back to article Border guards probe 'suspicious bulge' in man's trousers to find he's packing fluffies

Singaporean border officials were taken aback at just how happy one gent was to see them – particularly when the bulge in his trousers started mewling. Further inspection of the man's drawers revealed that not only was he excited to cross the border from Malaysia, but his package was also packing a full complement of kittens …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who wouldn't be happy with that much pussy around?

    55 3 Reply
    1. Korev Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      It's certainly gives you paws for thought....

      22 0 Reply
    2. shedied
      Reply Icon

      and really really close to where it matters. For warmth. In a tropical destination.

      8 0 Reply
      1. Korev Silver badge
        Reply Icon
        Coat

        I'd imagine that the naughty gentlemen is feline a bit hot down there....

        19 0 Reply
  2. TRT Silver badge

    Was the gentleman's name...

    Claude Balls by any chance?

    79 2 Reply
    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Was the gentleman's name...

      New keyboard please.

      20 0 Reply
    2. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      Re: Was the gentleman's name...

      Or perhaps 'Claude Bawles' for even MORE 'pun'-ishment.

      coat, please...

      5 3 Reply
  3. Giovani Tapini
    Trollface

    I bet that gave the guards a paws for thought

    now that cat is out of the bag, so to speak...It clearly didn't take inspector Clawseu to discover them either..

    30 0 Reply
  4. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    Real Men

    .... don't put pussies in their pants, they train with Ferrets.

    21 1 Reply
    1. Mark 85 Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Real Men

      So a Spartan then?

      4 0 Reply
    2. EVP
      Reply Icon

      Re: Real Men

      Either way, was it kittens or ferrets, into such a training session real men go in, but unmen come out...

      6 0 Reply
  5. Korev Silver badge
    Joke

    IT setup?

    Did the customs systems use Tomcat?

    10 0 Reply
  6. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Should have just put them down on the Malaysian side and had a confederate put down a saucer of milk on the Singapore side and shout "kitty kitty".

    2 0 Reply
    1. xeroks
      Reply Icon

      is that a Generation Game reference?

      1 0 Reply
  7. Khaptain Silver badge

    Bad images enter the mind

    I wonder how he was feeding that much pussy.

    3 2 Reply
  8. Jay Lenovo
    Coat

    Border Crossing Rules and Regulations

    Trouser Cats: Prohibited

    Trouser Snakes: Allowed

    12 0 Reply
  9. Cynic_999 Silver badge

    Looking for an IT angle here ... Suggestions?

    0 6 Reply
    1. Mike Moyle Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Other than something about "KitKat" and a "package manager"... I got nothin'.

      16 0 Reply
      1. Dave559
        Reply Icon

        IT angle?

        A nomination for the “unnecessary use of cat” award?

        11 0 Reply
        1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge
          Reply Icon

          Re: IT angle?

          Needs more upvotes. There must be a fair number of Reg old-timers who remember UUoC awards.

          2 0 Reply
          1. Dave559
            Reply Icon

            Re: IT angle?

            @Michael Wojcik: I'm glad somebody got the reference! :-)

            1 0 Reply
    2. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Linux

      They got rid of all the mice.

      14 0 Reply
    3. TRT Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      His cable was supposed to be Cat 5?

      12 0 Reply
      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Reply Icon
        Coat

        in this case, only 'cat 4' (or kitten 4).

        This is a new twist on Hello Kitty underpants!

        And now I'm thinking of an Australian guy named 'Craig Turner' who did that 'how to stop cats pissing' video. And his 'Cat-apult'. And hammering stuff to look good on video.

        /me grabs coat, runs

        7 1 Reply
        1. TRT Silver badge
          Reply Icon

          I believe it's still the same twisted pair though.

          3 0 Reply
    4. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Ideas for naming for a new Mac OS?

      0 0 Reply
  10. TRT Silver badge

    However...

    ... the whereabouts of the budgie he was smuggling remains a mystery,.

    16 0 Reply
  11. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Coat

    Disgraceful!

    This is clearly an appalling infringement of this man's religious liberties!

    As he's obviously a cataholic.

    My coat? Why thank you. The large one over there, with the purring noises coming from the pockets.

    The IT angle is because in his trousers he had a mobile phone and a spare cattery...

    OK. Sorry. Really going this time...

    19 0 Reply
  12. James Anderson

    Ouch

    ...did he not realise how sharp kitten claws are?

    2 0 Reply
    1. Stevie Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Ouch

      Not until a passing janitor fired up his vacuum cleaner, at any rate.

      10 0 Reply
    2. Alan Brown Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Ouch

      There are worse things than kitten claws.

      Kitten teeth, for instance - and they do try to bite anything that moves.

      0 0 Reply
  13. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Is that a kitten in your pants...

    Or are you just happy to see me?

    (And shouldn't this guy get cited for animal cruelty?)

    5 0 Reply
  14. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    IT angle

    Were the moggies chipped?

    2 0 Reply
  15. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Happy

    Mrs Slocombe's Pussy

    "Oh, Mr. Rumbold, I hope this isn't going to take long. My pussy's been locked up for eight hours."

    "Do you know, I found my pussy trapped in my drawers."

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/125689-mrs-slocombes-pussy-quotes.html

    9 0 Reply
  16. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Should have claimed his trousers were infested when nossir-not-my-kittens went for his string underwear.

    Nah. No-one would buy that tail of woe.

    1 0 Reply
  17. EVP

    ”No no, officer, I’m not smugling. I always keep 5 kittents in my pants while onboard. You see, they keep mice away. No gnawed electrical wiring, great for aviation safety!”

    ”There are no mice in airplanes!”

    ”Well, works good then, doesn’t it?”

    6 0 Reply
  18. Dr_N Silver badge

    Security guy was so surprised ...

    ... he probably had a stroke.

    Hope they didn't get ill travelling. Otherwise:

    Meow Cats What I Call Mew Sick

    7 0 Reply
  19. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    Cat o' nine tails

    The chap now faces a maximum $10,000 fine, a year behind bars, or both under Singapore's Animals and Birds Act,

    Were he to have transgressed in certain other jurisdictions, he may well have been forcibly acquainted with a Cat o' nine tails

    2 0 Reply
    1. 's water music Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Joke

      Re: Cat o' nine tails

      ...Singapore's Animals and Birds Act...

      What do they call themselves?

      ..

      ..

      ..

      The Aristocrats (sic)

      1 1 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Cat o' nine tails

        The Aristocats would have been fine!

        (First film I ever saw at the cinema, coincidentally...)

        1 0 Reply
        1. 's water music Silver badge
          Reply Icon
          Unhappy

          Re: Cat o' nine tails

          nope, I meant the Aristocrats

          The inclusion of (sic) was intended to head this confusion off but the joke doesn't really bear this analysis

          0 0 Reply
  20. Luiz Abdala
    Joke

    Blue Streak...

    He could have actually used the sentence "Yo tengo un gato en mis pantalones."

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmi8BLBZ5rU

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSkjQ-hJqrQ

    Martin Lawrence movie "Blue Streak" joke...

    1 0 Reply

  21. This post has been deleted by its author

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pussy

    Whilst the family was sitting at Christmas dinner table recently, my grandson turned his phone round to show his mother the cute picture of a kitten he'd found on FB or some such. My son in law muttered "Great, teenager surfing for pussy in the internet". My daughter replies "You're lucky Dad (ie, me) is sitting between us, or I'd have thrown something at you". Hilarity ensued.

    0 0 Reply
  23. Proud Father
    Joke

    Closest his dick is getting to pussy for a while.

    1 1 Reply
  24. Sanguma

    Clearly a job for

    Fur Patrol! Purrrhaps he felt he had the purrfect right to wear kitten-infest underwear ... Purrrhaps he felt kitted out for the occasion ... how would one categorize this sort of behaviour?

    0 1 Reply

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