quite a while to heat up all that mass so for brief hot patches (in winter they also take much longer to cool down) it stays relatively cool. Keep sun facing curtains closed, ensure your loft insulation and ventilation is good and for heavens sake close the curtains when it gets dark. Moths are a pain in the arse when they decide your light bulb is the moon.

      I also find a cold shower before bed is enough to lower my temperature enough that I can go straight to sleep without having the 'shits on the floor' when it's 100 degrees.

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rClUOdS5Zyw

    3. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

      Re: Shameless plug.

      Unusually warm in West Wales (currently 29.9 in the shade outside).

      But the traditional Welsh cottage helps here. Stone walls 50cm thick, small windows and (a modern innovation) a very well insulated roof, make it quite bearable. Downstairs is currently 20.5, bit more upstairs.

  11. SVV Silver badge

    Heatwave Martha

    After Martha & the Vandellas - Heatwave

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE2fnYpwrng

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    One of the BBC's suggestions... put your socks in the freezer then wear to bed! Erm, the cold socks will last 10s then the socks will start to do what they are meant to do and keep your feet toasty

    Today I are be mostly listening to 'Summer In The City'... (yes, it has been randomly selected from a couple of hundred tunes 3 times in the last week)

    1. VonDutch

      You didn't say take the socks back out of the freezer before wearing...

      1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
        Boffin

        Yes but sleeping in the freezer will probably generate its own issues after a short while...

        1. VonDutch

          I wouldn't mind not having to buy shoes or socks again, but it would be a shame to be two feet shorter

    2. Jellied Eel Silver badge

      The BBC has a habit of providing useful advice. During heavy snow in the US a while back, one of it's suggestions was to use a dog to show the depth.

      It could have used more information, like the correct way to use the dog-gauge. Should we tie a rope to it, and drop it out of a window before venturing outside? Seems a bit harsh. Or should there be a formalised dog-scale with handy breed-depth conversions. Obviously 'It's up to his hips' would have different implications depending on whether your dog was a Great Dane or a Dachshund, both for the dog, and their owner.

  13. Jellied Eel Silver badge

    Not the LSE

    Yes, Heatwave Clive is here. Or it would be, if the London School of Economics has anything to say about it.

    The Times – opting for the marginally more exciting "Alan" – reports that the university's Grantham Research Institute

    The 'Grantham Research Institute' is a PR/lobbying outfit that rents space at the LSE and is bankrolled by Jeremy Grantham, aka 'the Bubble King'. He made a lot of money spotting bubbles, and currently 'green' spending like renewables is a very hot one. Hence why the GRI spends a lot of time issuing press releases saying we really need to spend even more money on renewables. It's also home to a chap called 'Bob Ward', who spends a fair bit of time complaining to editors and the PCC about the 'accuracy' of sceptical news articles, and generally loses. The sadly departed Booker was a frequent target.

    But why not name warm spells as 'Summer'? Naming them is a bit pointless, but then there's pressure to keep 'global warming' in the news.. And the BBC does a remarkable job of doing just that. So expect headlines of 'hottest evah!'.. Which may well end up being Heathrow again because there are no UHI effects from airports.

    Bigger challenge is managing energy, as NY discovered with it's recent blackouts. Increased demand, reduced supply, and why anyone's suprised is a mystery. So is our energy policy in general. So solar's currently doing nicely, but being a hot, calm summer's day, wind.. is not-

    http://gridwatch.co.uk/Wind

    So if summer is the new norm, we decarbonise our economy, have a million EVs and more air conditioning... Where does the electricity come from? Intermittent generators like windmills were never the answer.

    1. ivan5

      Re: Not the LSE

      It would also help if they learned a little history. They would then see that it has been hotter in the past - whoops, I forgot they are editing pat high temps out of the record.

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge
        1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

          Re: Not the LSE

          Obligatory XKCD

          That's Mike's 'Nature Trick', aka the hokey stick illusion*. So problem with that is it takes a pinch of ice cores, a hint of isotope proxies, a few slices of tree rings and a sprinkling of modern instrumentation data. Which is just one of the challenges with trying to make long-range hindcasts and claim "Scorchio!". Further back you go, the less reliable the records are, and just throwing data together isn't exactly science (other than climate 'science'). It's one of those aspects the mainstream media's 'fact checkers' gloss over. So nice example is the Vostok ice core series. 180,000yrs of climate! Cool! Except it's a record from a single location & from memory, that 180ka is compressed into something like 30 slices.. So not exactly high resolution.

          *On which point, the anniversary of 'Climategate' is fast approaching. So the BBC interviewed a couple of the people involved, who as usual, said nasty sceptics cherrypicked data and took stuff out of context. The BBC did nothing to provide context, namely tree ring proxies showed a decline, so instrument records were spliced on to hide the decline, making a synthetic/composite hockey stick. Next up, the BBC will be interviewing Eppstein who'll say evidence against him was also taken out of context..

          1. Dan 55 Silver badge

            Re: Not the LSE

            I think if I had to choose between the scientific consensus shared by about 99% of the scientific community and two paragraphs of whataboutery, I think I'll stick with the former.

            1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

              Re: Not the LSE

              I think if I had to choose between the scientific consensus shared by about 99% of the scientific community and two paragraphs of whataboutery, I think I'll stick with the former.

              Obligatory Einstein Quote- “Why 100? If I were wrong, one would have been enough. [In response to the book "Hundred Authors Against Einstein"]”

              And it's not 99%, it's 97%. And that famous 97% was originally the result of a poll, so 77 out of 79 gave the right answer, and voila, 97% was spawned. Ok, so that lead Cook et al to get his mates to run a wider literature search (abstracts only), rate those based on their belief and publish more papers confirming observer bias.

              Of course if you have a source for your 99% claim, feel free to cite it. If not, there's still some interesting science happening, even if 99% of scientists think it's all settled. One of my favorites being this-

              https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/nasa-pinpoints-cause-of-earth-s-recent-record-carbon-dioxide-spike

              Because initial OCO-2 results showed highest CO2 concentrations in the Southern Hemisphere. Initial attempts to link that to anthropogenic activity blamed it on burning.. But nature produces waaaaay more CO2 than humans. I guess Greta should be telling us to concrete over the rainforests so stuff doesn't grow, die, decay and we disrupt that carbon cycle..

              1. T. F. M. Reader Silver badge

                Re: Not the LSE

                Any "X% agree that..." statement used to settle an argument is political, not scientific. Science simply does not operate this way. On the other hand, this is the very basis of (democratic) political process...

                1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

                  Re: Not the LSE

                  Any "X% agree that..." statement used to settle an argument is political, not scientific. Science simply does not operate this way. On the other hand, this is the very basis of (democratic) political process...

                  It could be scientific, ie a well conducted survey could come up with a statistically significant 97%. Problem is although the origins came from peer-reviewed publications, the studies were.. flawed. Ok, that's science. Publish and be damned, yet in this case, critics were attacked. Normally there could be an errata, or the paper withdrawn, or a revised paper submitted.. That's the way science should operate.

                  I also remember a paper about warming on the WAIS* getting the cover of Nature. Yet the warming (and extent) was a processing artifact due to errors in the methodology. A paper explaining & demonstrating this was submitted, and held up in peer review.. Where the lead author discovered that one of the reviewers was the original critiqued paper's lead author. That should be an obvious conflict of interest, yet there was much outcry from certain sections of the climate 'science' community about publishing the reviewer's comments.

                  Which is why the antics of some climate scientists reflect badly on science in general, and reduced trust in scientists to present the facts. We're used to politicians and lobbyists lieing, but should be able to trust the scientific method.

                  WAIS= West Antarctic Ice Shelf.

                2. Paul Kinsler

                  Re: "Science simply does not operate this way"

                  I offer these two versions of a summary; you may wish to pay particular attention to the section "A peculiar kind of science" in the first:

                  https://physicstoday.scitation.org/doi/full/10.1063/PT.3.2914

                  https://history.aip.org/history/climate/impacts.htm

            2. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
              Boffin

              Re: Not the LSE

              If anyone says "scientists agree...", check your wallet because they're almost certainly trying to scam you.

              Scientists never agree. At best they'll claim that other scientists' opinions are "interesting".

      2. Jellied Eel Silver badge

        Re: Not the LSE

        It would also help if they learned a little history. They would then see that it has been hotter in the past - whoops, I forgot they are editing pat high temps out of the record.

        History is written by the victors. Possibly with the help of 16yr old savants. Oh, irony vs 'scientific facts'. See also-

        https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-49092653

        "And just for quoting or acting on these numbers, these scientific facts, we receive unimaginable amounts of hate and threats. We are being mocked and lied about by members of parliament and journalists," she added.

        and the lede-

        Teen activist Greta Thunberg has lashed out at French lawmakers for mocking her in a speech to parliament that was boycotted by far-right politicians.

        At least the BBC didn't double down and say 'far-right deniers'. But such is politics. Data is a hot topic though, ie apparent 'adjusting' of data that generally results in reducing past temperatures, which obviously results in exagerated trends. Which is the general problem with cAGW dogma, namely unless those trends are high, you simply can't get to any climate emergency because there isn't enough CO2 based on sensitivity & assumptions. Those are 'scientific facts'.

        UHI is more interesting for it's potential effects on data. Assuming thermometers are accurate (usually they are), the data are accurate. Causation is more easily disputed, ie stuff like airport growth leading to a higher UHI element. One certain scientific fact is you should never 'adjust' the underlying data. That got drummed into me in my 1st year of Uni, ie never 'correct' my data in my logbook, but add a note to explain why I thought the data may be wrong.

        I think it's also debateable whether fixating on maximum temperatures is the right approach. So dogma* states CO2 absorbs and re-radiates energy leading to 'trapped' heat and the 'greenhouse effect'. So rather than looking at Tmax, it may be better to look at trends in Tmin. In the absence of incoming energy (ie solar insolation), Tmin may be a better variable given it may show the effect, ie night time cooling being 'trapped', and thus rising.

        *Ok, bit unfair calling that dogma given CO2's a simple and well understood molecule. So 4 main absorption/emission points, 3 of which overlap with H2O which has a far more dominant effect.. Mainly because the remaining atmospheric window is so narrow. Which is why estimates for CO2 sensitivity have been reducing with each iteration of the IPCC. Which is probably why the 'Green Blob' is lobbying so heavily for immediate action (BBC now saying we've only got 18 months to save teh planet!) and force more spending on junk like 'renewables'.

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge

          Re: Not the LSE

          'No doubt left' about scientific consensus on global warming, say experts

          Extensive historical data shows recent extreme warming is unprecedented in past 2,000 years

          The scientific consensus that humans are causing global warming is likely to have passed 99%, according to the lead author of the most authoritative study on the subject, and could rise further after separate research that clears up some of the remaining doubts.

          1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

            Re: Not the LSE

            Extensive historical data shows recent extreme warming is unprecedented in past 2,000 years

            Maybe. But if you cast your eyes over Neukom et al, you'll see one of the problems with this kind of historical denial. Namely the sparsity, resolution and general noisyness of the data. So-

            It is only if the reconstructed time series are smoothed over multidecadal timescales (seeMethods), and if global area is shown in aggregate, that the classical picture of a loosely defined LIA and MCA appears

            Climate= 30yr averaged (and smoothed) weather. Even the modern temperature record suffers from similar problems because there simply aren't enough (or reliable enough) thermometers around the world to state with high empirical confidence (See Shannon, Nyquist etc for more info) that we're warming. Data are kridged, infilled and 'adjusted' from other data sometimes thousands of kilometers away. That's just the way it goes. Satellites can provide better coverage, but obviously aren't a lot of help over long time scales.

            More interesting again is your '99%' claim, because that has nothing to do with the 3 new papers in the article-

            But among academics who study the climate, the convergence of opinion is probably strengthening, according to John Cook, the lead author of 'Sceptical Science', a totally unbiased blog promoting John Cook.. Who isn't a climate scientist, but does have some heavily cited papers regarding his 97/99% claims.. many of which are criticising those papers. Richard Tol's are quite scathing..

            (Earn bonus thumbs down if you do some digging around Pages2K and Gergis.. And the retractions that followed.)

          2. jake Silver badge

            Re: Not the LSE

            The problem I have with the current consensus is that they are telling me, not showing me. And they are using skewed and massaged data to back up what they are claiming. This is NOT how I was taught to do science.

            1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

              Re: Not the LSE

              The problem I have with the current consensus is that they are telling me, not showing me.

              In theory, they are.. So the Grauniad cited the papers in question & even has a deal with Nature so we, the great unwashed can read it, and try to make sense of it.. Which in this case needs some fairly hefty data analysis understanding, along with what the data are meant to represent. And ideally some of the history.

              Past warming (and cooling) events have always been problematic, both in the scientific & political sense. The original Hockey Stick showed an MWP, but was restricted in scope to the northern hemisphere, because that's where Mann et al found their wood. Since then, there have been a LOT of peer-reviewed papers attempting to quantify magnitude and extent for past warming and cooling events.. Which should be 'normal' science. Peer-review can't catch everything, publication can & does, eg-

              https://retractionwatch.com/2012/10/18/updates-journal-of-climate-adds-info-about-withdrawn-hot-temps-paper-chemistry-journal-corrects-retraction-notice/

              Which has some of the same authors and sources as the 3 'new' ones in the Grauniad. But then there's this-

              https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0031018219303190#!

              Abstract

              The Medieval Climate Anomaly (MCA) is a well-recognized climate perturbation in many parts of the world, with a core period of 1000–1200 CE. Here we are mapping the MCA across the Antarctic region based on the analysis of published palaeotemperature proxy data from 60 sites.

              Which was also part of a series of peer-reviewed papers looking at this issue in the SH, but drawing different conclusions, despite some overlap in the data sources. A truly sceptical scientist, especially any working in this field should be asking themselves the same question.. But climate 'science' has ended up heavily politicised & polarised, in part thanks to the efforts of non-climate 'scientists' like John Cook. Or produces statements like this-

              "This paper should finally stop climate change deniers claiming that the recent observed coherent global warming is part of a natural climate cycle," said Prof Mark Maslin, from University College London,

              I'm sure the good Prof. Maslin's found time in his busy schedule to conduct his own thorough review of these paper's data & methodology.. And not just throw out insults like 'deniers' because the results match his own beliefs. And he is a busy man. As well as his UCL work, he's also CSO for Rezatec Ltd, Global Cool Foundation and the Sopria-Steria Group and been PI or Co-I on grants worth over £45 million (including 27 NERC, 2 EPSRC, 2 DIFD, 2 Carbon Trust, 2 ESA, 3 Technology Strategy Board, Royal Society and DECC). And older bios show he's also been involved in some carbon trading ventures.

              Who says there's no money in academia? But I seem to have sucessfully predicted the location for this year's 'hottest evah!' result, so if there's a prize, can this heatwave be named 'Greta'?

              If anyone's interested in a more technical discussion around some of the Pages2k/proxies in general, I recommend this-

              https://climateaudit.org/2019/02/01/pages2k-2017-antarctic-proxies/

    2. Dave Pickles

      Re: Not the LSE

      The French have shut down a couple of their nuclear power stations which were getting a bit toasty in their water intake departments, so we're burning gas to make up their shortfall.

      1. ThatOne Silver badge
        Flame

        Re: Not the LSE

        It's the cooling water return actually - Given the high water temperature, it would lead to make rivers and lakes used as cooling reservoirs too hot and kill all life in there.

    3. PapaD

      Re: Not the LSE

      I have the pleasure of both Air-conditioning and Solar panels in my house.

      Fortunately, at the time i most need one, the other tends to be generating quite a bit more energy than the other needs.

      It's a wonderful combination.

  14. Precordial thump

    HTFU

    Ours are called February and March.

  15. Chris G Silver badge

    32°?

    It's a balmy 36° here, reason it's so cool is the hazy sky and breeze today.

    We had 42° for a couple of days last week so I increased the refrigerator cider load, I find a couple of large very cold ciders produce a ' Don't care how hot it is, I think I'll have another.' attitude.

    1. John 104

      Re: 32°?

      Ah, so true.

      How is it so difficult to close up your home, drink extra fluids, and take it easy when it is hot? Oh, and 30 isn't hot; its warm. You people....

      1. ThatOne Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: 32°?

        > Oh, and 30 isn't hot; its warm.

        Warm? It's below the freezing point of water for crying out loud!

  16. big_D Silver badge

    Don't we have this already?

    The high-pressure and low-pressure areas are already named.

    The one currently flowing through Europe, bringing the Sahara heat with it, is Yvonne, for example.

    That should cause a new record, here in West Germany, with over 40,5°C tomorrow, we had around 38°C yesterday and it feels warmer at the moment, so it could well exceed 40°C here.

    1. Nick Kew Silver badge

      Re: Don't we have this already?

      Is that a record locally or nationally?

      I'd find the latter surprising. OK, you're not mediterranean, but you are continental, and don't expect the same narrow range between summer and winter as our island climate.

      1. big_D Silver badge

        Re: Don't we have this already?

        That is at least for west Germany. I know Bavaria has had around the 40 degrees mark a few times. My balcony thermometer went up to 35 once, but I think the official temperature was 40.5

        Winter is down to - 12 or so, here in the north, when I was down in Bavaria, we had one day of below - 30. In the summer it would get up to around 40 degrees in extreme summers, but usually mid 30s.

        That's all in Celsius.

        So we have an average range of over 40 degrees, between a normal winter and summer, in the extreme years, it is between 70 and 80 degrees difference between summer and winter.

      2. big_D Silver badge

        Re: Don't we have this already?

        The news said it was a national record, 40.2 degrees Celsius.

        Tomorrow could exceed 41 degrees. Local temperatures have exceeded 40.2 degrees in parts of Germany, but not the official recording stations.

        1. Ghostman

          Re: Don't we have this already?

          My little conversion table tells me that is about 106 F. Late July to early August in mid Georgia, USA. we seem to get a few of those days, with high humidity.

          1. big_D Silver badge

            Re: Don't we have this already?

            Until recently, temperatures above the low 30s (low to mid 90s) were very unusual in Germany, they were the exception, rather than the rule. Over the last decade we've had temperatures in the high 30s most years.

        2. big_D Silver badge

          Re: Don't we have this already?

          Just for the record, Wednesday was a new record with 40.5°C, Thursday broke that with 41.6°C in Lingen - that is officially recorded temperatures, recorded in the shade.

          On the way home last night, I registered 44°C, about 40KM from Lingen.

          1. big_D Silver badge

            Re: Don't we have this already?

            Fat fingers and not enough coffee yesterday, 42.6°C, although there was some controversy. The National Weather Centre didn't want to accept the value, as they though the weather station wasn't correctly located, but after some back and forth, the record was eventually confirmed.

  17. JLV Silver badge

    Anyone else think the wife ad guy really hit the jackpot on his campaign? Love the hot hubby comeback.

    https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/there-is-no-such-thing-as-bad-publicity.html

    1. Down not across Silver badge

      What I despair at is just to over the top political correctness and the complaints quoted in that BBC article. It appears that you just can't have any fun whatsoever. I will just have to be offended by all those people being offended at mild lighthearted fun.

      Agreed, the hot hubby comeback was brilliant.

      1. phuzz Silver badge

        The journalists know that if they print someone's idiotic opinion, they'll get read, so they pick the most ridiculous opinions possible. I'm not going to say they make any up, but I'm sure there's temptation to edit them into the most extreme possible interpretation.

        "Political correctness gone mad" is favourite of the tabloids, and even the beeb do it now.

  18. Spanners Silver badge
    Happy

    Cold Snaps too.

    When we had the "beast from the east" I wanted to call it Pyotr. The "minibeast from the east" was a woodlouse called Vladimir.

    1. Nick Kew Silver badge

      Re: Cold Snaps too.

      Cold snap? I'd've thought Ymir seems an obvious first candidate. Are your suggestions from a Russian/Slavic tradition?

  19. colinb

    IT Angle

    Had a A/C unit delivered yesterday, an iGenix.

    Comes with WIFI connectivity and an App, also links to Alexa.

    I've linked the App and its cool to control from my phone, although its actually easier to just use the front panel.

    Looking forward to the patch your iGenix now article from el Reg, although it gives no clue how to do that.

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: IT Angle

      I think on installation, I would make sure not to connect it to WiFi, the app, or Alexa. I also wouldn't have an Echo. I've got enough computers, phones, and routers to babysit without the threat of my air conditioning packing up on me too either by accident or malice.

  20. Tromos

    Happy with the current poll leader, but only if delivered in 'Life of Brian' mode:

    Woasting Wodger

  21. jake Silver badge

    On the bright side ...

    ... what with the global warming, you Brits will be able to grow enough food to properly feed yourselves without going bankrupt on imports once Brexit is in the books. Not that you'll know what to do with the bounty, of course ... All y'all had best learn to cook, pronto.

    Supposed to be 94F/34C here in Sonoma today. 98F/36C by Saturday. Cry me a river.

    1. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: On the bright side ...

      When the UK originally got tied into the CAP in the days of European butter mountains and the like, the UK agricultural system could produce a 40% surplus to domestic requirements.

      Now BoJo is in and likely to succumb to a trans Atlantic trade deal it will probably never have the chance to get back to that, but the possibility is there.

      1. big_D Silver badge

        Re: On the bright side ...

        But farming is not a tech startup, so it isn't sexy!

        Give it 6 months and BoJo will say, "let them eat cake"*

        * Probably imported Cinabons.

    2. Jellied Eel Silver badge

      Re: On the bright side ...

      Supposed to be 94F/34C here in Sonoma today. 98F/36C by Saturday. Cry me a river.

      1) We're British. Weather, and grumbling about our weather is what we do.

      2) We may beat those numbers. In UHI locations, but hey, we're beating California!

      3) Do you still have rivers? I thought California's agricultural policy of exporting it's water as fruit & nuts* was getting rid of those.

      4) The LA river. Nice film location, lousy river.

      *Of course I'm referring to it's products, not it's politicians..

  22. Sam Haine

    Bedwetting Basil?

    I think that the powers that be want to give storms and heatwaves names in order to make them seem more severe and so draw our attention away from how crap our infrastructure is when it can't cope with them.

  23. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    California dress code

    Nobody in Silicon Valley is complaining about 30C weather. T-shirts in the office, bicycle to work, and walking out to lunch. Neckties are only seen on TV. Can walk the dog at night without a change of clothing.

    1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
      Flame

      Re: California dress code

      Lucky you,

      It was a mere 26C by the sea (note the word sea) however , because of the nature of the coast here theres an awful lot of very shallow water trending to hot mud(depending on the tide) which results in mucho humidity.

      Stir in hot machine tools, and protective overalls/steel boots and you have the perfect rescipe for the staff being as badly behaved as possible so that they can then have a strip torn off them by the boss in his nice air conditioned office....

      Then he went to lunch/meeting with customer with the result we all sat in his office for the rest of the day while watching for the alarm lights through the office window....

  24. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    "Bottom Boiling Bertha" for the win I think.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As a currently visiting antipodean....

    Might I suggest that the low to high 30's is warm and not hot?

    Hot is 40+.

    Mind you in balmy Britain you don't cater very well for the finer weather.

    Few people have AC, almost no one has fly screens, many sleep upstairs in the hottest part of the house and there is a lack of ceiling fans.

    Anyway, back to the cold beer.

    1. codejunky Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: As a currently visiting antipodean....

      @AC

      "Mind you in balmy Britain you don't cater very well for the finer weather."

      We dont cater for the opposite either. We get a few flakes of snow and the world stops for us. We dont get enough warm or snowy weather to make the investment worth it so instead we all have umbrellas

    2. Nick Kew Silver badge

      Re: As a currently visiting antipodean....

      Speaking as a Brit who has lived several years in much hotter climes ...

      Hot - including Too Hot - here starts at mid-20s. The fact that's not at all hot to an Aussie is irrelevant: your whole environment is much better-suited to heat, and it feels natural there. I don't know why, but 25 in Blighty feels like 40 in Oz[1] or the Med[2].

      Note - Brits complaining of cold can be even more unedifying. We don't get real cold here, any more than real heat.

      [1] Based on a couple of weeks hols, when the only thing I really needed that I don't in Blighty was sunglasses.

      [2] Based on several years in central Italy - yes I do have real experience of hot summers. Needed sunglasses there too.

  26. JulieM Silver badge
    Happy

    A Touch of British Whimsy

    There is a delightful touch of something warm and whimsical about giving the weather human names.

    Especially when they get downgraded -- as they invariably have by the time they reach Blighty -- to the likes of Light Breeze Hannah or Better Put a Coat On Idris .....

    1. Nick Kew Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: A Touch of British Whimsy

      Can those who make a big deal of it look forward to Mild Reprimand Julie?

      (What heatwave? Hasn't been above mid-20s here).

  27. JLV Silver badge

    Names:

    Doubting Donald.

  28. Aquatyger

    Fine weather

    It sounds as thought the weather in the UK is starting to become a bit more pleasant. It might be worth a visit.

  29. The Central Scrutinizer

    The mercury is rising, expected to hit a sizzling 32°.

    That's just an average Summer day here. Back in January we had a day of 41,followed by a day of 45.

    Now that was scorching. Walking outside was literally breathtaking.

  30. Jimboom

    Betty Swollocks?

  31. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    I got back home from a long day driving between sites in a mobile oven, to find the local sAad fridges had all given up the ghost, and they wouldn't sell me any refrigerated liquids. I had to buy four squeegy bottles of IrnBru and wop in the freezer at home, and I'm rationing my last drops of milk suffering tea withdrawals.

  32. gnarlymarley Bronze badge

    The mercury is rising, expected to hit a sizzling 32°C (89.6°F) this afternoon at Vulture Central, and The Register's elite unit of pasty basement-dwellers, otherwise known as editorial, have scurried into the office to make the most of its semi-functioning air conditioning.

    Well, in Utah, USA it is currently 33°C. I think I am more surprised about the cold temp.

    Speaking of Florida, where 22°C is considered cold, they're probably laughing at us

    We usually go from around 38°C to as low as -12°C, but I am not laughing. It has cooled off for me this week. We were much higher last week. Thanks for (well kind of) taking one for the team.

  33. Morten_T
    Joke

    Surely all these hotflashes should be named after ladies in their "best age" :D

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