back to article No yoke: 'Bored' Aussie test pilot passes time in the cockpit by drawing massive knobs in the air

An Australian pilot has earned his coveted Register wings by telling the world how boring flying can be through the medium of flight trackers. According to Adelaide publication The Advertiser, the pilot had been tasked with running in a new engine for a single-engined aircraft to be used for instructional duties. The job …

  1. DJV Silver badge

    I salute him...

    ...for having the balls to do it in the first place!

    1. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge

      Re: I salute him...

      Stop jerking around and get the job done, ok?

      1. 0laf Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: I salute him...

        I too wish to salute the skill and daring of this intrepid pilot who single handedly has taken the schoolboy dong drawing tradition to new levels

        1. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: I salute him...

          Look ma, NO HANDS!

  2. Muckminded

    Sounds scary, having a pilot dicking around in the cockpit.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      He didn't touch the flaps though.

  3. The First Dave

    That is unbelievably consistant lettering - so much so that I call Bullshit on the whole thing.

    1. DJV Silver badge

      You sure you don't mean "ballshit"?

    2. usbac

      It's a modern aircraft. He probably had a modern EFIS with the ability to plot his track over ground. It wouldn't be all that hard for a very good pilot to do this. Someone with "Test Pilot" in their title is usually an extremely good pilot!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        A good pilot would have drawn a big veiny one.

        1. chivo243 Silver badge
          Coat

          Not sure if "good" is the word we're looking for...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        It wouldn't be all that hard for a very good pilot to do this. Someone with "Test Pilot" in their title is usually an extremely good pilot!

        If the Aussies employ pilots of this calibre (noting in particular the very finely defined E) to run in an exchange engine on a trainer, then I'm over-awed at the surplus of talent available to them. Even allowing the low res map, that's going to involve either very tight flat turns, or pulling a loop.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          The letters are a lot bigger than they may look. Takes about 20 minutes to do each of them.

          Yeah the tight turns are tight, but not as much as it looks. If he really did have to maintain a constant RPM all the time (which I doubt), then those would be 2G turns. I do not recall the DA-40 being certified for any kind of aerobatic flight, so that's the only option I can think of. In reality, the wide arcs on B, O, R and D are much more difficult to fly as those are not turn radii that we commonly use.

    3. Mayday Silver badge
      Boffin

      Using his tools

      Such as Ozrunways, AvPlan or even the VNAV mode on his G1000/AP would make this easy.

      The latter you could literally dial it all into the system (with custom waypoints etc) and press a button and it will do it for you. Probably take longer to configure than the flight itself but who cares.

  4. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    May one comment on the The Registers insistence on publishing facile and peurile items like this and the infantile fascination with toilet humour

    KEEP DOING IT!!!!!

    1. Version 1.0 Silver badge
      Pint

      KEEP DOING IT!!!!!

      100% approval - it's so much healthier than reading about politics these days.

    2. DeKrow
      Coat

      Fixed that for you

      KEEP DONG IT!!!!!!

  5. arctic_haze Silver badge

    They would not be doing it if no one got offended. Why aren't they drawing flowers or houses? Because no one would care.

  6. Mark 85 Silver badge
    Pint

    Here's to the intrepid aviator... a toast for a job well done.

  7. defiler Silver badge

    Like my Surface Pro 3

    About the best use I've found for the pen is drawing cocks onto screenshots before sending them to people...

  8. chivo243 Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    We can't leave fashion off the list!

    pantheon of brave educators...

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6573797/Australian-news-reader-mocked-viewers-spot-neckline-looks-like-male-genitals.html

    Paris...

  9. Adam 1 Silver badge

    > the pilot also drew what the Aussie publication described with unfamiliar restraint as "some intriguing, somewhat phallic symbols"

    Just wait until NT News picks it up.

    /Popcorn time

  10. TaabuTheCat

    There's a bunch of these on FlightAware...

    Here's a fun one: https://flightaware.com/live/flight/DEFHN/history/20160312/1236Z

    Search around - there are a lot more, some of them are really impressive.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: There's a bunch of these on FlightAware...

      Good catch!

    2. DropBear Silver badge

      Re: There's a bunch of these on FlightAware...

      My first reaction was "the real reason this exists is because there's a commonly used aviation tool somewhere that facilitates creation of waypoints in a drawing-like fashion - people are simply using it because it's there!". If this is a common thing, I'm even more convinced that I'm not wrong...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Correction: not a test pilot

    As the Orzie newspaper says, the gentleman is not a test pilot but a flying instructor "breaking in" the new / overhauled engine.

    It is actually a nice mix of instrument and visual flight. He dialled in a radial back to Adelaide VOR to use as his baseline and then drew the letters visually. As someone else pointed out above, the aircraft (a DA-40) is equipped with a glass cockpit so you can basically see your GPS track. Still, an impressive bit of work and needs quite some concentration not to fuck up.

    By my reckoning, the letters are about 20 NM long, so it would have taken him about two and a half hours to write the whole sentence.

    Some people update their mood on Farcebook, others have other ways of expressing themselves. I hope his boss appreciates the free publicity, cause he would have never been able to afford a campaign like this.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Correction: not a test pilot

      GPS?

      Global Phallusing System?

  12. Toni the terrible

    Jobsworth

    So did he keep his Job?

  13. Trixr Bronze badge

    I admire the skill and the amusement factor.

    Funnily enough, though, while I have very little time for wank on "gender differences" (other than purely physical averages), this drawing cock-and-balls thing is really the most significant gender difference that I can think of. I've never seen a women draw random vaginas as grafitti. (Ok, there's the almost-always-appalling "yoni" art, but that's not random grafitti.)

    1. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

      In the people I personnally know, "penis drawers" are roughly equally distributed between all genders. Mostly because the shapes involved are simple, distinctive, easily drawn with only connected lines, and the conveyed sillyness is immediately perceived by the viewer.

      Note that the "symbol" is almost always drawn erect and "upwards", because sideways it woud be an antique gun on wheels, °I° is just a face, and a shrivelled penis is as difficult to render as a vulva - i.e. too much effort. The female equivalent would be (.Y.) , which is again used equally by all genders but VERY difficult to render with connected lines.

      Don't assume gender bias until you have ruled out gratuitous silliness and laziness.

  14. hatti

    Like a high altitude etch-a-sketch

    1. pstiles

      etch-a-sketch?

      As long as the PHB doesn't decide to shake it to clear the screen we're ok. (grabs hold of arms on chair just in case...)

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