back to article 'It's full of beer!' Miracle fridge reveals itself to pals tuckered out from cleaning flooded cabin

"I need a beer" is a phrase often uttered universally after a hard day's slog. But having cool, crisp refreshment fall into your lap as if by magic is something most of us can only dream of. Not so for two blokes who spent Sunday cleaning a mud-logged property in Nebraska. The US Midwest has been ravaged by record flooding, …

  1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge
    Terminator

    Any chance of an update on the Beer Delivery Robot?

    1. Anonymous Coward
  2. chivo243 Silver badge
    Pint

    Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

    Or they would have put real beer in the fridge...

    1. disgruntled yank Silver badge

      Re: Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

      I generally agree with you about Bud/Busch Lite. But after wading through high water and shoveling debris, I might relax my standards temporarily.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

        "The cans look intact... what do you reckon?"

        "Pass us a tin."

        *crck, ftzz*

        *glug, glug, glug*

        *Sputter! Cough! Choke. Gag. Retch.*

        "No. That's fine. Contents appear uncontaminated."

    2. FlossyThePig

      Re: Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

      I never put real beer in a fridge.

      1. the Jim bloke Silver badge

        Re: Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

        .. they didnt

    3. Mark 85 Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

      Desperate times require desperate measures and a lowering of standards. This was one of them.

    4. perlcat

      Re: Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

      It takes an epic level of douchebaggery to complain about free beer.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You have free beer and cider on tap? How do you get any work done?

    1. Alister Silver badge

      You have free beer and cider on tap?

      This goes some way to explain the prevalence of typos in headlines and articles.

      1. Excellentsword (Written by Reg staff)

        Saw that one coming, but we only ever indulge after 5pm. Editing isn't as easy you think.

        1. TRT Silver badge

          ..."we only ever indulge after 5pm"

          What time does your workday start, though?

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: ..."we only ever indulge after 5pm"

            Hey watch your language, there are journalists present

            - don't go using that particular 4 letter word around them

          2. KBeee

            Re: ..."we only ever indulge after 5pm"

            4:55 pm

          3. ShadowDragon8685

            Re: ..."we only ever indulge after 5pm"

            From the sound of things, quarter of five.

        2. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

          Beer and Cider is all well and good, but what about Caffine?

          Since we are all office workers and Caffine is basically a major requirement (Not helped when people put the normal coffee lid on the caffine free pot! Everyone normally on caffine going cold turkey with no caffine is almost as ugly as those now feeling like they are buzzing)

          1. Siberian Hamster

            <Evil Grin>

            What a wonderful idea for an experiment...

            As a non coffee/caffeine drinker I can tell when one or two of my colleagues who drink coffee caffeine levels drop dangerously low by the almost slurring of thought process. Swapping lids could be a good experiment in showing how much some of them depend on it on a daily basis.

            1. Joe W

              Re: <Evil Grin>

              Not a good idea. I went cold turkey once. I was up to three machines full of coffee per day, maybe more. Withdrawal is not fun, sweating, cold chills, trembling hands (actually more like a whole body tremor), headaches, really short tempered, mood swings,..

              1. Bronek Kozicki Silver badge

                Re: <Evil Grin>

                been through that. Actually, I add coffee cold turkey (for one day only!) to the jet lag, and the relief on the second day is good enough to kill the jet lag much faster than it would normally go.

              2. Fungus Bob Silver badge

                Re: <Evil Grin>

                "sweating, cold chills, trembling hands (actually more like a whole body tremor), headaches, really short tempered, mood swings"

                Been there,done that. Wasn't the worst Thursday night I ever had...

              3. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
                Devil

                Re: <Evil Grin>

                "not fun, sweating, cold chills, trembling hands (actually more like a whole body tremor), headaches, really short tempered, mood swings"

                Sounds just like my wife.

                1. Fungus Bob Silver badge
                  Trollface

                  Re: <Evil Grin>

                  Yeah, That's where I was on Thursday night...

              4. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

                Re: <Evil Grin>

                Withdrawal is not fun

                Sounds a *lot* worse than codeine withdrawal (a bit of insomnia, a gut that suddenly fully-mobile again and joint pain).

                I can go weeks without caffeine. But don't ask me to go for more than a day without tea..

                (Yes - I know it has caffeine-like substances in it but they have an effect more akin to the substances in chocolate. Which is why a mug of tea relaxes and refreshes rather than making you jittery..)

            2. Kane Silver badge
              Devil

              Re: <Evil Grin>

              "Swapping lids could be a good experiment in showing how much some of them depend on it on a daily basis."

              You bastard! You complete and utter bastard! There is no need for that! We KNOW how much we need it! There's no need to deprive us of our fix!

        3. RobThBay

          Beer only after 5PM.... in what timezone?? Would GMT+5 be a good guess?

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
            Joke

            "Beer only after 5PM.... in what timezone?? Would GMT+5 be a good guess?"

            G'n'T +5 would be a better guess!

            1. fiskrond

              G'n'T x5 is better

        4. Evil Auditor Silver badge
          Pint

          Editing isn't as easy you think

          No one said it's easy. But is it after 5pm already? Anyway, have one of those...

        5. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

          5pm local time?

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            5pm local time?

            5PM *somewhere*.

            (More accurately, 5pm anywhere)

        6. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

          AI Phantom Poll

          Can you imagine the copy for presentation from Officers Servering El Reg in an Amsterdam Shell Satellite Operation with Organised AI Organisations.

          They'd need to be very specific, with all due regard to current understandings and perceptions, whenever freely revealing needed New Knowledge for Future Fabulous Fabless Surreal AIdVenturing into clearly something which appears full completely unknown to y'all?

          Would you agree? Or do you know and can easily prove it to be somewhat different without any of the above booty and bounty?

        7. David 132 Silver badge

          Editing isn't as easy you think.

          I see what you did there.

        8. Ima Ballsy
          Holmes

          Welllllll ....

          As Jimmy Buffet would sing

          "It's FIVE O'CLOCK somewhere!!!"

        9. Alistair Silver badge
          Windows

          @excellentsword:

          I'll bet you had to edit that comment a couple of times after that cider ......

        10. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
          Pint

          Inquiring minds want to know...

          ...what's on tap there. With pics as part of a pre-pub warm up booze session.

    2. chivo243 Silver badge

      Better question, is how do I apply!

      1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
        Pint

        @chivo243 -

        Me too!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I think I've seen that film...

    > enlisted his mate Gayland Stouffer

    You can't make 'em up.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I think I've seen that film...

      That's right Stouffer, you help me!!!

    2. Kubla Cant Silver badge

      Re: I think I've seen that film...

      Gayland Stouffer

      There's a man who deserves a lucky break.

      1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: I think I've seen that film...

        With a name like that I bet he grew up tough enough to hand out a few (and to be useful in the cabin cleaning task)...

      2. ICPurvis47

        Re: I think I've seen that film...

        Where I worked back in the 70s, we had a draughtsman named Marshal Gaylard. He was also known as Captain Happyfat. There was also a Technical Writer called Barry Crick, who styled himself as Lord Barrington of Crick (Crick is a small village in Northamptonshire, about 5 miles from Rugby, just below where the M6 diverges from the M1). We also had a Ted Jones and a Tom Heath in the same office, at about the same time as Ted Heath was PM and Tom Jones was in the charts.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I think I've seen that film...

      It's the best one I've seen since it was revealed that Randy Bumgardener was the hospitality manager for the white house.

  5. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Cider on tap at work? How civilised.

    1. Huw D

      Depends on what sort of cider.

      1. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Old Scrotum's Slytherin Scrumpy

      2. Kane Silver badge

        "Depends on what sort of cider."

        Depends on what sort of tap!

  6. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Pint

    Since when...

    is 'Bud Lite' considered beer?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Since when...

      Bud lite is like making romantic love in a canoe, adrift in the middle of a deserted and moonlit lake. Fucking close to water and you don't want anyone else to see you doing it.

    2. DontFeedTheTrolls
      Trollface

      Re: Since when...

      It's well documented on the things Merkins consider great which the rest of the world refers to in hushed disparaging terms:

      Cheese v American Cheese

      Champagne v American Champagne

      Chicken v Chlorinated Chicken

      Good Cars v American Cars

      I leave the reader to add further examples.

      1. Eddy Ito Silver badge

        Re: Since when...

        Ahem! I believe what you're referring to is American cheese food. It's like those kreme filled donuts. We wouldn't want to run afoul of truth in labeling laws, now would we.

      2. Stoneshop Silver badge

        Re: Since when...

        American Cheese

        Which is not even the summit of Cheesy Horror. That is reserved for the variant in aerosol cans.

        Functionally equivalent to spray-on glue, which I expect to actually taste better.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Since when...

          At least Cheez Whiz is appropriately named.

      3. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
        Pirate

        Re: Since when...

        Football (American definition) vs Football (everyone else's definition)

      4. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: Since when...

        English v American English

    3. Evil Auditor Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Since when...

      International beer brewers' congress. After a day of meetings and stuff some of the guys meet at the local pub. The guy from Anheuser-Bush orders a Bud. The guy from Heineken orders, obviously, a Heineken. And the guy from Alken-Maes orders a coke. Noticing the puzzlement of the Anheuser and Heineken brewers, he answers "well, I thought since you ain't drinking beer I wouldn't neither."

      1. MJB7 Bronze badge
        Pint

        Re: Alken-Maes

        I hate to break this to you ... but it's actually owned by Heineken now. [Cries into his beer.]

        Icon: Well, what else?

        1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

          Re: Alken-Maes

          Darn! There goes Grimbergen. Oh well, never mind.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Since when...

        I didn't recognise the brewery name, but I correctly predicted the country of origin.

    4. Blofeld's Cat

      Re: Since when...

      "is 'Bud Lite' considered beer?"

      Good question. I'd always put it into the category of "liquids you rent for a while".

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: Since when...

        If that's all that's available then "yes, it's beer". I was in a place a long time ago where the question was "Is Carling Black Label" beer? Since is was the only beverage available, it was indeed beer but only until the real beers became available. You take what you can get.

    5. Version 1.0 Silver badge

      Re: Since when...

      Yes, it's beer - basically if you live in the US it's good because (being pretty close to water) you can drink a lot of it after a hot day in the fields or at work ... today if's about 75F outside in the South and we think of it as a nice cool day ... summer's coming.

      1. Spamfast Bronze badge

        Re: Since when...

        Yes, it's beer... you can drink a lot of it after a hot day...

        ... as we like to call it in the UK, shandy.

      2. Spamfast Bronze badge
        Coat

        Re: Since when...

        ... today if's about 75F outside in the South and we think of it as a nice cool day ...

        Perfectly good reason for you guys in the South to drink flavoured water I'll grant you. What's wrong with your countrymen up north though - they drink the same stuff sheltering in the lee of a bar in winter, don't they?

        (Sorry, I couldn't get that to work the right way around. Coat because ... well, you know!)

        1. Lieutenant Frost
          Pint

          Re: Since when...

          "What's wrong with your countrymen up north though - they drink the same stuff sheltering in the lee of a bar in winter, don't they?"

          In my neck of the woods, you'll often see beers like these showing up on the taps of local pubs during the colder months of the year.

          Though I will submit that almost any beer is good beer when it's free beer. I have found precious few exceptions to this rule.

      3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Since when...

        "Yes, it's beer - basically if you live in the US it's good because (being pretty close to water) you can drink a lot of it after a hot day in the fields or at work"

        Many years ago, everyone drunk beer instead of water because it was safer than the water, the brweing process effectively sterilising it, so it was generally pretty week beer. It was more a health and safety process than a "lets keep the entire population roaring drink" process. Then civilised countries invented water treatment plants and introduced standards for safe piped drinking water into people homes and the need for weak beer receded. One day, the US will cover over and protect their currently open drinking water reservoirs so various creatures are not shitting in it just before it reaches the tap and "Lite" beer will disappear except in those regions where it's "manly" to drink many "beers".

        1. Spamfast Bronze badge
          Headmaster

          Re: Since when...

          drunk drank

          week weak (right later, I notice!) ;-)

          open drinking water reservoirs ... so various creatures are not shitting in it The UK has vast open water reservoirs (Lake District, North Wales etc.). They don't just pipe it into people's homes - it's treated first to take out the twigs and bird poop. I'm pretty sure that's how they do it in North America too.

  7. Valerion
    Pint

    "He says, 'Hey, this is a refrigerator.' And he opens it up and says, 'It's full of beer.'"

    The divine care package of Busch Light and Bud Light

    Contradiction in terms.

  8. Spamfast Bronze badge
    IT Angle

    "My God! It's full of beers!" shouldn't that be?

    1. Blofeld's Cat
      Coat

      "My God! It's full of beers!""

      Ah, if only the contents had been a reassuringly expensive pilsner from a well-known Belgian brewer...

      1. Spamfast Bronze badge
        Pint

        Upvote - love Belgian beer.

        But actually, there's nothing wrong with Budweiser - as long as it's brewed in České Budějovice.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          "But actually, there's nothing wrong with Budweiser - as long as it's brewed in České Budějovice."

          It's probably illegal to import into the US as it might affect the sales of their own version. Most likely a copyright or trademark violation against the US licence holders.

          1. Spamfast Bronze badge

            It's probably illegal to import into the US as it might affect the sales of their own version. Most likely a copyright or trademark violation against the US licence holders.

            Long, long, long standing trademark dispute - see here.

  9. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Pint

    I'd think that a fridge full of Busch and Bud Lite would only compound the tragedy!

    And if I was the owner of said fridge, I would declare the contents a total loss for insurance purposes, and get something drinkable.

  10. don't you hate it when you lose your account
    IT Angle

    My faith in humanity is restored

    Nobody has questioned the IT angle

  11. Alister Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Indiana Jones had it right

    All you need to survive a nuclear explosion or natural disaster is your towel fridge.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He says, 'Hey, this is a refrigerator.'

    Just curious, but does it depend on where you are in the States as to whether you would call it a "refrigerator", "fridge" or "ice box".

    I always thought "fridge" was mostly a British English thing?

    1. OrneryRedGuy

      Re: He says, 'Hey, this is a refrigerator.'

      All are interchangeable around these parts, and while "ice box" is by far less common you're not likely to raise an eyebrow. I haven't noticed any regionalisms, such as with "soda" vs "pop". I haven't been watching for them either. Personally I suppose I'm mostly a "fridge" guy.

    2. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: He says, 'Hey, this is a refrigerator.'

      Icebox is something my deceased grandpa would have said, Fridge in casual conversation, refrigerator when you call the repairman ;-}

    3. Jonathan Richards 1

      Re: He says, 'Hey, this is a refrigerator.'

      Interesting question. IME in Britain "fridge" would be what one says normally, just to save the muscular effort of enunciating "refrigerator". Can you tell I'm not dictating this?

      The "icebox" is a separate part of many (but not all) electrical refrigerators, supplied with extra cooling coils so that one can keep stuff in there actually frozen.

      Damn. I wrote that last paragraph, and then found some more or less scholarly research.

  13. ukgnome Silver badge
    Pint

    Let this sink in

    Fortunately, we don't need to wait for a magic fridge – we have beer and cider on tap for free at our shared workspace, allowing us to mostly dodge the exorbitant London prices.

  14. sisk Silver badge

    Why am I not surprised to read that there's beer on tap in the El Reg office?

    Also, any ideas on convincing my boss to allow that here?

    1. Joe W
      Pint

      Something something agile disruptive something?

      1. GerryMC

        Ballmer Peak?

        https://xkcd.com/323/

  15. tony2heads
    Alien

    upgrade from stars

    did the fridge have dimensions in the ratio 1:4:9 and give rise to a magnetic anomaly?

  16. kraftdinner

    I'd rather swill the swamp water they were waling through...

  17. arctic_haze Silver badge

    The most stupid question

    The most stupid question under the original Tweet is "Was it still cold?".

    Just a reminder: this was Nebraska in march.

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