Observed around the world by people wishing to mark the passing of a great nation, which during its time brought us Kylie Minogue, Neighbours, Cell block H, barbies and faux lager.
Sadly, as the entire nation's secrets became public knowledge, 2019 didn't go too well for them. It seems an encrypted message from Scott Morrison to his chief of staff was intercepted, backdoored open, rewritten and redirected. The result of this hack, which is still to be proved, was Australia got listed on Ebay with bidding starting at one bit coin with only 5 minutes left to the close of bidding.
Australia was eventually bought by a vegan pharmaceutical company, which began testing lipstick and all manner of noxious potions on the masses. By November of that year it was clear the 50% protocol was having a heavy toll, as each product was tested, as it is done in animal research labs, until 50% of the group had died.
Death by cosmetics is now regarded by many as more gruesome than crucifixion.
The last Australian expired while testing a new deodorant, which seemingly was so benign in its chemical make-up, they had to shoot the cannister from a makeshift cannon to fully complete the testing.
Looking on the bright side though, we can all now enjoy safer cosmetics, drink proper lager and pat ourselves on the back for the rise in the planet's average IQ.
Ho Ho Ho!