back to article Tim Apple. Larry Oracle. Ginni Layoffs: It works so why the heck not?

US prez Donald J Trump may not leave a wholesome legacy behind him, but one of POTUS's more useful innovations was showcased yesterday: the revival of the occupational surname. "We appreciate it very much, Tim Apple," Trump told Apple CEO Tim Cook as he sat alongside the Silicon Valley boss. Youtube Video The Donald was …

  1. chivo243 Silver badge
    Trollface

    Big Family

    Bill Microsoft, Steve Microsoft and Satya Microsoft!

    1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

      Re: Big Family

      Bill 640k, Steve Developers, Satya CloudFirst-MobileFirst

  2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    Donald Moron?

    NFT

    1. Peter X
      Mushroom

      Re: Donald Moron?

      Tim would've been at liberty to call Donald, Donald Orange.

      1. SolidSquid

        Re: Donald Moron?

        Donald Apprentice surely?

    2. MiguelC Silver badge

      Re: Donald Moron?

      In all fairness it's not an occupation, it's a hazard!

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: Donald Moron?

        You're right. He could also be called Bankrupt Donald, or Donald Draftdodger.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Donald Moron?

          Donaldamir Traitorvitch

    3. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge

      Re: Donald Moron?

      Donald Conman

    4. julianh72

      Re: Donald Moron?

      President Donald Yuuuugebullshitartist

      1. Ian Emery Silver badge

        Re: Donald Moron?

        Donald Cockwomble ??

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Erm.....

    "It's also consistent with cultures where surnames are derived from occupations, which is a very long list indeed in English."

    Trump.... Erm......

    1. Fortycoats

      Re: Erm.....

      Blowing his own trumpet?

      1. Peter X
        Trollface

        Re: Erm.....

        I think he pays people to do that.

    2. SVV Silver badge

      Re: Erm.....

      If his surname was derived from his occupation, then surely he'd be called Tim Expensive Tech Bauble Peddler?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Erm.....

      Donald Crapper

      Donald Lardner

      or what about

      Donald Letcher?

    4. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Erm.....

      Sometimes all the BS being shoveled out of DC any politician should have the surname: "Bullshit-Shoveler". So, Trump, CongressCritters, and all State and local elected officials. Rather large family we have there....

  4. andy 103
    Facepalm

    It's all relative

    Yeah, but we have to remember that this penis, George W President, was also in charge of the most powerful country on earth not long before Trump:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bushism#Examples

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internets

    How quickly we forget.

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: It's all relative

      Reagan was also not blessed with the best of brains, just good speechwriters. In fact, if you look at the history of US presidents, you'll see that the election process has a lot of similarities with county fairs. Trump is different largely through his attempts to assert the primacy of the executive over the other branches. But he's hardly the first to try and do this, it's just the give of modern media that we get to see him in action so much.

      1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

        Re: It's all relative

        Reagan was also not blessed with the best of brains, just good speechwriters.

        I've seen the suggestion that the Reagan administration was a perfect example of Minsky's Society of Mind, in that a lot of relatively mindless agents with different agendas pulled in different directions but overall it ended up looking like a coherent system with a single purpose.

        1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

          Re: It's all relative

          I've seen the suggestion that the Reagan administration was a perfect example of Minsky's Society of Mind, in that a lot of relatively mindless agents with different agendas pulled in different directions

          Also not supported by the historical evidence. Reagan did not always get the pick of the litter for his cabinet and advisors, and his own faculties were increasingly compromised (see my other post), but "relatively mindless agents" is wildly inaccurate.

          It's worth noting that even Trump's chaotic selection of incompetents, unsuitables, and cads for various Federal posts - the worst rogues' gallery we've seen in many decades at this level of US Federal government - has not led to a collection of "mindless agents". Don't confuse evil with stupid.

      2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: It's all relative

        I'm no fan of Reagan, but we know from the extensive private notes he generated as Governor of California that he was a dedicated policy wonk who was very well-informed, intelligent, and perceptive. His imagination and quick thinking are also well-documented from his earlier careers, such as his time as a radio sports announcer when (like some other announcers of the era) he would sit in a room reading a ticker-tape of game events and invent in real time all the "color" details.

        It seems likely that by the time he was elected President his mental faculties were significantly diminished, and arguably eight years later they were dangerously compromised. But he was far more of an intellectual than W or Trump. To regard him as a mere spokesman reciting others' words is not supported by the historical evidence.

  5. tempemeaty
    Facepalm

    Do the corporate Boards and CEOS want to...

    ...manufacture anything in America anymore?

    NO amount of making conditions favorable for it in the US is going to get any results if they don't want to do it. Even worse, IMHO, they are more likely to lay off every American citizen they can to pressure America's citizens to put one of their more liberal Blue Bloods back in office...even if it crashes everything in the process.

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: Do the corporate Boards and CEOS want to...

      News just in (in 2000): more jobs in the US have been lost to automation than to outsourcing. The only way to reverse that is to get rid of the machines.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Do the corporate Boards and CEOS want to...

        Uhhh, no. People have been losing their jobs to machines since the start of the industrial revolution. In the past the workforce shifted into new roles that were created by the new ways of business. Getting rid of machines would make the US manufacturing sector less efficient than other countries, and leave the whole sector reliant on trade barriers to stop it being outcompeted by foreign rivals - that's not a path that ends well for the US.

        What the US workforce needs is for economic activity and the jobs that go with it to be kept on US soil; this probably doesn't mean manufacturing jobs, but more service jobs and R+D roles. Unfortunately these are the very jobs that are increasingly being outsourced and offshored. And yes Ginni, I'm looking at you.

      2. Alistair Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Do the corporate Boards and CEOS want to...

        @Charlie:

        either you forgot the /sarc tag or you're huddled in the back room of the white house.

    2. JohnFen Silver badge

      Re: Do the corporate Boards and CEOS want to...

      The US is manufacturing more than ever before, and has been for years. The shift isn't away from manufacturing, it's in what's being manufactured. We don't really make consumer items anymore. Instead, we make big-ticket stuff like industrial machinery, supercomputers, etc.

  6. MiguelC Silver badge
    Coat

    A bit off-topic but...

    On that list of surnames, I was shocked to discover that Norris means "wet nurse".

    Chuck Wet Nurse doesn't seem have the same punch, does it?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A bit off-topic but...

      "Chuck Wet Nurse doesn't seem have the same punch, does it?"

      Are you going to tell him, or shall I?

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: A bit off-topic but...

        "Are you going to tell him, or shall I?"

        You tell him, but wait till my flight has already left!

    2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: A bit off-topic but...

      Oh, I don't know. There's a certain "boy named Sue" effect there. And surely bad guys will be reluctant to have "viciously beaten by Wet Nurse" on their records.

      Reminds me that the University of Nebraska football team, currently known as the "Cornhuskers", used to be known as the "Bug-eaters". I don't think the name change was an improvement. Surely opposing teams would feel even more embarrassed by losing to a bunch of bug-eaters.

  7. Rich 11 Silver badge

    the revival of the occupational surname

    "We appreciate it very much, Tim Apple"

    "You're welcome, Donald Racist Pussy-Grabber Crook Traitor."

  8. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
    Megaphone

    Hewlett and Packard

    From the article "or Dave Hewlett and Bill Packard of HP"

    Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard, surely. Obviously now to be known as Bill HP (not-the-sauce) and Dave HP (not-the-sauce) anyway.

  9. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    When people call Linus Linux he can tell them that's his surname.

  10. Cubical Drone

    Doesn't go quite far enough.

    Politicians should have to abide by the same practice, taking the name of their largest corporate donor or influence as their last name. (Donald Fox, or maybe Donald Putin).

    1. JohnFen Silver badge

      Re: Doesn't go quite far enough.

      I love this idea. Unlike the one to require politicians to plaster themselves with the logos of their corporate sponsors like race drivers do, this would actually be practical.

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: Doesn't go quite far enough.

        Hmm... corporate logos on an expensive suit and tie. And maybe a nice racing strip down the back? White for "skunks", "yellow" for the back peddlers who never take a stand, and "green" for the environmental types?

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Doesn't go quite far enough.

          ""yellow" for the back peddlers who never take a stand"

          That wouldn't be down their backs, though ... that would be in their shorts.

  11. chivo243 Silver badge

    In the business world

    Higher ups do this all the time... Conveniently forgetting your name, even though you've worked together for 10 years, even played tennis on occasion.

  12. wvc

    Jennifer Government

    To see a world where everyone has these last names, check out the novel Jennifer Government, by Max Barry.

    1. cosmogoblin

      Re: Jennifer Government

      Jennifer Government, by Max Barry Novelist

      ftfy

    2. NorthernCoder
      Black Helicopters

      Re: Jennifer Government

      Is that you, John Nike?

  13. ukgnome Silver badge

    It's obvious that Trump has stolen this from Richard Herring, but the silly cheeto gammon doesn't understand this only works with Ian's

    1. jake Silver badge

      Unfinished sentence ...

      "this only works with Ian's"

      Only works with Ian's what? I'm on tenterhooks ...

    2. upsidedowncreature

      Don't bother Richard Herring today, it's International Women's Day, his busiest day of the year. 19th November, by the way.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        But but but, how come there's no international man's day? The world's being taken over.

        ;)

  14. Nameless Dread
    Thumb Up

    Thumbs up for the classical reference. elReg authors are not all unliterate, as it were.

  15. Doctor Evil

    Doesn't always work, though

    Richard Virgin?

    (Ironically, perhaps?)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Doesn't always work, though

      >>Richard Virgin?

      Dick Virgin Shurely

  16. jake Silver badge

    Yet another clinical sign of ...

    ... senility.

    AlI can say is that I hope he manages to maintain for another year and a half or so. Why? I'm glad you asked ... Because he's essentially powerless at the moment, and the alternative is that whack-job Pence.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yet another clinical sign of ...

      Lets Welcome Pastor St Michael Pence ecumenical leader of the Christian republic of America

      I'm quite surprised that the GOP hasn't yet changed their name to the "Christian Party" yet, though the phobia of the courts striking that down is probably the only reason they haven't.......yet....

  17. rbarrie

    Maybe Trump reads scifi?

    In his 1956/57 tale "The Stars My Destination", Alfred Bester wholly embraced conflating corporation names with their ship master. The UK side of the pond may know the tale better as "Tiger! Tiger!" Poor Alfred, how was he to know 60+ years ago that Roebuck wouldn't make it to the 24th Century? Will Apple?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Maybe Trump reads scifi?

      Required reading for my wife's MLitt sci fi course

      Along with

      Algebraist

      Red Mars (which elicited the mutterings "hire a fooking editor" "two page paragraph, are you shitting me?" yeah she wasn't a fan of the book)

      Starship Troopers

      and about 20 others...

      including one I forget the name of that has numerous races of man including one with a giant brain...

  18. Marty McFly
    Mushroom

    The Reg gets premature.....

    ....Talking about Trump's "legacy". If all goes well, he has another full term ahead before even thinking about his Presidential legacy.

    1. DougS Silver badge

      Re: The Reg gets premature.....

      His legacy will hopefully be the first former president to die in prison, after he's found guilty of numerous felonies in the state of New York.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The Reg gets premature.....

        OR be found guilty of espionage and sentenced to the same fate as the Rosenbergs, after somehow either the republicans wash their hands of him (seriously what does have on them thats stopped them chucking him under a bus and replacing him with Pence - someone who is still aligned to their values but far less "gaffe prone", its got to be something serious for McConnell to be so spineless of late) or the democrats secure several presidencies in a row and deny him a pardon.....

        I'm anti death penalty but I'd make an exception for him (and a very limited cabal of others)

        "I am not on Trial, its all fake netrsaxdf" (as the court bailiff on judge's orders forcibly removes his phone after he ignores several warnings from the bench)

        Or removed from the court room after doing a Mohammed Morsi "I am the President, this court has no authority over me, this is a witchunt and a coup"

  19. KR Caddis

    You mean Precedent Dickhead will suit?

    You mean Precedent Dickhead will suit? repeating myself needlessly so it will post

  20. MJI Silver badge

    Tim Apple?

    Surely it is Paul Dogshome.

  21. A. Coatsworth

    Move over, Rothschild!

    The Layoff family not only controls IBM, it is in charge of most, if not all, big companies, right now. Just look what the brothers did to the different pieces of HP!

  22. Geoffrey W Silver badge

    You still need to remember the first name, which can be problematic, so let's just call Tim Mr Apple, and Marylin Ms Lockheed, and Donald Mr USA...or...hmmm...Mr Trump when he's no longer President.

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