back to article Florida man's deadliest catch forces police to evacuate Taco Bell

Oh, Florida man. Will your hijinks ever cease? Not satisfied with discovering the largest prime number last year, the news world's favourite hapless superhero took down an Ocala Taco Bell branch on Saturday with a bomb scare of sorts. Though one could argue any trip to Taco Bell ends with a few explosions, CNN reported that …

  1. CT

    Not just in Florida...

    ...but with an annoying frequency, WW1/WW2 souvenir hunters bringing old ordnance into the Paris Eurostar terminal and consequently shutting everything down for a few hours when they go through security.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not just in Florida...

      When I were a lad there was a school trip to the Somme - I'd recommend you go there - and I and my mates thought nothing of stuffing our pockets with the empty cases and occasional complete round that was ploughed up by the farmers. They came home on the ferry in a rolled up pair of socks, then lived in the tin at the back of a drawer containing my knives, lighters and other forbidden items. Goodness knows what happened to them!

      1. Persona

        Re: Not just in Florida...

        You might want to check what did happen to the complete round. Possession of a live round is an offence under section 1 of the Firearms Act. Under the circumstances you're unlikely to get the full five year custodial sentence, though you could get six months.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Candidate failed

    So, yet another Darwin candidate disqualified - on grounds of surviving.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Candidate failed

      Survivors are eligible for a Darwin Award, as long as they render themselves incapable of reproducing.

      I guess the logical extension is that anyone who has already procreated is ineligible for an award, unless their stupidity results in an event that also kills their offspring, such as 'repairing' their own gas boiler or fitting new 'brakes' to their family car when they are not competent to do so. See Dunning Kruger for why incompetent people overestimate their own competency, a verified and repeated confirmation of Russell's observation that the 'ignorant are cocksure'

      1. WonkoTheSane
        Headmaster

        Re: Candidate failed

        "Survivors are eligible for a Darwin Award, as long as they render themselves incapable of reproducing."

        Incorrect. Survivors are only eligble for an "Honourable Mention", not the full Darwin.

        1. Remy Redert

          Re: Candidate failed

          Incorrect. Survivors are only eligible for an honourable mention or at-risk survivor if they failed to remove themselves from the gene pool. The living Darwin Award is for those who eliminate themselves from the gene pool and survive to tell the tale.

          1. Saruman the White

            Re: Candidate failed

            "The living Darwin Award is for those who eliminate themselves from the gene pool and survive to tell the tale."

            An example being a guy who sliced his scrotum open and decided to deal with it by stapling the wound together. By the time he got to A&E, it was well too late for the family jewels.

        2. Fungus Bob Silver badge

          Re: Candidate failed

          Is the Full Darwin anything like a Full Cleveland?

          1. Swarthy Silver badge
            Paris Hilton

            Re: Candidate failed

            Why do I get the feeling that I should not google "Full Cleveland" whilst at work

            1. Geoffrey W Silver badge

              Re: Candidate failed

              Youd'e be disappointed if you did.

  3. drand

    Here fishy fishy

    I've never been into the whole fishing thing but I do keep an aquarium. I never knew fish were magnetic though. Amazing what you learn.

    1. phuzz Silver badge

      Re: Here fishy fishy

      I suppose electric eels must also have an associated magnetic field.

    2. Steve K Silver badge

      Re: Here fishy fishy

      I never knew fish were magnetic

      That's a load of carp

    3. ibmalone Silver badge

      Re: Here fishy fishy

      Almost anything is magnetic when in a strong enough field...

      (Though a little impractical for catching actual fish. You might get one of these though https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucky_iron_fish)

      (Edited to non-commercial and less annoying link.)

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Here fishy fishy

        Andre Geim won an Ignobel Award for levitating a frog with magnets - no reason it wouldn't work on a fish except it would require removing the fish from water. He would later go on to win a Nobel prize in Physics for faffing around with sellotape and extracting quantities if of graphene suitable for testing.

        1. jmch Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: Here fishy fishy

          "a Nobel prize in Physics for faffing around with sellotape "

          Star comment!!

        2. ibmalone Silver badge

          Re: Here fishy fishy

          I was thinking of the frog :) The same lab levitated water, so it's not a problem in theory, you just need to work out how you'll get big enough magnets to lift the lake in place. (And I suppose, what to do with all the hand grenades you'll find while doing so.)

          1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

            Re: Here fishy fishy

            Sounds like a job for the DoD. How many teslas would it take to lift and drop Lake Baikal on Moscow? It would be an environmentally friendly* MOAB- Mother Of All Blobs

            *ok, unless you're a Muscovite. However, I'd suggest a dry.. or wet run on Slough first.

            1. Swarthy Silver badge
              Mushroom

              Re: Here fishy fishy

              Ah, the famed 30-second slum clearance.

              I could think of a few candidates closer to the DoD that could use it. Baltimore, for example.

        3. xeroks

          Re: Here fishy fishy

          I always imagined the prize was less for using sellotape, and more for getting rid of it afterwards, leaving the graphene intact.

          Though to be fair it is one of those "why didn't anyone else think of that?" ideas.

    4. Scott Pedigo
      Childcatcher

      Speaking of Magnet Fishing...

      I remember having a toy magnetic fishing set as a child, similar to this (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Digabi-Magnetic-Fishing-Toys-Colorful/dp/B07DLQ63CK/) but the magnet wouldn't have been strong enough to pull out a grenade.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Speaking of Magnet Fishing...

        "I remember having a toy magnetic fishing set as a child"

        This one is pretty close to the one I had in the mid to late 60's. In mine, the fish had numbers on for scoring and each player had a card with fish silhouettes to place that catches on so you could score for a winner when the card was full. If you caught a fish and didn't have a matching silhouette or had already filled any matching ones, you had to throw it back.

        I made something similar for the grandkids when they about 5-6 yo and they absolutely loved it. No lights, no motors, no electronics, just good simple fun.

    5. elgarak1

      Re: Here fishy fishy

      Note: He was not after fishes.

    6. Fungus Bob Silver badge

      Re: Here fishy fishy

      Fish aren't but hand grenades are...

  4. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    Taco Bell Shut Down!

    The man was performing a public service.

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Taco Bell Shut Down!

      Taco Bell reopened later in the day.

      He needs more practice. With luck he'll finish the job next time.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Taco Bell Shut Down!

      I eat at Taco Bell yearly, just to remind myself how bad life could be,

      1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

        Re: Taco Bell Shut Down!

        Going for the Full Darwin?

  5. lglethal Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Idiot

    The guy should be happy that the magnet pulled up the whole grenade and didn't just pull the pin.

    1. Remy Redert

      Re: Idiot

      If it had just pulled the pin, the grenade would have detonated underwater and he wouldn't have been bothered at all.

      The real risk there is having the pin trapped and pulling up just the grenade, because then you risk the thing going off before you drop it back into the water.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Idiot

        The real risk is 75 year old explosive having changed into a more 'interesting' formation which detonated when it dried out and crystals started to grow.

        1. sisk Silver badge

          Re: Idiot

          Weren't they still using gunpowder for grenades in WW2? It doesn't dry out into less stable forms. Well, not when it's soaked with water anyway.

          1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

            Re: Idiot

            Weren't they still using gunpowder for grenades in WW2

            Not sure. Detonators would have been something different and there's no guarantee that any gunpowder would have come into contact with water, so it could still be stable/effective.

            1. Big John Silver badge

              Re: Idiot

              If that grenade is a US Mk.2, then it did not contain gunpowder. From Wikipedia:

              The original Mk 2 grenade had a 3⁄8-inch (9.5 mm) threaded plug in its base, which covered the opening used to place the explosive filling, either 1.85 oz (52 g) of TNT, 2.33 oz (66 g) of Trojan explosive (a mixture of 40% nitrostarch, ammonium nitrate, and sodium nitrate), 1.85 oz (52 g) of a 50/50 amatol/nitrostarch mixture, or 1.85 oz (52 g) of Grenite (a mixture of 95% nitrostarch and binders). Some early Mk 2 grenades were filled with 0.74 oz (21 g) of smokeless EC powder.

              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mk_2_grenade

              1. ibmalone Silver badge

                Re: Idiot

                Yes, the clue is it's a 2nd world war weapon, gunpowder was fast disappearing at the start of the 20th century, to be replaced by things like cordite and dynamite. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cordite

  6. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
    Coat

    Owwww...

    The mind boggles if it left his (brief) ownership the way most taco bell items do...

    Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!

    Ect etc...

    Mines the one with the good food guide in the pocket...

  7. Teiwaz Silver badge

    Are we absolutely sure....

    That it wasn't a Wow-Wow Sauce storage misadventure?

    Whoops! Wrong link!

  8. Dippywood

    Role Reversal

    This time the human caused an automatic evacuation of Taco Bell.

    Normally, Taco Bell causes humans to auto-evacuate - the only gamble is on direction...

    1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

      Re: Role Reversal

      Panic in the disco! Fire in the Taco Bell!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a4gyJsY0mc

      (oh yeah, probably NSFW due to, um, gratuitous saxophone solo)

      1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

        Re: Role Reversal

        (Although it could have been worse. Could have been a ladle solo (ant steal yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ewe clique dis ligne que j'avais furnis))

  9. Shadow Systems Silver badge

    I remember magnet fishing...

    My friends & I would go out to a river near my home, each of us take a different section of shore to make sure our casts didn't interfere with each other, & "fish" the river with a large RareEarthMagnet instead of a traditional hook. We'd end up pulling up all sorts of stuff like hooks, lures, & other assorted fishing bits, but occasionally we'd come up with something interesting like a ring, a set of keys, or a bit of waterlogged electronics. The hooks would get thrown away, the lures would get sold back to a fishing store, & all the rest of the stuff we'd keep to show around school.

    One time we ended up "hooking" something far too large for any one of us to pull out, we all cast to the same place to work together (to no avail), so we marked the spot on the shore & went to inform the park rangers. It turned out we'd found someones car. The divers were most impressed & amused: impressed that "you caught a car!" & amused because "Does it meet the minimum catch size or will you have to throw it back?"

    Magnet fishing can be fun when you're a kid & bored. =-)

  10. Snowy
    Joke

    Many lives where saved

    With the temporary closure of the Taco Bell!

  11. sisk Silver badge

    In his defense I think it's unlikely that a WW2 era grenade found underwater could explode. I suppose it's possible that it hasn't been underwater this whole time, but even so I'd expect the gunpowder in the thing to be thoroughly soaked and the igniter mechanism to be long since rusted into uselessness.

    Then again, I'd not have taken chances on it by throwing it in my car just in case.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I wouldn't bet on it. I lived in a small NJ city that had a post WW II Korean ammo barge loading spot. After a bit, the workers got too cavalier about how they handled said items. After the following blast items were found scattered all over the place. Land mines, grenades, and the occasional artillery shell were found for years. I was in grade school in the 50's and we had annual lectures from the EOD people about what to look for and what to do (I.E. RUN AWAY FAST).

      An artillery shell was found in, of all places, the public library and was a Korean War type. Result: building and 2 next door evacuated, EOD visit, firemen and first aiders on standby and general hoo-hah. The grenade the kids found, if correctly made, could have gone off. If a frag grenade it would be very nasty if you were close. Lucky kids

  12. Ian Emery Silver badge

    Hero !!

    He saved all those people from consuming "food" at Taco Bell.

  13. Jay Lenovo Silver badge
    FAIL

    Bomb Squad Fail

    Yet, they found no issue with the loaded Bean Burritos.

    Improvised domestic weapons of "ass" destruction.

  14. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Irony

    The police dept having a badge with a FirstNation/NativeAmerican/Indian(feather not red dot) and a motto "God Be With Us" - how did that work out for them?

    1. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: Irony

      That's the city seal. Those are the Seminole indians, who are rather respected around there.

      Source: I grew up in Ocala.

      And it's a practice of the US government to put stupid religious sayings on things, like the "in god we trust" crap on the coinage.

      > feather not red dot

      Nice. Now who's the racist one?

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Irony

        >Nice. Now who's the racist one?

        I was translating for local usage.

        There seems to be a strong latitude dependence of terminology for pre-european inhabitants

        1. Hollerithevo Silver badge

          Re: Irony

          'pre-european inhabiants' or, as we tend to call them 'original inhabitants'.

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: Irony

            >'original inhabitants'.

            Presumably the 'original inhabitants' are now in Punta Arenas

            The ones living in N America are the ones who killed/replaced/drove out the earlier ones who then moved further south and were then replaced by the next lot to cross from Asia

            The the ones on top of the pile when the europeans arrived are the penultimate nations

  15. devTrail

    What was the grenade doing there?

    As far as I know Florida was far from conflict zones. What was the grenade doing there? Was it a soldier training area or was it dumped by someone who held it illegally?

    1. Marty McFly
      Pint

      Re: What was the grenade doing there?

      Ha! That was my first thought. I wonder if someone was doing 'fishing' the easy way.

      *Boom* ... Fish float to the surface. Scoop them up with a net. Only thing to add is cheap canned beer and a "Hey, y'all, watch this!"

    2. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: What was the grenade doing there?

      Ocala is a really remote rural area even today, so in WW-II it was a prime training area. The Pinecastle range nearby is still active. There's been problems with new subdivisions where they've found munition dumping grounds and have had to spend a lot of money cleaning up.

  16. J 3
    Alien

    Homo floridianus

    The gift that keeps on giving.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

      Re: Homo floridianus

      It's why /r/FloridaMan exists.

      1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

        Re: Homo floridianus

        Well, Florida was a tag before hashtags were even invented (farkin true!).

  17. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Oh, and by the way ...

    I was totally sure that he was going to catch ... crabs. (meh. It's the deadliest catch I could think up on such short notice)

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How do you catch Grenadiers?

    Why Grenades, of course.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grenadiers_(fish)

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re. Magnets

    Finally, a use for all the monster magnets I keep salvaging from defunct HDDs, magnetrons etc.

    (NOTE: Bad idea, magnetrons contain Be and the capacitors can KILL YOU!!)

    On the flip side, to get metallic debris off a Nd magnet use vinegar and 30 vol H2O2.

    Old school but works well!

  20. Jonathon Desmond

    Maybe, just maybe.....

    .... the purpose of collecting this explody stuff is in case the Franchise Wars break out whilst he is on one of his regular visits to said Taco Bell?

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