back to article We asked readers what DXC should be known for... and of course you came up with the goods

El Reg this week asked readers to lean their e-bike against the Japanese maple that overlooks the strategy boutique to help Ed Ho, GM for the Build division at DXC Technology, determine what his employer's brand stands for. Our legions of readers, of course, knew exactly how to give DXC execs the full treatment, saving cash …

  1. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

    Poll? What poll?

    1. Excellentsword (Written by Reg staff)

      There now! Go forth.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Are you making smalltalk?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Not with my lisp

          1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

            Just sitting here scheming.

            1. jake Silver badge

              I'm beginning to see the object of this exercise.

        2. DJV Silver badge

          I C what you did there...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I went forth and all I got was this program for controlling a radio telescope.

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Alien

          I saw a documentary about radio telescopes, apparently there was a very nasty accident at one a few years back, some idiot with walked out onto a walkway that was totally without any safety rails & without fall arrest equipment (The scarf he took with him was woefully inadequate for the purpose) & fell off as the thing was moving.

          1. jake Silver badge

            As we say around here ...

            ... stupidity should hurt!

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Whatever they do it' can't be what all those they sacked were doing because they're not there to do it any more. Maybe that's why they're puzzled.

  3. Semtex451 Silver badge
    Pint

    " asked readers to lean their e-bike against the Japanese maple that overlooks the strategy boutique"

    Someone's watched too much Grand Tour

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      Or Drop the Dead Donkey.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        DtDD

        Oh the memories. In my formative teenage years did have a thing for Haydn Gwynne in that.

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: DtDD

          " asked readers to lean their e-bike against the Japanese maple that overlooks the strategy boutique"

          & Haydn Gwnne....

          Did that make it a Glans Tour for you?

  4. neilo

    A pity

    A pity that "at DXC, we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied" wasn't an option, because that has a beautiful consistency for DXC's attitude to both customers and employees.

    It's also somewhat politer than "I'm Mike Lawrie. Fuck you."

    1. macjules Silver badge

      Re: A pity

      Almost as good as Vodafone's "We never forget you have a choice, so f**k off then".

      1. MyffyW Silver badge

        Re: A pity

        Or Voda's current one "The future is exciting. Ready?" which I thought was my VIC20 reaching from beyond the grave.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A pity

      How about: "I'm Mike Lawrie and I really don't give a fuck as I have more money than I know what to do with"?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You'll spend it on food right, not liquor?

    The products will be anything that can turn a trick, while the leaders feed their stock value obsession.

    The kind of stuff that just woos new customers.

  6. disk iops

    DiXie-Chicks

    When they changed their name that's what I started calling our on-site DXC "consultants". Pissed them off to no end - but they deserved the reference.

    Others I whipped out back in the day.

    Don't eXpect / eXecute (the) Code / Change - they were supposedly helping us develop CICD/DevOps and whatever they wrote was either utterly wrong/useless and needed a total rewrite.

    Damn eXpensive Crap

    etc.

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: DiXie-Chicks

      Have an upvote for Damn eXpensive Crap

      DXC (or whaever they are called this week) really do need to make more staff cuts. The entire BOD and 'C' level execs for a start. Then 50% of the 'B' level execs who still can't organise a piss up in a brewery unless their secretary does it for them.

      The poor grunts on the ground are being shafted by the bosses who should [see icon]

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have a complaint...

    "DXC – mostly better than Capita!"

    Really? Surely this is just optimistic Crapita customers thinking that DXC can't possibly be as bad without knowing the truth.

    While Crapita will likely screw everything up, the reason DXC didn't screw up task X is because they fired the team. Oh? A screw up that eventually delivers something barely usable is still better than nothing?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I have a complaint...

      I assumed the Capita reference was ironic.

  8. sawatts

    Nothing, Nothing at all.

    ...would be about right.

  9. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

    I like DiXie Chicks.

    1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
      Linux

      fried or roasted?

      1. disk iops

        definitely NOT naked. Also preferably un-miked / unplugged

        (hint: american girl band)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      They play both types of music, Country and Western!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did someone at The Register used to work at DXC, I think perhap so

    With the amount of articles about DXC and the negative slant, I think someone at El Reg used to work for DXC and did not leave on happy terms.

    Is that the case?

    1. neilo

      Re: Did someone at The Register used to work at DXC, I think perhap so

      "With the amount of articles about DXC and the negative slant, I think someone at El Reg used to work for DXC and did not leave on happy terms."

      I'm confused. You have something positive to say about that festering shithole of a company? I would love to hear it!

      Disclaimer: I use to work for D☠️C!

      1. tfewster Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Did someone at The Register used to work at DXC, I think perhap so

        I worked for Collection of Small Companies for a while. I didn't think they could get any slacker, but it seems they've Definitely eXceeded Complacency.

    2. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: Did someone at The Register used to work at DXC, I think perhap so

      Since when was The Register positive about anyone?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Did someone at The Register used to work at DXC, I think perhap so

      They were happy to leave.

    4. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: "Is that the case?"

      No. Paul, who writes our DXC stories, has never worked for DXC.

      C.

    5. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Did someone at The Register used to work at DXC, I think perhap so

      Do you also think all the people posting negative comments about DXC in response to those articles are former DXC employees?

      You'd be wrong about that, too.

  11. John Savard Silver badge

    Chess Computers?

    I thought they should be known for chess computers, but that was CXG.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Delivery: "The string is not long enough, please provide more"

    Middle Management: "Use string in a more effective manner, I will report to executives that we are making the string stretch"

    Executive: "Cut the string in half, use virtual string, then tell customer we use chains but only charge them for rope"

  13. KittenHuffer

    I see there are currently 213 other Ca ...... employees of a certain company who have voted!!!

  14. Lotaresco

    They want a new slogan?

    That's change, that will be £150,000 please.

  15. wobblyjelly

    I walked past a news feed in the office today subtitles read "Digital seX Crime" bill review. Maybe not then

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