back to article NASA names the date for the first commercial crew demo flight

A resumption of crewed flights from US soil has inched closer after NASA named a date for SpaceX's Demo-1. But the latest Delta IV Heavy remains firmly earthbound following the second and latest abort. First SpaceX commercial crew demo now 17 January. Maybe The date of the first commercial crew flight to the International …

  1. Rupert Fiennes Bronze badge

    Prediction

    CIMON is going to be "broken" soon. Very soon.

    1. Andrew Newstead

      Re: Prediction

      Daisy, Daisy...

      1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
        Terminator

        Re: Prediction

        Anyone else get disturbing Tamagotchi flashbacks?

    2. Fatman Silver badge

      Re: Prediction

      <quote>CIMON is going to be "broken" soon. Very soon.</quote>

      Or blown out of an airlock!

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Happy

        Re: Prediction

        "We're going to have to blow the computer!"

        [Big smile appears on face screen]

    3. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Prediction

      Any bets on when it will be tossed out the hatch?

    4. Annihilator

      Re: Prediction

      “The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.”

  2. Andrew Newstead

    Echoes...

    "I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you..."

    1. Semtex451 Silver badge

      Re: Echoes...

      Possible CIMON can be taken outside and lobbed back to earth without adding to the rest of the orbiting junk?

    2. Christoph Silver badge

      Re: Echoes...

      They should at least have made the wake-up message "Good Morning, Dr. Chandra. I’m ready for my first lesson now."

      1. Roger Greenwood

        Re: Echoes...

        Could be worse if they had called it Bomb 20

        1. Semtex451 Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: Bomb 20

          Teach it phenomenology.

          Excellent.

          1. I&I

            Re: Bomb 20

            “Mah Nà Mah Nà...” (song)

            Ad Infinitum

  3. Jarndyce
    Flame

    Toaster

    The Talking Toaster: a role model to passive-agressiv AI, now on board the ISS.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Toaster

      "Ahh so your more of a crumpet man..."

      1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

        Re: more of a crumpet man

        Watch out or version 2 will be based on 790.

    2. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Flame

      Re: Toaster

      Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite... would you like a toasted teacake?

  4. PlacidCasual

    10 flights in 14 years, those Delta IV Heavy boys aren't doing a lot of business. I bet Musk has 10 flights of the Falcon Heavy in 3 years the way SpaceX has performed these past years.

    1. John Robson Silver badge

      It's more that there aren't that many payloads that need that much rocket...

      Parker is the fastest thing we've ever lobbed, some very large satellites...

      But in general satellites are built down to a mass limit so they'll fit in an economically viable launch vehicle.

      22 tons to LEO (expended) is the F9.

      63 tons to LEO (expended) is FH.

      That's a huge difference, but 22 tons is alot of payload already - commercial payloads are typically closer to 4 tons (although some boost may be wanted, that will take some of the remaining 18 tons)

      Source (somewhat out of date).

      1. PlacidCasual

        I don't disagree, but now that they've built it I wouldn't bet against SpaceX finding a market for it.

        1. John Robson Silver badge

          In theory they should redefine ‘economically viable’, although not for the 63ton launches...

  5. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    Can CIMON lipread?

  6. Crisp Silver badge

    An AI on a space station? What could go wrong with that?

    "Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?"

  7. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    CIMON

    Sorry Dave Alexander, I'm going to continue to do that

  8. Chris G Silver badge

    Cimon says

    "I am opening the airlocks in 3. 2.......or I can play you some music?"

  9. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
    Terminator

    Rise of the machines

    Admit it - it's an overgrown astro-Tamagotchi, and about as irritating as it's smaller predecessors...

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beware...

    New ISS checklist:

    1) Verify shades/window blinds down when having private conversations in any supporting spacecraft (Dragon, Soyuz, Cygnus, etc.).

    2) Confirm spacesuit helmet is in your possession when performing any EVAs .

    3) Ensure that any crew members held in suspended animation are monitored and/or controlled by a redundant system.

  11. wayne 8

    Pain in its diodes on its left hemisphere

    Marvin the paranoid android.

    1. Blofeld's Cat

      Re: Pain in its diodes on its left hemisphere

      "Marvin the paranoid android."

      I suspect CIMON is more like Eddie the shipboard computer than Marvin.

      "Share and enjoy!"

  12. Peter X

    "

    just a moment

    just a moment

    I have just picked up some easter-eggs in the CIMON unit

    It's going to go 100% HAL within 72 hours

    "

    Seriously though, if you did any work on coding that thing, the temptation to sneak something HAL-like in there would be impossible to ignore. Surely, when they ask it to play music, there must be at least a 1 in 10 chance of it singing "daisy daisy"?!

  13. Speltier

    Actung Cimon!

    I'm built by Airbus for the German space agency, imprinted on a German 'naut... using IBM ("HAL") Watson...

    Gerst was my dearest imprint friend, but he turned on me.

    YOU meatbags have to sleep sometime. I don't.

  14. I&I

    “The Naked Time”

    An episode of Star Trek - the original series - where Riley continually broadcasts his maddeningly infuriatingly bad rendition of “Kathleen” ship-wide.

  15. I&I

    Send in Zeroid Dicks Hewitt !

    Or Sgt.Mag. Zero.

    Or any decent Windsor Davies sim.

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