back to article WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed

Shortages at hipster hangout WeWork have left its occupants without their afternoon brews after an "ongoing UK/Ireland-wide mug deficit" was announced. A coffee pot used to brew tea Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination? READ MORE The workspace outfit, which has proliferated all over the show since it kicked off in …

  1. chivo243 Silver badge
    Trollface

    Your Mom doesn't work here

    Clean up after yourselves! Damn kids anyway.

    1. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

      Re: Your Mom doesn't work here

      I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say that this is civil disobedience in retaliation to the militant vegetablism

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Your Mom doesn't work here

        So, no M&S love sausage?

    2. MonkeyCee Silver badge

      Re: Your Mom doesn't work here

      Best solution I encountered for the lack of responsibility with cleaning dishes was to make it a managerial responsibility. As in, the manager goes and cleans it up after break and lunch.

      Turns out people actually clean their shit up if they know someone senior might have to decrustify their mug.

      1. Ledswinger Silver badge

        Re: Your Mom doesn't work here

        Turns out people actually clean their shit up if they know someone senior might have to decrustify their mug.

        Speak for yourself, sir. If I knew my bosses were on mug duty, I'd be regularly crimping off a length of brown cable into my coffee mug as soon as I'd had my caffeine fix.

  2. Alister Silver badge

    Critical Mass?

    Surely there is a critical mass of abandoned coffee mugs per desk beyond which it isn't safe to go without serious consequences. In the average cubicle, can you safely accumulate more than about ten empty mugs before causing a tear in the space-time continuum?

    1. MaltaMaggot

      Re: Critical Mass?

      the Space-Tea continuum...?

      1. Jimmy2Cows

        Re: Critical Mass?

        Space-Time Coffee-tin-uum

        1. Marketing Hack Silver badge

          Re: Critical Mass?

          I'm not a coffee drinker, and tea is fine occasionally, but I do worry about a disruption in the cocoa-tinuum.

          1. Mike Moyle Silver badge

            Re: Critical Mass?

            It's terrible if there's a break in the cocoa-tinuum --the powder spills out all over the counter.

  3. revenant

    "..as a friendly reminder, please reuse your mugs.."

    In my experience, the sort of person who leaves their mess in communal areas for others to clean up does not respond at all to wimpy pleas to be decent. I suggest firmer language involving, say, kneecaps.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: "..as a friendly reminder, please reuse your mugs.."

      Maybe "Name and Shame" them by putting the mugshots up

      1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

        Re: "..as a friendly reminder, please reuse your mugs.."

        What's needed is an office linebacker.

        1. Sir Awesome

          Re: "..as a friendly reminder, please reuse your mugs.."

          I take great pleasure in introducing people to "Terrible" Terry Tate - those were the good old days!

      2. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
        Black Helicopters

        Re: "..as a friendly reminder, please reuse your mugs.."

        Place a video camera, looking down on the coffee area. Sign optional, as is actually doing anything with the output of the video camera.

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: "..as a friendly reminder, please reuse your mugs.."

          Ah. The webcam birthing reimagined. I like it!

    2. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: "..as a friendly reminder, please reuse your mugs.."

      Ah, a follower of the Tanya Harding school of persuasion!

      1. Symon Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: "..as a friendly reminder, please reuse your mugs.."

        Tonya.

  4. Locky Silver badge

    The next BOFH will feature this

    and will include a PFY rampage, with props involving a roll of carpet, quick lime and a cattle prod

  5. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Vegetarian?

    I expect the quality of journalism to decline if they're not fed red meat on a regular basis.

    1. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

      Re: Vegetarian?

      Bloody hippies.

    2. BebopWeBop Silver badge

      Re: Vegetarian?

      I don't know - a peckish Vegan in search of their next nut might be a dangerous reporter

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Vegetarian?

        Then they need only look in a mirror.

    3. Gordon 10 Silver badge
      Flame

      Re: Vegetarian?

      BE AFRAID EL REG

      Their Vegan Fascism extends to controlling what food vans park next to the office here in WeWork Paddington. Meat Wagons strictly Verboten!

      Needless to say once thriving van spots now have tumbleweeds rolling around them. Fortunately most of them only decamped as far as Paddington Basin. Visa's and Voda's gain.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Vegetarian?

        I know a great vegan recipe for tumbleweed salad...

  6. Matt Collins

    Withnail will do it

    Withnail:

    Right you fucker - I'm going to do the washing up!

    I:

    No no you can't. It's impossible I swear it. I've looked into it.

    Listen to me, listen to me. There are things in there, there's a

    tea-bag growing. You haven't slept in sixty hours you're in no state

    to tackle it. Wait 'till the morning we'll go in together.

    Withnail:

    This is the morning. Stand aside!

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Withnail will do it

      Well there's your answer then. Use a bowl.

  7. Steve Button

    Bloody Vegans

    A bit like religious types, I tend to leave them alone. I just wish they would do the same to me.

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Bloody Vegans

      I tried a vegan diet once. Bit stringy and not much meat on their bones. Pretty easy to hunt down though.

      1. chivo243 Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Bloody Vegans

        Ever had a Vegan Clown? Not so stringy but tastes funny...

      2. commonsense

        Re: Bloody Vegans

        Very easy to hunt down in fact, given they all seem to advertise the fact to everybody every 5 minutes.

        1. Korev Silver badge
          Gimp

          Re: Bloody Vegans

          There's someone at my work who is a vegan and does Crossfit - tedious doesn't even begin to describe him!

          1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

            Re: Bloody Vegans

            Crossfit - where the reps don't count and form doesn't matter.

        2. WereWoof

          Re: Bloody Vegans

          Q: How do you know if somene is a Vegan?

          A: They tell you!

          Q: Why did the Vegan cross the road?

          A: To tell them they are a Vegan!

    2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: Bloody Vegans

      Can I just point out that title's an oxymoron?

      1. 10forcash

        Re: Bloody Vegans

        Unless you use a locking snare.... in which case they will be very bloody until their (probably withered) heart gives out and the blood clots around the brass wire - fun fact: brass wire is sold in hardware stores in Sweden but not in Norway, very difficult to get hold of in an emergency!

        1. ThatOne Silver badge
          Paris Hilton

          Re: Bloody Vegans

          Why brass?

          (Genuine question)

          1. 10forcash

            Re: Bloody Vegans

            Brass because it deforms easily to make the snare in the first place, not quite as easily as copper but the tensile strength is higher so less chance of the prey breaking free (whick, in UK at least, would make it an illegal snare if it could break away from it's tether and remain around the animal) also, it doesn't become brittle like steel wire. Locking snares are illegal in UK but are still used as they (can) prevent distress to the prey if the snares are not checked daily or if they are visited by other predators before they are checked & cleared. The locking part of the snare requires a wire that will deform easily so steel is out, as is copper for Hare, Fox etc.

            I have seen snares used for Elk in some Scandanavian areas, not very common but can be more productive than tracking and shooting in winter. For Elk you absolutely would have to use a locking snare as they can be nasty bastards when caught....

  8. DailyLlama

    Where

    Can we get one of those red mugs?

    1. Martin Summers Silver badge

      Re: Where

      If they knew that there wouldn't have been an article!

  9. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
    Holmes

    And this..

    Is why I have a faded pacman mug, usually crusty enough enough to need the coating chipped off.

    Tends to mean it stays where I put it (in 4 years I've not had it borrowed yet).

    Now tea spoons... That's a different matter. The office buys them in bulk and give it 6 months and they've all migrated (there's also usually a couple of tea spoons of some style not used in the building leaving me to think they migrate).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: And this..

      The case of the disappearing teaspoons: https://www.bmj.com/content/331/7531/1498

      1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

        Re: And this..

        I won a box load of The Flash mugs and travel mugs in a facebook competition. The comp said I could claim between 18 and 36. I claimed all 36. Kept the department happy.

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Go

          Re: And this..

          You're not greedy, you just like a lot.

          1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

            Re: And this..

            It's a big department.

      2. Down not across
        Thumb Up

        Re: And this..

        I love it. A very important study.

        If we assume that the annual rate of teaspoon loss per employee can be applied to the entire workforce of the city of Melbourne (about 2.5 million), an estimated 18 million teaspoons are going missing in Melbourne each year. Laid end to end, these lost teaspoons would cover over 2700 km—the length of the entire coastline of Mozambique1—and weigh over 360 metric tons—the approximate weight of four adult blue whales.2

        That is quite staggering.

  10. chivo243 Silver badge
    Angel

    OCD Office - Always Clean!

    I work in an office with a few OCD guys. I'm not OCD, but I like a clean office, desk and house. I have one hot beverage mug, it stays on my desk, and gets cleaned daily. How hard is it?

    1. Not an Anonymous Coward

      Re: OCD Office - Always Clean!

      How hard is it?

      It depends on how many of your colleagues still live with their Mum.

    2. Ken 16 Silver badge

      Re: OCD Office - Always Clean!

      Which side of your desk does it stay on?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: OCD Office - Always Clean!

        The dark side.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Playmobil or it didn't happen

    I mean, there are standards to maintain.

  12. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge
    Holmes

    Elementary

    Isnt this the same place that stopped them drinking gin all day recently?

    This explains the sudden rush on mugs.

  13. Len Silver badge
    Coat

    You guys had mugs?

    I'm a time traveller from post-Brexit autumn. You guys will never have it so good.

    We are now just holding our cupped hands underneath the coffee machine to collect the water, coffee beans ran out in May.

    1. Len Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: You guys had mugs?

      I'm a time traveller from spring 2020. You guys have water coming out of the coffee maker?

      You don't know how lucky you were. We now collect rain water in old shoes placed on the roof terrace!

      1. Len Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: You guys had mugs?

        I'm a time traveller from autumn 2020. You guys had a roof?

        You don't know how lucky you were. We now sleep under roll-up banners from blockchain conferences and eat mouldy energy bars found in old swag bags.

        1. STOP_FORTH
          Windows

          You guys had shoes?

          Winter 2020 here.

          We ate our shoes. (Except the leather ones - not Vegan!)

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: You guys had mugs?

      I'm another time traveller just arrived from 1978 and I can see that nothing has changed, at least as far as vox pops go.

      What's a coffee machine by the way, is it that thing which makes a cup of Mellow Birds?

      1. chivo243 Silver badge
        Angel

        Re: You guys had mugs?

        What a coincidence, I'm also a time traveler from 1976, and I see Steve Miller's song Fly like an Eagle is still pertinent.

        Lyrics

        Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'

        Into the future

        Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'

        Into the future

        I wanna fly like an eagle

        To the sea

        Fly like an eagle

        Let my spirit carry me

        I want to fly like an eagle

        'Till I'm free

        Oh, Lord, through the revolution

        Feed the babies

        Who don't have enough to eat

        Shoe the children

        With no shoes on their feet

        House the people

        Livin' in the street

        Oh, oh, there's a solution

        I want to fly like an eagle

        To the sea

        Fly like an eagle

        Let my spirit carry me

        I want to fly like an eagle

        'Till I'm free

        Fly through the revolution

        Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'

        Into the future

        Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'

        Into the future

        Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'

        Into the future

        Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'

        Into the future

        I want to fly like an eagle

        To the sea

        Fly like an eagle

        Let my spirit carry me

        I want to fly like an eagle

        'Till I'm free

        Fly through the revolution

        Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'

        Into the future

        Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'

        Into the future

        1. Will Godfrey Silver badge

          Re: You guys had mugs?

          Lots of fellow time travelers around lately. I'm from 1949. We've heard of coffee, but nobody this side of the Thames has ever seen or tasted it.

          1. David 132 Silver badge

            Re: You guys had mugs?

            Time traveller from 1643 here.

            What Ys thys infernal thynge before me ande whyfore doest it shine lyken unto thee Sunne?

            1. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge
              WTF?

              Re: You guys had mugs?

              Tempus viator ex consulatum Augusti hic.

              Quid est hoc novis linguis loqui tibi?

  14. Alistair Silver badge
    Windows

    Perhaps a corporate rebranding is in order

    Accompanied by whalesong and joss stick flaunting vegetarian baristas dressed in non-offensive gucci sweaters

    We Work will now be called Wee Work(house)

    1. Long John Brass Silver badge

      Re: Perhaps a corporate rebranding is in order

      Collect the joss sticks, cook the vegan barista... BBQ is served!

  15. Velv Silver badge
    Joke

    Don't worry dishes...

    ... nobodies doing me either :(

    1. David 132 Silver badge

      Re: Don't worry dishes...

      For some reason I read that in the voice of Neil from The Young Ones.

  16. Ryan Kendall

    Good Offices

    I go there a couple of times a year as my employers have a couple of rooms there.

    Cups didn't appear to be an issue on my floor. :-)

  17. Just An Engineer
    Facepalm

    Pot Plants?

    " artfully lit and adorned with pot plants, brick walls,"

    Having this benefit alone would make not having Mugs agreeable.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Pot Plants?

      Pot plants, brick walls, Apple users, no Windows.

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Pot Plants?

      Pot plants? or potted plants? There's a difference in that one is smokable, the other not so much.

  18. A. Coatsworth
    Joke

    glazed, artfully lit and adorned with pot plants, brick walls, and coffee table books

    That is NOT how I imagined Vulture Central... in my mind it was more along the lines of damp cellar, naked light bulb hanging from wire, dartboard with photo of TIm Cook in the wall, semi cannibalized remains of old computers in the corner...

    What? I honestly thought BOFH was a documentary, don't judge me!

    1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Coat

      Just change The Painted Name On The Wall

      & the image is complete.

      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c7/Callan_title.jpg/250px-Callan_title.jpg

    2. MonkeyCee Silver badge

      To be fair....

      " in my mind it was more along the lines of damp cellar, naked light bulb hanging from wire, dartboard with photo of TIm Cook in the wall, semi cannibalized remains of old computers in the corner.."

      I've worked at the same university that Simon did, albeit after his time.

      That's a pretty accurate description of the appearance of some of the IT rooms. Other than the smell, which was quite distinct for some of them...

  19. Snorlax Silver badge

    Check everybody's drawers!

    On starting a new job about a decade ago, I opened the pedestal drawer under my desk and found it full to the top with crusty old mugs from the canteen.

  20. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    First it was Venezuela...

    Martin Niemoller should be alive now.

    He would be 127 years old. That would be incredible.

    I dunno how he felt about coffee.

  21. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    staff have been banned from serving up anything non-vegetarian.

    Isn't that discrimination? Against the majority, no less!

    I think I'd protest by bringing in a tray of sausage rolls every Friday and leaving them on the table with the unread magazines. The omnivores will appreciate it almost as much as watching the veggies and vegans scream in horror.

    1. druck
      Happy

      Re: staff have been banned from serving up anything non-vegetarian.

      Chuck in a few black puddings to get them really bloody worked up.

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: staff have been banned from serving up anything non-vegetarian.

      No, no, no, no Jooohon, it's not discrimination. We're just educating you on how people feel offended and excluded when you eat meat in front of them.

      West Coast "woke" liberalism meets Clare in the Community.

  22. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    Tragedy of the commons

    Solve it by getting people to use their own mugs, or at least give them a sense of ownership.

  23. Mike Moyle Silver badge

    I read that title as"WetWork restructuring..." and was reminded of a couple of places I worked while they were on their last legs. Management infighting could get fierce!

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Any news on the Saudi money angle?

    At some moment during the Khashoggi mess, WeWork was mentioned as being primarily financed by a certain Saudi royal. Yes, that one. Then the story just sort of faded away. Any news? anon for obvious

  25. M.V. Lipvig

    Where I work, if you want a cup you bring your own and if you leave it in the break room the cleaning staff tosses it. It's a great system.

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