back to article It’s baaack – Microsoft starts pushing out the Windows 10 October 2018 Update

Select Windows 10 devices are now automatically downloading Microsoft’s troubled 1809 update, according to the support page for the operating system. It is over three months since Microsoft first had a crack at releasing the Windows 10 update, before pulling it a scant few days later after users reported all manner of issues, …

  1. Screwed

    I have also noticed in the past few days several machines that had got stuck on some earlier W10 release have managed to update themselves.

    Related?

    1. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge
      WTF?

      Remote Desktop

      We had several machines update themselves to 1809 in the last week. They all started having issues with Remote Desktop, which gets heavily used in our place.

  2. Screwed

    Noticed a number of machines that had been stuck on earlier W10 releases have recently unjammed and updated successfully. Not yet identified exactly what allowed them to do so but Update Assistant seems to have been used. Ironically, perhaps, I think they have all ended up on 1803.

  3. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Trollface

    "our next generation machine learning model"

    Dear Lord in Heaven, now they've saddled a pseudo-AI to determine which computers should be "blessed" with the next upgrade.

    I wonder what the criteria is ? Should it prefer machines that got borked last time, or the ones that didn't ?

    Well, at least we finally have an excuse for all that telemetry - Microsoft is just trying to maximise its annoyingness.

    1. malle-herbert Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: "our next generation machine learning model"

      Their machines may be learning... but their programmers certainly aren't,,,,

    2. ArrZarr Silver badge

      Re: "our next generation machine learning model"

      In Microsoft's defense, the criteria are probably hardware/driver based, rolling out to machines with known good hardware/drivers and then expand it to include systems that deviate more and more from known good over time.

      At least, that's how I'd go about it.

      1. Zippy´s Sausage Factory

        Re: "our next generation machine learning model"

        My instinct tells me that probably isn't how they've done it. Because that method sounds far too sane, far too sensible, and very unlikely to cause problems - none of which are qualities their updates have demonstrated in recent weeks.

    3. Eddy42

      Re: "our next generation machine learning model"

      Again, to be fair to Microsoft they are tasked with rolling out a global update for a user base who are 80-90% computer illiterate, many of whom bought computers that were either built or upgraded by a 'mate who knows about computers' or the local back street 100% legal PC repair shop.

      Think about the chances of all them 'genuine NVidia GeForce Ultra cards for £30 on ebay' working after the update, but they'll be the same 'know-it-all' teenagers that you'll see posting YouTube videos about how Microsoft programmers don't care and aren't listening.

      In short - the fact that Microsoft have a development team that can release this stuff without destroying the world more often is a minor miracle (and anyone who works in software development would agree) - just ask which development environment is the world's best - Microsoft Visual Studio wins hands down - made by Microsoft developers for developers. (and yes I'm aware Eclipse is better for some use-cases)

      If you are computer illiterate don't force the upgrade early, if you are running a corporate environment plan for the change and verify your backup routines - that's your job. Microsoft are not trying to destroy your world...

      1. Zippy´s Sausage Factory

        Re: "our next generation machine learning model"

        Visual Studio the world's best IDE? It's not even Microsoft's best IDE.

      2. doublelayer Silver badge

        Re: "our next generation machine learning model"

        I think you may be a bit overzealous in your defense there.

        "Again, to be fair to Microsoft they are tasked with rolling out a global update for a user base who are 80-90% computer illiterate,"

        Good start. I agree that this is a major problem for Microsoft's engineers.

        "many of whom bought computers that were either built or upgraded by a 'mate who knows about computers' or the local back street 100% legal PC repair shop."

        Some of them are, but most of them are using computers that were built by the companies that build or sell computers, using the software environment that those companies came up with. Dell, HP, Lenovo, etc. have much more market share each than custom-built machines, especially when considering users who are tech-illiterate. Those machines have many of their own problems, and a great deal of the driver or hardware problems experienced by users can be laid at the feet of those companies, but it is not fair to classify most windows machines as built with extremely weird components.

        "Think about the chances of all them 'genuine NVidia GeForce Ultra cards for £30 on ebay' working after the update,"

        I don't think those are going to work, but the kind of person who goes to eBay and purchases an obviously not-genuine graphics card is the type who should expect problems. The type who buys a computer from the computer store and has done nothing at all to the hardware shouldn't expect anything like those using counterfeit graphics cards.

        "but they'll be the same 'know-it-all' teenagers that you'll see posting YouTube videos about how Microsoft programmers don't care and aren't listening."

        Those people are probably not the ones complaining here.

        "In short - the fact that Microsoft have a development team that can release this stuff without destroying the world more often is a minor miracle (and anyone who works in software development would agree)"

        They are not as hyperbolically bad as comments here might lead one to believe, but they have had times where they didn't do what they should have (the initial 1809 deleting files thing, for example, was purely their fault and could have been fixed when the Windows insiders found it rather than after it deleted standard users' files).

        "just ask which development environment is the world's best - Microsoft Visual Studio wins hands down - made by Microsoft developers for developers. (and yes I'm aware Eclipse is better for some use-cases)"

        Personal opinion, not necessarily one I agree with, either.

      3. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

        Re: "our next generation machine learning model"

        @Eddy42 - Only a small number of people build their own computers. The vast majority will a prebuilt Dell, HP, Lenovo, etc. from a well-known retailer. They are also highly unlikely to ever change out or add anything to the box once home. If anything is done is often by the local 'Geek Squad' equivalent. Otherwise the box is unchanged from the day they bought it. So the fact Slurp cannot release a version that is not problematic is a black mark as most of the boxes out there are using well-known components and some really esoteric card made by Fred in his spare time.

        No one is accusing Slurp deliberating trying to destroy one's world. But their incompetence, negligence, and blithe stupidity has the same effect. And it is largely avoidable if Slurp cared enough to have a proper testing group. Most of Slurp's recent negative publicity is purely self-inflicted.

        Calling VS the best IDE is pure shilling. It maybe the best for C# and VB but there are plenty of excellent IDEs available. Some are very language specific while others are more general.

    4. Scott 1

      Re: "our next generation machine learning model"

      Just our future AI machine overlords taking the next steps toward world domination.

    5. SVV Silver badge

      Re: "our next generation machine learning model"

      if (updateWorked(machineBrand)

      {

      addToUpdateList(machineBrand);

      }

      else

      {

      addToBorkedList(machineBrand);

      }

  4. Tom 35 Silver badge

    My home computer updated last week. Didn't blow up, but did take a couple hours to finish.

  5. Jay Lenovo Silver badge
    Alert

    Please Play Responsibly

    An update lottery of sorts.

    Have a gambling problem? 1 (800) xxx-xxxx (Microsoft Customer Support)

    1. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: Please Play Responsibly

      Beep Beep Beep All lines are permanently busy. Please contact Microsoft Customer Support.

  6. bombastic bob Silver badge
    Trollface

    2nd? 3rd? 4th? n'th? time around

    like a dog eating its own vomit

    "It'll taste better and stay down, THIS time! For sure!"

  7. Carl D

    By the time MS has 1809 (which really should have been 1811 by the time they fixed the file deletion bug in the original release) more or less suitable for general use they will be churning out the next "big" update with it's new associated problems - 1903 or 19H1 or whatever they decide to call it.

    This 6 month upgrade madness needs to stop. And, how about they go back to the proper "Patch Tuesday" system with Windows 10. Seems like every day of the week is patch day. I'm sure people have better things to do than sit looking at "Installing Updates - Do Not Turn Off Your Computer" all day.

    1. Carpet Deal 'em
      Linux

      But just look at all those Linux distributions that release bianually! If it works for assortments of packages developed independently, it can work for Windows!

    2. Hans 1 Silver badge
      Joke

      I am stuck with 1803, and 1901 failed to install ... I have high hopes for 1903 or 1904, sure they will have it fixed by then!

      Factual: Yes, when Windows Update failed, I did try MediaCreationTool1809.exe and that had to roll back as well ... I also downloaded all the latest drivers from HP's website earlier this month, to be on the safe side ...

    3. grumpy-old-person

      Six month madness?

      Ubuntu and MANY Linux distributions do this without causing chaos - so why is M$ special?

      The real issue is that M$ could not find its corporate arse with a map and a torch!

  8. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

    Windows 10 scares the shit outta me

    Its bloody horrible. Ghastly. I repair PCs for a living, and use Win7 on my own PC. Dreading the day I'm forced to go Win10 (not for another 10 years at least).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Windows 10 scares the shit outta me

      I've been playing around with Windows 10 on a test laptop for the time when I eventually have to look at migrating. By putting the LTSC build onto it (no feature updates, Cortana, MS Store or any of that crap), then using Open Shell (formerly Classic Shell) to replace the Start Menu, Blackbird or ShutUp10 to nobble the spyware, ONE (OldNewExplorer) to bin the ribbon from Windows Explorer, and Windows Update MiniTool to gain control over the updates, it was just about usable once I'd finished.

      Of course, a pity that you need to dick about so much to get Windows 10 into a usable state (and using an admittedly pirated build due to MS not selling LTSC to ordinary fold), whereas Windows 7 manages all of the above out of the box, but hey-ho. I'll still be sticking with Windows 7 on my main machines for as long as I possibly can...

      1. Fred Goldstein

        Re: Windows 10 scares the shit outta me

        Windows Update MiniTool looks like a very useful accessory, if it actually prevents the automatic updates from occurring and gives back full control over updates. But someone asked them a q in 2017 about that -- since it is a standalone program, how does it stop Windows 10 from updating itself anyway?

        1. Dave K Silver badge

          Re: Windows 10 scares the shit outta me

          I use it with a PowerShell script. The script enables Windows Update then runs Windows Update MiniTool. Once it's done, the script disables Windows Update again. Bit of a faf, but does generally work.

      2. David McCarthy

        Re: Windows 10 scares the shit outta me

        I'm with you ... we're still on Win7 - have too many friends & associates who have had major problems with Win10. Last two PCs bought without OS and Win7 bought from eBay (I'm very careful about the vendors I purchase from).

        But ... where can I get/how do I do a pirated LTSC (and what is it?). Need this as insurance for a future catastrophe.

        1. Danny 14 Silver badge

          Re: Windows 10 scares the shit outta me

          So you dont know what LTSC is but want to pirate and install it anyway? You are also careful about what you buy from ebay but would be happy to install a cracked version of your OS on your main PC?

          strewth.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @ J. R. Re: Windows 10 scares the shit outta me

      Come on, laddie, you're Looking At It Wrong(tm). Think of Win10 as being guaranteed employment for life. And buy a Mac or use a Linux distro on your own stuff. That's what I did.

      I _love_ Microsoft, I really do. Every time they screw something up, people come to me bearing dead/dying/zombified computers and begging me to fix said poor abused beasties. Which I do, for a fee. Keep it up, Microsoft, please.

    3. J27

      Re: Windows 10 scares the shit outta me

      I'm sure you said the same thing about XP too. If you make the attempt, you'll find switching to 10 is pretty painless.

  9. Spacebots

    Working OK here

    I used the manual Windows update last week for both my desktop and my wife's tablet after reading somewhere that Microsoft were recommending people do that because of some new bug or other. It did take longer than average but I didn't realise it was that October update again or I might have declined. Last autumn my desktop was totally bricked after installing that. It was fortunate I had a full image backup on an external drive or I'd have been screwed.

    Fortunately, my desktop is OK this time other than one of my apps stopped working and I had to spend a few seconds reinstalling it. My wife's Win 10 tablet is also OK other than that every time she switches it on now, the wifi connection has been disconnected and she has to manually reconnect. I haven't looked to see if I can correct that yet but it's not a big deal She only has to right click on the wifi icon at the bottom right of the screen and left click on the "connect" button.

    Edit: forgot to mention it is Version 1809 Build 17763.253

    1. thondwe

      Re: Working OK here

      Arrived on my work desktop (I can pull updates direct from MS if I want) - so far so good. But quite what the AI is telling them I don't know - this machine is a pretty old box, but essentially is just an intel motherboard inside (Q1, 2011 released!) ...

  10. Mike Lewis

    Any love for Windows 7?

    I'd be happy if they put out a Windows 7 update for January that I can trust.

    1. Ernie Mercer

      Re: Any love for Windows 7?

      All the Windows 7 updates since the middle of last year have disabled my USB ports. No keyboard, no mouse. Had to restore the hard drive on another PC using a backup.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    QA gear

    "... the gang at Redmond have told users that it will only send the update to devices it believes “will have the best update experience based on our next generation machine learning model.”

    Translation: "to devices we've managed to recover for testing, from the basement, where all the QA gear was dumped, following the sacking of all the QA team."

  12. The Central Scrutinizer

    "Select Windows 10 devices are now automatically downloading Microsoft’s troubled 1809 update,"

    There's your problem right there. The unpleasant log laid by Microsoft all those years ago continues to emit a foul stench throughout the computerverse.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Megaphone

    FFS it's March in 3 months then the whole ghastly cycle begins again, MS drop this stupid release cycle of a tonne of shit every 6 months as IT ISN'T FUCKING WORKING !

    Are any of those retards in Redmond listening to the whole World telling them this is a disaster ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Redmond only sees that sales are increasing - nothing else matters.

      --

      "Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanos! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!" -- The Ghostbusters explain why not to buy or use any Microsoft products.

      1. M.V. Lipvig

        "Redmond only sees that sales are increasing - nothing else matters."

        This, exactly. Still on Win7 at home, stuck with Win10 at work.

  14. DJV Silver badge

    "Thankfully, the buzzword of the day “AI” wasn’t used."

    No, but "AAAAIIIIII!" will be the sound coming from users when they realise the damned thing has started downloading and installing, and there's bugger all they can do about it!

  15. Tom 7 Silver badge

    A friend of mine was giving a demo yesterday

    but his computer failed to listen to him while it upgraded instead. Fuck Microsoft.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A friend of mine was giving a demo yesterday

      Did your mate do the right thing and say to him self enough is enough with these Windows 10 updates and do one of the following

      1) Move to a more dependable version of Windows so it does not update its self during a demo

      2) Move to Linux so it does not update its self during a demo

      3) Move to MacOS so it does not update its self during a demo

      4) Use an iPad so it does not update its self during a demo

      or did he do nothing and continue to just put up with this behaviour that Microsoft feel is acceptable?

      1. Tom 7 Silver badge

        Re: A friend of mine was giving a demo yesterday

        The ipad would not do what he wanted it to do for any money he can afford. Ditto MacOS.

        As for changing to another windows OS he's one of these people that bought into computing is easy so he's not up for that.

        I may offer to help him upgrade his machine to Linux but not until he's calmed down. He spent ages preparing his demo and getting the people together to watch it and MS takes over his PC and makes him look like a twat (or so he feels), Why cant they just have the common courtesy to say your machine needs updating and it will grind to a halt for a while is that OK or do you have a living to earn from this shit piece of software we made others put on your computer.

  16. Hans 1 Silver badge
    Windows

    Select Windows 10 devices are now automatically downloading Microsoft’s troubled 1809 update

    One of my devices has been selected, but the update STILL fails, ROFL. How bloody hard can it be ... Microsoft, why don't you open source Windows and let us fix it ...

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      You've dodged a bullet there. Now mark the connection as metered.

  17. cosmogoblin

    "... the best update experience ..."

    The best update experience is no update experience. Except in the case of added features, the average user doesn't care and shouldn't need to know that anything has updated at all. The average Vulture reader shouldn't have much more to do than choose which updates to apply, and when.

    I set up Linux Mint for family members with automatic updates for priority 3 and above. I manually install on my own machines, but that often takes longer to confirm my password than it does to complete the updates. Rebooting takes 30 seconds, every time there's a power cut.

    Half my colleagues use Macs, which don't have a problem. The other half use school-supplied Windows laptops, and when it updates, their laptops are out of action for an hour - if they're lucky.

    Just imagine walking into a class of 13-year-olds on Wednesday morning with your exciting lesson plan completely scrapped, and trying to engage Johnny Rotten with a hastily-photocopied worksheet from 1993 for an hour...

    Still, props to MS for saying update rather than upgrade.

  18. Spanners Silver badge
    Pirate

    Still waiting for H1N1

    The tabloids said it would be here any time now.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Still waiting for H1N1

      I haven't seen it, maybe it flu away...

  19. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coat

    Share and Enjoy!

    Oh, joy!! We “will have the best update experience based on our next generation machine learning model.

    isn't this just management speak for "we have given the computer a list of people who screamed blue murder loudest last time round, so please install updates in increasing order of dB plus number of obscenities used."

    Alternatively, it might mean "go stick your head in a pig"

    I'll be going. The one with the HHGTTG radio play cassette tapes in the pocket

  20. the.spike

    Fuckers got me last night. Big box, "Install now" or something. Clicked remind me later and then when I shutdown it updated.

    Fuckers. I hate them.

    1. jelabarre59 Silver badge

      Fuckers got me last night. Big box, "Install now" or something. Clicked remind me later and then when I shutdown it updated.

      But it didn't say *what* it would remind you about. "Reminding" had fuck-all to do with the update.

  21. gcarter

    https://i.imgur.com/9f7GApF.jpg

  22. shovelDriver

    Windows 10 v1809 ? Why so many problems? I've been running it since day 1, and the only issue I had was that it provided outdated NVidia drivers, but that was solved by installing the latest driver from the manufacturer's website. Why are so many people having so many issues? What other software are they running that may be causing their problems?

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