back to article Ikea hopes to spare shoppers the one-way Helvete of its stores with ÅR app overhaul

Furniture and meatball purveyor Ikea is launching a mobile app that will project what furniture should look like into punters' homes (if they follow the instructions correctly, of course) then allow them to buy it. The augmented reality app will be launched in France and the Netherlands followed by other top markets including …

  1. Efer Brick

    But will it stop me be ...

    being a DOMBÅS

    1. Mike N

      Re: But will it stop me be ...

      You're a small village in Norway?

  2. Chris G Silver badge

    Follow the instructions correctly

    A real man never reads the instructions before several things have gone wrong, then you curse at the idiot who did the drawings left-handed, upside down and backwards.

    But none of that explains the left over screws.

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      Re: Follow the instructions correctly

      Better too many than not enough screws.

      1. Alumoi

        Re: Follow the instructions correctly

        I so hope you're NOT talking about these: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Screw

        1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

          Re: Follow the instructions correctly

          I couldn't possibly comment.

      2. chivo243 Silver badge

        Re: Follow the instructions correctly

        and free screw drivers and little tiny weeny hex wrenches. There must be a dozen rattling around in one of my tool boxes. When Ikea folds, and people need those little wrenches,,, Profit!

        1. Rustbucket

          Re: Follow the instructions correctly

          When buying any read-to-assemble furniture item, except the very smallest, your first action should be to buy a properly sized hex screw driver or a hex bit for an electric drill/driver, and save the fiddly one that they give you for really tight spots.

          Those free ones will do your wrists in if you're doing a big project with them.

    2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      Re: who did the drawings left-handed, upside down and backwards...

      Are we sure that Ernő Rubik didn't do a stint writing instruction manuals for IKEA?

    3. fidodogbreath Silver badge

      Re: Follow the instructions correctly

      A real man never reads the instructions

      Nothing to read in an IKEA manual. Or, at least, no words; just enigmatic cave drawings to study, hoping to divine some meaning...

    4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Follow the instructions correctly

      "you curse at the idiot who did the drawings left-handed, upside down and backwards."

      I remember getting a phone call from brother-in-law many years ago. He'd bought an Ikea wardrobe and was having problems getting it assembled. I got there about 7pm and was gone 11pm by the time we got it all assembled (with a few spare screws, natch!). Now, I've always been a stickler for reading the instructions first. Even as a young kid, mam knew who to come to if something didn't seem right with any device that arrived with instructions. But those FSCKing Ikea instructions almost beat me! At one point we had the guide rails for the sliding doors almost fitted according to the pretty pictures then realised we had the top and bottom guide rails swapped over and that's why the bastards didn't fit.

      After that experience, I have NEVER bought Ikea products since then. (Apart from the fact it's so hard to find what you want in their warehouses and they force you to wander the entire floor area unless you are a paid up weekend warrior and know about the secret short-cuts.

      1. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

        Re: Follow the instructions correctly

        The instruction are idiot proof. Unless you are a special kind of master idiot.

        1. Rob Daglish

          Re: Follow the instructions correctly

          Obligatory Douglas Adams quote:

          A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

    5. Stork Silver badge

      Re: Follow the instructions correctly

      I have assembled more IKEA furniture than I care to think about, and having shopped IKEA in 5 countries.

      I do not recall ever having missed parts. That is impressive. Holes always line up.

      I have had very few problems with instructions, to me they are quite good.

      The stores have the same layout, it is very efficient shopping for me.

      To those who complain about IKEA: Try the alternatives!

      1. hitmouse

        Re: Follow the instructions correctly

        (From someone who has bought from them in France, Sweden, Spain, UK, USA, Australia)

        Not only have I had an abundance of mis-aligned holes, but I bought some bookshelves where the planks in a single box were in three different veneers.

    6. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

      Re: Follow the instructions correctly

      Read the instruction just because a few things have gone wrong?

      Who does that? That's just defeatism...

  3. anthonyhegedus Silver badge

    Billy Bookcase

    Will the app already take into account the large number of Billy Bookcases already present in people's homes?

    1. VonDutch

      Re: Billy Bookcase

      Probably uses your existing Billy Bookcase to calibrate the environment for the AR overlay

  4. NorthernCoder

    "The website has never been the easiest thing to use "

    Isn't that depending on where you are, i.e. which franchise taker you are surfing to?

  5. Bert 1
    FAIL

    I no longer use Ikea ...

    ... after an unfortunate incident involving a shopping trolley, a barrier, a revolving door and a staricase...

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      Re: I no longer use Ikea ...

      I expected something along the lines of:

      ...after going there once with the missus. And we're also separated ever since.

      Mind you, not my own experience. But I did observe some rather distressed couples/families there. Not a pleasant sight at all.

    2. chivo243 Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: I no longer use Ikea ...

      Simon? Stephen? Which one of you went shopping?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I no longer use Ikea ...

      You bought something?

      1. Bert 1
        Alert

        Re: I no longer use Ikea ...

        I tried...

        I had every intention of buying a shelving unit, so having picked up trolley in the car park, I ventured storewards.

        First there was the barrier to lift the trolley over. Level completed!

        Then there was a revolving door to negotiate. That was interesting, but ultimately defeated. There *may* have been a queue. Level completed!

        I gave up at the staircase though, and went home, abandoning the trolley in the foyer.

  6. Ochib Silver badge

    SCP-3008 is leaking

    The post is required, and must contain letters.

  7. Rich 11 Silver badge

    exit(1)

    Ikea is launching a mobile app that will project what furniture should look like into punters' homes

    Does it then force the punter to walk through every room in their house before being able to find an outside door?

    1. Korev Silver badge

      Re: exit(1)

      A few airports now do this after security with the duty free, it's bloody annoying.

    2. Casca

      Re: exit(1)

      Never been to an Ikea without shortcuts

  8. tiggity Silver badge

    Occasionally visit

    Enter via exit doors when someone leaves, wander to the food & drink area (not the takeaway hot dog etc kiosk) buy a few tasty things and leave, having avoided any furniture aisles. Shame they don't do food and drink only IKEAS (with wider range of consumables obv)

    To paraphrase a certain museum, an OK food shop with a shit furniture seller attached

  9. Teiwaz Silver badge
    Coat

    Inevitable Yakov Smirnoff (did I spell that rite? call 0800....)

    but says nothing about all those leftover screws

    In [Former] Soviet Russia, Screw You!!

  10. SVV Silver badge

    IKEA app

    You only get the source code : you have to build and install it yourself.

    1. fidodogbreath Silver badge

      Re: IKEA app

      LÏNUX?

      1. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

        Re: IKEA app

        "Ï" is not a Swedish letter.

        ÅÄÖ (åäö) are distinct letters, and the only ones with umlauts (and whatever that ring might be called).

        1. Ken Shabby Bronze badge
          Holmes

          Re: IKEA app

          Alternative to ring is the Czech kroužek, but now we are going into a diacritic rabbit hole because that thingy above the z thing can be known as a háček or haček...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I was lost in an Ikea store for 3 weeks and still have PTSD nightmares about it.

  12. 9Rune5
    Devil

    Flash..?

    I was on IKEA's website earlier, and was again reminded that their online configurators still require something called "Adobe Flash".

    I'd rather they fix their existing crap before augmenting their (or mine) reality.

  13. pavel.petrman Bronze badge

    Instructions

    Follow the instructions? You mean the booklet on manufacturer's opinion?

  14. Anguilla
    Happy

    HK$50,000 Ikea Winner.

    Loooong long ago, I was a winner of a Hong Kong $ 50,000 "cheque" to be spent on Ikea goods in their HK shops.

    I thought that I'd have to buy another HK flat to make use of all the stuff that I could acquire - but my SWMBO rustled up a number of friends who actually wanted some Ikea gear at a discount.

    I ordered their requirements - had it delivered to our abode - and these friends did the right thing, collected and paid ca$h for the discounted items.

    That was ~23 years ago, but now the only item we still have is a heavy table lamp - which seldom gets switched on, but have got rid of the obsolete incandescent bulb for a modern LED lamp & Dimmer.

  15. hitmouse

    Their inventory information is surprisingly hopeless - they should fix that first. I've checked their online availability of items before a 90 minute drive to their Toulouse store to purchase. I've arrived as one of the first customers of the day, and found that there was no stock, there had been no recent stock and they weren't expecting any for weeks. How would I know when they had stock? "Check the website". Bfff...

  16. regregular

    Hah.

    Leftover screws. As if. The missing screws are those that do you in...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Leftover Screws AKA Spare parts !!!

      If you do not have leftover screws you are not trying hard enough !!!

      The 'Pictogram' instructions are for 'guidance' only ;) :)

      Take it apart and try again !!!

      Structural Integrity is only 'slightly' impacted by the odd missing screw ........ honest !!! :)

      (Just make sure it is leaning against a wall before you leave !!!)

      <joke: for anyone who may have doubts :) >

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: Take it apart and try again !!!

        The problem with that advice is that, though IKEA may kindly provide a surfeit of screws, they do not provide any extra holes or plastic wood to resolve the issue of stripped threads.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Take it apart and try again !!!

          Ken Moorhouse,

          It is all a matter of perception.

          All Flatpack items are made of an infinite number of 'unused holes' filled with wood/plastic/plastic wood etc. :)

          These 'unused holes' are available via the use of a drill bit !!! ;) :)

          For those who may be reluctant to avail themselves of the 'unused holes' there is the fallback of 'Gorilla Glue / 'No more Nails' etc.

  17. ben kendim

    Never ever go into the rat's maze...

    This is how IKEA is meant to used:

    1- Find what you want online and get it's aisle / bin number.

    2- Park you vehicle in the pickup area.

    3- Enter, backwards, through the checkouts and into the warehouse.

    4- Get what you want.

    5- Pay for it.

    6- Leave.

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