back to article AT&T (sucks) upgrades folks to 5G (Evolution) that isn't actually 5G

AT&TScumbag has rolled out a new branding for its LTE mobile broadband network, calling the current-gen system 5GE, or 5GEvolution. Not 5G. 5GEvolution. The telecoms giant has started pushing the marketicture to Android subscribers, who will see their LTE network icon change to 5GE on their handhelds where the high-speed …

  1. Unicornpiss Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Outsourcing..

    "AT&T is laying off American workers and relying increasingly on a global web of low-wage contractors to provide customer service and network maintenance."

    So is the company I work for, and many others. And it's despicable and reprehensible behavior. And when you're done with all that outsourcing, in a decade or so, you will no longer even have a company to call your own, much less any talent base or enterprising, loyal workers that have a clue. But some douchebags' stock will be worth a lot (for a while), and the middle class divide will open a bit wider.

  2. JohnFen Silver badge

    The past as prologue

    This is pretty similar to what the US telecoms did with 4G in the US -- call it 4G without it actually being 4G. In that case, though, they managed to strongarm the ITU into redefining 4G down so that they weren't technically lying anymore.

    This would be the next step to watch out for with 5G.

  3. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge
    Trollface

    Alternate facts

    Show "5G E" whenever you have the fastest tier of LTE so that customers associate the appearance of the normal "LTE" symbol with slow service. The US is Trumpland now. Facts and history are fluid.

    I still associate an 'E' with rural private telcos offering roaming over EDGE. Yes, they still exist.

  4. abubasim
    Facepalm

    Aim gun at foot, squeeze trigger

    If people believe they already have 5G on their phones, why upgrade to genuine 5G models? Those technically inclined, who haven't switched to less dishonest operators, will be the only ones upgrading their phones. AT&T better keep a bleak outlook on their sales expectations.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    misleading rebranding

    >Telecom industry watchers have condemned the rebranding as "misleading" and "deceptive." We'd go with 12lb of excrement in a 10lb bag.

    More like 8lb of candy in a bag labeled 10lb<sub>capable bag size, contents may be substantially less</sub>

  6. Phil Kingston Silver badge

    Not sure about the US

    but here in Oz AT&T would find themselves on the end of a smackdown from the Oz Competition and Consumer Commission, a body that regularly wields quite a large stick.

    1. hellwig Silver badge

      Re: Not sure about the US

      There could be some official interaction depending on the definition of 5G. If 5G defines a specific communication standard that AT&T's 5GE does not meet, it could be considered false advertising by the FTC (FCC? not really sure who does what anymore with Pai). Additionally, if the standards body trademarked 5G, they might be able to sue AT&T for misusing the trademark.

      But I'm sure AT&T lawyers know this (IANAL), and probably have some B.S. excuse pre-made for just such occasions.

    2. BGatez

      Re: Not sure about the US

      In the US they seem to do as they like (barring occasional wrist slap)

  7. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Tap mobile

    Ours goes up to 11G

  8. This post has been deleted by its author

  9. big_D Silver badge

    1gbps here...

    is just called LTE...

    Although most tier 1 providers only offer 500mbps in their standard contracts, you have to pay extra for double the speed.

    2nd tier (MVNOs) generally offer around 50 - 100 mbps, although there are still a few cheapskate MVNOs that only offer 3G at 25mbps.

  10. Major N

    They'll get away with it too, Pai is a Telco puppet which means the FCC won't do their job and slap this down. Not that they can, thanks to the wall shutdown.

  11. ratfox Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    5G is 20 Gbps?

    Bloody hell. I'm impressed. Then again, my monthly limit is currently 2 GB, which I guess would be exhausted in about 1 second at those speeds, and I rarely reach it. So this makes me ask, what would I use such a speed for? Streaming movies in 4K to my phone?

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: 5G is 20 Gbps?

      5G is 20 Gbps (*)

      (*) small print. 20gbps is the total data rate of all the phones on our network added together, your rate might vary

  12. Milton Silver badge

    I rest my case

    I know it seems unkind to refer to an entire class of employees in a disparaging way, but I'll defend my habit on the grounds that calling people out for destructive and dishonest behaviour is a damn sight more justifiable than doing so because of some cosmetic irrelevance like skin colour.

    Thus I will continue to refer to Marketing ProfessionalsPaid Liars as Marketurds. It has become a despicable activity, often second only to politics for its incubation of the worst of human character: squalid, shabby, dishonest mediocrity.

    Too, I wonder if AT&T have an HR practice of checking the accuracy of prospective employees' CVs? Will they ask Joe-Management-Candidate what his degree from Oxford means—the line that says: Physics B.ScE?

    I guess they won't mind if he replies that 'E' means 'ended prematurely*'. 'Cos it wouldn't be considered an outright lie, intended to mislead for gain, would it?

    *Went backpacking after three weeks of the first semester.

    Terms and Conditions Apply / All the above was a lie.

  13. anthonyhegedus Silver badge

    It's like the broadband providers in the UK marketing "Fibre" when what they really mean is "Copper" (or aluminium). I can't help thinking that it lessens the impetus to go to real full FTTP, which sits nicely with the fact that <5% of the country is actually wired up to actual, real, fibre.

    1. hellwig Silver badge

      You have AT&T uVerse in the UK too?

    2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      They said FTTP, they didn't see which "P" .

      Many of these telcos have Fibre To Their Premises - it's just that they don't have fibre to yours!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        FTTP

        FTTP:

        Fiber To The (general) Proximity

        Fiber They'll Think of Providing

        Fiber Tentatively Thinking of Putting in

  14. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
    WTF?

    Ain't Capitalism just great

    Jeepers! Weird how 'Merkins are brainwashed to accept their corporate overlords. They don't mind being ripped off or the lack of tax paid by these global corps. Just mention socialism and they're like turkeys voting for *Christmas.

    *other events may apply

    P.S. I'm not a socialist, but IMO you need a balance of the two sides to hinder outrageous greed.

    1. maddmartigan

      Re: Ain't Capitalism just great

      Jeepers! Weird how Brits are brainwashed to accept their government overlords. They don't mind being taxed to death or the lack of freedom lost by the global governments. Just mention capitalism or freedom and they're like turkeys voting for *Bonfire Night.

      *other events may apply

      P.S. I'm not a capitalist or a socialist, but IMO you need a balance of things to hinder outrageous greed and oppression. It turns out that I'm just a person who doesn't agree with either application of these philosophies.

      P.P.S. See how words can be changed to represent the other side of a debate using the same nonsensical perspectives?

    2. JohnFen Silver badge

      Re: Ain't Capitalism just great

      "Weird how 'Merkins are brainwashed to accept their corporate overlords. They don't mind being ripped off or the lack of tax paid by these global corps"

      Why do you believe any of this is true?

  15. Alister Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Marketecture

    I'm stealing that one, now I've spelt it correctly...

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Idiots!

    I had AT&T once.... But I went to a pharmacy and they gave me a tiny comb. Problem solved.

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