back to article We all love bonking to pay, but if you bonk with a Windows Phone then Microsoft has bad news

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to honour the memory of yet another Windows mobile technology. The rabidly unpopular Microsoft Wallet for the much beloved Windows Phone is for the chop. Microsoft has quietly updated its Microsoft Pay page to reflect the demise of the tap-happy mobile technology, though it broke …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Loving this, I get a warm fuzzy feeling just thinking about the iPhone funeral that coke fueled Microsoft managers held when they thought (and still think) Microsoft are untouchable.

    https://www.cnet.com/pictures/microsofts-funeral-for-the-iphone-photos/

    The demise of Microsoft can't come soon enough..

    1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Be careful what you wish for.

      People laughed in the 1960s when Krushchev said communists would attend the funeral of capitalism. Then the Soviet Union collapsed.

      Then came Trump and the rise of China and suddenly it isn't so funny any more (even if the current Chinese government isn't really communist).

    2. katrinab Silver badge

      They've overtaken Apple in stockmarket capitalisation. They make more money from every sale of an iPhone or Android than they ever did from the sale of a Windows phone.

    3. Bausfight

      Sorry bro. The fact that they killed off Windows Phone and went head first with Windows and Cloud means they actually surpassed Apple in market value last year. Crazy, but true. Microsoft is actually growing faster than ever before.

  2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

    NFC? No fucking chance.

    We all love bonking to pay

    I don't. Increased attack surface in order to save a few minutes over the course of my lifetime? I'm lazy, but I'm not that lazy.

    1. Ed

      Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

      I'd say it saves more than a few minutes, at least with my usage.

      On average I make a couple of Apple Pay/contactless payments a day (excluding tube/train travel). If that (conservatively) saves me 5 seconds of having to insert my card, wait, then type in my PIN that's about an hour a year saved.

      1. Danny 14 Silver badge

        Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

        i prefer to root my phone. apparently that has locked me out of a few secure apps. oh well.

        1. Gene Cash Silver badge

          Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

          Use Magisk to root your phone, and it successfully hides itself from the SafetyNet checks.

          So basically it's white-hat malware.

          I don't even have NFC and I don't do anything requiring SafetyNet anyway, but hey...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

            Magisk hide doesn't fix all safetynet issues. But functionality gained by rooting >>>>> functionality gained from the few tools that check safetynet so screw those guys.

        2. Kiwi Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

          i prefer to root my phone.

          I think you've mis-understood the idea of "bonking to pay with your phone"

          Mine's the one in the gutter.

      2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: that's about an hour a year saved.

        Except if you shopped at my local Waitrose on the day they had a complete card processing shutdown. The nearest trustworthy cash point is about ten minute's walk away.

      3. katrinab Silver badge

        Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

        I find a contacless card is quicker than Apple Pay, unless I already have my phone out for another reason, I'm paying more than £30, or it is an online purchase where contactless isn't an option.

    2. Snake
      Devil

      Re: bonking to pay

      Actually bonking for pay doesn't pay that well. $100 to $150 for, err, per shot is standard going rate; the only people who make good bonk pay are the top, known performers in the field.

      And yes, I have personal experience to place that statement as truth.

      1. AK565

        Re: bonking to pay

        A few friends and I are curious about how the deluge of homemade porn has affected the industry.

        Whether the per shot pay is good or bad depends on the length of the work day. How would one go about researching this?

    3. DougS Silver badge

      I had always been skeptical

      But I found a particular case paying via Apple Pay is a timesaver for me. My grocery store has rewards that pay in cents off for gas - and it basically works out that with me needing to fill up every 3-4 weeks I get free gas (well 0.9 cents per gallon) on each fill so it is worth doing.

      I won't carry loyalty cards but they support Apple Wallet so I scanned in the card and can show them my phone and they use their little laser scanner on its QR code just like they would if I carried the card. Since I have to get my phone out at checkout anyway, paying via Apple Pay saves time over pocketing the phone, pulling out the wallet, taking the card out, and waiting for the frustrating long "authorizing" time the new EMV cards require.

      In fact the authorization time is long enough it probably IS quicker to use Apple Pay (or Android Pay) than to use an EMV card. Its just a matter of not easily knowing where they are accepted, since the readers aren't always marked with the logo and I'm not going to hold my phone near the terminal just to see if it works. The fact payment is as anonymous as cash (at least for Apple Pay, with Android Pay not so much) is nice too. I may be willing to trade my privacy for free tankfuls of gas, but that's my choice and for most purchases I don't see any reason they should get to know my name.

      1. JohnFen Silver badge

        Re: I had always been skeptical

        "My grocery store has rewards"

        Personally speaking, I am not on board with allowing my grocery store to spy on me any more than I'm on board with allowing the likes of Google, etc., to spy on me. And since Google, etc. has begun buying the data generated by the use of loyalty cards along with credit and debit cards, there's not much of a difference anyway.

        1. DougS Silver badge

          Re: I had always been skeptical

          If my grocery store was using the information to send me coupons in the mail like they used to I'd never go along with it. But free tanks of gas are worth it to me. I'm not an absolutist on privacy, I am willing to give up my information if I feel I am being adequately paid for it. I just want to have the choice, which in 99% of cases one does not.

          And at that, the information they gather on me is limited to knowing what groceries I buy, and when and how often I shop. Google tries to collect EVERYTHING in your life, which is a step up of at least a couple orders of magnitude, and they offer far less value to me than free tanks of gas. I'm not sure what I would need to be OK with Google tracking me everywhere I go like those with an Android phone are, but it would be a lot more than free gas. Maybe if they make my mortgage payments :)

    4. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

      Anyone with an ounce of tech sense will know phone payment is more secure than other payment types. Firstly it uses one time use card numbers, linked to your real card back at your bank, so skimming or interception is pointless, secondly, it's only active when the phone is on, and unlocked, unlike your card in your pocket.. lastly, it's remote wipeable, phone gets nicked, click click wiped.

      It's not a coincidence that cards are limited to £30, but Android/Google Pay (and I assume apple pay) have no limit, the banks trust it far more than existing payment systems.

      1. katrinab Silver badge

        Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

        Apple Pay itself doesn't have a limit, but terminals that don't know it has been verified by fingerprint or face id will apply the contactless limit. There's not so many of them as when it first came out, but there are still some, and it depends on the specific branch of the shop you go into whether they have upgraded their terminals.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

          Some terminals are hard coded to £30. Not many these days

        2. Starkoman
          Holmes

          Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

          Pay has a limit of £9,000.

    5. DrXym Silver badge

      Re: NFC? No fucking chance.

      I don't mind contactless payment with a credit card. I see no reason at all to use a phone or other electronic device to do the same.

      At the end of the day it just adds layers of uncertainty, complexity and middlemen into the transaction and is no more convenient than waving a card.

  3. N2 Silver badge
    Trollface

    With another doomed technology...

    Seems to be a daily occurence now.

    Sould be all done by the end of Feb.

    1. Ledswinger Silver badge

      Re: With another doomed technology...

      Seems to be a daily occurence now.

      The bizarre thing is that they're claiming that Microsoft Pay is here to stay. There's no native Microsoft phone hardware or software to install it on, and the remaining non-phone Microsoft hardware and software aren't portable in the sense of being "tap to pay" suitable.

      Do they really think people will buy an Android or Apple, and then load up Microsoft Pay?

      all done by the end of Feb

      Not in the Redmond parallel universe. They usually take about four years to work out when one of their products is dead.

  4. Howard Hanek Bronze badge
    Happy

    Arthur C. Clark Omitted This

    The scenes of hysterical laughter the aliens will ignite into when they're shown our 'technology' for the first time. Especially a Windows Phone.

    1. Scott 53

      Re: Arthur C. Clark Omitted This

      Or a mashed potato

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Arthur C. Clark Omitted This

        or a digital watch.

        1. AK565

          Re: Arthur C. Clark Omitted This

          So who did the 'aliens responding to a digital watch' thing first, Clark or Adams?

  5. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    Wait...

    I've not been paying attention. You mean Microsoft is killing the entire Windows mobile ecosystem at the end of the year? What happened to SatNad's "Mobile First" edict? It's all getting Zuned?

    1. Bausfight

      Re: Wait...

      It means as a software company, all their big software and services are available on all mobile platforms.

  6. JohnFen Silver badge

    Lost me at the headline

    We don't all love bonking to pay. I certainly don't.

    Some of us might love paying to bonk, though!

    1. VikiAi Bronze badge
      Go

      Re: Lost me at the headline

      Are there houses of ill repute that accept NFC? So you can bonk to pay for a bonk?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Lost me at the headline

        A social worker tells me there's a local prostitute who only charges £25 which means after she's paid the pimp/drug dealer and got her drugs she's only seeing about £5 a go.

        I'd be up for an NFC system which allowed me to bonk to pay for something that would bonk drug dealers and pimps. Preferably with a .38 round in the back of the head.

    2. Teiwaz Silver badge

      Re: Lost me at the headline

      Some of us might love paying to bonk, though!

      We all pay for that...... One way or another.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Another failure thanks to Satnav Nutella :o(

  8. Charles3

    Why are you selling?

    Stop selling without any notion of technology whatsoever. I do NFC payments on my Fitbit. Doesn't make sense on a phone. Cold. Dead. Fingers.

  9. halladayrules

    HOW BOINKING WORKS:

    1. You whip your DEVICE out

    2. Then tap that ASS-tonishingly well put together credit card terminal with your phone.

    3. BOOM baby

  10. Dr. Mouse Silver badge

    It's not dead...

    It's just resting!

  11. Daleos

    Much rather use contactless cards.

    Easier to get out your pocket,

    Less chance of dropping your phone.

    Easier to decide if it's a work or personal purchase.

    Less germs on my phone,

    No chance of being stuck in the event of a dead battery.

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