back to article Apple stock hits bottom ... as AirPod exits man's backside and still works after colonic travels

A man in Taiwan swallowed one of his wireless Apple AirPods while he slept but succeeded in retrieving the wayward earpiece – and found it still worked after its dark passage through the human body. Last week, Ben Hsu dozed off and awoke to find one his AirPods had gone missing. Using his iPhone's Find My iPhone app, he …

  1. Shadow Systems Silver badge

    We always knew their stuff was shite...

    Did it improve the sound quality any, or was it still crappy?

    /Snark. =-)P

    1. fidodogbreath Silver badge

      Re: We always knew their stuff was shite...

      It has more bottom end now.

    2. Adam Jarvis

      Re: ebay auction...

      Gutted to be selling these, slighty soiled wireless Airpods for sale.

  2. DougS Silver badge

    How do you accidentally SWALLOW something?

    Did he go to bed without dinner or something?

    1. John H Woods

      Re: How do you accidentally SWALLOW something?

      Last time I went to bed hungry I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmellow and when I woke up I couldn't find my pillow. #dadjokes

      1. AndrueC Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: How do you accidentally SWALLOW something?

        The wrong joke :)

      2. Tigra 07 Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: John H Woods

        I prefer this version:

        Last night i had a dream i was eating the world's BIGGEST marshmallow...And when i woke up...I was being sexually abused!

        Frankie Boyle

      3. Ribfeast

        Re: How do you accidentally SWALLOW something?

        I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up I realized I'd crashed into a daycare :P

  3. Khaptain Silver badge

    "Recover the once-white earbud"

    Once something leaves the lower orifice, it should no longer goes back into any other...

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      Re: "Recover the once-white earbud"

      As much as I understand your comment, following your advice would be a rather limiting killjoy.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: "Recover the once-white earbud"

        I Am Not A Lawyer.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Recover the once-white earbud"

      I'd need a glove and there's no way the earbud would survive the bleaching I'd give it after it was in a public toilet.

      1. pavel.petrman

        Re: "Recover the once-white earbud"

        According to the article the earbud was not exposed to the environment of a public toilet as it was covered in protective, erm, foam.

      2. Amentheist
        Joke

        Re: "Recover the once-white earbud"

        That's not an acceptable way to refer to fanbois.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Recover the once-white earbud"

      "Once something leaves the lower orifice, it should no longer goes back into any other..."

      So not an ATM aficionado then?

  4. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    What sound did it play for him to find it? Some kind of bum note?

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      "Poop-Poop-a-Doop"

  5. jake Silver badge

    I find stories like this one ...

    ... rather hard to digest.

    But I guess it's true what they say about the Apple fad ... this too shall pass.

    1. XSV1

      ... this too shall pass.

      Without a doubt... the best comment so far!

  6. LenG

    Impressively robust

    ... but I doubt Apple will use this as a feature in their advertising.

    1. Kiwi Silver badge

      Re: Impressively robust

      Dunno...

      Most of their other ad campaigns have been pretty crap.

  7. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Did the medics prescribe...

    ...a course of Beethoven Symphonies?

    (All those movements should help things along).

  8. fidodogbreath Silver badge

    Find my AirPods

    Do they have a remote wipe feature? Or is that local only?

  9. MostlyGordon

    Should be OK, unless he consumed it with Beats;-)

  10. TRT Silver badge
  11. The Aussie Paradox
    Holmes

    Accelerate the process

    Would playing "The Brown Note" cause the process to accelerate?

  12. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Better than hearing voices in your head

    > after its dark passage through the human body.

    and possibly the first documented case of someone actually talking out of their arse.

    1. EVP

      Re: Better than hearing voices in your head

      > and possibly the first documented case of someone actually talking out of their arse.

      I spilled my coffee again when reading ElReg. I should stop, or at least buy a liquid resistant keyboard.

      I got this mental image now that it’s not a voice call coming out of the guy’s arse, but ‘William Tell: Overture’. I hope unexpected bursts of laughter won’t soil my reputation too much over the next few days.

  13. AndrueC Silver badge
    Joke

    You're definitely holding it wrong.

  14. Unoriginal Handle

    A suppository?

    In the Pedant's Corner...if it was a suppository then he'd have to have made some serious contortions to get the AirPod in...

    And on an unrelated note, and only to crowbar the joke in, I always thought "innuendo" were Italian suppositories until someone corrected me...

  15. ItsMeDammit
    Stop

    Photo or it didn't happen...

    Er, no - actually you're alright.

  16. adam payne Silver badge

    Hsu passed the device the following day while perched on a toilet at a railway station.

    After the laxative he probably peddle dashed it, I just hope he cleaned up after himself.

    1. 's water music Silver badge
      Gimp

      cleaning up

      The group of people who choose to retrieve and re-use the AirPod in this scenario correlate well with those who are not afraid to get stuck in and get their hands dirty

      probably has gloves too----->

  17. Simon Harris Silver badge

    Will this be recreated for the internet...

    Two girls, one AirPod?

  18. mildy bemused

    Answering the call of nature

    How did he answer his phone while the Airpod was in transit?

    1. dak

      Re: Answering the call of nature

      Obviously it would have been a trunk call.

  19. EVP

    A patent idea for Apple

    Apple Watch has this function to spit out any residue water from speaker cavity after being exposed to water. Perhaps Airpods should then have a similar feature to eject any residue after being exposed to... well, you know.

    But hey, if you dislike the fact that Airpods come in white only, you know how to turn your pair brown now!

    1. Kiwi Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: A patent idea for Apple

      Perhaps Airpods should then have a similar feature to eject any residue after being exposed to... well, you know.

      They already have that feature.

      I mean, given the ahem "quality" of much of what passes for "music" these days, and given the audio "quality" of most ear buds....

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sell them on eBay, slightly used :)

    Sell them on eBay, slight used (one a lot more so than the other )

    :)

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cables

    If ever we needed a demonstration that having a cable linking both ear pods together on headphones was a feature, and not a bug, I think this article proves it.

  22. Unicornpiss Silver badge
    Coat

    41% power

    Good thing they aren't solar powered. As we know, the sun never shines there.

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