back to article One man went to mow a meadow, hoping Trump would spot giant grass snake under flightpath

Here's hoping Trump spotted the welcome willy at the Essex village of Hatfield Heath when he flew into London Stansted Airport this morning for his UK state visit. An A-level student reportedly spent the weekend mowing a giant todger into the grass of his family home under the main flightpath, along with an "Oi Trump" caption …

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  2. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Devil

    It is not yet clear if Don will be sporting his new slicked back hairdo or if he'll resort to the Orange Mist – or Golden Cobweb if you prefer – that has so bedazzled the public in recent years.

    It suits him, it's more Sopranos-like.

  3. macjules Silver badge
    Facepalm

    What a pity

    Originally he was going to be chauffeured in to London ... with Prince Phillip behind the wheel.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: What a pity

      You're evil...

      ...But I laughed -->

    2. TRT Silver badge

      Re: What a pity

      You know... with all that extra gubbins on board the ageing 747 airframe of Airforce One, the flight characteristics must be considerably different to your standard jumbo jet. One can only hope that Boeing engineers saw fit to implement some sort of software system to augment the manoeuvring characteristics.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What a pity

        You're hoping for a bird strike on the AoA sensors, aren't you?

        Such evil deserves an upvote :)

        1. eldakka Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: What a pity

          Shouldn't that be bird be quoted:

          "You're hoping for a 'bird' strike on the AoA sensors, aren't you?"

  4. don't you hate it when you lose your account

    Nice

    Very good piece of gardening

  5. Blockchain commentard Silver badge

    Good con that, persuading your eco-friendly children to mow the lawn. Now, was it a manual lawn mower or a gas-guzzling ride-on?

    1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

      hydrocarbons vs ATP

      So two fields, two committed Greens. Given the choice of low carbon, sustainable horticulture, choose a scythe*, or a power mower. Ponder on the advantages of hyrdocarbons.

      OK, perhaps not.. although fun to wield and fast, also require some skill to avoid involuntary amputations. I guess for bonus points, could compare CO2 produced from exercise vs sitting on a lawnmower.

  6. TRT Silver badge

    He left the grass cuttings on the field...

    Mulch ado about nothing?

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: He left the grass cuttings on the field...

      He couldn't be grassed...

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: He left the grass cuttings on the field...

        Even though it's a lot less bovver?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: He left the grass cuttings on the field...

      I'm not telling, I'm no grass.

      1. Korev Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: He left the grass cuttings on the field...

        Mow way!

      2. Louis Schreurs

        Re: He left the grass cuttings on the field...

        No wood neither.

        1. Ken Shabby Bronze badge
          Alert

          Re: He left the grass cuttings on the field...

          Fake news, those pictures are clearly a plant...

  7. TacticalTimbo

    Zzzz...perhaps he could spend the time looking for a job, then maybe he could move out of his parents gaff.

    1. ibmalone Silver badge

      I don't know about the US, but in the UK leaving home before finishing school is usually reserved for the more unfortunate cases of family breakdown. However, according to the linked article he does run an online marketplace, so technically he's got one already.

      Edit: use of the word "gaff" suggests a UK poster, not realising an A-level student isn't really expected to have moved out of their parents' home suggests non-UK. So who knows...

      1. Jeffrey Nonken Silver badge

        "Edit: use of the word "gaff" suggests a UK poster, not realising an A-level student isn't really expected to have moved out of their parents' home suggests non-UK. So who knows..."

        Can't speak for GP, but as an American, I find myself using Britishisms all the time. No doubt due to a lifetime watching British comedies and BBC specials, reading British IT hack rags, and having a few British-authored webcomics in my reading list.

      2. Mine's a Large One

        I read that as ... "leaving home before 'finishing school'..." and thought "bloody hell, how posh are you?!?!

        Then I re-read it again properly and went for a coffee to wake myself up!!

  8. adam payne Silver badge

    An A-level student reportedly spent the weekend mowing a giant todger into the grass of his family home under the main flightpath, along with an "Oi Trump" caption.

    Best use of a weekend ever?!?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Childish Dick Move.

    And the student gardener stunt isn't too mature either.

    1. BebopWeBop Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Childish Dick Move.

      Well he amused most commentards - but I guess we are all a little childish as well.

      1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

        Re: Childish Dick Move.

        There is nothing wrong with being childish from time to time.

        The problem with Trump is that he's never properly grown up.

        The Secret Service really should take his phone away. There is a distinct possibility of starting WW3 with one of his tweets.

        His name calling does not work here. It just makes him the playground bully.

        Please, please just go home we really do not want you here (Except for Boris and Farage that is)

        I'm so glad that I'm in a different country at the moment (Kernow).

        1. Someone Else Silver badge

          Re: Childish Dick Move.

          Please, please just go home we really do not want you here (Except for Boris and Farage that is)

          What makes you think we want him back?

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Childish Dick Move.

          "I'm so glad that I'm in a different country at the moment (Kernow)."

          Why don't you just pick some historical date and the whole of the UK can go back to it's historical Kingdoms and borders? Cornwall hasn't been a country for a 1000 years. Get over it or claim full independence.

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: Childish Dick Move.

            Cornwall hasn't been a country for a 1000 years

            Well - up until the 1750's they had their own Parliament (The Stannaries) which I would say fulfills at least one of the requirements to be a country..

            And they most certainly have their own language[1] - a sister-language of Welsh and Breton.

            [1] Yes, yes, I know that it died out and was revived - doesn't make it any less real.

        3. ridley

          Re: Childish Dick Move.

          No don't take his phone away that will give him time to do other more damaging stuff.

          Leave him the phone but perhaps use some mobile infrastructure that allows you to intercept the messages before they go out.

          Hue know of anything like that?

          1. Louis Schreurs

            Re: Childish Dick Move.

            Hue new?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Childish Dick Move.

        Indeed, and so very, very, pre-dick-table.

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Childish Dick Move.

      Well, he got his name in the paper and one knows what they say about publicity. In this case it's probably pubic publicity.

    3. Stevie Silver badge

      Re: Childish Dick Move.

      As childish as, say, having the sharp end of a warship hidden from The Presidential Eyeballs because of its name?

    4. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Re: Childish Dick Move.

      And the student gardener stunt isn't too mature either.

      Perfectly matched the intended audience of one IMHO.

      You have to hand it to him, though, he's probably one of the few men in the history of news who has managed to get his d*ck in family papers to popular approval and without an entry in the sex offenders register..

      :)

  10. WonkoTheSane Silver badge

    Sad news everyone

    I'm seeing reports that his route through London has been cleared of all people except the press.

    No milkshake opporunities today!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sad news everyone

      Your milkshake brings all the boys from Scotland yard....

      1. MyffyW Silver badge

        Re: Sad news everyone

        ...alt-right no better than Jaws (IV, 1987)

      2. Stevie Silver badge

        Re: Sad news everyone

        I hear OPOTUS brought his own security because it would take too long for Scotland Yard's best to get to London.

  11. steve 124

    childish

    I love how people call our Prez childish whilst taking jabs at his appearance. Very mature journalism.

    1. Tom Paine Silver badge

      Re: childish

      We know he's a nasty racist crooked sex-case being blackmailed by the Russians, so there's not much more serious journalism left to say or do about the visit.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: childish

        Has to be a troll account - either that or the TDs is very strong with this one.

        Though I guess Trump should never have said (thinking he was off mic) that "tell Vladimir I will have more flexibility after the election..." dead ringer for a Russian stooge that one. Basic mistake I guess from the "manchild".

        And of course he's thoroughly "racist" in it's current modernist sense - by NOT believing that everything about a person is predetermined by the colour of their skin. Sad that, and of course by this standard MLK was a raving racist loon.

      2. eldakka Silver badge

        Re: childish

        I doubt he needs to be blackmailed to work with the Russians.

      3. steve 124

        Re: childish

        Could you please post the documentation for your accusations? Cause I haven't seen shite indicating what you just said.

        1. Stevie Silver badge

          Re: post the documentation

          From his own public record: "Many sides ...", "Shithole countries..." and of course the whole immigrant rhetoric.

        2. Kiwi Silver badge

          Re: childish

          I haven't seen shite indicating what you just said.

          You mean you've never watched any of his campaign speeches, or read any of his tweets?

      4. Cederic Bronze badge

        Re: childish

        Interesting that El Reg has left libel unmoderated.

        At least the target isn't known to be vindictive about these things..

    2. codejunky Silver badge

      Re: childish

      @steve 124

      It is not ok to insult someones appearance, but only if they are left snowflakes who cant take it. For those of limited thought 'orange man bad' is about as much as they can handle without hurting themselves.

      Its like assault being bad unless the target is lefty approved. Or tax avoidance is ok if its lefty approved. But then crying on the street because Hillary lost is pretty childish.

      On the plus side steve I hear some of our political fools have self selected not to meet the president so he is spared the likes of Corbyn for example.

      1. Aedile

        Re: childish

        Punctuation, contractions, and grammar don't seem to be a strong suit among most Trump supporters. Sad!

        1. steve 124

          Re: childish

          Guess you don't like the American slang "Prez", because that's the only misspelling or grammatical mistake in my post. Of course, we could look at all the replies and have a field day. (Yes, I started that one with a proposition just to get your cackles up).

          1. Stevie Silver badge

            Re: childish

            "Cause"?

          2. DavCrav Silver badge

            Re: childish

            "[I] Guess you don't like the American slang "Prez", because that's the only misspelling or grammatical mistake in my post. Of course, we could look at all the replies and have a field day. (Yes, I started that one with a proposition just to get your [hackles] up)."

            FTFY.

          3. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

            Re: childish

            "proposition"? "cackles up"? Your command of the English language is indeed impressive.

      2. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
        Flame

        Re: childish

        "snowflakes"

        Funny how it's always the right-wingers these days who get their panties in a wad when someone makes fun of Twitler, who provides ample fuel for ridicule. Seriously, if you can't admit that Cheetolini is a childish boor with no class whatsoever (or at least acknowledge why he's perceived that way), I can only imagine that you either aren't paying attention or are in severe denial.

        In re: the more general comments about the media, etc.:

        1) WELCOME TO THE REGISTER!

        2) This article is in Bootnotes.

        3) Suck it up, buttercup; CRY MOAR; what a bunch of whiny snowflakes, etc.

        1. Louis Schreurs

          Re: childish

          I am a real snowflake, reading

          “1) WELCOME TO THE REGISTER!

          2) This article is in Bootnotes.

          3) Suck it up, buttercup; CRY MOAR; what a bunch of whiny snowflakes, etc.”

          made me have an emotional breakdown over how exquisitely some properties of my beloved forum were pointed out.

        2. steve 124

          Re: childish

          Another Lib resorting to just name calling. Seriously, you guys are going to have a tough life and you deserve it.

          Instead of throwing juvenile insults are our POTUS, why not back up some of your claims with some facts? I would love to hear more about how he has acted like Hitler or Mussolini? Can you show me where he's hiding the death camps? (and, no, the over crowded holding facilities for ILLEGALS doesn't compare to Auschowitz, and if you make that comparison then you have to acknowledge that these were running, in worse conditions, under your beloved Obama [blessed be our Great Obama).

          We could make this easier, maybe you can list some of the "crimes" Trump has committed (please show your work). Remember, the definition of a crime is "breaking an existing law". So if you list something you perceive as "unjust" or "unfair" (God knows you little snowflakes can't bear unfairness) that there isn't a law saying you can't do it, really just doesn't count as a "crime". I know this is a hard concept for a generation of folks who got trophies for losing little league games, but try real hard, after all, you are so much smarter than us.

          Maybe you hate Trump because of what he's done to our country in the last 2 years... Let's see, lower unemployment, we're now exporting energy (gas, coal, oil) instead of getting it all from the middle east... hmm no that doesn't work.

          Perhaps it's because he's racist? Hmm, 1.3 million black people have jobs who didn't during Obama...

          Well, it must be because he stomps on the constitution all the time. After all he's signed 276 executive orders to bypass Congress and basically used his pen like a King passing down edicts... oh, wait, that was Obama who did that...

          Well, I'm sure you'll think of something. After all, you want him Impeached, so there must be a real Zinger out there (High Crimes and Misdemeanors right?)

          Well, maybe I understand now why you're just throwing childish insults. You really don't have any thing between those buns do you? Yea, I didn't think so.

          1. Stevie Silver badge

            Re: childish

            "Auschowitz"?

            Moving on.

            Turns out we get most of our oil from domestic sources, then Latin American sources, Then Canadian sources and finally about 1/12th of it from the Persian Gulf. We get almost as much from Africa as we do from the Persian Gulf, so call it less than 1/6th overall sourced off the North and South American continents.

            The Arabian Oil component of our energy budget would seem to be significant, but not strategic, something that could be made up with renewables if OPOTUS wasn't afraid the noise of windmills would give us all cancer (his own words, from his own hands, in print; don't shoot the messenger).

            1. Stevie Silver badge

              Re: childish

              On noes, thumbed down!

              Was it because I pointed out the mis-spelling of "Auschwitz" I wonder, something the auto spell-checker in just about ever piece of software that cares would have spotted?

              Perhaps it was because I didn't cite my sources for the oil import data I quoted? I just pulled up google and typed in "Where does the US get its oil from?" and used the first result (which happened to be NPR, but I would have used one from FOX had there been one).

              If it was because of the "Windmill noise causes cancer" remark, that is a direct quote from OPOTUS himself, made by the great man about two or three weeks ago. As I said before, don't blame me for that one.

              It occurs to me that the 1/6th shortfall of oil sourced from Arabian and African wells could also be ameliorated by making domestic use of Freedom Gas instead of selling it.

              I hope the down-thumber is mollified by this admittedly late addendum to my original post.

          2. Kiwi Silver badge

            Re: childish

            "...juvenile insults are our POTUS,"

            Got it in one...

            So if you list something you perceive as "unjust" or "unfair" (God knows you little snowflakes can't bear unfairness) that there isn't a law saying you can't do it, really just doesn't count as a "crime".

            Capitalising "God" suggests you believe in Him. Tell me, what does God have to say about "fair" or for that matter the manner in which immigrants are treated? Or is all that stuff about "not oppressing" and "do not show favouritism" not valid since it's Trump and its followers doing it? If you do follow God, then lets see if you can answer this - what is the Biblical backing for Trump's actions? How does his behaviour - especially his treatment of immigrants (illegal, potential or otherwise) fit with "Love your neighbour". Or does he think screwing/molesting everything he can get his filthy little hands on is obeying "love your neighbour"?

            Perhaps it's because he's racist? Hmm, 1.3 million black people have jobs who didn't during Obama...

            That doesn't mean he's NOT racist - just look at the garbage he spouted about Mexicans and those from countries further south.

            Your country, once respected, is now one of the most hated in the world. Allegiences are being broken, a very bad recession seems about to start (whereas under Obama you had a growing economy - all those people who now have jobs got them because of the legacy of past governments, not because

            of this twit).

            But not of that is why I dislike him. Mine is simply based on the fact that he is a vile evil person, very selfish and exceptionally harmful to others. This psychopath you have as POTUS is not there for your benefit - if you benefit that's purely by luck. He is there for his benefit and his alone, and will not care the least who he harms along the way. His compulsive lying, his preaching violence towards those who disagree with him, his abuse of women (and, if the cases that have strangely been silenced are to be believed, little girls), his grandstanding and expecting everyone to like him - all show him to be a psychopath (thanks to the AC at https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/3792921 for pointing me to "The Psychopath Test").

            You will come to regret having him anywhere near any position of power.

      3. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
        IT Angle

        Re: childish

        Quote

        Its like assault being bad unless the target is lefty approved. Or tax avoidance is ok if its lefty approved. But then crying on the street because Hillary lost is pretty childish.

        If the US approved candidate for president in a.n.other country won the vote by 3 million yet had a US opponent installed as president, the US would be round double quick to deliver 'freedom'

        And before you blather on about the electoral college , how many republicans in New York and California dont vote because they live in a democrat state?

        1. Clunking Fist Bronze badge

          Re: childish

          "If the US approved candidate for president in a.n.other country won the vote by 3 million yet had a US opponent installed as president, the US would be round double quick to deliver 'freedom"

          Err, can you give us an example of when Trump has done this? No?

          If you are referring to Trump stating that he thought BoJo would be good for the job, then you may need to be reminded that Obama made a video appeal to Britons to vote Remain. That's a not very subtle way to influence an election...

        2. codejunky Silver badge

          Re: childish

          @Boris the Cockroach

          So your entire argument is that Trump won? By the very rules that elect presidents in the US Trump won. I agree he won but I dont see how thats an argument against him.

      4. Clunking Fist Bronze badge

        Re: childish

        Aye. MP gets called a Nazi, calls the police. Accused gets a ban from London and notes placed on his record. But throw a milkshake in an actual assault (no doubt ruining a suit at the same time) and ... nothing. Honk honk: it's clown world where the goose and the gander live under different rules and different sets of expectations.

        1. Bernard M. Orwell
          Holmes

          Re: childish

          "But throw a milkshake in an actual assault (no doubt ruining a suit at the same time) and ... nothing"

          Someone's not paying attention...

          "A man has been charged with common assault and criminal damage after Nigel Farage had a milkshake thrown at him while on a walkabout in Newcastle city centre."

          [Source] https://www.scotsman.com/news/crime/man-charged-with-assault-for-throwing-milkshake-on-nigel-farage-1-4931223

      5. Ian Emery Silver badge

        Re: childish

        I think I blocked this bot on twitter over the weekend - it sent me the same "for shame" rant.

      6. Bernard M. Orwell
        Mushroom

        Re: childish

        "It is not ok to insult someones appearance.."

        No, its not. It's also an ad hominem argument, which is the most purile of all logical fallacies. So, lets see what Trumpet said in his tweets yesterday....

        "...Kahn reminds me very much of our very dumb and incompetent Mayor of NYC, de Blasio, who has also done a terrible job - only half his height."

        Yeah. Live by the sword, die by the sword you rancid, racist, sexist, small-brained orange prick.

        1. codejunky Silver badge

          Re: childish

          @Bernard M. Orwell

          You seem to have missed an important part of my text when you quoted me. I was pointing out the difference between attacking the 'approved' targets such as the president of the united states, but yet going the other way seems to outrage and upset.

          This isnt limited to the US president either. Law abiding companies, political campaigning and I wouldnt be happy with it going only the other way either. As for the UK, we have all kinds of visitors from all over the world who we approve of at varying levels but first world problems Trump is the most upsetting.

      7. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: childish

        Someone on "El Reg" used the term "snowflake" without irony.

        Seems we do let all sorts in here.

        Can we have an anti-idiot filter please?

      8. DavCrav Silver badge

        Re: childish

        "It is not ok to insult someone[']s appearance, but only if they are left[-wing] snowflakes who can[']t take it. For those of limited thought[,] 'orange man bad' is about as much as they can handle without hurting themselves."

        In general it isn't OK to insult someone's appearance, yes. First, Trump has repeatedly insulted others' appearances, and so he definitely moves into the 'fair game' category, especially given his own Mr Blobby physique, interesting hair, and inability to pronounce standard English words. For your information, I included the punctuation missing from your post. Of course, it is not necessary for you, since you are not of limited thought.

        "It[']s like assault being bad unless the target is lefty approved. Or tax avoidance is ok if it[']s lefty approved. But then crying on the street because Hillary lost is pretty childish."

        Again, I think the only cases where assault is reasonable is when someone who repeatedly assaults or incites assault on others is then assaulted, because it would fall under 'just desserts'. Even then, if we are talking about physical violence -- having a milkshake thrown in your face is not physical violence -- then I do not approve even if the target is an extreme politician.

        I have never heard anyone justify tax evasion/avoidance by any organizations.

        Crying on the street because Hillary Clinton lost -- examples, please? -- is a little over the top, but could be justified if you are one of the targets of Trump's campaign. You know, foreigners, women, the educated, etc..

        1. codejunky Silver badge

          Re: childish

          @DavCrav

          "In general it isn't OK to insult someone's appearance, yes. First, Trump has repeatedly insulted others' appearances, and so he definitely moves into the 'fair game' category"

          Thats true. Although he was set upon as soon as he joined the race. But of course he can dish it out as well as he gets it and thats fine. And please dont correct the punctuation, I prefer the mindless to be distracted by it as the point flies over their head.

          "Again, I think the only cases where assault is reasonable is when someone who repeatedly assaults or incites assault on others is then assaulted, because it would fall under 'just desserts'."

          Eye for an eye? We moved on from that didnt we from the tribes to a system of laws. So those assaulting can be arrested, such as when they throw milkshakes at politicians. And that is physical violence. And inciting violence would also be 'the milkshake challenge' then. But in this upside down world the victim is an 'extreme' politician.

          "Crying on the street because Hillary Clinton lost -- examples, please?"

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDYNVH0U3cs

          "You know, foreigners, women, the educated, etc.."

          Except none of this has been demonstrated. Which is why its not really taken seriously outside extreme left circles.

          1. Kiwi Silver badge
            FAIL

            Re: childish

            Except none of this has been demonstrated. Which is why its not really taken seriously outside extreme left circles.

            You really never watched his campaign speeches, any thing from him since he got into office, or read any of his tweets did you?

            Maybe if you paid attention to the stuff he spouts you'd find out why defending him is, well, rather indefensible.

            1. codejunky Silver badge

              Re: childish

              @Kiwi

              "You really never watched his campaign speeches, any thing from him since he got into office, or read any of his tweets did you?"

              Yes I have. And there are plenty of actual things to complain about, real reasons to dislike him. But those perpetually looking to take offence and complain about nothing dilute any serious complaints against him.

              "Maybe if you paid attention to the stuff he spouts you'd find out why defending him is, well, rather indefensible."

              He has been unelectable and was elected president so being indefensible and being defended seems about right. Especially with the accusations usually levelled at him.

      9. Mooseman Bronze badge

        Re: childish

        "It is not ok to insult someones appearance, but only if they are left snowflakes who cant take it. For those of limited thought 'orange man bad' is about as much as they can handle without hurting themselves."

        It's ok for the president of the USA to mock a disabled man on camera though? Moron.

        1. codejunky Silver badge

          Re: childish

          @Mooseman

          "It's ok for the president of the USA to mock a disabled man on camera though? Moron."

          Did I say that? In fact your complaining that he calls others while I dont see the complaint against those calling him. Shockingly my point.

    3. Martin
      WTF?

      Re: childish

      "...whilst taking jabs at his appearance..."

      It was your president that said that Sadiq Khan was as incompetent as the NY mayor, only half the height.

      If he feels it is reasonable political discourse to attack people based on their appearance, he can't complain when it happens to him.

    4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: childish

      Oh, I think the majority respect the office of the President and the USA. We just don't necessarily respect any one particular holder of said office. Like that line used so often in US military and Police films and TV shows, "With all due respect to your rank sir, you're an asshole"

    5. vaporland

      Re: childish

      i just love how Trump's in everyone's head 24/7.

      the world could extinguish his flame in one day by merely ignoring him, but they don't. they CAN't.

      fake news media made trump, because they thought he was gonna get thumped by HRC.

      how did that work out again?

      you'll all miss him after 2024...

      1. the Jim bloke Silver badge
        Unhappy

        Re: childish

        Only the media - including self publishing social media "influencers" (Hooray, spell check recognises that that ISNT a word!) will miss him,and will persist in dragging his memory out and shoving it in our faces - but the rest of us will be glad he is gone, and pray his successors dont try to out-do him.

  12. RobertLongshaft

    ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD, ORANGE MAN BAD.

    Thank you media overlords for your wisdom.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      I blame the red tops.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        I blame the red tops.

        Oi! Not *all* gingers are evil y'know..

        Or so I've heard.

    2. Martin-73 Silver badge

      It seems a legitimate appraisal of trump. Unless you meant the oompah loompahs... they're more nuanced

  13. MJB7 Bronze badge

    Photos, or it didn't happen

    As title.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Needs to be careful, Trump might think it's an offer to let him come round and piss on him while drinking polar bear vodka. My advice, make sure you get a lawyer to check the N.D.A. but not a Russian one.

  15. BGatez Bronze badge

    Got the wrong end to describe donald

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      No, not the wrong end but only half. He's both. I just really wish someone would take away his damn Twitter account and tell him to stay off the phone, ignore the polls, and do his damn job. The constant whines about how everyone is doing him wrong or getting away with things and the endless proclamations of fake news, shall we, rather tiring.

  16. chivo243 Silver badge
    Devil

    I like it

    Great message to send... too bad it isn't autumn, the phallic mowing would have some red in the short and curly's

    Spawn of Satan, do I need to explain?

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Once again...

    It's a contest between the childlike idiocy of some young New Soschlist versus the childlike idiocy of El Reg commenting on it

    1. BebopWeBop Silver badge

      Re: Once again...

      Both winners then?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Once again...

        In their own minds - aren't they always ?

    2. Martin-73 Silver badge

      Re: Once again...

      I take it you dislike socialism. For no legitimate reason ?

      1. Clunking Fist Bronze badge

        Re: Once again...

        "I take it you dislike socialism. For no legitimate reason ?"

        Okay, apart from the fact that it kills millions, lays waste to the environment, leave millions in abject misery (materially and in terms of freedom of association and thought) and stymies technological advancement outside of the military, no: no legitimate reason to dislike socialism whatsoever. Lets implement it immediately!

        (But I suspect you are confusing socialism with what the Scandinavian countries are doing: capitalism with strong social programmes?)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Once again...

          "But I suspect you are confusing socialism with what the Scandinavian countries are doing"

          Or you're confusing socialism with communism..?

        2. DavCrav Silver badge

          Re: Once again...

          "lays waste to the environment"

          Capitalism is doing a pretty good number on the environment as well, of course.

        3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Once again...

          apart from the fact that it kills millions, lays waste to the environment

          Sounds remarkably like the US..

  18. Chris G Silver badge

    Mowed be dick

    Was the phallic symbol a comment on the illustrious visitor or the two ministers who are greeting him.

    For the benefit of other commenters, yes I have a childish sense of humour, lose touch with your inner child and become old beyond your years.

    I also note the childish level of many tweets that have seen the light of day in the last two or three years.

    1. Martin-73 Silver badge

      Re: Mowed be dick

      All of the above.

  19. Psmo Bronze badge
    FAIL

    Fake nudes

    A teenager doing the lawn without being asked?

    Obvious fake.

    1. Kiwi Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Fake nudes

      A teenager doing the lawn without being asked?

      Obvious fake.

      Not necessarily.

      He clearly found a way to be a dick about it.

      'Stick it to the man', so to speak.

      Dunno if his parents were cut-up about his dickish behaviour when he mowed the lawn.

      At least he can't be charged with a crime for sending dicpics on his phone this way.

      And like all teenage boys, his concept of size is probably 'somewhat lacking'.

  20. RobThBay

    They should have substituted a pair of comedians with hidden cameras to meet Don at the airport.He wouldn't have known the difference.

  21. RobThBay

    Use another Jeremy...

    He should've been met by Jeremy Clarkson instead. Now that would be worth watching.

    1. Kiwi Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: Use another Jeremy...

      He should've been met by Jeremy Clarkson instead. Now that would be worth watching.

      Better still if Clarkson had been told Chump was responsible for lunch...

  22. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
    WTF?

    Imagine that you find out that your next door neighbour who's married with kids is seeing prostitutes. How would this affect your judgment of this man? Would you trust him? Would you lend him your lawn mower? Would you even trust him to walk your dog?

    Trump is an arsehole, I would not trust him in *any* situation.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What a curiously Victorian attitude, tell me, if he was, pardon me for saying it, homosexual and actually actively so, would you be so disturbed ? What about trans....any other phobias you need to work through ?

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        What has his sexuality got to do with cheating on his partner? Are you saying that's ok for homosexuals?

        Maybe you need to take a closer look at that chip on your shoulder.

        1. Clunking Fist Bronze badge

          Maybe you need to have a closer look at that Clinton (or Kennedy or Wiener) on your shoulder? They all do it, so Trump is only following a well-worn path. Get over it.

          1. Louis Schreurs

            What about.... What about.... What about.... What about.... What about.... What about.... !!!

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Really "regular" student

    Family with fields and fields as a garden, claims to be an entrepreneur.

    Kinda reminds of Rick from the Young Ones, tries to look like an anarchist to annoy his hard right tory parents but is more like them than he wants to admit.

    Side note Trump is a tool and its sickening how various politicians are lining up to lick his backside to get a "bigly good trade deal" to make brexshit look appetising....

  24. Ian Michael Gumby Silver badge
    Boffin

    Too funny.

    Some of this stuff is funny, some of it is not.

    I mean the big Trump baby balloon? Priceless. I want one. Seriously.

    The penile lawn prank? Again also funny. Not so much childish but well played since its on the flight path.

    W.R.T Climate change... I don't think Trump doubts it. Just the man made part. BTW, he pulled out of Paris Accord and the US still lowered their CO2 output at a greater percentage than most other countries. (Goodbye Coal, Hello Natural Gas) But hey! if you want to cut that in to a field, knock yourself out.

    You could even have said "F____ Trump!" In the states we have this thing called the First Amendment.

    The one thing I saw that wasn't funny... the 'Trump poopy robot.' Not well executed. Sorry, but really a piss poor hack. There was so much more that he could have done and done better.

    But hey, the one thing about Trump. Man child or not. He was elected POTUS. I mean if you want to get down to it. Trudeau of Canada, Boris soon to be UK Prime Minister.. all are goofs. Not 'Presidential' material, if you believe the press.

    But we will survive.

    Also a quick news flash... The earth isn't going to end in 12 years.

    Oh and I heard a rumor. They let Trump have the phone so he can tweet. But they hide the 'football' from him. Hope that makes you sleep better at night.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Too funny.

      "W.R.T Climate change... I don't think Trump doubts it. Just the man made part. BTW, he pulled out of Paris Accord and the US still lowered their CO2 output at a greater percentage than most other countries. "

      Lies, damned lies and statistics :-)

  25. Someone Else Silver badge

    Who sez...

    Who says Brits don't have a sense of 'umour?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Who sez...

      no-one

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There's a worrying curve to that there shaft.

  27. fredesmite Bronze badge

    To all my friends in UK

    I'm sorry that asshole and his Euro Trash Tramp's plane didn't go down on the way over. Hopefully it will happen on the return trip and this nightmare will be over

    1. Clunking Fist Bronze badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: To all my friends in UK

      Nope, the nightmare ended when Hillary lost the election!

    2. fredesmite Bronze badge

      Re: To all my friends in UK

      Who are the cowards who thumbed down this ? The sooner that asshole is lynched for treason , the sooner Bernie can be POTUS

  28. Clunking Fist Bronze badge

    It is absolutely appalling that Trump has endorsed BoJo for the Tory leadership. It reminds me of the time Obama urged Brits to vote remain...

    1. VulcanV5

      Obama's backing of Remain's Project Fear was one of the greatest triumphs of The Leave campaign.

      Leave would never have won the June 2016 referendum if Cameron and Osborne had supported it.

      And now: Johnson has Trump's backing as Tory Party Leader and prospective Prime Minister. Be interesting (not) to see how that plays out.

      1. codejunky Silver badge

        @VulcanV5

        "Obama's backing of Remain's Project Fear was one of the greatest triumphs of The Leave campaign."

        It didnt help that he said 'queue' which set off the conspiracy theories, who were obviously derided as conspiracy theorists, and proved to be true that his speech had been 'edited' by the remain campaign.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Trump also wants a hard brexit so that he can make a deal. He's already said that any deal must include our acceptance of their food "standards" - "chlorinated chickens" etc. (US samonella deaths last year: 100 The UK: 0)

      A deal must also include opening up the NHS to US pharma. No wonder he endorses Boris.

      What's in it for Obama to urge us to remain?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Downvoting the truth? I suppose it's easier than shouting "fake news"

  29. Aussie Doc
    Facepalm

    Looks like somebody grassed them up.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    75th aniversary of D-Day

    I thought we had the leader of one of the worlds major economies visiting for the above?

    Seems to me, all those pontificating and being disrespectful should maybe STFU.

    1. VulcanV5

      Re: 75th aniversary of D-Day

      Go on then. Tell us.

      What exactly happened on June 4th 75 years ago?

    2. Louis Schreurs

      Re: 75th aniversary of D-Day

      .....and being disrespectful should maybe STFU.

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA &c.

  31. Twanky
    Pirate

    Bishop's Stortford Independent

    So, as they've named the guy he's now on a watch list and if he ever visits the USA he'll be searched by the large fingered customs officer?

  32. VulcanV5

    Terms of endearment?

    Bit baffling as to why The Register should be so dumb as to feed the deranged Trump's vanity by essaying the definitive article to nourish his own preening self-regard as America's absolutely definitive President.

    'The Donald' is a term of affection most suited to a pet duck or any heroic figure of well-nigh legendary status, neither of which Trump is nor could ever be, even if a resonance exists with the former: looks like a clown, talks like a clown, is a clown.

    Please: no more 'The Donald', huh? There's nothing endearing about this narcissistic moron nor his devaluation of the Office of President and of the USA itself.

  33. ava007

    Please tie him and and keep him there. I don't want President Sh*thole coming back here.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Really

    For a field that is alleged to be on the flight path or visible on approach, all the pictures I’ve seen appear to have been taken by a drone!

  35. binary
    Pint

    Please, keep Trump

    My dear fellow Brits.

    Thanks for entertaining the grafters.Can you please, please, keep them over there permanently? Thanks a bunch!

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