back to article Facebook: The future is private! So private, we designed some handy new fingercams for y'all!

Facebook, whose CEO in April declared, "The future is private," has applied to patent a system of coordinated finger-affixed cameras that allow wearers to live stream a panoramic view of their surroundings. Yes, you give Zuckerberg the finger, and he'll stick some kind of spy tracker on it. It was ever thus. The patent …

  1. b0llchit
    Black Helicopters

    Visual field distortion

    But, can it see and broadcast the Finger I am Showing it?

    [black helicopters, what else can you expect at finger range]

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just a question of time

    Until people start sticking the cameras to non-finger appendages, Then it is time to call the ambulances.

    1. 's water music Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Just a question of time

      well at least you will know where that finger has been now.

    2. DropBear Silver badge
      Gimp

      Re: Just a question of time

      FYI, those already exist.

  3. doublelayer Silver badge

    It comes to mind

    Anyone recently read The Circle by Dave Eggers and uncomfortably thinking about the transparent people?

    For those who haven't read the book and not planning to (it is a good one), the transparent people are people coerced by pier pressure and the pressure of a massive fictional tech company, the titular Circle, to wear a camera that livestreams everything they see and do and keep it enabled at all times. As the company does this, they manage to use some benefits of the system (E.G. politicians not being able to engage in blatant corruption when on camera) to make it essentially mandatory for anyone important to wear one, which they then use to impose other types of surveillance on the world at large.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It comes to mind

      "pier pressure"? being pressed against the stanchions of (e.g.) Brighton pier?

      1. Antonius_Prime
        Devil

        Re: It comes to mind

        I was thinking Piers pressure.

        Piers Morgan comes into yhour house and just starts talkingand won't stop or leave until you do what he wants.

        I wouldn't recommend it for me, being a member of the RFoBoFH...

        **KZZEEERRRRT**

    2. VinceH Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: It comes to mind

      Agreed - this book is recommended, particularly for those of us who are worried about the erosion of privacy through (and by) social networking sites/companies. The book (and the documentary based on it) were the first things that came to mind when reading this article precisely because of the wearable cameras.

      1. arsoliyats

        Re: It comes to mind

        I was thinking Piers pressure.

        Piers Morgan comes into yhour house and just starts talkingand won't stop or leave until you do what he wants.

        I wouldn't recommend it for me, being a member of the RFoBoFH...

    3. Down not across Silver badge

      Re: It comes to mind

      I haven't read the book, but I did see the film on Netflix. Well worth watching/reading.

  4. Aynon Yuser
  5. Chairman of the Bored Silver badge

    Medical uses?

    I might see some use cases for assisting surgeons. But I fail to see how it would be better than existing laparoscopic techniques.

    Realistically? Use case is pr0n.

  6. jake Silver badge

    One wonders what happens if ...

    ... one fingers a Glasshole wearing this kind of thing? And would anybody really care?

  7. DougS Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Finally a way to show my Facebook friends

    What other drivers look like when I give them the finger!

    Thumbs up, because close enough.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Facebook: The future is private! | Also Facebook: Users have no expectation of privacy!

    https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/6153329-05-29-2019-Facebook-Inc-Consumer-Privacy.html

  9. MatsSvensson

    BANG!

    Bang bang bang!

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: BANG!

      No mass shooting videos please.

  10. Tromos

    Facebook engineers propose using gestures and movement patterns

    Wrist pumping action to send message to Zuckerberg?

    1. Wellyboot Silver badge

      Re: Facebook engineers propose using gestures and movement patterns

      They've thought of that >>>a wrist articulation to stop it<<<

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Facefarce

    Still a solid NO

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They know where they can shove it

    (The finger that is)

  13. Saruman the White

    There is a simple solution to Facebook ...

    ... don't use it.

    1. asdf Silver badge

      Re: There is a simple solution to Facebook ...

      On the individual scale yes but sadly on the macro scale they are a serious threat to society.

  14. PerlyKing Bronze badge
    Big Brother

    It looks like Neal Stephenson got it wrong

    In Snowcrash his "gargoyles" recorded everything for the CIA. How naive :-(

  15. msknight Silver badge

    What kind of action does it take...

    ...when detecting a rapid and lasting up and down (or in out) motion?

    "Coor, it's dark in'ere."

    1. Antonius_Prime

      Re: What kind of action does it take...

      Live broadcast, no privacy settings, all friends & family and their friends & family, etc...

      Full Volume, cos natch...

  16. Chris G Silver badge

    The New Digital Photography

    I wonder where this is going?

    1. garou1674

      Re: The New Digital Pornography

      There, fix the title for you...

  17. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    The future is private

    That is effing rich coming from that fucker.

    1. asdf Silver badge

      Re: The future is private

      Doublespeak at its finest.

  18. Tom Paine Silver badge

    What could possibly...

    ...go wrong with a system that uses gestures to turn on live streaming?

    To control its hand-cams, Facebook engineers propose using gestures and movement patterns – a waving motion for camera activation or deactivation, a flicking motion to start recording, a wrist articulation to stop it, and a wrist rotation to broadcast live.

    I wouldn't want to be the QA people tasked with testing the uncommanded start protections. And it'd only take a few "whoops, I just wanted to crack one out, but I've accidentally broadcast my cock to the world" incidents to sink this silly idea forever.

  19. angstboy

    Facebook is evil. FACT

    Oh my God. Are you kidding? Zuckerberg wouldn’t take down Christchurch because it might affect kids birthdays parties. I’ve been on the Internet since you had to telnet in. Facebook is literally the worst thing to happen to the world ever. I deleted my account, But knowing them they still have all my data.

    1. garou1674

      Re: Facebook is evil. FACT

      Once you go Facebook, you can never take it back!

  20. Woza
    WTF?

    Talk about reality distortion

    'And they even describe a hand motion that "causes an advertisement to be presented in the live broadcast."'

    In what kind of world view is this seen as a benefit worth touting to potential users?

    1. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: Talk about reality distortion

      To advertisers, it's a great benefit.

  21. Falmari
    WTF?

    Patent!!!

    Ignoring privacy concerns how is it even patentable.

    Stitching streams together is not new.

    Wearable cameras is nothing new.

    Gesture control already done for multiple types of devices.

    What exactly is worthy of a patent?

    1. garou1674

      Re: Patent!!!

      Facebook did it, therefore it must be NEW!

  22. Graham Cobb

    Is this actually patentable?

    I thought patents were for things that worked. They were meant to reward the thousands of hours spent developing a working light bulb (for example): testing different materials for the glass, the filament, different gases, different voltages and different fittings. The reward for solving practical problems with working solutions.

    Since when have "ideas" been patentable? Have facebook actually done the work to develop and test such a system? Or is it just a vague idea?

    If it is patentable, why haven't all SF writers patented the ideas in their novels?

  23. HarryBl

    I'm not sure that Zuck would want to know where I stick my fingers...

    1. Twanky

      I'm not sure that Zuck would want to know where I stick my fingers...

      No matter what you had in mind when you wrote that, he *does* want to know. *Some* company will want to advertise at you and will want to pick the most appropriate time.

    2. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

      Dilbert, 1993, prior art?

      https://dilbert.com/strip/1993-03-10

      Sensors (or CPUs) on all of your fingernails.

    3. M.V. Lipvig

      Kinda like how Alexa is always listening. There you are banging your significant other, and a drone shows up tapping the window with lube and a box of condoms. With this, they'll know if you need small or extra large.

  24. LeahroyNake Bronze badge

    Stick it

    Where the sun don't shine!

    1. garou1674

      Re: Stick it

      Yeah, imagine trying to wipe with the thing on... no thanks :)

  25. Teiwaz Silver badge

    Fingercam?

    Stop remaking classics!!

    Fingermouse is definitive.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Patent troll?

    > "Rather than simply covering the technology practiced in Facebook’s products and services, most of its patents focus on future-looking technology. For these reasons and others, patents should never be taken as an indication of future plans"

    Have Facebook just admitted to being patent trolls?

  27. JohnFen Silver badge

    Facebook's idea of "private"

    Facebook's new idea of "private" clearly means "just between you and Facebook" rather than actually meaning private.

  28. CJPM
    Windows

    Prior art?

    TV series from the early70s. Does this count as prior art?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Search_(TV_series)#Cast

  29. E 2

    Not new art.

    The Japanese adult film industry has prior art.

  30. arsoliyats

    > "Rather than simply covering the technology practiced in Facebook’s products and services, most of its patents focus on future-looking technology. For these reasons and others, patents should never be taken as an indication of future plans"

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